Tuesday

Some more great film clips:

Tawny Kitaen clips -  four .avi clips zipped together. These are all from the visually superlative "Gwendoline," and feature the legendary Tawnstress as well as Zabou and various unknowns. Tuna loves this movie. I don't love it, but I really like a lot of things about it. Except for Jean-Jaques Annaud's The Lover, I have never seen a softcore sex film with better cinematography, and there's lots of imagination and some pretty good story-telling in there as well. (The DVD is a must-have for your collection - see the Movie House Review for details)

Here is a high quality version of the (intentionally) disgusting scene of Jenna Jameson being devoured by the cannibal-monster in Samhain. This zipped .wmv clip is approximately full DVD quality, and is filled with extreme gore and graphic nudity (the most graphic of which was performed by a mannequin double). It does include some humor. The cannibal hates the taste of her fake tits!

 

Other Crap:

Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska gives an amazing explanation of how the internet works!

Headline of the day: "Little Mr. Apricot Flips Off Crowd, Loses Title" (Thanks to Dave Barry's Blog)

"The Boston Herald reports that Bobby and Peter Farrelly are eyeing Gwyneth Paltrow and Michelle Monaghan to star opposite Ben Stiller in a romantic comedy remake of The Heartbreak Kid" (An award-winning 1972 film directed by Elaine May.)

"BUSH DECLARES INDEPENDENCE FROM CONSTITUTION ... Blasts Historic Document in Fourth of July Address"

  • “Just as our forefathers threw off the horrible yoke of British rule on July 4, 1976, today I am throwing off the yoke of this truly annoying document,” Mr. Bush said.

If you had Jan Murray in this year's death poll, you picked a winner.

US stars align in anti-Iraq war hunger strike

  • "Other supporters, including Penn, Sarandon, novelist Alice Walker and actor Danny Glover will join a 'rolling' fast, a relay in which 2,700 activists pledge to refuse food for at least 24 hours, and then hand over to a comrade."
  • Yup, just the way Gandhi did it. 24 hours without food, and then let someone else get hungry while they bring on the Domino's Deluxe Large, dude!

Did Holmes ever say "Elementary, My Dear Watson"?

  • Holmes did say "Elementary" to Watson on one occasion, but never uttered the entire phrase in a Doyle work.
  • As is often the case (with literary characters), this signature phrase apparently originated with a derivative, non-canonical work: In the 1929 film The Return of Sherlock Holmes, written by Basil Dean and Garrett Fort, the renowned Baker Street detective (as portrayed by actor Clive Brook) speaks the line, "Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary."

I love China.com!! Not only do they misunderstand the use of irony on satire sites, but they refuse to hire anyone who can write in understandable English ... Their classic headline today: Britney Spears is terrifying (They mean "terrified." I think.)

The trailer for Poster Boy

  • Henry Cray is a young gay man who's gone away to college and is enjoying the liberty of coming out, away from his family. The problem is that the boy's father is a powerful, conservative U.S. Senator and around campus the son's homosexuality is a bit of an open secret. Enter 28 year-old gay activist Anthony looking to party, who quickly meets several guys willing to show him a good time -- including Henry. Unaware of Henry's identity, Anthony hooks up with him and spends a fun evening on the floor of the school's darkened gymnasium. When Senator Jack Kray finds himself fighting for his political career in a tight run-off election, he enlists his son against his will to be the "posterboy" for the campaign... but Anthony and Henry may spin the campaign in an unexpected direction.

THE WORLDWIDE ONLINE DEBUT OF THE FLYBOYS TRAILER

  • A drama about the WW1 fighter aces in the legendary Lafayette Escadrille, which consisted both of Frenchmen and foreign volunteers.

SPOKANE PHONE BOOK CHOSEN FOR OPRAH'S BOOK CLUB

Reasons why I'm not a power-mad dicatator, #14 of 27: If I lived in the Middle East, I would NOT name my daughter Rag-had (Although I'm undecided about the name of Saddam's other daughter, Towel-had.)

