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TV Round-Up
The
premiere episode of Murder
in the First
features a bare butt
from Brianne
Davis
  
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* Yellow
asterisk:
funny (maybe).
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*
White
asterisk:
expanded
format.
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* Blue
asterisk: not
mine.
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No
asterisk: it
probably
sucks.
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OTHER
CRAP:
Catch
the deluxe
version of
Other Crap in
real time,
with all the
bells and
whistles, here.
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Alpha
House
(2014)
This is one of
what look to
be 100 movies
Mindy has made
in the past
twelve months.
She plays a
college
student, even
though I gotta
guess her
class
graduated in
the previous
decade.
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Ashley
Beckel (with Paula
Marcenaro Solinger and
future guest star Harry
Potter)
Brittany
Prevot
Roxy Rebel (aka
stuntbabe Roxanne
Rebel)
various: prostitute
group shot.
 
BONUSes:
Sandra Nicole Wilson:
modeling pics.
 
Sandra Nicole Wilson:
sexy in leotards in
dance video.
Paula Marcenaro
Solinger: bikini in
promo for the movie
"Velvet Vengeance".
Paula Marcenaro
Solinger: pokies in
tank top in demo
video.
Paula Marcenaro
Solinger: bikini in
pool video.
Ana Parks: cleavage in
instagram photos.
Roxy Rebel: cleavage
in facebook photo.
Ashley Beckel: bikini
on your left in
facebook photo.
Brittany Prevot:
bikini in instagram
photo.
Last
but not least
Elise Eberle in a
bikini in the short
"After School" (2009).
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Johnny's
comments:
Don't really watch a lot
of Dutch movies, let alone
cap them, but I caught The
Last Days of Emma Blank on
early morning TV a few
weeks back and liked it,
then I found out the
director had a new movie
out. Both are here today.
Just a
quick warning that the
Emma Blank videos come
with a Russian voices
overdubbed during the
dialogue. It was the
best version I can get
and there's not a lot of
it in the videos below,
but it's fine. The
Borgman videos are the
normal audio. All clips
are 1080p.
The
Last Days of Emma Blank
(2009)
De Laatste Dagen
van Emma Blank (The Last
Days of Emma Blank) is an
absurd comedy where a
family is waiting for the
death of the matriarch
Emma Blank (Marlies
Heuer). But, she's decided
to use her family as
forced help if they want
their inheritance. They do
so begrudgingly including
forcing her ex-husband
Haneveld (Gene Bervoets)
to sleep in her bed.
Things get more
frustrating for Emma's
daughter Gonnie (Eva van
de Wijdeven), sick of her
husband and being a slave,
takes a lover, much to the
chagrin of Theo (Alex van
Warmerdam, the
writer/director) who is
almost like a human dog
(and is treated as such)
and desperately wants to
rut Gonnie. Emma pushes
Gonnie too far and
announces to the family
that she lost all her
money and assets except
for the house and this
turns everyone against
Emma and her last days
will end not as she
expects them to. Fairly
funny satire about what
people will do for a
jackpot of money and what
happens when this
guarantee is taken from
them. It is wildly absurd,
sometimes even ridiculous
but there's plenty of
moments that make this
movie an oddball gem.
Borgman
(2013)
Borgman is a Grimm
fairy-tale like thriller
where vagabond Borgman
(Jan Bijvoet) and his two
disciples are flushed out
of the living in the
catacombs and are forced
to live elsewhere. Borgman
attempts to have a bath at
the home of Marina
(Hadewych Minis) and
Richard (Jeroen Perceval),
but Richard is having none
of that and bashes Borgman
to a bloody pulp in front
of Marina. This horrifies
her and she decides to let
him stay briefly in the
guest house without
telling Richard. But,
Borgman slowly infiltrates
the household, befriending
the three children and
Marina. He asks Marina
whether he can do one
thing and that's kill the
gardener, which he does
along with the gardener's
wife with the help of his
wife and daughter. He then
sets about becoming the
gardener for the family
and when he is, begins
digging a huge hole in the
backyard. Meanwhile, the
children are becoming very
sick and something weird
is happening the both
Richard, who has an X
marked on his back and the
nanny, Stine (Sara Hjort
Ditlevsen). Not to mention
the extremely violent
dreams Marina is having
while a completely naked
Borgman overlooks her.
What is Borgman and his
friends and family up to?
What the FUCK are they up
to...? A truly bizarre and
somewhat disturbing but
absurdly funny movie that
I don't quite have a full
handle of. At times it's
quite fascinating watching
Borgman weave his magic,
but there are times where
the movie is quite
disturbing like what is
happening to the kids and
the whole gardener plot
which ends in one of the
most troublingly funny
ways I've seen in a long
while. I'm assuming the
movie is something about
freeing people of their
programmed way of
thinking, but there a
quite a bit I'm still
struggling to understand.
But, I became more and
more fascinated the longer
the movie went. I'll have
to watch it again now...
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