Monday - Happy Memorial Day

The Dreamers (2003) - HD clips seven and eight - last day

It was a film from acclaimed Italian director Bernardo Bertolucci, and Eva Green's nudity was chosen by our voters as the best nude scene of the year. Review here. It's easy to get excited about high definition videos and captures from this film! Here are the last two.

 
Here is the seventh clip (zipped .avi). Eva Green starts to shave the American's pubes, and he tells he that he's tired of their infantile games. The two caps below come from this clip.

In the eighth clip, Eva does her famous Venus de Milo thing. The caps below come from this clip.

 

 

Deadly Weapons (1974) - clips seven and eight - last day

Here's a classic, although for the wrong reasons. The movie is so bad that it should be sold in cheese shops instead of video outlets, but it does feature the unique talents of one "Chesty" Morgan, she of the 72 inch natural gazongas. Her chest isn't that sexy, but it certainly is a curiosity item. Here are the last two installments. (7, 8) (Large zipped .wmv files.)

 

 

Domino (1988)

This is not last year's Tony Scott movie, but an 80s cheesefest starring Brigitte Nielsen.

Check out the plot summary:

"A girl in the video industry travels with a jeweled turtle and makes Billie Holliday videos. Though having relations with some of her friends, she is looking for love. She begins getting calls from a stranger who tells her not to worry, that he'll watch over her. But when she wants to meet him he does not show up."

Man, that sounds action-packed! I wonder why Spielberg never bought that script for an Indiana Jones movie.

It's rated a sterling 3.0 at IMDb.

The clips are dark and the film is crappy, but this film is seen so rarely that I felt obligated to share them. At least they're fairly small downloads. Zipped .wmvs (1, 2) There are some decent Scanman caps in the Encyclopedia.

 

 

Lucky Number Slevin (2005)

The film is a smart-alecky noir which got pretty good reviews, but received a tepid reception at the box office. This is the sex scene, which we now know to have been performed by Shira Leigh. Zipped .avi

 

 

 

Other Crap:

FilmJerk.com's Early Report for May 28

'Breakfast Club' principal dies

  • Paul Gleason was not only a go-to baddie in the film world, but was once a minor league baseball player as well.

Weekend Box Office Results, May 26-28, 2006

  • I'll show the analysis and comparison chart tomorrow, since the forecasts were for the four-day holiday.
  • There is such a sudden drop off from rich to poor that some completely obscure films managed to sneak up pretty high. Keeping Up With the Steins took in only $579,000 on a mere 146 screens, but that was enough for 12th place.

715 *

My advice to the Nationals - let Soriano go for 50-50

  • He's currently on pace for 57 homers and 38 stolen bases. (He had a 39/41 season in the past.) I say the Washington Nationals should just give him the permanent green light. The Nationals are obviously going nowhere as a team, and an interesting record chase would increase their attendance as well as shift the nation's overall baseball focus away from steroids and Bonds. Plus Soriano is 30 now, and this could be his last chance, because base stealing is a young man's game.

Irish war film wins Cannes' Palme d'Or

  • Almodovar won best screenplay for Volver, his bitter-sweet tale of abuse, abandonment and reconciliation which was the critics' favourite to take the Palme d'Or before the awards were announced.
  • Best director went to Mexico's Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu for Babel, a sweeping portrayal of barriers -- personal, cultural and national -- which was shot on three continents and stars Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett.

'X-Men' storms to record opening weekend

  • "X-Men: The Last Stand stormed to an estimated $107 million three-day opening, the largest ever for Memorial Day weekend and the fourth-biggest in box office history"
  • The distance by which it shattered the Memorial Day record was phenomenal. The previous record for the three day Memorial Day weekend was $72 million, which X-Men 3 had already beaten on Saturday! The previous four-day record was $90 million - and X-Men already has $107 million with one day to go!

