The Raggedy Rawney (1988) is written and directed by Bob Hoskins, who also plays a major role. It is based on an old Rom gypsy legend, but brought to modern times. In an undisclosed country, a war is raging. Based on the weapons, I would say mid 20th century. We see a young conscript Dexter Fletcher) awaiting his first battle. The attack comes without warning, and moost of his platoon are killed. He decides to desert, but runs into the commanding officer. The officer starts to batter him, and he jabs a smoking piece of shrapnel in his face and runs.

We see him next at a farm. A little girl is playing dress-up, and puts a dress and makeup on him as well. As he leaves, he sees her entire family killed by the army for supposedly harboring deserters. He has lost his senses, and is completely out of his head when he runs into Zoë Nathenson, a gypsy girl. She holds him through the night. Still in the women's clothing, and wearing bizarre makeup, he runs into the gypsy king fishing. When he shows the gypsy where to catch fish, the gypsy decides he has a Rawney woman, a madwoman with magical powers, and brings "her" back to the clan. We learn that the army's method of recruiting is to search everywhere, and grab any young men for the army. The young gypsy men are always well hidden when they are on the move.

The Rawney, of course, becomes intimate with Zoë Nathenson, and brings the clan both good and bad luck. Nathenson shows breasts in a sex scene, and buns bathing. Veronica Clifford shows her left breast sleeping. IMDb readers have this at 5.1 of 10, however, the average score is 7.0. This is major chick flick material, with a 1.0 difference between male and female votes. There are two reviews linked at IMDb. A male reviewer called it a film with a lot of heart, but a failed attempt. The other reviewer, a woman, adored everything about it. I found much to like. The original sound track was excellent. The locations, all in the Czech Republic, were very attractive, and the glimpse of gypsy culture was, as always, interesting to me. However, while I am in favor of true love, and agree that war is complete stupidity, I found it a long and often tedious watch. This is a C-, with major chick flick alert.

Guinevere (1999)

I don't think I have to tell you much to let you know whether you want to watch this. You will probably know after the fist sentence of the next paragraph, the second at the latest. It's the kind of film that people love or hate, depending to a great degree on their age and gender.

A shy, socially uncomfortable young girl postpones her entry into Harvard so that she can learn about life from an experienced, world-weary older man. The tag line: "He was her first love... she was his last". He is a photographer, so he is capable of exposing her to certain types of experiences and people far outside the sphere of her upper-middle class family, which consists entirely of Harvard-trained lawyers who debate fine legal niceties at the dinner table. The photographer is also an alcoholic which, coupled with his age, assures that he will not be the long-term love of her life, but merely her designated tutor and coming-of-age experience.

You know from the first five minutes or so that the relationship is doomed. It would have been enough that show us that he drinks 24/7 and has one foot in the grave, but just to make sure we don't miss the point, the story also begins in the present with her voice-over narration, which assures us that their relationship began five years ago and is now over. Given that certainty, the only dramatic tension comes from a certain doubt about what effect the relationship will have on each of them. Well, unless you count the dramatic tension generated by the fact that he might die at any minute.

Despite my kidding about the lack of plot development and surprise, their relationship does have a proper ending that was both emotional and appropriate, and you may not be expecting it to end that way. It is sad, but also satisfying in a certain way. Unfortunately, the film drags on anti-climactically for much too long after that separation.

The woman trying to come of age is played by the ever-pasty, oh-so-vulnerable and preternaturally icy Sarah Polley. The world-weary Irish artist is played by ... gee, can you guess who might assay this role? It's that seething volcano of passion and emotion, Stephen Rea. Talk about a guy with only one facial expression! Rea must be the world-weariest of the world-weary actors, a man so jaded and unflappable that if the world were to end by nuclear war, you'd expect him to use a glowing radioactive rock to light his cigarette, then heave a practiced sigh.

Polley and Rea. Whoa - the sparks really fly when you rub those two together, eh?

Talk about low octane!

