Sunday


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Halle Berry
  • Very clear (and large) bootlegs of her topless scene in "Swordfish". Thanks to Dark Knight Doug.

  • Tuna
    The last exposure from next Tuesday's DVD releases is from Daniela Doria, who shows breasts in two Lucio Fulci films. There are two Cheech and Chong films being released as well, but neither has exposure.

    "The Black Cat" (1980)

    The Black Cat, AKA Gatto nero, Il (1980), is loosely based on a Poe story of the same name. A man has psychic powers that he exercises with the help of his cat familiar. When he realizes that the cat is evil and killing people, he poisons and hangs the cat, but the cat comes back to life and controls him. Doria is half of a young couple murdered early in the film while hiding in a boat house to make out. Fulci is known for gore, but didn't have much in this film. He has a thing about eyes, and there are countless frames of closeups of eyes. Teh English village where it is set is picturesque.

    The film really didn't do anything for me. There was no suspense, no surprise, and a languid pace. Fulci's horror works were not received well in Italy, but he has found an audience among Euroshock fans in the US. There are no reviews by major critics. The few on-line reviews pretty much agree that this is not a very special film. IMDB readers have it at 4.3/10. I say D+, barely suitable for genre lovers.

  • Thumbnails

  • Daniela Doria (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    "The House by the Cemetery" (1981)

    The House by the Cemetery, or Quella villa accanto al cimitero (1981), lives up to Fulci's reputation for gore, and exhibits his fetish for showing eyes. Doria, this time, exposes her breasts then dies horribly before the opening credits.The story is very muddled and hard to follow, but is about a professor who goes to continue some historical research started by a colleague who recently committed suicide. He and his family move into a house next to a cemetery, and he discovers that his colleague had been looking into the identity of a Dr. Freudstein, who had supposedly been dead for a long time. People start disappearing, the family discovers a creepy basement under their house, and a grave stone for Dr. Freudstein in the hall floor, but never for a moment suspect that the good Dr. is still alive and living in the basement, and killing and carving people to sustain his life.

    It is every bit as lame as it sounds, and much of the film -- the part in the basement -- is way too dark. Still, it is a much better film than The Black Cat. IMDB readers have it at a respectable 6.6/10. If you are curious about Fulci's work, this is the one to rent. I say C -- good genre film but little or no crossover appeal.

  • Daniela Doria

    "10" Revisited once again

    The story of the party guests has proven to be perhaps more interesting than the film itself. Director Blake Edwards hired porn superstars for the orgy scenes figuring that they would be comfortable with the nudity. Thanks to Sleuth and many Funhouse members, nearly all have been identified, and the list reads like a Whose Who of porn. They were all put up in a hotel suite, and the party was so wild that their room service was cut off. At one point, Edwards directed one of the male stars to get up, meaning get out of the chair he was in, and the star misunderstood what was supposed to be up, and started spanking his monkey on set. When Dudley Moore related this story during a Playboy interview, his girlfriend, who was off camera, nearly stopped the interview she laughed so hard.

    Interesting to me were the number of people who recognized one of the women, as she was a personal favorite. No two people had the same favorite. I have labeled and renamed the images. Here are the stars:

    Constance Money (real name Susan Jensen), star of the classic "The Opening of Misty Beethoven."

    Annette Haven, a former nurses aide, who had one of the prettiest faces in porn. She refused to do facials.

    Dorothy LeMay

    Serena Blacquelord, usually billed as Serena

    Candida Royale, who started Femme, a studio devoted to producing films women would enjoy too. My favorite of the titles she released is called "Three Daughters." I read an interview where she said she had several more films in the cans, but there was no way to make a profit releasing them. When porn made the transition from film and adult theater releases to video, the gross/film was much lower, and the economics of creating a video version of her 35 mm films just did not make sense. This same change from film and theaters ended the golden age of porn. There was a time when it looked like porn and mainstream films might get close enough together to join hands. Some of these classics are becoming available on DVD, although I have no idea of the transfer quality. Titles available include:

    Behind the Green Door
    Debby Does Dallas (The Original)
    The Devil in Miss Jones
    Deep Throat

    If there is any interest, I will cap these.

    Again, thanks to everyone who provided information.

    By the way, the images in the Tuna archive have been updated.

  • Thumbnails

  • Annette Haven
  • Constance Money (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Group (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Serena (1, 2, 3)
  • Dorothy LeMay
  • Unknown (1, 2)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Still recovering from the flu or something, but I managed at least a little bit today. Here's the overview page for Swordfish 

    • Halle Berry. This may set a record for lowest tech picture ever. Elya and Katya were in Colorado with the digital camera, so I had to improvise and buy a disposable camera at a convenience store. Bad idea. Not only did I have to wait to get the pics developed, then scan them, but the quality was awful. I mean the picture really sucks. That's life. Luckily, a couple other guys did better versions in yesterday's edition.


    The erotic thriller, Kept, was previously reviewed by Tuna. He pointed out that it stinks as a thriller, because the director inadvertently revealed the killer. It really stinks as erotica because there are rarely any scenes where you can tell who's making love! Almost all the sex scenes are shot in body part close-ups. Yawn!

    • Michelle von Flotow

    • non-nude of P.J. Soles. If you are a fan of PJ's, from a couple decades back, you might know that she's been working again, on and off, and I thought you might be interested to see how she looks today. Actually, she turned into Alice from The Brady Bunch. She was 21 in Carrie, but Carrie was (gasp!) 25 years ago.