WELCOME TO THE HISTORICAL PRESERVATION LIBRARY OF BANNED CARTOONS

  • This is an incredible collection of animated films which you can no longer see elsewhere because of offensive portrayals of various minorities (especially black people, but also Germans and Japanese during the war years).

Dave Barry offers his tips for the 2006 hurricane season

Duke Lacrosse Team Charged with Murdering 30 Iraqi Civilians

 

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Bare Behind Bars (1980)

Bare Behind Bars (1980), or A Prisão, is a Brasilian film from Oswaldo De Oliveira who wrote, directed and photographed it. It is regarded as the mother of all Women in Prison movies, and not without some justification. It has all of the proper elements for the genre, naked women having sex, showering, escaping, and being tortured in a milieu of evil lesbian wardens, a good-hearted guard, a rat infested solitary cell, and nasty inmates.

It does have a plot of sorts as well.

The warden, Maria Stella Splendore, runs a nasty little prison. Women are tied to a chicken wire covered table and beaten with sticks while being drenched with water. All except the really cute, clean ones that is. Those are the personal bed toys of the warden until she sees something better, at which time they are sold as sex slaves to wealthy women. One guard doesn't approve of the warden, and has ambitions. The so-called nurse is also a carpet muncher, and has a thing for one of the inmates. She evidently has no training or medical skill, but does know how to carve a pineapple into a dildo.

Spoilers

It is into this environment that a new prisoner arrives. She is determined to escape, and seduces the warden to gain an upper hand. She makes a pact with two other prisoners that can help her, including the nurse's sweetie. They eventually make good on the escape with help from the nurse, only to be caught by the police, and returned to the prison, where the warden has been caught and faces criminal charges.

End Spoilers

As the plot is mostly a throwaway anyway, even the above paragraph shouldn't detract from your appreciation of this film. It is nearly constant nudity, mostly full frontal and rear, and includes hard core hetero and lesbian sex scenes here and there. While the three prisoners are on the outside, we are treated to a man's penis being cut off and shoved in his mouth, and a heart-warming family scene in which a young boy watches one of the escapees cut off his father's penis and feed it to a dog to stop its barking.

There have been various releases here and there in the world over the years.  I am aware of releases in the USA, Germany, and China. The American release was rated X in 1980, and that was likely a censored version. It was banned in the UK, and the would-be distributor lost a court case over it, so it is still banned there. Blue Underground has now released a fully restored version on DVD, including all of the hard-core footage.

Obviously a C+ - a genre masterpiece. It is absolutely everything a WIP should be, and goes well over the top in several places. This is simply a must-own for any WIP fan. (And a must-avoid for anyone else.)

IMDb readers say 4.9 based on only 42 votes. Anyone giving this a low score should never have watched it in the first place.

 

 

Maria Stella Splendore as the warden

Marta Anderson as the nurse,

Neide Ribeiro as the head guard

unknowns

 

 		 

 

 

 

 

 
The Romantic Englishwoman
 

The Romantic Englishwoman (1975) briefly shows a naked Glenda Jackson as she begins a bit of night-time nooky.


This one also comes with a film clip (Zipped .avi, divx format)

(Scoop's note: the film clip is very much worth watching. The nighttime scene is highly entertaining, with a great "punch line." The poolside scene is truly bizarre - one of the strangest scenes I've ever witnessed: the overblown music, the bizarre and gratuitous upward pan, the banal dialogue. It seems like a brilliant work of parody - whether it was supposed to be or not!)

Saint Ralph


I'm not even sure why Lubica Kucerova is in the credits of Saint Ralph (2004) as her only contribution was a few seconds of butt. We don't even see her face.

  
 

Walking on the Sky


Walking on the Sky (2005) is a a mediocre independent film. No nudity as Nicole Fonarow has sex with her clothes on.



 

Dead Bodies


Dead Bodies (2003) was an interesting British film. We see Katy Davis' butt

 and some side nudity by Kelly Reilly.


