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OOPS: Some of you may have failed two download two or
more of Brainscan's Melissa Leo
collages from Streetwalkin in yesterday's page. This happened
because of a coding error which I made. (Sorry.) Here are all four
again, in case you missed them.
(Don't download them if you were successful yesterday. They are
the same pictures.)
The Man-Eater (1999)
You can pick up the info at the Movie House.
The captures are in yesterday's page.
Here
is a mammoth zipped .avi (about 50 meg) encompassing
most of the Loredana Cannata
nudity.
Get details of the two-for-one promo by clicking on the
picture below.
Other Crap:
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Mischa Barton Bikini
Pictures
(meh!)
To remind you that
time and tide wait for no woman:
It was only a short time
ago that Nicole Kidman was a major babe.
Contreras makes it 16 in
a row.
RapidShare clip of Marion
Cotillard in Mary
Letterman's
"Top Ten Other Changes In
The United States Army"
Marshall Cheerleader In
Tawdry Sex Claims
PCWorld evaluated 17
different services for online file storage.
10 Reasons Why High
Definition DVD Formats Have Already Failed
Weekly World News:
"BELCHING SWORD SWALLOWER ACCIDENTALLY IMPALES
AUDIENCE MEMBER"
Colbert makes fun of Dr.
Stephen Hawking
Colbert admits he is to
blame for our poor performance in the World
Cup
The Daily Show looks back
at the brightest moments of the World Cup
The Daily Show looks at
how Butte, Montana has turned a polluted pit
into a tourist attraction.
The Daily Show evaluates
the USA's World Cup performance.
David Letterman's
farewell to Bill Gates
"Huff" has been Snuffed
- Apu's show got the
awards, but never the ratings
Saddam ends hunger strike
after missing one meal
- Little did he know
that they were going to set him free if he
didn't eat a balanced breakfast!
- One meal? I think
John Goodman could have gone longer than
that.
- And the meal he
missed was lunch. I'm not sure whether he
was making a point or the prison cafeteria
was just serving Sloppy Joes again
The North American
trailer for Marie Antoinette
The trailer for This Film
is Not Yet Rated
- This film has
attitude, and I like it!
- "'This Film Is Not
Yet Rated' is a documentary from Academy
Award-nominated director Kirby Dick and
producer Eddie Schmidt - a breakthrough
investigation into the MPAA film ratings
system and its profound effect on American
culture."
TV producer Aaron
Spelling dies at 83
- "Spelling set a
record of producing more than 3,000 TV
shows."
Opie and Anthony make
their comeback
Good news: fat guys are
in style.
- So grab that
Snickers, put your feet up, and cancel that
raquetball game, because the Jack Black look
is what the ladies go for.
- Yeah, right.
"Welcome to The Origami
Underground! It is the place to find erotic
origami on the web."
URL says it all:
despair.com
Blu-ray bows with titles,
hardware
- I'm sorta the
classic "early adopter" on entertainment
technology, but I'm moving very cautiously
on high definition DVD because of this
format war. I don't want to maintain two new
sets of DVD players, and neither format is
available yet as a computer drive. In fact,
if Dell or some other neutral player had a
desktop with both drives built-in, I'd
probably give it a shot, but no such
creature exists.
"We're starting to fear
that when Katherine McPhee sings at Katie and
Tom's wedding she might disappear and be iced
down as a back up to Katie."
"The Disney Corporation
backed down yesterday after originally
threatening copyright litigation against
grieving parents who put Winnie the Pooh on
their stillborn baby's headstone."
An (incredibly bad) new
clip from Adam Sandler's Click
KERRY SETS FIRM TIMETABLE
FOR MAKING UP HIS MIND ABOUT WAR
... Will Decide about Iraq "Once and for All"
by Year's End. Or next June at the latest.
Ex-Pink Floyd frontman
demands Israel tear down 'wall'
- If it was a drummer
or a rhythm guitarist, probably not so much
impact, but a frontman? You bet they'll tear
that wall down! It'll probably be down by
the time you read this.
Jon Stewart asks Anderson
Cooper about his new book 'Dispatches From the
Edge.'
Jon Stewart explains why
Klimpt's painting is worth $135 million
The Daily Show looks at
the video game violence controversy
The Daily Show looks at
the sale of a Klimpt painting for $135 million
The Daily Show looks at
the minimum wage.
Britney - To Dye For!
... the pop princess shows up with jet-black
hair. |
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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Private Resort (1985)
Private Resort is about two teenage boys (Johnny Depp in his second movie,
Rob Morrow in his first) staying at an exclusive private Florida resort for
the weekend. Depp wants to get laid, Morrow wants to find true love. Neither
counts on jewel thieves, over-zealous house detectives, Nazi hotel barbers, a
cock-teasing Baba Rama Yama worshiper, Andrew Dice Clay as a womanizing Alpha
male and various other misadventures.
Morrow falls instantly in love with waitress Emily Longstreth. In Depp's
attempt to get lucky, he gets Morrow into one scrape after another. Hector
Elizondo plays "The Maestro," a man who charms wealthy widows and then robs
them. In this case, Dody Goodman is his target. She proves to be all he can
handle with her kung fu skills and a liberal supply of Quaaludes. She is the
grandmother of Hilary Shapiro (the Baba Yaba Rana girl), and the designated
sexpot, Karyn O'Bryan. Also watch for Christopher Wynne as a Spicoli
character.
Much of the humor is physical. In one scene, an ugly woman is convinced
that the house detective is about to molest her, so she sics her two small,
yappy dogs on him. That, in itself, is funny, but when he snaps them with a
used condom, it gets me rolling on the floor every time. In fact, the first
time I saw this film, without benefit of expert critics telling me how bad it
was, I laughed so hard it took 10 minutes to recover enough to to rewind the
tape and watch it again the same night.
In terms of nudity, it is T & A from Hilary Shapiro, Leslie Easterbrook and
Vickie Benson, breasts and/or buns from several unknowns, and a long bra and
panties scene with Lisa London.
IMDb readers say 5.6, but IMDb has lowered the score to 4.2. This does mark
a gain of a full point over when I reviewed the VHS version. Ebert hated it,
and Maltin called it a bomb. I recall seeing a Siskel Ebert episode where they
were decrying the glut of bad teen sex movies where the adults were stupid and
the kids knew everything. They were specifically talking about Breakfast Club,
Secret Admirer and Sixteen Candles. Given my opinion of those three films, it
is not at all surprising that I also disagree with them on Private Resort. In
fact, critics should not even attempt to review genres they hate. Teen sex
comedies are my sort of film. This one, for me, ranks right up there with Hot
Dog - The Movie, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast
Club, Secret Admirer, Porky's, and several others. It has an excellent cast,
lots of nudity, Rob Morrow in drag, what I found to be hilarious comedy
timing, and believable motives from all of the characters. The newly released
DVD version has no features, but sports a very clean transfer. This is a clear
C+. If you like these, you will love this particular one. If you don't, go
rewatch Citizen Freaking Kane and leave me alone.
Scoop's note:
You readers may not have thought of this, because
it's not top of mind stuff, but Private Resort also represents a landmark in
male nudity. It features Johnny Depp naked, and Depp has gone on to become
about the most idolized male star since Clark Fucking Gable. Rob Morrow also
went on to become at least a B-level star, and he got naked as well.
Curiously, although Depp and Morrow hit the big time,
their success fever seems to have been a disease that only affected the male
members of the cast. All of the women remained enmired in genre movies,
although some had lengthy careers. (Leslie Easterbrook is still at it, still
working regularly and getting decent-sized roles. Lisa London and Hilary
Shapiro are still givin' it the old college try.)
| Leslie Easterbrook |
     
