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Insanitarium
2008
A young man fakes insanity in order to get information about his mentally
ill sister, who has been confined to a high security asylum with tightly
closed communication. Once he gets into the institution, he realizes that the
head of the asylum (Peter Stormare) is cross between Dr. Mengele and Dr.
Frankenstein. The doc is experimenting with radical drugs that ... well, I
don't know what the hell he was originally planning to accomplish with his
drugs, but the bottom line is that his treatments are turning all of the
patients into cannibals who cannot control their taste for flesh. Since they
were all mental patients to begin with, and some of them were particularly
violent maximum-security types, the patients turn into a horde of criminally
insane cannibals, and various circumstances allow them to break free from
their cells and bonds, attacking the staff and each other. In this midst of
this chaos, the fake-crazy young man must figure out how to escape with his
sister.
Insanitarium is a wildly over-the-top gorefest in the same general vein as
the Robert Rodriguez zombie/vampire films. There are scenes of medical
amputation, decapitation of humans and animals, severed limbs, explicit
cannibalism, demented sex, crazy killings, and anything else you might imagine
in the bedlam created by a couple dozen insane cannibals and a sadistic
doctor. There is so much blood that it covers the walls, the floors,
everyone's clothing, the requisite crazy naked chick, and sometimes even the
camera lens! The lurid bloodletting is balanced by some comic relief from a
nervous patient who befriends our hero, and an assortment of puns in the James
Bond mode:
Violently insane and topless nymphomaniac stalker: "Don't you find me
pretty?"
Our hero: "I think you're a knock-out." (Whereupon he punches her in
the face.)
The director obviously told the actors not to hold anything back. Makes
sense. I mean, c'mon, how can you overact the part of a criminally insane
cannibal nymphomaniac stalker? Just let it go. Lisa Arturo is particularly
wacky in the nympho role, but she gets plenty of competition in the crazed
overacting department, particularly from Peter Stormare as the mad doctor. The
most frenetic action is punctuated by a hard-driving rock score and a constant
barrage of irritatingly noisy background siounds like alarms, buzzers, screams,
and electro-shock equipment.
Laid-back it ain't.
You shouldn't expect the details of the plot to make any sense, and don't
set your sights on character development, but if you just want to see a lot of
sadistic splatter accompanied by nerve-jangling noises and puns, here ya go.
Lisa Arturo film clips.
Since Lisa Arturo doesn't have an Encyclopedia volume, I collected her
previous nude efforts so you can see them in one place. The collages from
American Pie 2 and the last collage from The Last Run have appeared here
before. The other captures and the film clips are from Mr Skin's collection.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Finish Line
2008
Taylor Cole shows off her tiny "Niblets", but
from a distance in "Finish Line"
52 Pick-Up
1986
Kelly Preston is a "Babe in Bondage" who gets snuffed in "52 Pick Up." A
grainy- looking scene as it played out on a television screen in the movie.
I'll bet she wishes she had never made this one. Caps and
two clips.
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Notes and collages
Two People
1973 |
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Lindsay Wagner
Poor quality source material, but it's the Bionic Woman naked!
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King of the Ants
2003 |
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Kari Wuhrer
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Fairy Tales
(1979)
This and upcoming columns: some clips from Fairy Tales
This adult version of the Brothers Grimm stories is a hoot. You got your Idy
Tripoldi to start off things and your Linnea Quigley to finish 'em up. Between
those two, Angela Aames and former Pet Mariwin Roberts and a bunch of others
give up the goodies. There is even a reverse Hankster scene in which guys are
chained to the wall and nekkid gals are offering to whip them...as they sing
Beat Me Daddy Eight to the Bar. One of the singing whipsters - the brunette - is
Evelyn Guerrero.
Clip #5:
Nai Bonet (sample below)
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La Femme Publique
1984
Valerie Kaprisky performing an impressive quantity of nude scenes in
this Zulawski movie. Zulawski would later hook up with Sophie Marceau and
direct three of her films. They never married, but they had a son and I
think they are still together. Zulawski is now 68 and Marceau is 32.
Valerie Kaprisky -
10 film clips
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Sex and Death 101
2007
I'd have to say that the main problem with this comedy/drama was that
it didn't know what it wanted to be. It was funny in parts, had a healthy
dose of fantasy/Sci-Fi, and some very serious and even heart-rending
moments. Problem was, the pieces didn't meld very well, leaving just a
mediocre effort.
Roderick Blank (Simon Baker) is a successful businessman, happy in his
life and happy to be engaged. Two weeks before the wedding, he receives an
email containing the names of 101 women. The first 29 are the first 29
women he has had sex with, ending with his fiancée. The rest are women
that, apparently, he WILL sleep with.
Although Rod is determined to be faithful, despite his best intentions,
fate intervenes and after knocking off number 30, he becomes more
interested in the list, and less interested in getting married. One after
the other, he starts moving down the list, and soon discovers that the
list has come from an oracle-like supercomputer that is never wrong, run
by a secret agency that is mostly just scary.
As a secondary plot, a woman known as Death Nell (Winona Ryder) is busy
putting men into deep comas with injections of drugs, while making love to
them. The cops can't find her, and neither can the supercomputer,
but....could she be on Rod's list?
For me, this was a movie I didn't especially like, until after I'd
watched it and started thinking back on it. Then, I realized that I did
indeed like some parts of it, but I think they just tried to pack too much
into it, and ended up with something of a hodge-podge.
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