Film clips:

I haven't seen Ask the Dust (2006), but I hope to soon. In the meantime, several other people have created some pretty sweet videos of Salma Hayek and another woman.

• This is an enormous zipped avi of Salma and Colin in the surf.
• This is a small zipped .avi of the two of them making love on the beach.
• This is a moderate sized .avi of them making love in bed.
• This zipped .wmv is a brightened-up and saturated version of the surf scene. It looks kind of like a cartoon, but it does show off the goods which are too dark in the originals.
• This tiny zipped .avi is Idina Menzel

The captures below are all taken from the first film clip above, but the brightness and/or color has been adjusted to show a little more detail. The quality is not great, but it's not awful either.

Salma Hayek

 

Other Crap:

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

"10"

10 (1979) was reviewed to death when I first capped it several years ago. A discount DVD with 10 on one side and Tarzan the Ape Man on the other was just released, and features decent Widescreen versions of both films, but little in the way of extras. In looking at my old images, I felt I could do much better. As a reminder, Bo Derek, in her first film, becomes the object of desire for male menopausal Dudley Moore who spots her on the way to her wedding. He is bickering with his girlfriend, Julie Andrews, and tired of his neighbor, whom he watches through a telescope, and who is enjoying a steady stream of beautiful naked women (played by porn actresses). He follows Derek to her Mexican honeymoon.

Derek shows breasts and buns, Julie Andrews has a pokie, and the naked porn actresses include Dorothy LeMay, Serena, Constance Money, Annette Haven and more. I am including the original images slightly reworked, and new ones of the major stars.

IMDb currently has this one at 5.6, with very little variation by sex or age. I find that it has not aged well for me. I was acutely aware of Bo's inability to act this time through, and find that I am finally tired of Moore's lovable drunk character. I was also more irritated than before by the dark lighting in the Bo Derek sex scene. Dudley Moore was supposedly an Oscar Winning composer, and Mancini did the music for this, but didn't manage even one notable tune this time, although he did receive an Oscar nomination. Something the caliber of Days of Wine and Roses or Moon River would have helped. It is, however, a must see for Bo Derek fans, and has become a part of our culture, and introduced new generations to Ravel's Bolero. I am downgrading my B- to a low C+.

Annette Haven Annette Haven (widescreen) Bo Derek Bo Derek (widescreen) Constance Money Constance Money (widescreen) Dee Walace Stone Dorothy LeMay Annette Haven, Serena and Candida Royale Julie Andrews Julie Andrews (widescreen) Dorothy LeMay and Serena (widescreen) Serena Unknown

MOST POPULAR PICK-UP LINES
Followed By The Most Popular Shoot-Down Lines - The British publisher Chambers Harrap has compiled the top 10 most popular pick-up lines from around the world and put them into a book in six different languages for traveling pick-up artists. They include, "Didn't it hurt when you fell from Heaven?"..."You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day"..."The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name"...and the #1 line worldwide: "Was your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes."

* How can you see the stars in a woman's eyes when she's rolling them?
* It's a good thing throwing up is healthy for women.
* They said "most popular," not "most effective."
* Women usually reply, "YOU must've been running all day, because you are SO LAME now."
* There's also a book for women that teaches them how to say, "Do you have a barf bag?" in six languages.

MOVIES TO SHOW BARFING AND POOPING
Great, More Crap On Movie Screens - Martin Creed, former winner of the Turner Prize for modern art, is finishing up "Sick Film," his film that shows 19 different people vomiting on camera. His next cinematic art project, "S**t (Excrement) Film," will show people defecating on camera. He said it was harder to find people willing to do that on camera than to throw up. But when they started advertising in Los Angeles, they quickly got 15 people, perhaps because "L.A. represents the extreme edge of the world."

* No, it represents the land of actors who'll do ANYTHING to get into a movie.
* More likely, it's because L.A. is full of actors for whom bulimia and laxatives are no big deal.
* And you thought the sidewalks of Paris were filthy!
* The vomit movie was easier: he just showed rushes of the excrement movie to film critics, then filmed them throwing up.

WORST WRITING CONTEST WINNER
Didn't Snoopy Write That? - Retiree Jim Guigli of Carmichael, California, won this year's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the worst opening sentence of an imaginary novel. The contest is named after the author whose 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" began, "It was a dark and stormy night." Guigli's winning entry: "Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean." Guigli said he once wanted to write crime novels, but "never got a good start on it."

* Until now!
* He never became a crime writer, but his writing is a crime.
* Jackie Collins would've won, but she was disqualified for being a professional bad writer.