I'm not really the right guy to evaluate this kind of movie, but I guess it must be pretty decent, because if I had read my own description above, I would never have watched it in the first place, yet I managed to crawl through it without any coffee breaks or fast-forwarding. I didn't love it, but the point is that I didn't hate it, despite its complete lack of energy and a concept that didn't really interest me. The one thing that makes it work is that it was written and directed by a woman, and I think she told a story which was pretty damned close to the truth.

The truth - what a concept! Hollywood should try it.

• Sarah Polley (1, 2)

• Polley, Sandra Oh, and a third woman show their breasts in a photograph. (along with a full dressed Gina Gershon). This may or may not be them. If it is Polley, it's probably her lifetime nude scene. (Oh showed her breasts in Dancing at the Blue Iguana)

The Belly of an Architect (1987)

"Ars gratia artis."

Literally, art for the sake of art.

More expansively, art which is about art.

This film is essentially a lecture on architecture, focusing especially on Rome. At various times, the dialogue and images cover every period of Roman building design from Republican Rome to the present. Occasionally, some actors walk in front of the monuments and block our view. The most dramatic eclipses are provided by Brian Dennehy, who is actually larger than many of the celebrated buildings.

Some films allow us to determine whether critics have a bullshit detector. This is such a film, and Hal Hinson of the Washington Post sniffed it out instantly:

This is a gassy, overbearing, pretentious little bit of art-in-your face, from the director of "The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover," and it revisits some of the filmmaker's favorite places (the men's room, for example) and favorite themes (life as consumption and elimination). Most of the film's meanings are buried inside the artist's big, intellectually high-rolling metaphors.

In between all the pretty pictures and artistic conceits, during those moments when the actors block our view, there is about five minutes worth of plot, which goes something like this:

An American architect goes to Rome to create a tribute to an 18th century architect named Boullee. From the time he arrives, the American starts to experience many of the same problems that Boullee himself experienced throughout his life. He develops health problems, he can't seem to finish his projects, and his young wife starts fooling around with some sexy Italian dude. Then the American messes around with the Italian guy's sister, and starts to indulge in bizarre obsessions and delusions, like xeroxing postcards and imagining that his stomach problems are a result of his wife's efforts to poison him (ala the emperor Augustus and his wife Livia). Tragedy ensues.

Yadda, yadda, yadda. Overlay typical Peter Greenaway themes. Things rotting. Perfectly symmetrical compositions. Miscast actors. Hollow sound. Lots of erudition, but no emotional connection between the audience and the characters.

• Stefania Casini (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Chloe Webb. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) Either Chloe can't act at all or she was badly miscast in this film. I guess the latter, because she was quite effective as the ultra-bim in Sid and Nancy

OTHER CRAP:

