Eurotrip (2004) was produced by the same people that brought us Old School and Road Trip. The premise is simple -- what would happen if four American High School Graduates were turned loose in Europe. Like the two movies mentioned above, Scoopy loved the irreverent, politically incorrect humor, and I was not as amused, probably because I don't relate to the characters. I did find this the funniest of the three, and liked certain scenes very much. The schtick in the Vatican was priceless. The DVD is chock full of special features, including deleted scene, an alternate ending, links to the nude scenes and unrated scenes and commentary.

Lots of women shows breasts, including Molly Schade, Jessica Bohrs, Tereza Brettschweiderova, Kristyna Simova, Edita Deveroux and Petra Tomankova. There are additional topless babes on a nude beach, and in a sex club in Amsterdam. IMDb readers have this at 5.9 of 10, and it earned less than half of its budget at the box office. Critics were not especially kind. The film finds much of its humor in exaggerating stereotypes, but also has some running gags to help with continuity. It is well made, although some of the gags are way too long on screen. IF this is your kind of humor, and you relate to the characters, it will be great fun for you. I will stick to European Vacation. Based on this description, it is a C+.

Starship Troopers 2

The first Starship Trooper film, directed by the often brilliant but highly unpredictable Paul Verhoeven,  had a little bit of everything. It was simultaneously a teen love story, a comedy, a cultural satire, a war movie, and an anti-war movie. While it wasn't an unqualified masterpiece, it was a lot of fun in a lot of ways, and it was involving, because it developed the main characters fairly well and treated them with respect, even when it was wandering off into its various crazy directions.

The straight-to-video sequel really isn't any fun at all until the last minute or so.

Unlike the first movie, which ranged freely across earth and the entire universe, this one takes place in what is fundamentally a single set. Instead of looking at the grand scope of the war between man and bug, it is basically just one small chapter in that war, consisting of a single siege which takes place on one remote corner of one remote planet. A bunch of humans are trapped in a deserted fortress, surrounded, with only a protective electrified field separating them from a bazillion bugs. The sun never shines on this particular planet, and the lights don't always work in the fortress, so the most common type of scene in the film consists of humans battling against CGI bugs in near-total darkness. I'm guessing that those battles fill up half of the film's running time, while the other half consists of grungy dark interludes between battles. This movie is so dark that even David Fincher would have been crying for some more light bulbs.

This time the bugs have a new secret strategy. They have found out how to implant themselves into humans in a way that enables them to control the human host body without being detected, except by the human's designated psychics. The insects hope to do far more than overcome the dozen humans in the fortress. Their master plan is to take over the body of the general, and allow him to escape back to HQ, where he will help to develop bug-friendly policies while planting more bugs into more generals and senators and so forth. The writer might have pulled a rabbit out of this hat if he had employed a little misdirection and had hidden the identities of the infected humans. Unfortunately, once the bug plan was revealed, the script almost immediately let the audience in on each masquerade, which squelched the suspense.

In is only in the final minute that the film exhibits some of the satirical charm and insight of its predecessor. One of the humans survives thanks to a tough renegade officer named Dax, who kicks bug ass even though he really thinks the military sucks because it blindly uses infantrymen as cannon fodder. Dax, however, despite his distaste for the army, always does what he has to do to defeat bugs, and eventually gives up his own life to beat the bugs' master plan. When the single survivor gets back to HQ and tells her story, the military PR guys decide to turn Dax into a glorious hero.  The P.R. team whitewashes his bad attitude, conveniently expunges some of Dax's more unsavory exploits - like killing his commanding officer - from his record, and uses his story in rah-rah gung-ho recruiting films - exactly the last thing the angry Dax would have wanted.

The film might have been OK if it had developed more irony like that last bit, or had allowed us to get involved with the characters, but it didn't go down like that. The film is short on brains, short on satire, short on characterization, short on light bulbs, and long on CGI swarms of bugs.

Pass on this one, even if you love Sci-Fi and even if you liked the first Starship Troopers. I'm in that group with you, and I still thought this one was a waste of time. D+.

• Kelly Carlson (1, 2, 3)

OTHER CRAP:

