Saturday

Insanitarium

2008

A young man fakes insanity in order to get information about his mentally ill sister, who has been confined to a high security asylum with tightly closed communication. Once he gets into the institution, he realizes that the head of the asylum (Peter Stormare) is cross between Dr. Mengele and Dr. Frankenstein. The doc is experimenting with radical drugs that ... well, I don't know what the hell he was originally planning to accomplish with his drugs, but the bottom line is that his treatments are turning all of the patients into cannibals who cannot control their taste for flesh. Since they were all mental patients to begin with, and some of them were particularly violent maximum-security types, the patients turn into a horde of criminally insane cannibals, and various circumstances allow them to break free from their cells and bonds, attacking the staff and each other. In this midst of this chaos, the fake-crazy young man must figure out how to escape with his sister.

Insanitarium is a wildly over-the-top gorefest in the same general vein as the Robert Rodriguez zombie/vampire films. There are scenes of medical amputation, decapitation of humans and animals, severed limbs, explicit cannibalism, demented sex, crazy killings, and anything else you might imagine in the bedlam created by a couple dozen insane cannibals and a sadistic doctor. There is so much blood that it covers the walls, the floors, everyone's clothing, the requisite crazy naked chick, and sometimes even the camera lens! The lurid bloodletting is balanced by some comic relief from a nervous patient who befriends our hero, and an assortment of puns in the James Bond mode:

Violently insane and topless nymphomaniac stalker: "Don't you find me pretty?"

Our hero:  "I think you're a knock-out." (Whereupon he punches her in the face.)

The director obviously told the actors not to hold anything back. Makes sense. I mean, c'mon, how can you overact the part of a criminally insane cannibal nymphomaniac stalker? Just let it go. Lisa Arturo is particularly wacky in the nympho role, but she gets plenty of competition in the crazed overacting department, particularly from Peter Stormare as the mad doctor. The most frenetic action is punctuated by a hard-driving rock score and a constant barrage of irritatingly noisy background siounds like alarms, buzzers, screams, and electro-shock equipment.

Laid-back it ain't.

You shouldn't expect the details of the plot to make any sense, and don't set your sights on character development, but if you just want to see a lot of sadistic splatter accompanied by nerve-jangling noises and puns, here ya go.

Lisa Arturo film clips.


Since Lisa Arturo doesn't have an Encyclopedia volume, I collected her previous nude efforts so you can see them in one place. The collages from American Pie 2 and the last collage from The Last Run have appeared here before. The other captures and the film clips are from Mr Skin's collection.

Film Clips Samples
Cattle Call
The Last Run
American Pie 2

 (no clip)

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Finish Line

2008

Taylor Cole shows off her tiny "Niblets", but from a distance in "Finish Line"

 

52 Pick-Up

1986

Kelly Preston is a "Babe in Bondage" who gets snuffed in "52 Pick Up." A grainy- looking scene as it played out on a television screen in the movie. I'll bet she wishes  she had never made this one. Caps and two clips.


 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Two People

1973

Lindsay Wagner

Poor quality source material, but it's the Bionic Woman naked!

 

King of the Ants

2003

Kari Wuhrer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fairy Tales

(1979)


This and upcoming columns: some clips from Fairy Tales

This adult version of the Brothers Grimm stories is a hoot. You got your Idy Tripoldi to start off things and your Linnea Quigley to finish 'em up. Between those two, Angela Aames and former Pet Mariwin Roberts and a bunch of others give up the goodies. There is even a reverse Hankster scene in which guys are chained to the wall and nekkid gals are offering to whip them...as they sing Beat Me Daddy Eight to the Bar. One of the singing whipsters - the brunette - is Evelyn Guerrero.

Clip #5: Nai Bonet (sample below)



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dragon

Part II

Note: When I posted yesterday, I forgot to mention that the Brigitte Lahaie caps came from a French movie called Les Bourgeoises de l'Amour.  (DragonScan)
 

Natalia Avelon in Eight Miles High
Laura Dern in Wild at Heart
Helen de Saint-Pere in Peindre ou faire l'amour
Julie Fournier in Snow White
Amelia Jackson in Snakes on a Train
Sheryl Lee in Backbeat
Cinthia Moura in Deer Woman
Heather Storm in Epic Movie
Marisa Tomei in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

La Femme Publique

1984

Valerie Kaprisky performing an impressive quantity of nude scenes in this Zulawski movie. Zulawski would later hook up with Sophie Marceau and direct three of her films. They never married, but they had a son and I think they are still together. Zulawski is now 68 and Marceau is 32.