• More nudity on Big Bruv. Shell mows the lawn in her birthday suit.
• Pistons Beat Lakers 88-80 in Game 4, take 3-1 lead.
• The 25 most expensive cities in the world. I'm not sure of their methodology, but it would have to be some pretty crazy math to make New York more expensive than Oslo. My dad visited me in Norway - going there had been a dream of his, and he loved it. One of my fondest memories is this exchange between us (which happened exactly as written here, with no exaggeration) :
  • Danny "Suits" Sparrow: Translate that for me
  • Scoopy: Three suits - $110
  • Suits: Geez, that's not a bad price, about like Kuppenheimer's, I should see if they have anything I like, and maybe buy three new suits.
  • Scoopy: Dad, that's not a clothing store. It's a dry cleaner.
• Archaeologists have unearthed a 5,000-year-old necropolis with 20 well-preserved tombs just outside Cairo
• In memory - Brother Ray sings his version of "America".
• Nazi Posters: 1933-1945.
• Courteney Cox finally has a baby. She turns 40 in two days, and has been trying to have a baby for years. She almost gave up on it when doctors told her it would require contact with David Arquette's sperm.
• The complete Newsweek article on the new Batman movie.
• Shrek has one of the best "fourth weekends" of all-time. It missed the top spot by only five million. Shrek 2 has now passed $350 million overall.
• Weekend Box Office - Potter easily holds on to #1, the green ogre just misses #2 by a hair.
• An advance look at Clinton's official Presidential portrait
• Kidman movie features a sex scene with a 10 year old boy. I don't know why people are so upset about this. It seems to me she's spent a good portion of her life training to have sex with tiny, underdeveloped, squeaky-voiced males.
• Oops! Director Moore says no Blair film. The film, entitled "Tossing America's Salad", or "The Blair Bitch Project", will not be made. Instead, Moore will concentrate on his dream of winning the decathlon in the 2008 Olympics.
• FilmJerk.com's Early Report for June 13, 2004
• Reagan died while the top obituary writers were at a convention.
  • That must be a helluva convention. I wanna party with those death dudes.
  • Gosh, too bad they were away from their desks - nobody even noticed that the Gipper died.
• 40 percent of NBA players have police records. Hey, that isn't bad. It means most of them are clean! Seriously, the author says, "Most of the player crimes involve violence against women."
• Severina Vuckovic porn video condensed to two minutes.
• A trailer fnad three clips from The Notebook: "Based on the acclaimed best seller by Nicholas Sparks and directed by Nick Cassavetes ('John Q'), 'The Notebook' is an epic love story starring Academy Award nominees James Garner, Gena Rowlands and Joan Allen opposite young breakout actors Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams. As a man (Garner) reads from a faded notebook to the woman (Rowlands) he regularly visits, his words bring to life the story of a couple (Gosling and McAdams) who are separated by World War II, then passionately reunited 7 years later, after they have taken different paths. Though her memory has faded, his words give her the chance to relive her turbulent youth and the unforgettable love they shared"
• Strip club shut down because it allowed nudity.
• Here is a second international trailer and a second clip from I, Robot
• - The Electras - John Kerry's rock & roll band - to have their album re-issued. Based on the sample, I won't be ordering a copy.
• Russian museum visitors admire Rasputin's penis. Oh, sure, you Americans are having a smug, condescending little laugh at the silly Russkies. I guess you've never been to the Bill Clinton Library.
• SYMBOLS.com -- encyclopedia of Western signs and ideograms
• Republicans blast Canadians as ‘ingrates’ for refusing to change their country name to Ronald Reagan Land.
• Astronomy pic: Both heaven and Earth erupt. In Iceland in 1991, the volcano Hekla erupted at the same time that auroras were visible overhead, creating a spectacle unmatched in nature.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

Patti

The ultimate Ronald Reagan tribute. His daughter in the buff. Shiloh posted the entire video (240 meg) at alt.binaries.multimedia.nude celebrities. Here are some highlights.

• Patti Davis (.avi) (.wmv)

• Patti Davis (.avi) (.wmv)

• Light lesbonics. Patti Davis and Monique Parent together. (.avi) (.wmv)

• Blindfolded threesome activity and additional lesbotronic activities. Patti Davis and Monique Parent and some dude. (.avi) (.wmv)

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

One hyphenated word.....Amber-mania!

I stayed up way past my bedtime and finnished converting the remaining Amber Smith clips into DIVx avis. All for a good cause :-)

In this batch there are a couple with Amber barely covered up (links 4 and 6). The rest have her topless at least or showing off her marvo-bum. Links 18 and 19 feature a scene from the DVD extras section.

Link #13 is the real winner: FULL FRONTAL! Life is so sweet.

'Course they could follow Amber around her house and film her eating breakfast, walking her dog, talking on the phone, and I would still pay to watch it!

• Amber Smith .avis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)

Show Me Yours: episode 3, In Sex We Trust
Episode about swinging. SNL's Czech Brothers would be impressed.

• Rachael Crawford: bra-less pokies.
• Katya Gardner: nude in double swinging session.
• Sarah Scotford: nude in same session, kissing Katya.
• unknown swingers: lesbian couple nude in swinging scene.

"Mocassin Flats"
A couple more spottings from the miniseries.

• Andrea Menard: brassiere making out with Michelle Thrush.
• Michelle Thrush: dorsal nudity having hetero sex.