DAILY SHOW SWEEPS NOBEL PRIZES

  • "Even though ‘The Daily Show’ is a comedy show, most of my colleagues under 40 find it to be a better source for the latest subatomic particle developments than any textbooks or journals of Applied Chemistry," said Wolfgang Sixzer, chair of the Nobel Chemistry Committee, echoing the view of his colleagues who award the other five Nobel Prizes.
  • With the wins, ‘The Daily Show’ has now received every major award given on Earth.

BUSH TEAMS UP WITH APPLE TO OFFER SPEECHES ON iTUNES

  • The White House decided to make the deal with Apple after the President’s controversial domestic spying program intercepted chatter that Al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden was in negotiations with Apple to offer ‘The Best of Bin Laden’ on iTunes.

The greatest hero ever in Wisconsin history, at least among people working in a non-bratwurst capacity: B.B. Zalewski, Elevator Inspector

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

De Noche Vienes, Esmerelda (1997)

De Noche Vienes, Esmerelda (1997) is a Mexican comedy staring Maria Rojo, whom you might remember from Midaq Alley. Esmerelda is by nature a giving woman, but will only have sex with someone she is married to. Not a problem when one is willing to marry everyone. As the film opens, she gets out of bed with her husband and heads off to work at the hospital. Her husband, suspicious, follows her, and sees her change into wedding clothes and begin a wedding ceremony with another man. She is arrested, and charged with not one but five counts of bigamy. Most of the film is dialogue between her, the judge who is taking her testimony, a courthouse stenographer and the judge's assistant. The judge, of course, falls for her. She is convicted, but is granted conjugal visits from all five husbands.

Rojo pulled of the role extremely well, and was absolutely charming start to finish. It was impossible not to like her character. As she relates the story of the marriages, we see what she is describing, and the other players are there in the scene as well, watching. I don't believe I have ever seen this technique before, and found it unique and refreshing.  I suspect there was some real cleverness in the dialogue as well, but that would probably have been better for someone fluent in Spanish.

This is a C+ as a romantic comedy. This is not my favorite genre, and I found this one entertaining.

  • IMDb says 6.6.
  • It won 5 Ariels (the Mexican Oscar) and was nominated for all the other ones.
  • It is in Spanish with English subtitles.

 

In the opening scene, she does a full frontal. Late in the movie, we see her in a transparent blouse. Note that Maria Rojo was born in 1943. Do the math. She was 54 when she made this film. For my money, this is one foxy granny.

 

 		 

 

 

 

 

 

Christine Nguyen in an episode of "Sex Games: Cancun"

 

 

 

 

A Happy 4th of July to all.

We have more from "The Secret Cellar." This time it's Christina Baby - not quite as explicit as the other girls, but she does bare all.

And here's another look at Kennedy Johnston, this time from "The Making of The Secret Cellar," from the special features on the DVD.

 

 

 
 

I sent in some caps and clips of a nudie short last week starring Darlene Bennett and Gigi Darlene.  Here are more caps and clips of Darlene Bennett and her sister, Dawn, in a second short entitled The Room Mates. The mini-movie takes a documentary approach, as if Jacques Cousteau had studied the early morning habits of nekkid babes instead of smelly old sharks.  A voice-over offers an unnecessary commentary because the raison d'etre of this whole thing is to show off Darlene's and Dawn's bods.  We be talking hooties and rumpus ... the furry bits are kept out of sight.  No
plot, really; but the photography was pretty darn good in places and the film itself looked way better than the companion short, Music to Strip By, that is found on this same DVD. 

If you like Darlene this is the short to watch.

Darlene Bennett
Dawn Bennett

 

 

  

 

 

 
Cameron Diaz and her best bud Drew Barrymore went swimmin' together and, not unexpectedly, shutterbugs tracked their movements. Cameron was kind enough to fall out of her suit!