 
 

Christmas With the Kranks


No nudity in Christmas With the Kranks (2004) but we see why old people shouldn't wear bikinis when Jamie Lee Curtis tries to get a tan.


 
 

The Final Conflict


We see quite a bit of a naked Lisa Harrow in The Final Conflict (1981).


 
 

Wicker Park


No nudity in Wicker Park (2004) but we have some nice caps of Diane Kruger

and Rose Byrne.


 
 

54


54 (1998) is the story of dance club Studio 54 in the 70s. The nudity comes from unknowns in the club, who seemed to do just about everything in public.

Sela Ward is also naked but we only see her from the back.

There is also some nice cleavage by Salma Hayek

and lovely caps of Lorri Bagley.



 

Sleepwalkers


No real nudity in Sleepwalkers (1992), maybe just a bit of Mädchen Amick's nipple poking out as she takes a bath.

Alice Krige shows some pokies.


 
 

Siblings

 
No nudity in Siblings but we see Sarah Polley start some self-stimulation before turning off the light.



 

Charlie's Angels To See An Angel Die


Naturally, no nudity but pokies by Tanya Roberts in Charlie's Angels To See An Angel Die (1980).


 
 

Charlie's Angels Waikiki Angels


Pokies and cleavage by Tanya Roberts

Cheryl Ladd

Jaclyn Smith

and Denise DuBarry

 in Charlie's Angels Waikiki Angels (1980).
 
 

Charlie's Angels Hula Angels


The first few episodes of the last season were set in Hawaii. This meant that there was an excuse for plenty of bikinis, pokies and cleavage, this time by Tanya Roberts

Cheryl Ladd

and Jaclyn Smith

 in Charlie's Angels Hula Angels (1980).
 
 

Charlie's Angels Island Angels


Pokies and cleavage by Tanya Roberts

Jaclyn Smith

Carol Lynley

and Hef's former squeeze Barbie Benton

in Charlie's Angels Island Angels (1980).
 
 

Charlie's Angels Angels on Skates


Cheryl Ladd shows her form as a skater in Charlie's Angels Angels on Skates (1979).



 

Charlie's Angels He Married an Angel


Pokies by Tanya Roberts



 

and pokies by Jaclyn Smith

 in Charlie's Angels He Married an Angel (1979).

 

 

 

 

A Happy Memorial Day to all. 

More soft core erotica from "Forbidden."

Tracy Ryan shows off her smoking hot body.

Inari Vachs had only one scene in the movie but it was a good one - stark naked outdoor sex.

 

 

 

 

 

Clips only today.  Here's Japanese uber-babe Chieko Shiratori in one of the Zero Woman movies. Think of her as an Asian Jason Bourne with boobs. 

Zipped .avis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

 

  

 

 

 

 
Dann reports on BloodRayne:

How do you take top-notch actors, a decent enough vampire story, and good special effects, and combine them into the total crap that is 2005's BloodRayne? Director Uwe Boll managed to find a way, aided by dialog that looks like it was written by third graders, with directing by their teacher.

Based on a video game and set in eighteenth century Romania, Rayne is a dhampir (human/vampire offspring) who is driven to revenge her mother's rape and murder by her father, Kagan, King of Vampires. She is aided in her quest by three vampire hunters, who enlist her aid in finding and killing Kagan.

It could have been so good, but the really terrible dialog, lame acting (probably more the fault of bad directing than bad acting), and general poor movie-making make this just a mess. In fact, there's good stuff in this movie: the action and fight scenes were good, and Kristanna Loken's sex scene, where she bounces her boobs for several seconds for the camera, is very cool, but overall, it's a major disappointment.

Kristanna Loken various

 

 

 

 
Audrey Tautou in The Libertine. In addition to being as cute as a button, she has about the sexiest rump ever.

A very brief flash from Audrey Tautou in Dirty Pretty Things