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Tuna
"Castle Erotica"

Castle Erotica (2001) part 2. As promised, here are the other three actresses from Castle Erotica. None of the three had character names, and were all guests looking for true love, but finding lots of sex. All three do girl-girl and hetero. Loredana Bontempi Shows all three Bs, as does Silvia Gogovacinschi (barely) and Evita Pascual.

For those who missed the full review last night, here is the highlight.

Castle Erotica (2001) AKA Castle Eros, is supposed to be a soft-core, but has clear penetration, making it a hard-core. More about that later. Like many in this genre, it has a premise, rather than a plot, but, in this case, the premise was entertaining enough that I didn't miss a real plot. Two cousins visit Italy for summer vacation. One is studious and quiet, and wants to see the sights. The other is interested in wine, men and song, and wants to keep a video diary of her exploits. The two end up taking a job as domestic help in a castle run as an inn that promises their guests true love. The castle was built by a prince for the gypsy woman he loved but was not allowed to marry. He was killed in battle, and she died of a broken heart. Since, the castle has been said to have magic, and has been run by the woman's descendants. Larranaga leaves the castle in the hands of the two girls, who discover that they can make people have sex by putting paper doll figures together in a room of a mock-up of the castle in Larranaga's bedroom.

With that premise, there are endless sex possibilities, and they use most of them.This, despite having nearly no plot, and almost constant sex, is still a quick watch, with lots of beautiful women in nice settings doing enough interesting things that the sex scenes never become tedious. The DVD is a disappointing 4/3 transfer that is oversaturated, but was correctable. C+.

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  • Evita Pascual (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
  • Loredana Bontempi (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Silvia Gogovacinschi (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    "Irma Vep"

    Irma Vep (1996) was requested by a reader based on the fact that Arsinee Khanjian (Mrs. Atom Egoyan) does a full-frontal. Since I am a huge Egoyan fan, I was happy to do it. I could be wrong, but I think she has played some part in every one of his films. It is also nice to see a mature actress willing to bare all. Unfortunately, the film was, for me, nearly unwatchable. It is supposed to be a send-up of the movie industry. A declining French director decides to remake Louis Feuillade's silent serial "Les Vampires." He hires Maggie Cheung for the lead. She arrives in Paris fresh from a Chopsake film wrap, and encounters a film in serious trouble, where everyone, except her, speaks French. As things go from bad to worse, the director has a nervous breakdown. Much of the running time is spent showing the grainy B & W film they are making, and it is painfully bad.

    IMDB readers have this at 6.8 of 10. For an, as always, insightful review from someone who liked it 3 1/2 stars worth, read what James Berardinelli has to say. The film got 100% positive reviews from the top critics, and 92% overall at Rotten Tomatoes. Most of the humor was lost on me, more than half of the film was in French, and the transfer was poor to very poor. I was glad to see it end. Even though it is not a film for everyone, it has an audience, and is properly graded C. I might have enjoyed it more with a good transfer.

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  • Arsinee Khanjian (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)


    Jr's Comments:
    I agree with Tuna on a couple of points

    1.Berardinelli wrote a good review from the perspective of someone who enjoyed the film.
    2.This movie is unwatchable.

    This movie truly is art house crap. Just add gay cowboys eating pudding and you'd have the world biggest hit among the black turtle neck wearing film school crowd. As Tuna noted...it is supposed to be a send-up of the movie industry. However, it is supposed to be a send up of the FRENCH movie industry. Honestly, need I say more.

    French art house flicks in general already have a very limited audience. To make a satire about the making of a bad French film limits your audience to a level where you can count ticket sales with one hand, and do your beatnick snaps instead of clapping with the other. Seriously...avoid it at all costs.

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Yo, dudes, I'm on summer vacation. Will be back to work in a fortnight, but in the meantime, I'll be sending in a movie report now and then about the stuff now in the theaters, and maybe some "other crap".

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Julie Andrews in her one and only famous topless scene from the Blake Edwards movie "S.O.B." (1981).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Snowblind
    Laure Marsac
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    The French actress seen topless and full frontal playing the sacrifice victim in "Interview with the Vampire". aka "Interview with bad wig makers".

    Caroline Williams
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Daisy Dukes and upskrit views from "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" (1986).

