Saturday

Tuna
"Pola X"

Pola X (1999) -- French film maker Leos Carax took a novel by Herman Mellville so bad that nobody had bothered to publish it, Pierre, or the Ambiguities, wrote 9 presumably even worse screen plays, then turned the tenth version into this masterpiece. The title is the acronym for the French title of the novel, followed by the script version.

Melville is famous for that great classic about venereal disease that nobody has actually read, Moby Dick, and once you get past that, he was truly demented. He met his match in Carax. A young man of privilege who has published a successful fluff novel under a pseudonym lives in an odd and possibly incestuous relationship with his mother, and is due to marry his cousin. This is the normal part. After dreaming of a woman with dark, unkempt hair fro several nights, he meets the woman, who relates some strange story explaining that she is his half sister. So, of course, there is nothing for it but he must give up everything for her. When he tries to check into a hotel with her, she is refused because of her stench. Presumably, that makes her all the more desirable. They, and a mother/daughter that seem to hang with them but are never quite explained move into a terrorist training camp, where he sets about writing the great French novel. He fails. His rick and privileged girlfriend/cousin moves in with them. Then the sister gets hit by a truck.

We have clear breast exposure from Catherine Deneuve as the mother, a quick nipple from Delphine Chuillot as the cousin, and star Guillaume Depardieu and has real life girlfriend filmed some very dark footage of them doing the nasty that was inserted to be he and the sister having sex. IMDb readers have this at 5.8 of 10. I can't imagine why. Not only is the story completely unmotivated and ridiculous, but the film was technically a mess as well. Ebert apologized for a prejudice in favor of insanity, and awarded three stars. This is a E-. If you decide to see it anyway, don't say I didn't warn you.

  • Thumbnails

  • Catherine Deneuve (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Delphine Chuillot (1, 2)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Update:

    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated

     

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    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     
    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Flick" (1970) aka "Dr. Frankenstein on Campus"
    Grade-F drugsploitation that not only managed to get government funding but was mostly shot on the campus of the University of Toronto. Hippie students protesting computers of all things makes this hopelessly dated.


    "High-Ballin'" (1978)
    Somewhat dated trucker movie starring Jerry Reed and Peter Fonda.


    "Secrets of a Married Man" (1984)
    PG-rated drama about adultery starring William Shatner so it means a lot of hookers in Victoria's Secret underwear and a shirtless Captain Kirk.


    "Do or Die" (2003)
    Grade-D science fiction and the last movie by Guylaine St. Onge who died of cervical cancer recently.


    "Zardoz" (1974)
    Grade-D science fiction starring Sean Connery with exposure by most of the female cast. One of the "apathetics" with big boobs goes nympho near the end and shows her breasts in sex scene. She is most likely no-name actress Jessica Swift but could be Bairbre Dowling who later became Mrs. Miles O'Brien of Star Trek fame.

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "A Different Loyalty"
    Interesting if somewhat draggy in spots, this 2004 spy story features Sharon Stone a U.S. war correspondent during the Beirut conflict of 1963, prior to the breakup of the Soviet Union. She meets a fellow correspondent from Britain, and falls in love.

    They return to Britain, then suddenly he disappears. Soon after, the CIA shows up to announce that he is a spy for the KGB.

    Her search for her husband brings her to the Soviet Union, where their love and loyalty are put to the supreme test.

    As I said, an interesting movie that suffers slightly from slow pacing, but is worthwhile nevertheless.

    PAL
    Tiziana Altieri Toplessness and also showing a little bush in scenes from the 1987 flick, "Iron Warrior".

    Savina Gersak Serious see-thru views as well as an exposed breast in more scenes from "Iron Warrior".

    Iris Berben The long-time star of German cinema going topless in scenes from "Das Geheimnis des gelben Geparden" (1990).

    Céline Bonnier The French Canadian actress going topless and showing some pubes during a love scene from an episode of the made for cable series, "The Hunger".

    Gina Gershon The always sexy Gershon baring a breast in scenes from the indie film, "This World, Then the Fireworks" (1997).

    Sheryl Lee Dancing around topless in another scene from the Billy Zane movie, "This World, Then the Fireworks".

    Mary Beth Rubens The Canadian actress going topless in scenes from the early 80's flick "Firebird 2015 A.D.".

    Variety
    Pascale Bussières
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    		The French-Canadian actress gives a triple B performance in "La Turbulence des fluides" (2002).

    Paris Hilton Here she is in the much talked about commercial. Paris is wearing a bikini, covered in suds and fondling both a car and a Carl's Jr. hamburger.

    Julia Huet-Alberola
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    		Vejiita 'caps of the French actress baring all 3 B's in scenes from her one and only film credit, "Fragile" (2003).

    Mia Kirshner
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    		Yet another look at Mia's full frontalness from last week's episode of "The L Word". 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    UNIVERSITY OFFERS CLASS ON PORN
    Requirement For Advertising Majors - The University of Iowa angered conservative legislators by offering a course on pornography in pop culture. The class is full and there's a waiting list, but the teacher, grad student Jay Clarkson, said students who expect to be titillated will be disappointed. He said, "It's not a class about enjoying or viewing pornography." They'll examine how porn moved from adult bookstores to mainstream advertising, read analyses by critics, and not even view porn in class.

  • Unless you want extra credit.
  • Sure, they will: they'll have it hidden inside their textbooks, like in all the other classes.
  • This sounds more like a lesson in false advertising.
  • The class where you do nothing but look at porn is open only to guys on sports scholarships.


    BART SIMPSON ELECTED MAYOR
    She Beat Mayor Quimby - Tuesday, Nancy Cartwright, who provides the voice of Bart Simpson, was elected mayor of Northridge, a Los Angeles suburb. Ironically, she ran on a platform of clamping down on out-of-control punk kids. She said she lives in a nice neighborhood, but down the street, there's "drugs, gangs, stealing and illiteracy."

  • The gangs are led by Jimbo and Nelson.
  • She would've run for governor, but she's an underachiever and proud of it.

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