Evil Come, Evil Go

Grindhouse movies are a treasure trove of things not yet captured in which some films and some actresses stand out for all the good reasons whereas other films and other actresses are just ghastly.  That is the difference between Terror at Orgy Castle and Evil Come, Evil Go.  Let us start with the sublime and move to the hideous.

Terror At Orgy Castle is 2/3rds truth in advertising.  It is set in a castle and oh my yes there is an orgy or two, or maybe three, depending on your threshold for orginess - I mean three gals and one guy in a bed counts as an orgy, even if one of the gals is asleep, can we agree on that?  But so far as terror is concerned, I am here to tell you there is none.  Perfect scene to illustrate: newly married gal and newly married guy decide they have had enough of the shenanigans at the castle and they are going to scoot but as they descend the stairs to reach the front door they see several folks in some religious ritual and more out of resignation than fear they set down their bags and join right in.  They ain't scared and you ain't scared for them.   So, let's recap: a castle and at least one orgy but nothing on the board for the terror team.  Who cares?  Not me, because the longest stretch devoid of nekkid babes is the first five minutes.  After that, you can count on one or two, oft times three and sometimes four clothing-free gals cavorting about.  Not talking topless - we are talking naked… as jaybirds.  The women are more than sorta attractive too.  Best of the bunch is the tall, athletic and blond Jane Tsentas.  She had quite the career in grindhouse movies and sometimes wandered into a hardcore film but only as a gal who does gals.  An example is the Imposter (collage and clip included).  In many other films found in the Funhouse back issues you can find Jane in all states of undress.  A frequent partner of hers at the Orgy Castle is a gal who calls herself Linda Marie.  She is rounder and softer than Jane but not a living male soul I know would turn her down.  The director whipped out the procto-cam to allow some lingering looks at Linda's shapely behind, for which we say thank you.   Still, blondes rule and sure enough in one of the clips you will see a guy presented with both Jane and Linda stark naked and reaching for him and who does he set his sights on immediately?  The blonde, of course.  So what is a brunette's mating call?  All the blondes have left!  Third gal is Bambi Allen, toward the end of her career and looking a bit over-fed.  She runs the castle and so gets to direct the proceedings when orgy time comes around. Fourth woman - she gets topless only - is the slim and exotic Jacqueline Lissette, doing a table dance at the beginning of the orgy to get everyone all warmed up.  Last woman who has been identified from other work she's done is Tricia Opal.  She did a porn movie or two in her day from the titles of the movies on her resume. and with a caboose like hers I can see why.  And then there is the actress who plays one of the newlyweds.  She goes by Lisa in the movie and, because no one has yet to identify from work she did before or after - the movie has no credits - I have labeled her clips and collages with that name.  This woman has a most impressive body and so I suspect she did other things because sure as shootin' I would hire her if the job required clothing removal.  So those are the gals and they get nekkid the way people in Chicago vote, which is to say early and often.  One last comment about the many, long sport-humping scenes at the Orgy Castle.  There are frames here and there to suggest some of the humping and sucking was taken quite seriously by the actors and actresses.  Lisa, Jane and Tricia all look as though one guy or another gained access to one of the caves of infinite bliss.

On the other side of the grindhouse equation is Evil Come, Evil Go.  It is a wretchedly vile piece of rotting skunk carcass churned up by a seventeen wheeler and scattered across a four-lane Texas highway in the middle of summer. It sucks.  it blows.  I hated every fucking minute of it even though I FFed my way through most of it.  Jane Tsentas is in it again, playing the former lesbian mate of Sandra Henderson, and they both get necked - Jane in a short scene and Sandra repeatedly - but while Jane is a looker, Sandra is (shall we say?) beefy.  Depending on the street, Sandra could be in the top three best-looking women but only if the street had exactly two other women.  Why she was cast and Jane wasn't in a part that required lots of exposure is a mystery second only to the Bermuda Triangle.  Cleo O'Hara shows off her T and A in a scene that I could have missed and been happy for the rest of my life.  Jacqueline Lissette and Margot Devietian do some very light (JL) or some very heavy (MD) sport-humpin' but the director filmed the action in the shade and used grainy film stock so the whole thing just blows huge chunks.  As a result, I made none of the usual, feeble attempts at artistry.  Stuck the frames together, slapped on a border and labeled the collage - not worth my time doing anything else.  The rotten state of exposure matches the movie perfectly, for rotten it is from start to finish.  It sails right past idiotic and reprehensible and lands at atrocious and hideous.  No religious fanatic am I but when two characters slaughter one person after another while singing gospel hymns or preaching in a southern accent - not because anyone wants to make a point but because this is an easy stereotype - you can count me offended.  If I knew who the writer and director were I would kick them in the balls the first time I saw and perhaps then we could call it even. 

Yesterday: Evil Come, Evil Go.

Today: Terror at Orgy Castle

Bambi Allen




Jacqueline Lissette



Lisa




Jane Tsentas




Linda Marie




Jane Tsentas and Linda Marie together