Anarchy TV (1997) is the comedy that Scoopy found humorless. I found it an uneven spoof with more genuine laughs than most Hollywood comedies, which all goes to prove that humor is totally subjective. An oddball assortment of liberals are running a public access station, when one of the women, Jessica Hecht, angers her crooked right wing preacher father enough that he buys the station, locks them out, and converts the station to religious programming. The ousted liberals take over the station to broadcast their important messages, and nobody is watching until a hooker, Tamayo Otsuki, that they met in jail suggests naked programming. This, of course, gets people watching, and brings out an army of assorted protesters and the media.

While the film blasted the religious right, it also showed the foibles of the liberals. In my favorite moment fro the film, someone calls the police complaining that there are naked people on there TV. The cop says, "Why don't you change the channel?" I have never heard my view of censorship put so clearly and briefly before. If you don't want to see something, don't watch it. It is currently at 4.3 at IMDB. Based on the comments at IMDB, I am in the minority on this one, but many of the events in this film have parallels in my own life. I suppose the proper score is C-.

Updates:

New volumes: Lauren Hutton, Olivia Hussey, Lori Heuring, Katherine Heigl, Jennifer Love Hewitt

Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003):

Before the film even begins, with the title alone, the film manages to sully the memory of two comedies. Not only does it destroy whatever franchise value Dumb and Dumber might have had, but it also makes an unworthy attempt to bathe in the glow of When Harry Met Sally.

I grant you that Dumb and Dumber was not the ideal movie upon which to build a franchise. The script was inconsistent, and the characters were really too damned silly to carry a film in the first place. The film worked fairly well, but only because of the unique blend of sentiment and lowbrow humor produced by the Farrelly Brothers and Jim Carrey, making it possible to identify with the characters while you were laughing at them. Without Jim and the Farrellys, there wasn't much hope for the series, but this prequel was worse than could have been expected.

The kid who plays Lloyd does a pretty good impersonation of Jim Carrey, and I may have laughed a couple of times.

• For example, Harry was home schooled, and was held back three years. "My mom was tough, but fair.
• At one point, Lloyd brushes away his inability to get a girlfriend by saying, "girlfriends are for fags".

OK, those lines aren't great, but they required some wit, so they represented the rare comic oasis in this desert of slapstick. Most of the humor consists of stuff like a brain-dead football player walking into (and through) things, and a guy saying, over and over again, "My house is covered with shit. There's shit everywhere". He must have said that about a half dozen times, but the filmmakers obviously thought the gag had even more legs to it, because the same guy later babbled, "My car is covered with shit. There's shit everywhere."

Too bad. I think they could have had some fun with these characters.

For example, the script places Harry and Lloyd in a bogus "special ed" class taught by the lunch lady. (It's a scam concocted by the principal to merit a big grant, which he intends to embezzle.) Imagine if President Bush had visited the class on a day when they acted extra stupid, and the Prez had then denied the principal a federal grant, saying, "You can't fool me. That can't really be a special ed class. Those guys are way too smart."

Now that might have been funny. Especially if the film had ended with George W, Lloyd, and Harry playing tag in the Oval Office, destroying priceless artifacts while arguing about take-backs and do-overs.

Unfortunately, the actual humor mainly consisted mainly of two seventeen year olds playing tag by themselves and acting like four year olds, which was funny for, oh, about a nanosecond of the 82 minutes it lasted.

Based on this description, this film is a D. Skip it. Even the people who liked the original hated this one. I like lowbrow comedies. Not this one.

• Cheri Oteri

Dark Blue (2002):

Dark Blue's director, Ron Shelton, is best known for his sports films, especially the classic Bull Durham, which he directed from his own script, which was in turn based on his own experiences in the minor leagues. It is not always remembered that Shelton wrote the part of Crash Davis of the Durham Bulls for his buddy, Kurt Russell, who was actually a minor leaguer himself for a few years. Russell, like his dad Bing Russell, was both a professional ball player and a professional actor, so he seemed to be born to play "Crash". The studio overrode Shelton's casting and insisted on Kevin Costner, so Russell missed out on the role of a lifetime, in which he would almost have been playing himself.

Shelton and Russell remained friends, and they are teamed again in Dark Blue, with Shelton directing and Russell in another meaty starring role.

Dark Blue is a cop drama based on a James Ellroy story. Another Ellroy yarn formed the basis for L.A. Confidential, and the Dark Blue story follows the same trail which L.A. Confidential blazed. The characters are familiar. Only the names have been changed, as they used to say at the end of another media offering which featured the L.A. Police. There is the tough guy who does what is necessary (Russell Crowe = Kurt Russell), the more idealistic guy who wants to do the right thing, the corrupt Irish captain, and some of the same sleazebags. Many story elements are also similar - the police captain taking over the rackets, the cops framing the wrong guys for a major crime to cover up one of the captain's dirty deeds, the lead cop being set up by the captain for a bloody ambush, and so forth. Actually, the era has changed as well as the names. L.A. Confidential told the 1950's version of the story, while Dark Blue is the 1990's update.

