The First Nudie Musical (1976) was reviewed long ago by Scoopy, and not favorably. Given full frontal from Alexandra Morgan, Susan Stewart and Jane Ralston, as well as five unidentified chorus girls, it was time to tackle it. It is a movie within a movie, as a young producer tries to save his family studio by making The First Nudie Musical, with the help of his secretary, Cindy Williams. I found the thing rather silly. The most interesting thing about it is a back story. They finished the film and landed a distribution deal with Paramount. However, when Cindy Williams became a co-star of the run-away Paramount family hour hit Laverne and Shirley, Paramount killed the film.

The film is basically one erotic production number after another, coupled with the usual problems of filming a low budget movie schtick. IMDb readers have this at 4.6. It completely fails in its attempt to spoof porno films, but was rather daring for 1976, and has some offbeat energy appeal. This is a C-.

Darling (1980):

Beautiful Julie Christie in one of her greatest roles. Bum and breasts, and ya gotta love the cheesy 60s musical score!  (zipped .wmv)

Be Cool (2005):

If you're like me, you thought Get Shorty was a pretty cool movie - not a world-beater, but an entertaining time-killer about an ultracool loan shark who decides to get into the movie business. If you agree with that assessment, you probably shared my anticipation for the sequel, Be Cool, which brought back John Travolta in one of his best roles as Chili Palmer, the cooler-than-cool mobster turned hipster.

Sorry. The idea was better than the execution. I found myself drifting off during parts of this film!

Nothin' agin' Travolta who not only has this role nailed, but also got his looks back and is capable of being a completely believable leading man again. The script just went in all the wrong directions. The author was not lacking in suitable clay to develop good ideas. Since Travolta decided to get into the music business, a lot of music superstars were on hand in both small roles and cameos. Christina Milian can totally sing, and also turned out to be an adequate actress for the ingenue role. Some of Chili's cool-ass banter was funny. There were some good minor characters as well: The Rock was on hand as the world's worst bodyguard, and he was damned funny; Vince Vaughn was on hand as the world's lightest-complected black pimp, and he too had some moments.

So what went wrong? There were two major problems:

1) Too many characters, too little time. There would have been more than enough plot with Chili taking on one or two different antagonists in the record business. The basic plot is that he's trying to muscle a talented entertainer away from Harvey Keitel, despite the fact that Harvey has an iron-clad contract. That plot alone would have permitted the development of six solid characters: one team would have consisted of Chili, Uma Thurman as the widowed inheritor of a debt-ridden studio, and the star singer (Christina Milian). The other team would have been Keitel, Vaughn, and The Rock. Given that basic structure with six characters, some of the promising cameos (Danny DeVito and James Woods, for example) could have been expanded. The screenwriter could have had a lot more fun with DeVito in particular. Unfortunately, the film added not one but two additional rival groups: a bunch of Russian mobsters and a bunch of gangsta rappers, both of whom felt that Uma's penniless studio owed them some big-time bucks. Acting outside any of these groups was a hit man who was hired by Keitel, but ended up as an independent agent being killed by Keitel's own men. That gave the film five different warring factions, all killing or trying to kill members of various other groups in complex permutations. For a while there the plot was getting so complicated that it made The Big Sleep seem as simple as The Odd Couple. There was just too much going on, and it was requiring too much mental energy for a film that I hoped to watch with my brain turned to the off position.

2) Chili is now too damned cuddly. The sequel to Pitch Black was done in when they made Riddick cuddly, and this film has some of that same vibe. In essence, Chili has gone from antihero to superhero, using his cool and persuasive powers to fight evil. This movie actually has a sappy ending in which the sweet, naive singer wins some awards under Chili's management, and she's just all gushy.