    On a side note...for some reason, the powers that be in Hollywood have decided that we the viewing audience not only wants to see ANOTHER remake of the 1974 cult slasher flick, but we want to see a less gory version staring a bunch of WB actors. The good news is that is will star Jessica Biel. But I'll put my money on it being released as PG-13.

    Seriously, what's the point?

  • 1.The genre has been done to death (in a manner of speaking)
  • 2.There have already been 2 crappy sequels and one really crappy "Next Generation" remake.
  • 3.Why on earth would anyone make a slasher flick with LESS violence and NO nudity!!??"

  • Stacy Valentine Breasts, bum, and a little bush. Here is the porn star in the 1999 documentary, "The Girl Next Door".

    Variety
    Winona Ryder
    (1, 2)

    Somehow the new Adam Sandler movie "Mr. Deeds" took the number 1 spot at the box office this past weekend, earning $37 million (only 2 million less than "Little Nicky"'s total US box office. Even more scary is that Sandler's paychecks are now $20 million plus!

    Anywho...here are a few production stills with Ryder looking pretty darn good.

    Jennifer Aniston A new scan by nmd of the "Friends" star wearing a wife-beater. Looks like at some point this was supposed to be an all-wet, see-thru pose. However, while her hair and legs are wet, and you can see her panties through the shirt, her chest and tummy are mysteriously not see-thru and look dry. The magic of airbrushing I guess.

    Monica Bellucci Posing in lingerie for a Greek magazine, with just a hint of nipple visible.

    Tiffani-Amber Thiessen The best thing about "The Ladies Man"...her cleavage.

    Brenda Vaccaro Breast exposure in Oscar winning film "Midnight Cowboy" (1969).

    Sarah Michelle Gellar
    (1, 2)

    Buffy in the August issue of Esquire. No skin, but a nice addition to any SMG image collection.

    Susanne Lothar
    (1, 2)

    Topless and a few near misses down below in a love from "Geschäfte" (1994), by DeVo. Susanne recently co-starred in "La Pianiste" which won best actor, best actress and Grand Prize of the Jury at Cannes.

    Celeb News
  • Jennifer Aniston settles topless-pictures lawsuit. Basically from the way this has played out, looks like it really was her after all!

    As a refresher...here was the image in question.

  • DVD Stuff
    Spaz's list of DVD resources.

    France Region 2: www.dvdshoppingcenter.com Site is in French. The first order will require additional proof that you used a valid credit card, then they are fast and efficient. Offers the most unadulterated release of Histoire d'O (1975) starring Corrine Clery.

    UK Region 2: www.bensonsworld.co.uk Another UK site. Similar selection to http://www.blackstar.co.uk Best titles are "White Slave Lovers" (Fawnia Mondey), Honest (Appleton sisters) still awaiting a US release.

    UK Region 2: www.amazon.co.uk Haven't used it but has the exact same interface as AMAZON.COM and you don't need to set up another Amazon account if you already have one with Amazon.com.

    Canadian Region 1: www.chapters.ca Another Canadian website that offers Canadian-only DVD releases not available in the US. Best titles are Dark Confessions (Kate Rodger and Rena Riffel), Century Hotel (Mia Kirshner and Lindy Booth). For some reason Videoflicks (the other Canadian seller) does not have Century Hotel.

    Germany Region 2: www.amazon.de Already mentioned by Tuna. Site is in German but has the exact same interface as AMAZON.COM and you don't need to set up another Amazon account if you already have one with Amazon.com. Shipping is as expensive as it's slow. Offers the unadulterated version of Intimacy (2000) starring Kerry Fox in all her glory.

    Phillipines VCD (region free), DVD (region free?) www.divisoria.com Site is in English. Fast, affordable, efficient. Note some VCDs will not play in some older DVD players.

    From the Mail Bag
    Hey Scoop!

    I was watching the new crappy "Girls Gone Wild: On Campus" infomercial this morning when, amongst all the boring cookie-cutter coeds, there was a VERY hot girl throughout acting as the show's hostess.

    At the beginning she introduces herself as "Crystal" (or Krystal). Who is this gorgeous woman? She's latin/asian looking and is smoking hot!

    Thanks to all the fellow Funhouse readers who might be able to help!

    -B