Dark Blue is a good movie, but not on the level of L.A. Confidential. While the cop portion of the story is about equivalent to the earlier movie, the difference between the two films is that the cop portion is nearly 100% of Dark Blue's content. This film doesn't have much to lift it above the level of a routine cop flick. It is missing all the humor, the inside Hollywood sleaze, the lookalike scam, the mob connections, and the stylistic flair of the L.A. Confidential. It is also missing the mystery/thriller element. In L.A. Confidential, the storyline revealed the captain's connection very slowly, so the audience had the additional pleasure of a mystery to solve. Dark Blue basically throws everything on the table early in the film, and lets the characters march to their predetermined destinations.

Although the presentation is quite competent, and the story held my interest, the first 90 minutes of Dark Blue is quite familiar and routine. The last quarter adds a little topspin. The final chase and denouement takes place during the disturbances which followed the Rodney King verdict, and Kurt Russell is trapped deep within a poor black neighborhood. Russell must avoid the violence-bent rioters while he tries to collar the baddies in a landscape of fires, shattered shop windows, and overturned cars, with looters scurrying everywhere.

Based on this description, this film is a C+. It is a good cop flick with dialogue which sounds like real people talking. Unlike its spiritual predecessor, L.A. Confidential, it does not have a lot of pizzazz to create crossover appeal for wider audiences

• Laila Hu
• Michael Michele. I'm not sure what this is - maybe panties - but it's a pretty cool "upskirt". (1, 2)

OTHER CRAP:

• Uncle Sammy Sosa tells the story of Harry Potter and the Corked Broom
• Avril Lavigne moons the crowd at the Much Music Video Awards
• The Sun now calls her "Big Bones Zeta Jones". One of the other English tabs calls her "Eata Jones"
• some new state mottos
• Reuters says that US Troops have captured Iraqi Info Guy, aka Baghdad Bob, aka Comical Ali. Info Guy says, "I have not been captured because there are no American troops in Iraq, but even if there were they could not capture me because I am dead."
• Playboy has a free sample of some nudity from slimmed-down former fattie Carnie Wilson. I think she looks great, although her hands are still kinda chubby and ugly-lookin'.
• Miramax to remake Damn Yankees and Guys and Dolls

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Uncle Scoopy recently reviewed "Stripped to Kill" (1987). The silliness I have to add comes in two's:

The movie continues one tradition and begins another. A less generous soul would call them cliches:

1) Where twins exist, one of them is evil.
2) When strippers are killed, the murderer is a woman, or in this case an actress playing a stripper and her transexual brother.

The exposure is plentiful and comes from two types of actresses:

1) Those called upon to do some real acting, who then just sorta stand around or stumble around or pour liquids over themselves whilst on stage.
2) Those who strip and do just about nothing else in the movie. These are obviously clothing removal engineers of the professional variety. They work the brass pole nicely and give up would have been major gynocam stuff if they hadn't been wearing undies on stage.

Both of these actress types are further divided into two groups:

1) Those who appeared in more than just this fine film.
2) Those whose only cinematic appearance was right 'cheer.

The major kick-ass, wunnerful exposure comes from veteran actress, Kay Lenz. First saw her in the movie, House, long ago and really liked what there was to see. She's appeared in few dozen movies and lots of tv things, gave up the goodies in at least four appearances.

Kay has just a small frame she is properly called delicate. But on that frame is or was a terrific collection of soft tissue in all the right places. The woman was built. So I capped the beejeebers out of her scenes. Twelves collages that break down like this:

• See-thru and bum views in black lingerie (1, 2, 3)
• Topless view when the black bra comes off
• Legs-spread view in white lingerie
• Topless view when the white bra comes off (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
• Bum view in a different set of white lingerie

B movie babes with some other credits include Debra Lamb, Deborah Nasser and Michelle Foreman. Debra plays an amateur dancer and doesn't do much to suggest she ever had a night job. The other two women, however, dance so well there seems little doubt they had previous experience in the clothing removal arts. Deborah's five collages show off her terrific, recreational body: boobs in 1 and 4, fantasto-bum in 2-5. Michelle gives us a leg-spreading performance and shows of her mighty-fines in all three collages.

• Debra Lamb
• Deborah Nasser (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Michelle Foreman (1, 2, 3)

One-time-only strippers are Carlye Byron and Tracey Crowder. Carlye shows breasts and bum, Tracey shows off hooters only.

• Carlye Byron (1, 2)
• Tracey Crowder

And the real enigma here is Pia Kamakahi. In the right light she has Jaclyn Smith-like features, but unlike Ms. Smith she had a killer bod and (more importantly) was willing to show off major parts of it. She played both a stripper and the evil twin stripper killer. Not a bad job of acting. But, gentlemen, enjoy her four topless collages stripping and sorta sport-humpin' her girlfriend, because this appears to be the only thing she ever did in front of a movie camera. Merd. I woulda put her in every movie that required or even allowed a nekkid babe. The remake of Citizen Kane, for example.

• Pia Kamakahi (1, 2, 3, 4)

First up today more from "Watchful Eye" as we look at Melissa Barmes baring her body and pretty much showing us all she has to offer.

• Melissa Barnes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

The second part of our offering was done for fun as the old time machine takes us back to Television's "Three's Company" and what this old leg lover calls some classic Cheese cake shot of Joyce De Witt.

• Joyce DeWitt (1, 2, 3)