     
     
   
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| Vickie Benson
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| Lisa London |
     
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| Hilary Shapiro |
     
     
     
   
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| Karyn O'Brien |
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| unknowns |
     
    
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Scoop's note: OZ is back in action, and will have a large
contribution in tomorrow's page. Today he sent in some miscellaneous comments.
Scoop:
I've been away a few days and have only just caught up with the FH. Last
Saturday, you asked about Playboy's Night Affairs. I think the IMDB name is
Women: Stories of Passion. Somewhere in the archives (I think) there are caps
of Beth Broderick in Playboy's Night Affairs,
also by Scanman. They are the same as caps attributed to Beth in a Women :
Stories of Passion episode called The Bitter and the Sweet. I've attached the
relevant caps.
Sally Kirkland (mentioned on Saturday) is listed as being in Women : Stories
of Passion but I have no caps to compare with Scanman's caps from Night
Affairs.
I have no idea why there was a name change.
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Dann reports on Nude per l'assassino:
This is my kind of murder mystery: 1975's Italian trash-film Strip Nude
for Your Killer (Nude per l'assassino) may not be the best mystery ever
made, but the film is surprisingly well done, and loaded with nudity.
The plot, probably the weakest part of the
movie, is that a woman dies during an abortion. She is a model, and soon,
the doctor who botched the operation, and co-workers from the model
agency, come down with fatal cases of stabbed-to-death. The stabber is a
helmet-wearing motorcyclist, and since the police are clueless, a young
female photographer (Edwige Fenech) decides to do some sleuthing,
aided by her boyfriend, also a photographer at the agency.
A well-done production, dubbed in English,
and very enjoyable despite a fairly predictable ending. Unless you hate
beautiful women naked, you'll probably like this one.
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| Edwige Fenech |
Edna Schurer |
Femi Benussi |
Unknown |
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Pat's comments in yellow...
The New York Post reports that two researchers from Columbia Business School
discovered that you will be happier in the long run if you give in to
temptation. They said people think it's hard to be good, but actually, most
people over-control and find it harder to indulge their desires. Their study
found that when someone bought something expensive, ate sweets or slept with
someone hot, they felt guilty at first. But as time passed, the guilt quickly
dissipated. Conversely, people who denied themselves tended to regret it more
and more. By the time people reached 80, the things they most regretted weren't
their "sins," but the times they ordered salad instead of dessert, or said no to
sex.
* It's a Catch-22...What if ordering the salad and saying
no to the sex
was helped you LIVE to 80?
Researchers for the Oxford University Press compiled a list of the most
commonly-used nouns in English. The top 10, from 1 to 10, were "time, person,
year, way, day, thing, man, world, life, hand." Some observations: people are
obsessed with "time," which was #1, with "year" at #3, "day" at #5 and "week" at
#17. "Work" was #16, while "rest" and "play" didn't make the top 100. "War"
ranked 49th, but "peace" wasn't in the top 100. As much as people obsess about
it, "money" only ranked #65. And "Man" was #7, while "child" was #12, and
"woman" way down at #14.
* Mostly one-syllable words and "peace" wasn't among them? ... They must've
studied George W. Bush.
A 15-nation Pew Research poll found that Muslims view Americans and
Europeans as selfish, immoral and greedy, while Americans and Europeans
view Muslims as arrogant, violent and intolerant
* At
last! We're
finally starting to understand each other!
Thursday, in the first sale of late artist Andy Warhol's personal
effects, his famous silver wig that reportedly attached to his head via a
snap embedded in his scalp sold for $10,800 * Who'd pay
that much for a bad snap-on toupee? My money's on Shatner.
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