"Hysteria"
From the same director of the Canadian nudie classic Habitat.

• Emmanuelle Vaugier: boobs and butt.
• Joanne Vannicola: downblouse.
• Jocelyne Zucco: mature actress topless.
• Lynn Snelling: topless of nymphomaniac.

"Love Disease"
Romance sex comedy with almost no nudity despite featuring the entire cast naked on the videobox.

• Fionnuala Jamison: braless spokies, felating banana.
• Hayley Verlyn: partial boob caught having sex.
• Laura Buckles: fully clothed sex, lesbian kiss.
• Michelle Strecker: partial boob making love.
• Talia: the only one topless is a porn actress.

"Tarzan, the Ape Man"
My first thought on seeing this 1981 remake of a remake: Why in hell didn't someone keep Bo Derek off the sauce during filming? Her eyes are bloodshot in every closeup.

The film tells the Tarzan story more from Jane's perspective that it's predecessors, but aside from showing off Bo's stuff, it brings nothing to the party. Not well done, not well acted, and only worthwhile to see Bo's bod.

Of course, Richard Harris fans may also enjoy his portrayal of Jane's Father, but even he couldn't save this movie, and Miles O'Keeffe really sucked as Tarzan. Where's Johnny Weissmuller or Lex Barker when you need 'em?

• Bo Derek

"Younger and Younger"
No visible nudity in Younger and Younger but there are lots of nice caps, most of them in Donald Sutherland's imagination. Lolita Davidovich appears naked in a hot tub but is too far away to see anything. Kim Little and Connie Danese show a bit of sex appeal.

• Lolita Davidovich (1, 2)
• Kim Little (1, 2)
• Connie Danese (1, 2, 3)

"The Others"
The Others is another teen flick. No nudity but Jennifer Aspen shows some pokies as she takes a dip and Devon Odessa goes swimming in her underwear.

• Jennifer Aspen (1, 2)
• Devon Odessa (1, 2)

"Suspicious Minds"
A bit of breast is showing in Suspicious Minds and it is supposed to be Jayne Heitmeyer. I notice in two other movies she has used a body double and this one is the same. What is so great about her that she can get away with it?

• Jayne Heitmeyer (1, 2, 3, 4)

"Thir13een Ghosts"
Shawna Loyer's complete nakedness in Thir13een Ghosts has appeared before in the FunHouse, although I wonder how much is prosthetic. Her breasts are certainly ugly enough. Shannon Elizabeth also shows some nice cleavage.

• Shawna Loyer (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Shannon Elizabeth (1, 2, 3)

"The Gong Show Movie"
As far as I know, we didn't see The Gong Show on television this side of the Pacific, although we had similar shows. The Gong Show Movie is about the TV show, although how much is fiction and how much is documentary I have no idea. Jaye P Morgan, who I gather was a resident judge, flashes her boobs. Very little was left to the imagination by Kitten Natividad who wore a very see-through body suit. She is not named in the credits but I'd recognise those jugs anywhere.

• Jaye P Morgan
• Kitten Natividad (1, 2, 3)

"The Desperadoes"
The Desperadoes is an above average western made in the 60s. Sylvia Syms takes a swim and we see a bit of a nip slip.

• Sylvia Syms (1, 2)

"Lucky/Chances"
Lucky/Chances is one of those Jackie Collins trashy telemovies that promise a lot in the nudity department but actually show very little. No nakedness but some sexy shots of Audrey Landers, Mary Frann, Nicolette Sheridan, Anne-Marie Johnson, Sandra Bullock, Debi A Monahan and Wanda De Jesus.

• Audrey Landers (1, 2)
• Mary Frann (1, 2)
• Nicolette Sheridan (1, 2)
• Anne-Marie Johnson (1, 2)
• Sandra Bullock
• Debi A Monahan
• Wanda De Jesus

"Dangerous Liaisons"
The most we get is pokies by Leelee Sobieski in my caps of Dangerous Liaisons.

• Leelee Sobieski (1, 2, 3)