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Tuna
"The Hunger: Vampires"

The Hunger: Vampires (1997) is a collection of 4 episodes from the first season of the Canadian made Showtime series. Each of the stories concerns a vampire, but they are not traditional vampire tales. All four had way too much fancy lighting and camera effects for my taste.

In the first episode, Kim Feeney has been admitted to a mental hospital, when they check in a naked Vampire. They end up in the same padded cell, and it seems she has had previous experience with Vampires, and knows him for what he is. They end up having very energetic sex, and we see her breasts, buns, and maybe a hint of bush.

In the second tale, a new vampire has trouble getting laid and finding a meal, and is helped by a mentor vampire, who ends up shape shifting and seducing him. The shape shifted version is played by Janine Theriault, who shows breasts only, and briefly at that.

Tale three concerns a woman who seduces a man and then turns him into an immortal bridge partner for her old husband. Celine Bonnier as the woman shows all three Bs, providing the best exposure on this DVD.

The last tale has Sophie Shinas traveling to France to dine on French cuisine. She is doing great, until a vegetarian turns her life around. She also briefly exposes her breasts.

The series has its fans, but for me, was too much like what it is -- a TV series with mild nudity, and not much else to recommend it. The DVD is bare bones, and doesn't even have a menu, forcing you to watch all 4 seperate episode in one sitting. C-.

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  • Celine Bonnier (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
  • Janine Theriault (1, 2, 3)
  • Kim Feeney (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Sophie Shinas (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "The Royal Tenenbaums"

    The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) intrigued me for two reasons. First, Scoop mentioned that some people really liked this film, and the reviewer at CNDB commented that Tatiana Abbey gave Gwyneth Paltrow a "snog" and exposed her breasts. I figured it might be my kind of quirky comedy, and couldn't wait to find out what a snog was. It was not my kind of comedy, and I still don't know what a snog is. I too found it derivitive of J. D. Salinger's work, especially Franny and Zoey, and "A Perfect Day for Bananafish" from Nine Stories. I think the aim was to keep me mildly amused for the entire running length. While the cast was excellent, and there was certainly an odd assortment of characters, my snoring would have drowned any family chuckles.

    The film was masterfully shot, and the locations were interesting, but the story just left me cold. C+.

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  • Tatiana Abbey (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Movies and Public Stuff:

    I'm running late. The reviews for these two films will be up shortly after the page is posted, and will appear on the list below:

    1. Ecstasy pretty much invented the entire concept of celebrity nudity. Oh, there had been still pictures circulating around that were rumored to be stars, and maybe they were, but in this 1933 film, there was no question. There was Hedy Lamarr, stark naked, skinny dipping, then running after her runaway horse, her breasts up there on the screen, and about 20 feet in circumference. It is virtually a silent movie, and the little dialogue is in German with subtitles.

    2. ZigZag is a film directed by the guy who wrote the Blade movies, and starring Wesley Snipes. And do you know what? It is about the opposite of what you expect. Not an action picture, or an escapist fantasy, but a sensitive story about an autistic kid with an abusive father and a kindly "big brother". It is a damned good movie which manages to be touching without ever stooping to any stirring speeches, swelling music, sappy sentimentalism or phony-baloney romance. The characters seem so real that you think you know them. (Snipes had only a small part as the abusive dad, but he did his usual good job, and the rest of the case was really first-rate.) There is a lot of toplessness, and the last dancer (unknown #1 below) is quite attractive, was topless in good light, and had several lines, but I don't know who any of them are, including the pretty one with the dialogue.

