Friday

Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

• Netscape 6.2.2 is available free for download or on CD.
• MSIE 6.0 is available free.

Happy Campers (2001) was written and directed by Daniel Waters, who also did the cult favorite Heathers. He started off great, with the campers arriving on the busses. We meet several promising characters, including the Nazi-like director, the councilors, and the campers. The first day and night are still strong, setting up the probably romantic parings, and including some pretty funny material, then it suddenly deteriorates into a study of teen sexuality and romance. The councilors are having sex, and the campers are watching and wishing. They hit the director with a lightening bolt to get him out of the way (a big mistake, costing them many chances at humor), and the kids run wild. The problem is, nobody old enough to see this R rated film will have the slightest interest in this teenage soap. There is no insight, no revelations, no great truths, and precious little humor in most of the film.

Had they stuck to a comedy, with lots of bawdy physical humor, sight gags, practical jokes, etc, this would have been watchable. Much of the scenery was great, and the breast exposure from James King was especially nicely photographed. The film would probably be of interest to young adolescents, and might deliver a few useful revelations for that audience, but no American kid will ever get to see it with an R rating. C-.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Marsha Mason a very nice topless appearance in scenes from "The Image" (1990). She was in her late 40's at the time, and not looking too shabby.

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

An indie "horror"/psychological thriller starring Scott Evil, a Joaquin Phoenix look-alike, and cult movie actor Jeffrey Combs (the "Re-Animator" series).

First time director Jeremy Kasten definitely has a good visual style. The sets, lighting, and camera work were all very nice. My only real complaint technically would be some of the quick cuts and shaky camera work used to create certain moods throughout the film. Plus, the nude scenes were not filmed very well. You can tell this guy watched a lot of Skinemax while researching how to shoot a sex scene. Complete with circling the actors with a steady cam while they have sex on a desk, to fade ins and outs to accelerate time, change positions etc.

The plot:
The basics: a dude wakes up from a coma after 4 years and has little memory of his previous life. He's told that before the coma, he killed his fiancée, he was committed to a psych-ward, and they performed brain surgery on him to 'calm his behavior'. Now as part of his therapy he is sent to the "House of Love", a special treatment center for mentally ill patients where they can live more like a family. Or is it (insert dum-dum-dum music here).

This is where the film begins to lose it. The gimmick is that we are not supposed to know what is real and what is in the guy's head. Those movies can be fun for the audience as we try to figure it all out. But in this case, they flat out tell the secret of the hero's reality questions after about 20 minutes. They then spend the rest of the movie showing the hero piecing it together. Although now that we know, who cares.

The second part of the plot is about a book of magical powers. Only the hero knows where it is, and his doctor wants it. They reveal the story of the book, all of the answers about the hero's mental illness, what's up with the psycho doctor, etc. all within the last 20 minutes. Just as they reach the climax where all will be revealed and everything comes full circle...the movie ends. No closure, no final thought. Nothin' but credits. Let's just hope they are not trying to make a sequel.

The nudity:
Beth Bates and Shannon Hart Cleary have the honors. Full frontal nudity and toplessness for both, with some rear views for Bates.

The caps:
Not the greatest. In every nude scene the lighting changed often, and there was a lot of fast motion by both performers and camera crew.

• Thumbnail Preview
• Thumbnail Preview

• Beth Bates (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

• Shannon Hart Cleary (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

More madness & mayhem from "Bloodsucking Freaks". 3 Unknowns suffer a variety of fates. Everything from having their teeth yanked out, to being a human dartboard, to a little game of stretch the girl.

• Unknown dental patient (breasts and bush) (1, 2, 3)

• Unknown human dartboard (breasts and bum)

• Unknown on the rack (topless and full frontal) (1, 2, 3)

Here are the highlights:

Swain is seen here in a two piece, gettin' a little lesbo love, and getting ready to get it on with some dude. King has some serious see-thru sightings and a topless scene with her breasts painted.

The actress labeled as Carol Holt in the Hollywood Passions caps I sent yesterday is none other than Carol Hoyt. Nekkid caps of her in Midnight Confessions by Uco and Illegal Entry by Nicnac have been sent into the Funhouse in the past couple of years. Carol also played characters in a couple of kiddie shows, Power Rangers Turbo and Micronots. IMDB lists Hollywood Passions as Hollywood Dreams: Tale 2. Just took a little time to figger out all this stuff.

-Brainscan

LITTLE BOY SHREDS HIS DAD'S EVIL MONEY
Have A Kid, And Your Money Goes Out The Window - The Il Nuovo website reports that a five-year-old boy in Mirabella Imbaccari, Sicily, was told by his grandfather that money was not important in life, and that loving each other was much more important. So the boy found his father's wallet, removed about $1,400 (US) from it, shredded the banknotes and threw the pieces out the window.