    I haven't written review pages yet for Re-Animator and One Tough Cop. Reanimator is the classic cheesy horror film featuring extensive nudity from pretty scream queen Barbara Crampton. (Doctor brings the dead back to love, sometimes in pieces). One Tough Cop is a straight-to-something film with the Blond Baldwin, memorable only for a very brief peek at Gina Gershon's butt cheek in #2. (#1 is a non-peek at her nipple)

    • Crampton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Gershon (1, 2)


    Various women who showed their stuff, or some portion thereof, at the MTV awards

    Graphic Response
  • Shannon Elizabeth, another look at her see-thru dress from the MTV Movie Awards.

  • Krista Errickson, nice topless scenes from "Mortal Passions" (1990).

  • Lesley Ann Warren very rare exposure from two movies not available on VHS or DVD. In "Treasure of the Yankee Zephyr" (1981), we see Lesley wearing very see-thru lingerie. In "Apology (1986), there is a brief breast sighting.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

  • Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    Susan Almgren Topless and 99.9% rear nude (very small g-string) scenes from her first movie, "Separate Vacations" (1986).

    Jackie Burroughs
    (1, 2, 3)

    Jackie is my multiple submission for grossest nude actress ever. Her skin is all leathery from sunbathing all the time in Mexico. She has been credited as an "old lady" in a 1974 movie but as late as 1987 she was still doing nude scenes.

  • Link #1 A Winter Tan (1987) (48 years old!)
  • Link #2 Monkeys in the Attic (1974)
  • Link #3 125 Rooms of Comfort (1974)

  • Kim Cayer Kim shows breasts and some bush as she's forced to take a bath in "Psycho Girls" (1986).

    Jennifer Dale
    (1, 2, 3)

    Jennifer is Cynthia Dale's older sister with the bigger boobs.
  • Link #1 Early in her career she's shaking her booty in "Stone Cold Dead" (1979)
  • Link #2 Then topless and almost showing bush in "Suzanne" (1980)
  • Link #3 and later, topless once again in "Separate Vacations" (1986).

  • Tennyson Loeh Tennyson (who is frequently topless in "Lady of the Lake" (1998)) is also topless in these 'caps from the indie "Short for Nothing" (1998).

    Jess Walton Showing all three B's in the Canadian indie, "Monkeys in the Attic" (1974).

    RDO
    Nicole Kidman
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Quick...name a movie with Billy Zane, a boat, and a redhead. That's right gang, he's made more than one. The one with Kidman of course is 1989's "Dead Calm". An enjoyable thriller with Zane playing a psycho who terrorizes Kidman and Sam Neil. Kidman shows a nice bit of bum, and some breast exposure.

    Amy Adamson
    (1, 2)

    Breast exposure in the Canadian movie "The Last Stop". I'm not sure who the dude in these 'caps is, but if his acting career isn't going so well, I'm sure he can pick up a few bucks winning Mickey Rourke look-a-like contests.

    Natalie Radford Topless in scenes from another movie on Dolph Lundgren's long list of crappy straight to video movies. This one is called "Agent Red" or "Captured".

    UC99
    Edwige Fenech
    (1, 2)

    In scenes from "5 bambole per la luna d'agosto" ("Five Dolls for an August Moon") (1970). #1 has some very nice bikini cleavage. #2 has Edwige topless.

    Cristel Braak Full frontal nudity by the Dutch actress in scenes from "Fabian" (1980).

    Loulu A crotch shot from something on German TV called "Celeb Slut 2001".

    Elke Jeinsen The former bunny-person topless on German TV.

    and ...
    Alison Eastwood Topless in a shower scene from "If You Only Knew" (2000). Vidcaps by HBS Grafix.

    Tonie Perensky Here she is in her best known role as the teacher who moonlights as a stripper in "Varsity Blues". Thanks again to HBS Grafix.

    Kelly Macdonald Topless in the tub scenes from the UK movie, "Some Voices" (2000). Vidcaps by Watty.

    Colleen Haskell From the newsstand...Colleen wearing a bikini top on the cover of a famous chick mag.

    Danielle Ouimet
    (1, 2, 3)

    From "Le Rouge aux lèvres" aka "Daughters of Darkness", a movie about 300 year old Lesbian Vampires! Nice topless 'caps by BFD.

    Andrea Rau
    (1, 2, 3)

    Also from "Daughters of Darkness" by BFD. #3 has the most nudity and some is even full frontal!

    The Funnies by Number 6
  • You Might Be a Yankee If...

    1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
    2) You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!
    3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
    4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.
    5) You don't know what a moon pie is.
    6) You've never had grain alcohol.
    7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra.
    8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
    9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
    10) You have no idea what a polecat is.
    11) Whenever someone tells an off*color joke about farm animals, it goes over your head.
    12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
    13) You don't have bangs.
    14) You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
    15) More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.
    16) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
    17) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
    18) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.
    19) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun*and*knife show.
    20) You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
    21) You don't have at least one can of WD*40 somewhere around the house.
    22) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on An on*ramp on the highway.
    23) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
    24) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.
    25) You call binoculars opera glasses.
    26) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
    27) You would never wear pink or an appliqued sweatshirt.
    28) You don't know what appliqued is.
    29) Most of your formative high school sexual experiences took place within the context of a football game.
    30) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob, Bubba Kay Bob, Bob Bob)
    31) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.
    32) You've never been to a craft show.
    33) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
    34) You can't do your laundry without quarters.
    35) None of your fur coats are homemade.


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