    3. Jenny Frost of Atomic Kitten pops out in concert Sunday in Hyde Park. (1, 2)

     

    Other crap:

    • The Internet Anagram Server. Gives you anagrams for anything you type in. "Uncle Scoopy" anagrams include "uno sly PC CEO". George W Bush is "whose bugger", or "SOB grew huge". Al Gore is "lo gear". Winona Ryder is "warden irony". William Shatner is "a masher, nill wit". Osama bin Laden is "I, a damnable son"
    • Kylie Minogue has reportedly agreed to pose naked for a new book called The Naked Truth
    • The celebrity gossip site, The A List,  is updated. Note: we know that some of their gossip has been proven untrue, so you have to treat all of it with circumspection. Given that proviso, it's fun to read. The latest salacious accusations:
      • Jim Garner and Brendan Fraser are Fancy Lads. (Garner's wife? A beard.)
      • Catherine Zeta-Jones is 10 years older than she claims. I've often thought that her age must be wrong, and she certainly looks older than 32, but to my knowledge there is no hard evidence to support that position.
      • Tobey Maquire has been romantically linked with Heather Graham, Nicole Kidman and Kirsten Dunst -even though he's bi-. (It's good to be a geek!)

     

    Pat Reeder's Comedy Wire:

    Pat's words in yellow, real news stories in white -

    * A Berkeley, California, women's group hopes to set a new world record by having 1,000 mothers breastfeed together

    ...This will break the old record for "World's Suckiest Public Event" set by John Tesh's "Avalon Concert."
     


    * San Antonio got over 13 inches of rain last week, which broke the record for the most rain they'd ever had in the entire month of July

    ...The "13 inches at once" mark also tied a similar record held by Madonna.

     

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Lori Singer, or as we like to call her, "the poor man's Daryl Hannah". Here she is topless while getting it on with Mick "the Mickster" Rourke, in "Last Ride" (1994).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Hankster
    Scoop,

    It's a "Hankster Lite" day as we look in on Sita Thompson in "Rod Steele 0014: You Only Live Until You Die", the Skinemax James Bond spoof.

    We see Sita strip while under the power of some kind of a sex ray, and then nude in the shower with Rod.

    UC99
    Diana Körner Topless in scenes from "Merkwürdiges Beispiel einer weiblichen Rache".

    Susanne Lothar Very nice breast exposure, and maybe a hint of pubes in the shadows. From a love scene in "Geschäfte" (1994).

    Elisabeth Lanz The Austrian actress topless, and seen from behind while wearing very tight pants. Vidcaps from "Samt und Seide" (1999).

    Julie Strain Big Jules bares her breasts on "Blitz".

    Lisa Comshaw
    (1, 2)

    Showing all three B's on Euro-TV.

    Sophie Schütt Brief breast and bum views from "Sieben Tage bis zum Glück" (1998).

    Nicolette Krebitz Her nipples have tape over them, but there is clear bush exposure in scenes from "Schicksalsspiel".

    Mascha Rabben
    (1, 2)

    Topless as the title character in "Harlis" (1972).

    Katharina Meinecke Very nice toplessness and full dorsal nudity in scenes from "Tödliche Wahrheit (1994)"

    Variety
    Angie Everhart
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Great 'caps by C2000 of Angie's excellent nudity in the straight-to-video flick, "Sexual Predator".

    Lena Headey The British actress seen topless and fully nude in a side view from the UK movie "The Parole Officer" (2001). Thanks again to C2000.

    Barbara Crampton
    & Kathleen Kinmont
    An excellent, and huge collage by Dann (about 410k), from the 80's Spring Break flick "Fraternity Vacation". Great mindless entertainment with nekkid babes, beer, good frat vs. evil frat, and of course Dean Wormer.

    Lisa Marie
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

    Actress, former model and former long time girlfriend of Tim Burton in a variety of poses from throughout her career.

    Here are some highlights:

  • Links 1,15,17,18...Breast and bum views
  • Links 3,13,14...Cleavage
  • Link #4...Rear nudity
  • Links 5,6,9,10,11...Topless

  • The Funnies
    Great lines on T-Shirts
  • 1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
  • 2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
  • 3) I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me.
  • 4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
  • 5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  • 6) Don't take life too seriously. You won't get out alive.
  • 7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
  • 8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • 9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
  • 10) To all you virgins - thanks for nothing.
  • 11) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
  • 12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • 13) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ
  • 14) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
  • 15) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • 16) It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
  • 17) Your IQ test score is back and the results were negative.
  • 18) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
  • 19) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  • 20) I must be a proctologist because I work with assholes.