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Monday
Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net
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Use this search device to seek additional information from amazon.com about any of the books or movies you read about here.
To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.
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| Tuna
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"Tunnel Vision"
Tunnel Vision (1976) is one of those films made up of a series of short sketches with some underlying premise, in this case, a senate hearing into the damage being done to America in 1985 by a censor-free TV station. They supposedly screen excerpts from a typical days programming. Despite some real talent, most of the skits just weren't funny, especially in 2002. However, Henry Kissinger calling Nixon a big jerk on a children's show would have gotten a big laugh from me in the mid 70's. Several of the skits were biting satire, for example, Charlie's Girls, referring both to Charlie's Angels and the Manson family.
The first exposure is from Betty Thomas in pasties and a g-string appearing in a game show where you make an ass of yourself to win prises (think The Newlywed Game, The Price is Right, Beat the Clock, etc.). The other exposure is from Dody Dorn probably because of Vatican II, where she starts dressed as a bishop and ends up showing full-frontal in an ad to join the church. She abandoned acting shortly after this film, and tried her hand at several other crafts, finally becoming a talented editor, and received an Oscar nomination in 2000 for Memento.
IMDB readers say 5.0 of 10. For a much better sketch movie, see Kentucky Friend Movie or Can I do it Til I Need Glasses. D+.
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Betty Thomas
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Dody Dorn
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"Monster's Ball"
Monster's Ball (2002) kept coming to the top of my to-do list, and today was the day. You already know about the nudity, and that Halle Berry received Best Actress Oscar for her portrayal of poor black trash. Frankly, the entire cast did a tremendous job on this film. Swiss director Marc Forster gave the film a European pace, and a European feel, with simple camera angles, lots of medium and long shots, and a subdued color palette which was effective in setting a somber mood. In short, it was a good piece of film making, although I would have preferred a little more pace.
Major spoilers coming. Billy Bob Thornton is head of the death squad at a Georgia prison, and is to supervise the electrocution of a black man. His son is part of the squad. The son loses his dinner while escorting the condemned man to the chair. After the execution, Thornton accosts his son in the John, and beats the shit out of him. The day before the execution, we meet Halle Berry, the condemned man's wife, and mother of a very overweight kid. She gives the condemned man hell, goes home to the house she is being evicted from, goes out for some booze, and comes back to beat the shit out of her kid for eating chocolate while she was gone. Meanwhile, we meet Thornton's father, who had the same job Thornton did, and taught Thornton to be a bigot.
The morning after the execution, Thornton tries to throw his son out of the house, but the son pulls a gun on him, then turns it on himself and commits suicide. The film spent about 45 minutes introducing us to these low-life characters, and when Halle Berry's son is run over and killed, I couldn't help but think he might be better off. Then comes the strange twist. What felt for all the world like an anti-death penalty anti bigotry movie tried to convince me that it was a love story about how Thornton and Berry, with the common experience of losing a son, found redemption in each others arms. She stopped drinking, he quit the department of corrections, bought a gas station, put his father in a rest home, and turned into a civil rights worker. I'm sorry, I didn't buy the love story. They did too good a job in the first act convincing me what lowlifes Thornton and Berry were. The IMDB scores, critical reviews, etc say that this film has appeal, but it is largely depressing, and was, for me, slow paced and a flawed concept. Perhaps if they had spent less time convincing me that Berry and Thornton were creeps, they could have helped the pace and made the love story more credible.
C+.
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Amber Rules
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Halle Berry
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| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Mail:
Scoop,
Nice clips from Shallow Hal, but please note that the "magnificent rear end" is
not Gwyneth's. Not only is the scene obviously shot to suggest a body double,
but the Farrelly Brothers confirm it in their commentary on the DVD.
Scoop's note: thanks for the info. I never listened to
the commentary. No wonder it looked so good - it was a woman who seems to have
been hired in a talent search for a perfect butt!
Scoop,
Argument material: the top 50 movie death scenes...
http://www.groovymovie.info/death%20scenes.htm
There are some good scenes in here, but personally, I would have gone with
things that were lighter on gore and SFX and had better dialogue and more
resonance. For instance, John Wayne's death in "The Shootist" where the boy
who wanted to be a gunfighter like him throws away the gun he's just used to
kill Wayne's killer, and Wayne nods his silent approval, then expires onscreen
for the last time, not long before his real death. Or Gene Hackman's death at
the hands of Clint Eastwood in "Unforgiven," with the thunder rolling in the
background...
Sheriff Bill: I don't deserve to die like this! I was building a house!
Munny: "Deserve's" got nothin' to do with it.
Sheriff: I'll see you in Hell, William Munny.
Munny: Yeah.
BOOM!
Now, THAT'S a death scene!
(from Pat Reeder of the Comedy Wire)
Movies:
Teenage Caveman
is a made-for-cable film from Larry Clark. I think the 2.4 rating at IMDb says
it all. We're talking suckathon here. If the IMDb "worst" list were re-written to exclude the bad movies made
famous by MST3000, this might contend for a Bottom Ten spot. For our purposes,
however, it is a bad movie with lots o' breasts, which beats the livin'
daylights out of a bad movie with no nudity.
