Back in the early 80's, the few women that were around were only for there decoration, or to offset the underlying homosexuality associated with long haired, spandex wearing men that like to touch each other! Hey, everyone was wacked out on cocaine and homophobic back then! Many of us also wore parachute pants, neon colored clothing, and checkered Vans too, but that's another story.

Yup, our only female rasslin' came in the form of GLOW, the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling. Or in the "quality" strip clubs on mud wrestling Wednesdays. But again...that's also another story, and legally I can't say any more than that without my attorney present.

Anyway...here we have the usual Rasslin' stuff. Lots of cleavage, a few possible nip slips, etc. The only real nudity comes from Tylene.

Dear staff members:
Due to an unfortunate overreaction by the American people to our minor difficulties in the security area, we're being forced to tighten up just a wee bit.
Effective Monday:
1. The brown paper bag in which we store the computer disk drives that contain the nation's nuclear secrets will no longer be left on the picnic table at the staff commissary during lunch hour. It will be stored in "the vault." I know this is an inconvenience to many of you, but it's a sad sign of the times.
2. The three-letter security code for accessing "the vault" will no longer be "B-O-B." To confuse would-be spies, that security code will be reversed. Please don't tell anybody.
3. Visiting scientists and graduate students from Libya, North Korea and mainland China will no longer be allowed to wander the hallways without proper identification. Beginning Monday, they will be required to wear a stick-on lapel tag that clearly states, "Hello, My Name Is . . . ." The stickers will be available at the front desk.
4. The computer network used for scientific calculations will no longer be hyperlinked via the Internet to such Web sites as sweedchicks.com or hackers-r-us.com, etc. Links to all Disney sites will be maintained, however.
5. Researchers bearing a security clearance of Level 5 and higher will no longer be permitted to exchange updates on their work by posting advanced-physics formulas on the men's room walls.
6. On "Bowling Night," please check your briefcases and laptop computers at the front counter of the Bowl-a-Drome instead of leaving them in the cloakroom. Mr. Badonov, the front-counter supervisor, has promised to "keep un eye on zem" for us.
7. Staff members will no longer be allowed to take home small amounts of plutonium, iridium or uranium for use in those "little weekend projects around the house." That includes you parents who are helping the kids with their science fair projects.
8. Thermonuclear devices may no longer be checked out for "recreational use." We've not yet decided if exceptions will be made for Halloween, the Fourth of July or New Year's Eve. We'll keep you posted.
9. Employees may no longer "borrow" the AA batteries from the burglar alarm system to power their Game Boys and compact-disc players during working hours.
10. And, finally, when reporting for work each day, all employees must enter through the front door. Raoul, the janitor, will no longer admit employees who tap three times on the side door to avoid clocking in late.

I know this crackdown might seem punitive and oppressive to many of you, but it is our sworn duty to protect the valuable national secrets that have been entrusted to our care.
Remember: Security isn't a part-time job--it's an imperative, all 37 1/2 hours of the week!

Sincerely,
Bill

Members Bonuses

"The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance" from Tuna

The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance has no Bloodsuckers and no dancing. What it does have is a lot of naked actresses that I can't identify. Perhaps someone can help with the id. A count invites several actresses to his mansion. They all have sex with each other, then they lose their heads. The pace is excruciatingly slow, the plot is thin, the acting is terrible. About all this has going for it is naked actresses and good DVD transfer quality.

Thumbnails

Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4) note

Tuna reminded me that my list of good singer-actor crossovers should also include Michelle Pfeiffer.

"All About My Mother"

Here is the composition of the world of Pedro Almodovar:

• Transvestites: 14%
• Transsexuals: 13%
• Pregnant nuns: 11%
• Children of nuns who, up until recently, were pregnant: 9%
• Regular homosexuals: 5%
• Actors and actresses and writers who create stories about the gender-troubled characters: 7%
• Antonio Banderas: 11%
• Children whose father has better tits than their mother: 30%

Now before you rent an Almodovar film, get your mind adjusted to that world, and don't go kvetching when it appears before you, because you know what to expect.

I get the point of the film - that the appearances of these offbeat characters, and their atypical situations don't change the fact that they are essentially the same people we are, except that they have to struggle harder to get there, and far harder still to be accepted once they arrive. That produces some good moments of intense drama, and Almodovar balances the intense drama with a truly offbeat and dark sense of humor, which helps to make the stories watchable. I understand the stories, and they're OK, but I just don't "feel" them at a level that makes me want to praise this film as genius.

Some things I did enjoy about this film: 

• Excellent performances from the leads.
• Technically solid, even lustrous. 
• Beautiful choice of locales, mainly the city of Barcelona, predominantly in architecture created by or influenced by Antonio Gaudi.

 If you are not familiar with Senor Gaudi, he is a turn of the century architect who rejected traditional architectual concepts in the same way that modern painters rejected traditionalism. He rejected not only the established concepts of beauty, and also the familiar geometry of building design. This is inherently bold and daring for an architect. Much more risky than for a painter, for example. I mean, if you're a painter and you reject classical allegories and traditional human figures, it's not like your painting is going to collapse on somebody's grandmother or suck small pets down the toilet. The worst that can happen is that people don't like it and/or don't understand it, and you will feel like you wasted a couple months and a couple hundred dollars worth of paint. But when you're an architect and you reject traditional forms, there's always the outside chance that your whole damned building will fall down on top of the Pope, or that nobody will rent your apartments and you will lose the years you invested in creating it. Worse still, the guys who invested in the apartment building will lose every cent, and may be named Vito, and may retain some of their colleagues to send you to a resort where you will be encouraged to take swimming lessons with Luca Brasi. So you have to give Gaudi a big tip of the hat for creating designs which are not only unique and daring, but functional as well. Regular people actually live in buildings that he designed, and the entire modern city bears a distinct flavor that he created. And if you can't afford a ticket to Barcelona, this movie is an inexpensive alternative.

This page will give you a quick look at some of Gaudi's creations. It isn't comprehensive, but you'll get the idea.

This is Antonia San Juan. She plays a transsexual, or a partial transsexual, since he/she still has the ol' sweet potato, but also has breasts and wears women's clothing. That's the character I'm talking about. As for the actor or actress Antonia San Juan, your guess is as good as mine.

Antonia san Juan And this is just some random woman

"Jaws", (1975), from Johnny Web

You think I'm going to review this, you're nuts. Everyone on the planet knows about it, even in the darkest corners of the globe. The frigging Masai act the story out over campfires, although they really have to stoop over to act the part of Richard Dreyfuss. And the Lapps re-made it with a very large killer reindeer named Bruce.

Y'know it looks a little cheesy in the light of the 25 years that have passed. Special effects are a lot better now, and the acting wasn't exceptionally good in this movie. But it's still horrifying when it cuts to the chase.

This is Susan Backlinie, the skinny dipper who gets chomped in the opening scene. (1 2) And this is Susan Blackline who, I am told, is the same woman.

Miscellaneous

Bo Derek at 43, in the new issue of Vanity Fair, as photographed by Herb Ritts. WOW. Lil Kim, also from Vanity Fair.

In addition to the pictures that go with these daily member's bonuses every day, the subscription area now has two years' worth of back issues of the Fun House, plus the rasslin' babes site, the fakes, the Fun House, the Encyclopedia, and the Mardi Gras pics. Click here to sign up or get info