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Tuna
"Witching Time"

Witching Time (1980) was the first episode of a short lived Hammer studios TV series called The Hammer House of Horror, which had 13 episodes in all. This first had a generous amount of nudity, including some in the opening credits, then dropped off to nearly no exposure. There is no way of knowing if it was studio censorship pressure, or if the pilot episode was beefed up to gain an audience. For a review of the entire series, read Scoop's review in the archives.

In this episode, a movie score composer suspects that his actress wife is having an affair. After a disappointing call from her saying she was staying in London, a witch time travels, and turns up in his barn. His first thought is that she is mentally unstable, and calls his doctor over, but the doctor can't find the witch. The witch, played by Patricia Quinn, seduces and bewitches him, and tries to get him to do in his strumpet wife, Prunella Gee. Since I rate this worth seeing, I don't want to spoil the entire plot.

Quinn is topless in two scenes, one a longshot, and the other a breast closeup, and Gee spends a lot of time in a bra and panties. All thirteen episodes are contained in a 4 DVD box set. Since Scoop coved the entire set, I will not be doing the rest of the 13, as the exposure was so greatly reduced, but this is all good Hammer style. If the genre is old gothic horror TV, this one is excellent, with decent acting, exposure, and an interesting plot. The transfer quality is also decent. B.

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  • Patricia Quinn (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Prunella Gee (1, 2, 3)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3)

    "A Gun, a Car, a Blonde"

    A Gun, a Car, a Blonde (1998) seems to have struggled for theatrical distribution, and then gone to budget video. The few votes at IMDB have it at 4.6 of 10, and the only review is unkind. I adored this film. The problem, possibly, was mis-marketing. It was billed as a thriller, but has nearly no action and absolutely no suspense. It is half drama, and half B & W detective noire. Jim Metzler is well to do, reasonably young and good looking, and has cancer of the spinal cord. Although it is in remission, he is paralyzed from the waist down, is frequently in pain, and requires the assistance of a nurse companion, Victor Love. He also has a housekeeper, and a gold-digging sister, who has suddenly taken an interest in him now that she stands to inherit his money, and is living with him.

    His best friend, John Ritter, is kind of a New Age and alternative healing nut, and tells him about a drug-free method of pain control that is much like a detailed daydream, where you imagine every nuance of the fantasy. Borrowing from his familiarity with 40's and 50's detective noires, he incorporates people and things from his real life into a wonderful spoof. His becomes PI Rick Stone, and the attractive blonde neighbor, Andrea Thompson, comes to him because her life is in danger.

    The noire segments are beautifully done in B & W, but forgo the fog, smoke and darkness common with the genre. Inevitably, he becomes romantically involved with his client, and Thompson has a lengthy full-frontal scene, and some good bun shots. Thompson, of course, is known for Babylon 5, NYPD Blue, Wall Street etc. The noire segments become more frequent as the film progresses, and the fact that they are stereo-typical and over the top keeps this from being a depressing "dying man" film. Real life elements were skillfully woven in to the noire story, which also contributed to the entertainment. For instance, when the sister calls the male nurse/companion a Black Chinaman, you know a Black Chinaman character will appear in the noire story. It is always possible that I was just in the right mood for this film, but I didn't even mind the John Ritter's performance in this case. For me, this film is a B-, and would be appreciated by a large audience if people had proper expectations when seeing it.

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  • Andrea Thompson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Updates:

    The Gwyneth Paltrow volume is updated

     

    Other crap:

     

    Pat Reeder's Comedy Wire:

    Pat's words in yellow, real news stories in white -

    FORMER "Baywatch" babe Traci Bingham is peeling down for PETA.

    Click here for a link to the image

    The vegetarian vixen's ad shows her nude and marked up like a butcher's diagram with the caption, "All Animals Have the Same Parts-Have a Heart. Go Vegetarian." Bingham, wearing a lettuce bikini, will host a Gear magazine and Beefeater gin-sponsored bash tomorrow at Suite 16. "By exposing myself, I hope to expose others to the many benefits of a vegetarian diet," she says

    122-YEAR-OLD WOMAN STILL RESENTS HER 1894 MARRIAGE
    Next month, Hava Rexha of Shushice, Albania, will turn 122. The nation's oldest woman said she's never needed a doctor or had a headache, even though she smokes, drinks coffee, and eats whatever she likes, including a lot of butter. The one resentment she still nurses is her marriage, even though it happened way back in 1894. She said she was forced to get married at 14 to an "old man" who claimed to be 30 but was really 60 and had been married twice before.

    * Once to Joan Collins and once to Joan Rivers.

    * Nowadays, a twice-married 60-year-old sounds like a young hunk.

    * She hasn't had a headache in 122 years, but she used to claim to have one every night.



    OLDER PORN STARS DENOUNCE VIAGRA
    Some old-school porn actors are angry about the invention of Viagra. Kyle Stone, an average-looking 38-year-old who has made about 1,000 porn movies, said he'd like to sue Pfizer Inc. because Viagra has cut his work in half. He said guys like him, who are able to "perform" on camera naturally, have been pushed aside by buff, pretty, young "Viagra Boys." Porn actresses also complain that their Viagra-charged co-stars are preening egomaniacs who steal attention, make them feel less sexy, and force them to work longer hours, plus you can tell they're on Viagra because their faces and chests are an ugly red.

    * Oh, not just their faces and chests!...And it can't be from embarrassment.

    * Now we know why Hugh Hefner slops on so much tanning cream.

    * It's like the way steroids are ruining baseball!

