Thursday

Tuna
"Fruits of Passion"

Fruits of Passion (1981) was one of my earlier projects. This is what I said at the time.

"It appears to be a forgotten film. There are no reviews anywhere on the net that I could find, and there are only 13 votes at IMDB. Directed by noted Japanese director Shuji Terayama, it is a sequel to the Story of O and stars Klaus Kinsky as Sir Stephan, Isabelle Illiers in her debut as "O" and Arielle Dombastle as another of Sir Stephan's girlfriends. O is taken to Hong Kong and made to work in a brothel as the next step in her education. Meanwhile, the Boxer Rebellion is starting around her, and Stephan is ignoring her more and more. As I am recommending this one, especially in light of the recently released DVD version, I won't write a spoiler.

"This film has less discipline and S & M than the first O story, and is mostly about submission with a little bondage thrown in. The locations are spectacular (which is the main reason I threw in the unknowns), and the photography creates some memorable images. The acting is good, the pace could have been a little faster, and the plot is a little thin, but this is erotica we are talking about with major stars. Anchor Bay did a good job on the DVD transfer, and included a mini-bio of Kinsky."

A few more have discovered it since my last writing, but the reviews now listed at IMDB are not favorable. The current rating is 5.4 based on 35 votes. The story isn't as good as I thought the first time through, but the imagery and nudity were even better than I remembered. This film is a C as erotica, but would be lower as a drama.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Arielle Dombasle (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)

  • Isabelle Illiers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50)

  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Intacto (2001):

    Intacto is a European production which will soon be remade by an American studio, in the tradition of other innovative recent European films like Abre Los Ojos (remade as Vanilla Sky) and Insomnia (remade as Insomnia).

    Intacto takes place in its own universe, which is very similar to ours except that luck doesn't even out over the long run. Luck is a spiritual and physical commodity, like a special talent, or seventh sense. It is a quality we possess, like intelligence. People who are exceptionally lucky are always lucky, just as an intelligent person today will still be intelligent tomorrow. The only time the luck of the gifted fails them is when they are matched against someone who has even more luck, in a situation in which only one of them can win. The theology of chance also includes these credos: (1) someone's luck can be changed by physical touch (2) very gifted people may steal all of another's luck.

    A luck cult exists. The luckiest people in the world meet to test themselves against each other in contests of pure chance. For example, at the entry level of the luck competitions, three people sit in a room with molasses on their hair, and the winner is the one who attracts a giant insect to his or her head. At an intermediate level, people run through a forest blindfolded, going as fast as they can until all but one have run into trees. At the highest level of competition, two people play Russian Roulette with five bullets in the six chambers.  The stakes of these games range from personal possessions at the lowest levels, to the stolen luck of other people in the mid-levels, all the way to "everything" in the Russian Roulette game. If you lose that last test, you lose your life, your possessions, and whatever else you wager, like the luck of a loved one.

    The cult of luck includes people like a bullfighter who never received a single scratch in a long career. The master of luck, the "fucking king of fate" as another character says, is a concentration camp survivor (Max Von Sydow) who was the one and only Jew left alive when the allies overran his camp. If his luck needed to be attested further, one need only look at his octogenarian life despite a long history of playing the five bullet version of Russian Roulette, in which he always goes first. Since he keeps winning other people's luck, he just keeps getting luckier and luckier.

    Four decades after The Seventh Seal, Van Sydow is still playing with Death, still winning.

    The entire cult of luck is aware of Van Sydow's undefeated record, and few are confident enough to challenge him to a face-to-face Death Game, but some others in the cult take on a scouting role - remaining eternally vigilant in the search for a protege - a prospective newcomer who might be introduced to the cult, and might some day become the new king of destiny, splitting the proceeds with the scout who discovered him. One scout thinks he has the right man, the sole survivor of an airline crash who walked away virtually unharmed despite the fact that everyone else aboard was fried to a crisp. (It sounds a lot like Unbreakable at this point, but the connection is merely superficial.)

    The storyline of the movie traces the intersecting destinies of the newcomer and the "fucking king of fate", during which time the young man rises through the gaming ranks in pursuit of the king, while he himself is pursued by an intrepid policewoman, and perhaps betrayed by his own scout.

    How will it end? This is a movie worth seeing, so you'll get no more hints from me. I don't often like strange films, but this one impressed the hell out of me, and I hope Hollywood does it justice on the remake.

    I hope Van Sydow lives long enough to reprise his role for Hollywood, because he maximized the impact of his limited screen time by turning in one of the most remarkable performances of his already impressive career. He is one of the most adaptable actors around. As he has aged, he's done whatever was necessary to stay at the top of his profession, never repeating or trying to recapture what he used to do when he was young, but constantly reinventing himself at a new stage, as if he were not one man, but several who shared the same body at different times.

