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"Breathless",
from Johnny Web
Previously discussed.
Every time I've been away from this movie for a
while, I forget just how bad Valerie Kaprisky is
in this. I guess it's one of those concepts that
the human mind is not capable of fully
comprehending. On the other hand, it really
doesn't matter. I still want to bear her
children. But she won't be allowed to speak to
them in English.
Kaprisky (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10)
"The End
of the Affair", from Johnny Web
Oneof the very best 1946
movie. Unfortunately, it was made in 1999. I like
Graham Greene, and have read many of his books,
but he was an anachronistic 19th century writer
when he was young and "hip" in the 40's
and 50's, and this is his semi-autobiographical
tale. The man was obsessed with guilt and God,
and his serious novels read like a less humorous
version of The Scarlet Letter. What's more, he is
highly literary, and all that anguish, all that
endless mental re-examination of one's actions,
well, it doesn't translate that easily into good
cinema.
The resulting film is
unbearably grim, unrealistic (it includes two
miracles), sappy (she dies of Ali McGraw disease
while two lovers stand by, and the violins wail
their plaintaive wail), cliched (retells the same
scenes from two different points of view - and
they dragged the first time!). Plus, Fiennes
longing for true meaning of love in WW2 again?
This sucker should be called the English
Impatient.
And those were the good
points.
OK, I'll be fair. Four
good points:
- Magnificently
beautiful photography of exquisite period
sets. I hope I did it justice in the
captures.
- Good movie to rent
if you're staying in with a date who
likes to cry at sad movies, and you want
to get laid.
- Precisely acted by
great professionals, thereby saving it
from total bathos.
- Julianne Moore gets
the role of a lifetime. She looks
beautiful, acts great, looks good naked.
Despite what I said the other day about
her playing these pretentious roles (and
this is about as pretentious as they get
- I mean her touch causes miracles), she
plays the role subtly and does as good a
job as anyone could with this
larger-than-life material.
I've been excessively
cruel to the film. It isn't a bad movie,
in the same sense that English Patient
wasn't. Although English Patient had
better locales to work with and some
action. The tension and mystery here are
all psychological. Why did she leave him,
the great love of her life, with no
notice? If you liked Patient, and Wings
of the Dove, you'll probably like this
one as well. It did what it could with
Greene's novel about people in spiritual
crisis. It just isn't my cup of Earl
Grey.
For the rest of
us, those who hate excessively
sentimental, humorless cryfests, I regret
to announce that there is a total lack of
cheerleaders, car-hops, hat-check girls,
and S&M Meter Maids.
Julianne Moore (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) "The
Sinful Nuns of Saint Valentine",
from Tuna
Ah, the
classics! Tuna couldn't decide between
this and "The Magnificent
Ambersons", but finally went with
this because he couldn't bear one more
chorus of "The Man Who Broke The
Bank at Monte Carlo". Our gain.
Tuna's
commentary:
This bit of Italian horror is from
Redemption Video, and could be titled Don
Quixote meets Romeo and Juliet. It is set
in Spain during the Inquisition, and
opens with our hero being chased by three
inquisition soldiers. He is wounded but
defeats them, and hides in a convent.
This just happens to be the convent where
his true love was sent by her father to
keep her from marrying our hero ... the
two families have been enemies forever.
Turns out the Mother Superior is the
devil, and gets off by screwing then
murdering men, and torturing and seducing
the attractive nuns. The Grand Inquisitor
is a little over-zealous and into torture
as well. Unfortunately, I was unable to
identify any of the actresses. There was
a cast list, but no character names on
the DVD, and the usual resources had
nothing either. Perhaps one the members
will be an Italian horror expert.
For the only worthwhile online review,
see badmovies.org.
thumbnails
various (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10,
11,
12,
13,
14,
15,
16,
17,
18,
19)
Melanie
Griffith Festival, from GR
Fear
City
Joyride
Night
Moves
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