• Uma Thurman (There isn't any nudity, but Uma came so close that the pics are worth looking at, especially if you are a fan.) (1, 2, 3, 4)

Other Crap:

• KILL BILL director Quentin Tarantino has reportedly signed up to bring Eddie Murphy back as Beverly Hills Cop legend Axel Foley.
• Nine clips from Rebound. (Martin Lawrence as a big-time college coach who has a meltdown and ends up coaching junior high.)
• URL says it all: BlackSheepAncestors.com
• URL says it all: EntrancesToHell.com
• Other Crap is proud to do its part for humanity with this public service announcement: Vibrating thongs may be dangerous.
• Black Music Month 2005: President Bush's Remarks (Parody from Whitehouse.org)
• Weekly World News:HOW TO MAKE CHICKS THINK YOU'RE LOADED
• Letterman's Top Ten Signs You Are Headed For Summer School. "You identify more than half of the state capitals as 'Funkytown.'"
• Six Clips from The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D
• The Daily Show looks at the Supreme Court Medical Marijuana Decision
• Jon Stewart's interview with Steven Johnson. The author discusses his book, 'Everything Bad is Good for You.' (This is the guy who claims that popular culture is making us smarter.)
• The Daily Show's Ed Helms revisits the "smoker's Oscar Schindler."
• The Daily Show's Stephen Colbert tours an Abu crib that puts the 'phat' in fatwa.
• Teri Hatcher has won two awards at this year's Glamour Women of the Year awards.
• Russell Crowe says he lost it because of "the combination of jet lag, loneliness and adrenalin"
• Here are the pictures from Mr Spocks's new book. (As The Sun pointed out the other day, he is now specializing in Big Beautiful Woman.)
• Based on stock market value, Google is now the largest media corporation in the world.
• Is it possible to do threesomes within a Christian Marriage? Now this is the kind of theology I like! The same site also has an essay on "anal sex in accordance with God's will."
  • My interpretation of the Revised Standard Bible is that you can only have anal sex with people you do not like. I cite Joshua 10:19, where it is written, "pursue your enemies, fall upon their rear."
• This week's movies: Mr. and Mrs. Smith - 67% positive reviews.
  • This is the would-be blockbuster for the week. Pitt and Jolie are teamed as husband-and-wife assassins trying to kill one another.
  • Based on the early reviews, there is a big gap between the perception of the main critics and the minor ones. The big guys are standing at 20% positive, questioning the illogical premise (The New Yorker) and the weak conclusion (The Village Voice). The other critics are coming in at 80% positive, defending the film as a fun comedy that delivers the requisite number of laughs.
  • Pretty much everyone says that Vince Vaughn is entertaining as the best friend.
• This week's movies: High Tension - 67% positive reviews. French entry in the splatter/horror genre which had drawn such accolades as "haunting", "remarkable twist ending", and (my own personal favorite) "a gorehound's delight."
• This week's movies: The Honeymooners - not enough reviews for a score. The film has been kept a secret from reviewers. That is not likely to be a positive omen.
• This week's movies: The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3D - 33% positive reviews. A family film has come up in the Robert Rodriguez rotation again. The bad reviews aren't that bad, and the good reviews aren't that good. The basic consensus is: OK, but nothin' special.
• The Weekend Warrior's projections for this weekend. It's a very crowded field this week because the four major carry-overs are joined by four new releases, and two additional carry-overs will tarry on 2500 or more screens. The new entries: Mr and Mrs Smith (3200 screens), Shark Boy (2750), Honeymooners (2000), High Tension (1300). Warrior thinks Pitt and Jolie will rule them all with a box close to $40 million. Second place could go to any of five different films.
• The trailer for Lila Says
  • "Lila Says is based on a book that caused much controversy in France. Nineteen-year-old quiet poet Chimo (Mohammed Khouas) falls for Lila (Vahina Giacante), a gorgeous, blonde girl who just moved in with her creepy aunt in an Arab ghetto. One day Lila asks Chimo to look up her skirt -- if he can handle it. Meanwhile, Mouloud (Karim Benhadou), the loud leader of a rival gang, also sets his sights on Lila. Their game of sexual discovery leads to an unexpected look at tolerance, self-hatred, and machismo. It also questions the fantasy that permeates the film with fun and danger."
• The trailer for The Beat That My Heart Skipped
  • "In this follow-up to his critical smash 'Read My Lips,' Jacques Audiard has adapted and updated James Toback's cult 1978 noir 'Fingers' to come up with this memorable character study about a young man torn between a life of crime and classical music. 'The Beat That My Heart Skipped' premiered at Berlin 2005, where it played to enthusiastic audiences and won the Silver Bear for Best Score. Romain Duris ('L'Auberge Espagnol'), in a standout performance, portrays the 28 year-old Tom who seems destined to follow in his father's footsteps as a Parisian property shark working in a sleazy and sometimes brutal milieu. However, a chance encounter with his late mother's music agent rekindles a desire for a musical career and hope for a better life. Like 'Read My Lips,' Audiard has fused two unlikely worlds into a stunning vision featuring a menacing and dangerous Paris rarely seen on screen."
• Jon Stewart turns Gingrich into a Newt. (He didn't get better.)
• The Daily Show's "This Week in God"
• The Daily Show: "The E.U. is apparently not as 'U' as some 'E's hoped it would be."
• Senior Daily Show Jackologist Ed Helms reports on the attacko Jacko had on his backo.
• Taxi! Cubans Hail Ride To Florida In Converted Cab
• York hospital "has come up with an unusual remedy for an outbreak of violence and verbal abuse on staff - cardboard cut-out police officers." How long before the evildoers discover scissors?
• "There is a genetic basis to female orgasm." This is a spin-off of the commonly-held belief that you are less likely to have children if your parents did not.
• Paris Hilton flashes on European TV
• Gold Ringed Burberry Condoms
• Man With Blood-Stained Chainsaw Allowed to Enter U.S.
• Virtual Lite-Brite
• Something Awful picks the most overrated albums of all time
• RUSSELL CROWE INCIDENT BRINGS RENEWED CALL FOR PHONE CONTROL ... Phone-control Activists March on Washington
  • Davis Brogan, a powerful pro-phone lobbyist in Washington, held a press conference to deliver what he called an important message to Congress: “The fact is, phones don’t cut hotel desk clerks below the eye – Russell Crowe cuts hotel desk clerks below the eye.”
• "Almost a catfight," says Page Six, between Lohan and the Simpson sisters.
  • Lohan is upset at Ashlee Simpson for 'stealing' her ex-boyfriend, Wilmer Valderrama, last year. Simpson's sister Jessica was heard to say at another party later, "That [bleep]. If she comes here, I will kick her ass!"
  • (Don't you love how bleeping makes it seem even worse than it probably was? I suppose she said the almost-acceptable B-word, but as I read that, my mind automatically inserted the rather harsh C-word.)
  • As it turns out, they did run into one another again that night.
  • Jessica was furious because she says she "is a star and should be let in everywhere." (Invoking the Divine Right of Celebrities)
  • "She (Jessica) was screaming how she was going to kick her butt, and had to be separated from Lindsay." I just have one question. Who are the dumb fucks who separated these girls when they wanted to fight? I say let those bims get it on, and make sure the photogs have a good camera angle.
• Peta Chicks get naked and impersonate meat. And you just can't beat that.
• Pedro is back to his old self this season. Two hit complete game, 12Ks, now 7-1.
• Officer shoots man for painting "Police Academy Seven" on a pick-up truck.
• I did NOT make this up: British student arrested for calling a police horse "gay