    Based on this description, this film is a C+. Will you like it? Look at the description above, and be aware that it is spooky and ethereal, and is a very arty and peculiar movie which takes place in an alternate universe, like David Cronenberg's Crash. It is mostly in Spanish, although French and English are also spoken from time to time. It is humorless. Most of you have lost interest by now. Are you still interested? If so, you are going to love it, because it is unique and, in many ways, a somber masterpiece of startling originality, and the game playing is a fitting postmodern equivalent to Van Sydow's chess game with death in The Seventh Seal.

    • Mónica López (1, 2)

     

    Sangre Eterna (2002):

    "Eternal Blood" is a role-playing game, kind of a vampire version of Dungeons and Dragons, which is played by the Goths in the university at Santiago, Chile.

    We see many vampirical things happen, but those turn out to be adventures spun by the players during the game. Then one of the Goths begins to suspect that his colleagues are not just a bunch of kids who fantasize about being vampires. He secretly witnesses some events which lead him to suspect that some of the players really are vampires. Fearing for his life, he steels himself for battle against the forces of darkness, and starts killing his friends, or at least trying to.

    So the mystery, such as it is, is this:

    1. Is he killing vampires, or is he a deeply deluded druggie killing his friends?

    2. Did any of the vampire adventures actually happen, or were they simply more visualizations of events created within the game?

    I know that I , for one, didn't care about either question..

    This Chilean genre film is not especially interesting, but it does try to conceive of some new vampire mythology, and this leads to some pretty cool splatter scenes. For example, the vampires don't bite one's neck. They pull off one's head with their super-strength, then hold the head aloft and drink from the dripping blood.

    You have a choice of Spanish with English subtitles or English dubbing. Neither is adequate. The English dubbed dialogue is more accurate and flavorful, but the actual dubbing is incompetently performed by non-actors. The subtitled English, on the other hand, is a watered-down version of what they are actually saying. The most fun can be had by watching it dubbed in English with English subtitles, because its like watching a Tarantino film translated into Disneyspeak.  A character will say something like, "that's totally fucked", and the subtitles will say something like, "gosh, that isn't good".

    It's a classic C- movie by our rating system. If you like vampire films, this adds some new concepts with some interesting visualizations. If you don't like vampire genre films, it's another one with some heavy-handed rapid editing and an oppressive heavy metal score, in which the creative visuals don't offer enough of what you are looking for in a film. Plus you either have to watch it in Spanish or poorly-dubbed English.

    • Blanca Lewin (1, 2, 3)

     

    OTHER CRAP:


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    First up, Graphic gives us a very detailed look at Kristn Davis in bed from Sunday night's season premier of "Sex and the City". After reviewing the 'caps, I agree with Graphic, like just a shadow, and not any kind of nip slip. Getting back to the collages...here are scenes from the 80's classic, "The Beastmaster".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Helvete
    Aída Gómez
    (1, 2)

    Topless and full frontal scenes in scenes from the Spanish movie "Salomé" (2002).

    Amanda Peet Topless in scenes from "Igby Goes Down".

    Anna Galiena
    (1, 2, 3)

    Toplessness, frontal and rear nudity from the Tino Brass movie "Senso '45" (2002).

    Dominique Blanc
    (1, 2)

    Topless in scenes from "Milou en mai" (1989).

    Mélanie Leray Brief breast view from "Marion et son tuteur" (2000).

    Dann
    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "The Notorious Cleopatra"
    Basically, this 1970 sexplotation movie tells the story of Antony and Cleopatra, pretty much as you've always heard it. The difference in this version is they left in the nudity and sex, not a bad thing to leave in. :-)

    More fun than the history channel!

    Variety
    Linda Fiorentino
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Señor Skin 'caps from a Euro-version of the movie "Jade" (1995). Check out link #4 for a brief, open leg shot with plenty of bush.

    Kristin Proctor Gorgeous toplessness in a scene from the HBO series "The Wire".

    Nikki Cox Thanks to Gman for these 'caps of Cox looking hot in a bikini from the long awaited Mr. Show movie "Run Ronnie Run!". For the Mr. Show fans, look for the feature to come out on DVD September 16 and the complete 3rd season on August 26.

    Avril Lavigne
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The Canadian "punk" pop starlet showing some carpenter crack at the Much Music awards.

    Anna Galiena
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    The Italian actress shows breasts, bum and bush in more scenes from the Tinto Brass movie "Senso '45" (2002).

    Mail Bag
    Hey Scoop,

    In yesterday's Fun House you mentioned Justine Bateman as "finally" getting topless. However, I'm positive she appeared topless in a cable TV movie a few years ago called "Another Woman".

    -B


    Scoop's response:

    I have never heard of that nude scene, and no other sources mention it either.