- Tiffany Limos
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- Crystal Grant
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- Hayley Keenan
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- Tara Subkoff
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Other crap:
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The NY Post picks the
best and worst movies of the first half of 2002.
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Silent Bob
sheds the beard and 40 pounds - you can't even recognize him
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Last week,
President Bush declared a jihad against infidel Supreme Court appointees!
"I believe that it points up the fact that we need common sense judges who
understand that our rights were derived from God. Those are the kind of
judges I intend to put on the bench." Although President Bush is not known as
a scholarly fellow, perhaps one of his smarter friends will point him to the
U.S. Constitution, which specifically says in Article VI, “no religious Test
shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under
the United States.” Needless to say, the president takes an oath to uphold
the constitution, even when he disagrees with it.
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A wonderful family tradition continues. Bill Veeck was one of my personal
heroes, and is my choice as the greatest owner in the history of major league
baseball, remembered for liberal (and humorous) interpretations of the rules, outrageous
promotions, and his promotion of minority athletes when it wasn't fashionable
(he brought up ancient Satchel Paige as a key component in his 1948 pennant winner).
Some of his classics: the midget who batted for the St Louis Browns, the game
where the fans were allowed to vote on strategies, the retractable outfield
wall (there was nothing in the rules which forbade it - until after that
night), and the notorious "disco sucks" night. Nobody ever loved baseball or
a good laugh more than Bill Veeck. His son Mike is now owner of the single-A
Charleston Riverdogs, and has come up with several outlandish promotions of
his own. (Tonya Harding Bat Night and Vasectomy Night, for example). Mike
will try to beat the old record for the lowest attendance at a professional
game when he locks the doors during tomorrow's game against Columbus.
(The old record is 12 people, by the way, and has lasted more than 120
years.)
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Veeck senior wrote an autobiography, by the way, "Veeck
as in Wreck", which is must reading for anyone who loves the history of
the game.
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Wimbledon gets streaked again. Unfortunately, it's a dude
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Anna Nicole
Smith to have her own TV show. No comment.
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are you fascinated with online IQ and personality tests?
This guy has collected links to (and ratings
for) as many as he could find.
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amazing website - every
word H.P. Lovecraft ever wrote - online and indexed.
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the top 10 really rude things to do
on the internet. Includes a QT movie of Ginger Spice naked before she was
famous.
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Oscar to trim the show by eliminating theme material and some honorary awards.
Bunch of dumb-asses. People who love films watch the Oscars. Those people
don't mind seeing Woody Allen or watching Sydney Poitier retrospectives, but
they do mind watching a bunch of unknowns take their turns thanking their
moms. All the industry has to do to make it a good show is to give those
minor awards off-camera earlier that same afternoon. We need to see: the best picture, the
best director, the four best actors, the two best screenplays, best foreign
language picture, and the best cinematography. Ten awards - tight show -
everything significant. As for the rest of the awards - they can tell us
about that in a brief montage and put the details in a cable special and
their website.
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined
there might be something of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
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| Graphic Response
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- Deborah Caprioglio full frontal nudity and images from the gyno-cam in scenes from "Paprika" (1989). A film by the legenday Euro-nudity director, Tinto Brass.
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
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| Jr.
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C2000 recently reviewed the Angie Everhart-gets-nekkid-flick "Bare Witness" (2001), so I wont bother with a review, but I did so some 'caps.
I did not do Angie today, instead I covered the rest of the nudity, and there was plenty. Most of it was pretty decent too. The mood lighting (from fire places, etc) doesn't translate well into video capture form, but as you watch the scenes on DVD, they are tasteful and the nudity is clear.
A little trivia...the IMDb has the the credits wrong, they swapped Larranaga and Reina.
By the way, Lauren Reina could be an up and coming talent in this genre. Her body is tight, her look is exotic, and her acting is solid.
- Catalina Larranaga (all three B's)
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- Lauren Reina (topless)
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- Unknown (possibly Catalina Larranaga)
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- Unknowns (topless and rear views)
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| Hankster
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Scoop,
A little variety today.
- Leslie Stefanson, the victim of rape and murder in "The General's Daughter".
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Helen Hunt and Charlize Theron in "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion", no nudity from either one , but they are both just beautiful women and Charlize gives us that Veronica Lake look.
Then it's Cindy Crawford in "Fair Game", her film debut. Not a great actress, but some hard to see breast exposure.
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| Blacksheep
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Excellent scans from the latest issue of I.D.
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| Variety
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Shauna O'Brien
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A few scans of the Skinemax regular by Scorpion.
The breakdown:
Link #1...partial breast exposure.
Link #2...black undies
Link #3...full frontal (with her old boobs)
Link #4...A nipple is in view if you look near the bear's ear.
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| Kirsten Dunst |
A sexy pose with Kirsten wearing very little.
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Stacey Dash
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Two great scans of the "Clueless" star. #1 has a very nice rear view, #2 has a bit of see-thu nipple.
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