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Today from the Ghost, an great batch of 'caps and vids featuring Jamie Lee Curtis' very sexy strip tease scene from the Arnold Schwarzenegger blockbuster, "True Lies".

• Jamie Lee Curtis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
• Jamie Lee Curtis zipped .wmvs (1, 2, 3)

Today it's an all "Hankster Light" day.

We kick it off with Mimi Rogers' full frontal (and rear) nude scene from "The Door in the Floor". What can you say about Mimi, no spring chicken but she still has it all.

• Mimi Rogers (1, 2)

Next we move on to a whole bunch of caps of Barbara Alyn Woods in the cable series "Eden". Now I have to tell you this woman is one of my favorites (In fact I even watched the TV series "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" just to see her!).

So here's Barbara in all kinda of scenes, underwear, cleavage, topless and love making. Note those nips in the last 2 or 3 how they stand at attention.

• Barbara Alyn Woods (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

RENEE PUTS ON POUNDS AGAIN
Kenny Wanted 30 Pounds - Renee Zellweger is putting on weight again, but not for another "Bridget Jones" sequel. Heat magazine reports that her new husband, country singer Kenny Chesny, is a Southern boy who likes women with a little meat on their bones. So as a belated wedding gift to him, the wafer-thin Renee is eating chocolate cheesecake and other goodies with a goal of putting on five pounds.

If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!