    * A Viagra Boy can make 1,000 porn movies in three days.

    * To a true craftsman, it's like the difference between real wood and wood veneer.

     

    PAY BRITNEY TO CLOG YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE
    Britney Wears Off-The-Rack On Her Rack?     - For just $19.99, Britney Spears will phone you...sort of. That buys a three-month subscription to Britney's wireless fan club at Best Buy. Buyers will get pre-recorded voice and text messages from Britney and her entourage. For instance, her wardrobe mistress called subscribers to leave a scratchy message that she had shopped for outfits for Britney that day and would do so again in a few days.

    * She promised to call back later with a full report...and a lot of people changed their phone numbers.

    * I'd pay $19.99 for Caller ID just to avoid calls like that.

    * You can also subscribe online, at www.guys-with-no-life.com.

    * When you hear Britney's prerecorded voice on your answering machine, you can pretend that she's right there, lip-synching to it!


    Scoop,

    Nice review and stills from "Ecstasy."  I'm glad to see you are inching toward the silent era.  I must be having a good influence on you.

    You mentioned the excellent camera work and cinematography.  Actually, that was true of many silent films.  By the late '20s, film makers from Buster Keaton to Hitchcock in England to the German Expressionists were doing all sorts of amazing things with cameras, from multiple exposures to mounting cameras on trapezes.   Cameras were so portable that they could be taken anywhere, and there was some astounding photography, with the use of light and shadow, smoke and extreme closeups, giant sets and crowd scenes.

    Then sound came in, and suddenly, everyone had to stand close to the hidden microphone while the camera, which made noise that could be picked up by the mic, had to be nailed down inside an immobile soundproof booth.  It's no wonder that many people thought talkies were a huge step backward. Compared to the later silents, it was like watching a ballet where all the dancers suddenly had to put on cement coats and nail their shoes to the floor.

    By the way, I'm hosting a silent movie party in a couple of weeks, and we're going to watch Clara Bow's "Hula".  I've never seen it, but I've heard it has a skinny-dipping scene, too.  I doubt that it's as good as the one in "Ecstasy," though.

    Pat Reeder

     

     

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that I inexplicably determined there might be something of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Theresa Russell, topless plus a hint of pubes in scenes from "Bad Timing: A Sensual Obsession" (1980).

    • Marilyn Monroe, showing some pokies through her swimsuit in scenes from my favorite of her movies, "Some Like It Hot" (1959).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Jr.
    Naturally I couldn't do "Bare Witness" without 'capping Angie Everhart's love scene with a fat furry Baldwin. By the way, Everhart and Daniel Bladwin will be teaming up again in "The Real Deal".

    • Angie Everhart in "Bare Witness" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    The "Bare Witness" DVD has a trailer for "Sexual Pradator" which also featured some Angie nudity.

    • Angie Everart in "Sexual Predator" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Hankster
    Scoop,

    More "Hankster Lite" today with the always beautiful Angie Everhart in "The Substitute: Failure is not an Option". Not a whole lot to see, but I mananaged to 'cap what I could of those nice breasts of hers.

    • Angie Everhart (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Variety
    Jennifer Love Hewitt 'Caps by DAI of JLH in the new video for her recently released single and cd, both named "Bare Naked". Jennifer does tease by taking off her shirt, but of course she's facing away from the camera, and it's MTV. I wonder if someone should sue for false advertising?

    James King An extremely brief nipple sighting as the "Pearl Harbor" babe goes for a swim in scenes from "Happy Campers", by DeafBeer.

    Valerie Perrine Rear nudity and some patial breast exposure in scenes from one of her earliest roles, 1972's "Steambath". Vidcaps by the Skinmeister.

    Heidi Klum A fanastic wet-shirt scan with great see-thru nipple sightings.

    Michelle Williams The "Dawson's Creek" babe showing some cleavage on Leno. Will someone please get this girl a hair brush!

    Desireé Nick The German TV actress and standup comic posing topless. A very odd scan by Jedilein.

    Jodi Lyn O'Keefe A hint of nipple in a shower scene, plus a nice "upskirt" view in scenes from the teen flick "Whatever It Takes", by Tmo.

    Brittany Murphy If you squint and use your imagination, there might be a nipple visible in these 'caps by The Goose from "Sidewalks of New York" (2001).

    Kristy Swanson The original Buffy wearing a see-thru top in public.

    Celeb News
  • Oscar-Winning Actor Rod Steiger Dies at Age 77


  • Baywatch's Hasselhoff in Alcohol Treatment Center

    LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Actor David Hasselhoff, the rugged chief lifeguard on "Baywatch" until the long-running syndicated TV series ceased production in May, has checked into the Betty Ford Center for treatment of a drinking problem.

    Hasselhoff, who turns 50 next week, "realized his social drinking had increased more than he was comfortable with and he decided to do something about it," his publicist said in a statement issued on Monday.

    Hasselhoff was admitted to the clinic on June 26, his publicist Richard Hoffman said. It was not clear how long the actor would remain in Rancho Mirage, California facility.

    Hasselhoff became one of the most recognizable performers in the world starring as lifeguard Mitch Buchannon on "Baywatch," which was seen around the world.

    The show debuted on NBC in 1989 and was canceled after one season. But Hasselhoff and his partners acquired rights to the show and brought it back as a syndicated series in 1991 based on his popularity overseas.

    But the 11-year-old show, which also made household names of Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra and Yasmine Bleeth, ended its 11-year run in May 2001, falling victim to growing competition and an increasingly fragmented TV market.