Valerie Kaprisky - 10 film clips

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sex and Death 101

2007

I'd have to say that the main problem with this comedy/drama was that it didn't know what it wanted to be. It was funny in parts, had a healthy dose of fantasy/Sci-Fi, and some very serious and even heart-rending moments. Problem was, the pieces didn't meld very well, leaving just a mediocre effort.

Roderick Blank (Simon Baker) is a successful businessman, happy in his life and happy to be engaged. Two weeks before the wedding, he receives an email containing the names of 101 women. The first 29 are the first 29 women he has had sex with, ending with his fiancée. The rest are women that, apparently, he WILL sleep with.

Although Rod is determined to be faithful, despite his best intentions, fate intervenes and after knocking off number 30, he becomes more interested in the list, and less interested in getting married. One after the other, he starts moving down the list, and soon discovers that the list has come from an oracle-like supercomputer that is never wrong, run by a secret agency that is mostly just scary.

As a secondary plot, a woman known as Death Nell (Winona Ryder) is busy putting men into deep comas with injections of drugs, while making love to them. The cops can't find her, and neither can the supercomputer, but....could she be on Rod's list?

For me, this was a movie I didn't especially like, until after I'd watched it and started thinking back on it. Then, I realized that I did indeed like some parts of it, but I think they just tried to pack too much into it, and ended up with something of a hodge-podge.
 

Jessica Kiper Nastassia Malthe and

Polyanna McIntosh

Sophie Monk Winona Ryder

 

 

 

 

 

Pics

Selma Blair - pretty photoshoot with a see-through on her left nipple

Robyn Douglass in Partners (1982)

Cadence McMichael in Trailer Park Boys: The Movie

 

Film Clips

Dr. T and the Women wasn't one of the highlights of Robert Altman's career. In fact in may be the lowlight. It's rated below Popeye at IMDb! Here is his rated filmography:

  1. (7.80) - MASH (1970)
  2. (7.78) - 3 Women (1977)
  3. (7.70) - The Player (1992)
  4. (7.69) - Nashville (1975)
  5. (7.60) - Short Cuts (1993)
  6. (7.59) - McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971)
  7. (7.59) - The Long Goodbye (1973)
  8. (7.45) - Secret Honor (1984)
  9. (7.20) - Gosford Park (2001)
  10. (7.18) - Thieves Like Us (1974)
  11. (7.18) - Images (1972)
  12. (7.09) - Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean (1982)
  13. (7.09) - Vincent & Theo (1990)
  14. (7.00) - A Prairie Home Companion (2006)
  15. (6.99) - California Split (1974)
  16. (6.98) - Jazz '34 (1996)
  17. (6.90) - A Wedding (1978)
  18. (6.89) - That Cold Day in the Park (1969)
  19. (6.80) - Cookie's Fortune (1999)
  20. (6.71) - Brewster McCloud (1970)
  21. (6.71) - Streamers (1983)
  22. (6.34) - The James Dean Story (1957)
  23. (6.27) - Countdown (1968)
  24. (6.25) - A Perfect Couple (1979)
  25. (6.11) - The Company (2003)
  26. (6.04) - The Delinquents (1957)
  27. (6.04) - Buffalo Bill and the Indians, or Sitting Bull's History Lesson (1976)
  28. (5.83) - Kansas City (1996)
  29. (5.71) - The Gingerbread Man (1998)
  30. (5.69) - Fool for Love (1985)
  31. (5.56) - Aria (1987)
  32. (5.41) - HealtH (1980)
  33. (5.36) - O.C. and Stiggs (1985)
  34. (4.84) - Quintet (1979)
  35. (4.81) - Popeye (1980)
  36. (4.72) - Prêt-à-Porter (1994)
  37. (4.71) - Dr T and the Women (2000)
  38. (4.57) - Beyond Therapy (1987)

I have never seen Beyond Therapy, the one film rated below Dr. T. Anyway, the key fact is that Altman, as always, managed to redeem a bad movie by getting some famous women naked or almost naked. Here's Helen Hunt, Farrah Fawcett, and Janine Turner