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Tuesday
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| Web
and Celeb |
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Boris
Yeltsin presented Clinton with a gift
last week - all the Russian intelligence
files concerning the Kennedy
assassination. After reviewing them
carefully, Clinton reported to aides with
a heavy heart that he now knew for
certain something he always suspected but
wished wasn't true. Kennedy bagged a lot
more interns that he did.
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The
prez reported that he and Hillary will
not be living separately. They will both
stay in the White House until his term
ends, then will both move to New York if
Hillary wins that seat. Of course Hillary
will move to Manhattan, and Clinton to
Attica. Clinton also pointed out that
he'll be spending quite a bit of time in
Little Rock "working on his
library", and hiring some really
cute librarians.
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McDonald's
and KFC sales are slumping in China in
the wake of recent anti-American
backlash, opening up a great opportunity
for the top native fast food chain,
"Baked Pig Face". I can't
understand why they haven't tried to
market that concept outside of China. I'd
support them just to hear their jingle on
TV.
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The
Top Commercial Tag Lines for "Baked Pig
Face"
- You
deserve some face today.
- It
takes two hands to handle a pig face.
Maybe more, depending on the size of the
pig.
- Your
choice, assorted, or all-snout
- Free
copy of Lord of the Flies with every pig
face.
- Tired
of boring, BROILED pig face?
- Hi, Tom
Arnold here. Y'know, nobody knows more
about pig face than I do, and ...
- Careful,
honey. Don't sit on my face.
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| The
Realist
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Several and
various from The Realist today. The first
movie is one that I saw first-run, about
25-30 years ago. The Lickerish Quartet.
It's a strange soft-core porn film from
Radley Metzger. Probably the most
philosophical porn film ever made, and
one of the best filmed. The essence of
the story is an illusion/reality
conflict, where the characters in the
movie comment upon characters in another
movie which they are watching - or maybe
they themselves are those characters. You
have to give Metzger credit. Most porno
filmmakers couldn't spell Pirandello, and
he not only quotes him, but does a fairly
effective job at mimicking him. The film
was set in a lavish European castle in
the mountains, and contains some of the
most stunning images ever captured in a
sex film. The head tootsie is the
beautiful Silvana Venturelli
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Here's the
only scene I can actually remember.
Venturelli and the owner of the castle
romp around on the floor of his library,
and the floor is tiled with dictionary
entries - but only the naughty words.
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Here's the
prelude to the library scene. The male
lead, Frank Wolff, committed suicide not
long after this film was released. I
don't remember what his suicide was
about, but I don't think it was related
to the movie. Perhaps he just looked in a
mirror and saw this haircut.
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Here's
Venturelli in an outdoor scene with the
actor who played the son of the other
guy.
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and one more
with the bad hair dude
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the other
female star of the movie was Erika
Remberg
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Alas. Adrian
Lyme makes beautiful movies, but they are
not very capture-friendly. He loves to
bathe scenes in blue or violet light, and
he loves a very soft focus. This is
Elizabeth Pena in Jacob's Ladder. This
movie relies on kind of a trick ending,
and yet it is even better when you watch
it again knowing the answer, because you
see all the attention to detail that Lyne
put into it. It is basically an updating
of Ambrose Bierce's famous short story,
An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, from
the Civil War to the Vietnam War, but it
has its own character independent of the
core story. It features one of the best
child performances I've ever seen, from a
pre-fame Macauley Culkin, and some really
memorable characters created by Tim
Robbins and Danny Aiello. Possibly the
most underrated film ever.
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Elizabeth
Pena in Jacob's Ladder. The basic story
has been brought to the sceen many times.
I suppose the most famous is an episode
of Twilight Zone. In fact, the
highest-rated episode of all time.
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Elizabeth
Pena in Jacob's Ladder. If you have a
dark monitor, you won't be able to see a
thing here. If you have your settings in
good shape, you'll get to see the one and
only look of Elizabeth Pena's pubes of
which I am aware.
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| Assorted |
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Recent
picture of Mariah Carey in a bikini. As
you can see, she may be a little softer
than before, but whatever weight she
gained doesn't seem to explain the bosom.
One reader wrote to tell me that a New
York radio ststion announced that she has
had implants, although I have not read
this from any source that is completely
reliable.
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speaking of
Sweden, here's the new 18 year old
modeling sensation Rebecca Gunnarson,
pretty much stark naked
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another
frontal peek at Rebecca Gunnarson
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an oldie -
Crow's caps of Mimi Craven in Dogwatch
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Dawn
Radenbaugh in "Facade", from
Dann.
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Jeannie Mae
Millar in "Facade", from Dann
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Paige Adams
in "Facade", from Dann
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Hudson Leick,
the evil Calisto herself, in
"Something about Sex". This
movie is also known as Denial. Captures
from Graphic Response.
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from
Schatten: Leigh Taylor-Young in The
Horsemen
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