Monday

Tuna
"Rub & Tug"

Rub & Tug (2002) is a Canadian comedy from first time director Soo Lyu. The story centers around a Rub & Tug (massage and hand job) parlor, where a new manager has been brought in. His main task, supposedly, is to keep the women from doing "full service," which would result in them all being busted, and his losing the business license. The new manager, Don McKeller, seems nice, naive and timid. The three regulars, Kira Clavell, Tara Spencer-Nairn and Lindy Booth, soon have him under their thumbs, or so they think. Clavell is an immigrant on a tourist visa,, working illegally, and needs to marry to stay in the country. Lindy Both is married, and hiding her occupation from her husband, and Spencer-Nairn has all her money in the stock market, and hopes to open her own parlor.

The nudity is from a new hire, played by Susanne Sutchey, who shows her breasts during the job interview. IMDB readers have this at 5.3 of 10. Although it was shot on digital video, it looked crisp, and had several funny moments. Director Lyu studied massage parlor girls for over a year before writing this script, so it is grounded in reality. I got several laughs, and found that I enjoyed the three female leads. This is a C.

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  • Susanne Sutchy (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    "Shattered"

    Shattered (1991) is impossible to say much at all about without writing a spoiler, and that would be a shame, as the ending caught me totally by surprise. I can say that it involves an accident, amnesia, and Greta Scacchi shows her breasts frequently throughout the film.

    IMDB readers have this at 6.4 of 10, with men and women scoring it equally. The DP was László Kovács, and it was shot in and around San Francisco, so the film looks great, and the MGM release has a pristine Widescreen transfer on one side, and a 4/3 on the other. Unfortunately, it is basically devoid of special features, and I would have liked a commentary on this one. C.

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  • Greta Scacchi (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Other crap:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Hankster
    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we look at 'Cruel Intentions 2".

    First up, twin sisters Annie & Alicia Sorell show off their boobs as the share a shower with Robin Dunne.

    • Annie & Alicia Sorell (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)


    Then it's Amy Adams. No nudity from Amy, but she still looked mighty sexy. Great legs.

    • Amy Adams (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    Warat (1999)
    This movie was pulled out of video stores in the Philippines because of rating problems concerning its sexual content (not to mention an on-screen penis mutilation). Filipina actress Joyce Jimenez shows some full frontal nudity and her natural D-cups. The DVD seems out of stock but the VCD is available at http://www.divisoria.net/ which specializes in exporting movies from the Philippines.

    • Joyce Jimenez (1, 2, 3, 4)


    Deadline (1981)
    Videonasty about a burnt out screewriter for horror movies even worse than this one. Various nudity including Judy Foster from the sex comedy classic One Night Only and Theresa Tova from the tv series E.N.G. Former MuchMusic VJ Ziggy Lorenc has a bit part as a prostitute who keeps her top on but tosses her cookies.

    • Sharon Masters: cleavage.
    • Judy Foster: topless as the head bitch.
    • Theresa Tova: partial breast flash.
    • Brandy: full frontal in shower by whatever her last name is.
    • Various: Ziggy Lorenc is the one in the red dress. The other two who took their tops off are either Julianne Rice, Jayne Andrew or Zenoabia.


    Ultimate Desires (1992) (aka Beyond the Silhouette)
    Early white-slavery film directed by Lloyd Simandl but before he discovered the writing genius of Chris Hyde. This direct-to-video is most noted for showing Babylon 5's Liz Lochle dancing around in her underwear.

    • Tracy Scoggins: Babylon 5 babe topless and showing butt.
    • Suzy Joachim: mega cleavage by this Canadian actress.
    • Laloni: breasts by this one-timer one-namer.
    • Various: no nudity. The redhead with the big boobs is Robyn Kelly from the skin classic Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders.


    Goofballs (1987)
    Hopelessly dated comedy about searching for hidden gold on a golf resort while fighting arab terrorists.

    • Cynthia Belliveau: full dorsal nudity plus side of boob. The one in red sitting beside Cynthia in the first frame is Laura Robinson who's wearing more than a nun in the arctic.
    • Unknown: sexy in bikini, could be Laura.
    • Ilana Linden: sexy as Arab femme fatima fatale.


    Devotion (1995)
    Straight lesbian drama rated R for "strong sexuality" despite little sex or nudity.

    • Jan Derbyshire: almost full frontal. She looks like k.d. lang's older brother.
    • Kate Twa: brassiere and cleavage making out with Jan Derbyshire.
    • Cindy Girling: not nude but also making out with Jan Derbyshire.


    Misc. stuff

    Vejiita
    'Caps and comments by Vejiita:

    Today we have the ladies from the Spanish movie "Lisístrata" (2002). Based on the comic book from German writer Ralf König, "Lisístrata" is about the war betwen the Trojans and Spartans. The women are tired of the war and decide to stop having sex until the war ends. Hepatitus, leader of the gay community, takes advantage of this and disguising himself as a Doctor and proposes "Obligatory Homosexuality" which is accepted by the chiefs of both ends. Very funny moments in this movie, but it has something missing to be a good movie.

    Maribel Verdú, Cristina Solá, Gloria Cano and Sonia Ferrer are in different states of undress.