• TV intros - clips from 100+ shows.
• Phil Plait's Bad Astronomy: Inaccuracies in TV and movies.
• ORIGINAL Adolf Hitler Artworks
• JoBlo.com's complete Cannes Wrap-Up
• Comedy Central Classics - interview with Matthew McConaughey
• Fahrenheit 9/11' will be released June 25 by a partnership that includes a group formed by Miramax heads Harvey and Bob Weinstein, Lions Gate Films and IFC films.
• COSBY CALLS FAT ALBERT "AN OBESE DISGRACE". Comedian's Audience Listens in Stunned Silence.
• More evidence on the Lindsay Lohan debate
• Kulture Korner. Today: poetry. "All of the Words on a Bottle of Rolling Rock Beer - in a Different Order"
• Post Karmazin resignation - will Howard Stern be the next to go?
• 'Fahrenheit 9/11' has elder Bush boiling
• Xtina in a very tight shirt, almost see-through, no bra
• National Spelling Bee starts with a written test.
• "Padilla has admitted that he completed an al-Qaeda training camp application". I want to see what those forms look like. Padilla's application was on the official "Mujahideen Identification Form / New Applicant Form". You wouldn't think al-Qaeda would have so much bureaucracy. Do you think they reject anybody?
• Albanian Cheese Wrestling Festival
• Here's a unique defense: "post traumatic slave syndrome"
• Radio pirate disrupts Fisher's Indy 500
• Red Sox find fan who was alive and REMEMBERS their last World Series championship (1918) .
• Urban Golf - for the man in the street
• Liverpool blames poor season on farting.
• China warns Britney over scanty outfits. "Relevant departments will carry out strict reviews of Britney Spears' performance clothing," the report said. "Relevant" - sure, that's easy for them to say.
• Both Williams sisters ousted in France. Capriati outlasts Serena, Myskina beats Venus in straight sets.
• What's the origin of Pig Latin?
• Man brings a sword to a gunfight. Man threatens police officer with sword. Police officer blows him away. Man never watched Raiders of the Lost Ark.
• Norway shuts down noisy power plant to allow piano tuning.
• Big Brother UK coverage - including nudity.
• Entrepreneur Hits The `Sweet Spot' With Happy Twat Cleansers
• Missed the Sundance Film Festival in January? Couldn't get a hotel room in Cannes? Consider Flint. The blue-collar city of 125,000, perhaps best associated with the cinematic arts as the backdrop for native son Michael Moore's 1989 documentary 'Roger & Me,' is preparing for its inaugural Flint Film Festival. The total budget is $20,000.
• Norway reimburses family for their son's bed-wetting expenses.
• Roller Coaster stopped by a wig. "To ride on this attraction, you must be THIS tall, and not Bill Shatner"
• Design your own cereal box
• The Scout Walker Kama Sutra
• Fossil Fuels to be replaced by ... bananas. Honduras to assume presidency of OBEC.
• Where go you keep YOUR cellphone?
• The Lindsay Lohan implant debate rages on.
• URL says it all, but WHY? GPSDrawing.com
• Your pizza dude is a narc.
• URL says it all: DurdenForAmerica.com The first rule of the Tyler Durden Presidential campaign is that we don't talk about the Tyler Durden Presidential campaign.
• Norway bans smoking in taverns. I've always been amazed by the fact that 26% of Norwegian adults smoke, even though a pack of cigarettes costs about $8.00. Obviously Norwegian health authorities have also noticed and want to do something about it.
• Jerry "Gatsby" Seinfeld adds a full-sized baseball field to his Long Island Estate . (With aerial photography of his grounds) "OK, I built the motherfucker, why haven't they come"
• Michael Douglas's ex has twin boys named Hudson and Hawk. She must be the world's biggest Danny Aiello fan.
• Michelangelo May Have Been Autistic
• Halle Berry can't stop farting!
• "Pretty Woman" Julia Roberts Pregnant with Twins
• Snoop Dogg's Guide to Nanotechnologizzle
• Elmore Leonard writes a book for juveniles? Yes, but hard-bitten juveniles, packin' roscoes, and outsmartin' corrupt cops.
• Sixth graders solve murders. Don't tell Elmore Leonard about this.
• URL says it all: DavidHasselhoffOnline.com
• Fact or Urban Legend: Champagne "coupe" glasses were modeled on Marie Antoinette's breasts. Well, it might have been true except they were designed in England in 1663, about a hundred years before she was born!
• "Fahrenheit 911" Distribution Deal - July 2nd release looks fairly solid.
• Homer Simpson's dream comes true. Beer truck overturns on interstate
• Original 'Star Wars' to get a face-lift - including new faces for some characters. Amazingly, Chewbacca now looks like former Baywatch actress Pamela Anderson.
• Again - the top story in Norway is something that hasn't actually happened yet! High school porn actresses afraid mom and dad will find out.
• 'Apprentice's Kwame fired again - from Miss Universe job.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

HELP!

This letter from Mr Skin is self explanatory. I simply don't know the answer - maybe one of you knows and can share with us. Write me here

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

B. Monkey

I've pointed out before that this is the movie to see if you're curious about Asia Argento. It's actually a pretty cool movie, with some dramatic cinematography and, of course, plenty of nudity. Review page.

• Asia Argento ( .avi, .wmv), This one is VERY similar to the one from the other day.
• Asia Argento ( .avi, .wmv). This one, however,  is a completely different scene.

The Waterdance

Tuna and I both recommend this film without hesitation. It is the story of a guy's battle back from an accident which rendered him a paraplegic - as written by a guy who actually lived the experience. Unlike most films which tackle this subject, this one feels real. In fact, it rejects every chance it gets to be phony. The author also directed the film, his one and only feature-length directorial effort.

Once the darling of Sundance, The Waterdance is now all but forgotten except for a few Helen Hunt aficionados. And wrongfully so. The movie is funny, and touching. And, of course, it represents Helen Hunt's best nudity. Review page.

• Helen Hunt (avi, .wmv)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

• Jennifer Leigh Hammon as 'Allyson'. Some folks may recognize her from the daytime soaps "General Hospital" and "Port Charles". Here she is showing all 3 B's and gettin' it on in several scenes.
  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

• Jennifer Leigh Hammon .wmvs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

  
  

• Caroline Ambrose shows breasts and bum in a couple of sex scenes. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

• Caroline Ambrose .wmv

HEPBURN TOPS 100 GREATEST BEAUTIES LIST
We Love Jennifer Aniston's Natural Nose - In an Evian-sponsored survey of beauty editors, makeup artists, photographers and model agencies, Audrey Hepburn was chosen the most naturally beautiful woman ever, the embodiment of healthy living and natural beauty, with a glow of both personality and complexion. But the rest of the top 100 are debatable: Hepburn was followed by Liv Tyler, Cate Blanchett and Angelina Jolie, with Grace Kelly trailing at #5. Kate Moss (13), Madonna (19), J-Lo (26), Julia Roberts (28) and other modern celebrities were far ahead of the classic beauties like Ingrid Bergman (65) and Catherine Deneuve (76). And for some reason, Marilyn Monroe is listed twice, at 27 and 36.