    1. It is not listed as a Bateman nude scene in The Bare Facts
    2. It is not mentioned in any of the Bateman articles in the back issues of Celebrity Sleuth
    3. It is not listed in the Bateman skin scenes on Mr Skin's site, and there are no caps from this film on that site or any other celeb site that I checked.
    4. It is not listed on the Celebrity Nudity Database site.

    I would have ordered the tape, but the movie is not available anywhere, at least not so far as I can see, so I guess we may have a long wait to see those scenes.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    BAGHDAD BOB (POSSIBLY) CAPTURED
    What Roadblock? - The London Daily Mirror reports that Iraq's Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, better known as Baghdad Bob or Comical Ali, was captured at a roadblock in Baghdad. An anonymous coalition source said, "He has some serious talking to do...this time." There was no other confirmation of the story.

  • Well, Baghdad Bob confirmed it, but nobody believed him.
  • He's being questioned by Americans in Baghdad, but all he'll tell them is that there ARE no Americans in Baghdad.
  • Just in time: Bush needs a new spokesman!


    DO-IT-YOURSELF FUNERALS AT HOME
    Weekend At Bernie's 3 - Jeri Lyons of Sebastopol, California, has a non-profit group called Final Passages that helps give people a cheaper alternative to funerals, so you don't burden your family. She teaches seminars on how to hold a funeral at home, including the legalities of transporting a corpse home from a morgue, how to bathe a corpse, how to build a coffin, and how to keep a body cool. Tip: if the body will be at home for over 24 hours, you'll probably need to keep it on ice, although some people have improvised and used frozen vegetables.

  • It's also a great way to defrost them for the wake.
  • If you have a big backyard barbecue, you can cook the vegetables and do the cremation at the same time.
  • This is LESS of a burden?!
  • In bathing a corpse, lesson one is "Don't use the jacuzzi."
  • If you can't afford to build a coffin, try duct tape and two Hefty bags.


    LACK OF NUDE BALLET DANCERS IS FALSE ADVERTISING
    Schwantz Lake - Britain's Advertising Standards Authority upheld a complaint by an anonymous ticket buyer who was upset that the visiting Phoenix Dance Theater performed in clothes. Their poster featured an arty shot of a male and female dancer leaping through the air nude. The ASA ruled that the ad was misleading, and people who saw it were likely to expect to see naked dancers.

  • So now the dancers have to perform naked.
  • That explains why a ballet performance was standing room only.
  • They were also mislead by the headline: "Come See Our 'Coppelia!'"
  • If male ballet dancers had to leap around nude, every show would be "The Nutcracker."


    PLAYBOY PLAYMATES REFLECT THE ECONOMY
    Men Are So Practical! - Psychologists at Mercyhurst College in Erie, Pennsylvania, studied Playboy Playmates of the Year from 1960 to 2000, to see if there's a link between economic conditions and the women readers prefer. They found that when there's a bull market and times are good, men go for softer, more vulnerable women they could have fun with. But when times are hard, they like strong-looking women, perhaps because they want someone who can take care of them and herself. For instance, in 1993, one of the worst years for the economy, the Playmate of the Year was big-boned Anna Nicole Smith.

  • She can take care of herself, all right...She can lasso a billionaire and smother him to death.
  • For Anna Nicole, the next decade was a period of severe inflation.
  • When times are bad, men want a woman who's already paid for her own breast implants.
  • Men want softer women during a bull market because soft women will take more bull.
  • This sounds like a feeble excuse for a bunch of dweeb researchers to get paid to look at naked women.


    SNOOP DUMPS WILD WHITE GIRLS
    As Long As The Money's Green - Rapper Snoop Dogg announced that he will not host any more "Girls Gone Wild" videos -- not because the owners are in legal trouble, but because they have only white girls, "and that...ain't cool, because white girls ain't the only ho's that get wild." Snoop said black women are "complaining to me like crazy" because they think he likes the white girls, but "I don't, I just did that for the money." Snoop says he plans to start his own similar series, to "bring some flava to the table."

  • It's nice to know that he respects all girls equally.
  • It's about time someone gave black girls the chance to prove that they, too, can be wild, drunken ho's!
  • As part of the Supreme Court's new affirmative action ruling, at least 15 percent of all drunken college coeds must be black.


    SPIKE JONES JR. WHACKS SPIKE LEE
    Feedlebaum TV - Spike Jones Jr., son of the famous comedy bandleader, filed papers opposing Spike Lee's attempts to prevent TNN from renaming itself "Spike TV," and saying it's "frightening" that Lee claims he's the sole owner of the name "Spike." He's working on a movie about his dad and wants to call it "Spike."

  • Spike will spike that.
  • He could call it "Jones"...Nobody else has that name.
  • Spike Jones Jr. should sue Spike Lee for using rap in his movies, because his dad invented the idea of crossing music with gunfire.