Tuesday

MAILBOX:

Hey, Scoop. The actress credited as Ashley Rhea in the photos from Halfway House is not Ashley Rhea but one of my faves, Ashley Fires.

Scoop's response: By golly, he seems to be right, even though the actress is listed as Ashley Rhea in the credits. The credits just flat-out seem to be wrong. This girl is too young to be the Ashley Rhea we know, and she isn't allowed to use another actress's name.

Hey, Scoop. I think the Annabeth Gish clip from The Brotherhood used a body double, since body parts & her face don't appear at the same time. Smooth edit when they slip on the shirt, though.

Scoop's response: The same thought passed through my mind, even though body doubles are extremely rare in TV shows, but we both seem to be mistaken, because Annabeth Gish did another nude scene in episode 2, and there's no doubt about this one. Here's the zipped .avi.

Hey, Scoop ... Are any of the Skinemax series 'dirtier' than the others, i.e. with a bit more full frontal or gynocam than the others?  How about natural vs. enhanced actresses?  Someone should write a comparison...

This is out of my area of expertise, as well as Tuna's. Perhaps some of you others can weigh in on this subject. Write here.

 

OTHER CRAP:

Oprah Winfrey denies carpet-munching

Beavis and Butthead in Se7en
My Little Lebowski:

Put off thy shoes from thy motherfuckin' feet, for the place on which thou art standing is holy-ass ground ...Movie superstar SAMUEL L JACKSON will voice God in a new audio version of the Bible.

Wal-Mart ... Always Low Prices. Always. OK, except maybe this once.

Mickey Spillane goes down for a dirt nap.

Like Elvis, Johnny Cash made his best career move by dying.

A filmmaker imagines the very first Howard Stern Show

The 50 most important albums of all time, well, actually 2-51, since we all know The Transformed Man is #1.

Exploitation hits the news biz. Check out the photo used to accompany a story about the Discovery launch.

Bathroom sex heats up at eateries around New York. Good reason not to touch the breadbasket.

Why the Knicks are going to get even worse.

An Open Letter to Rush Limbaugh from "Viagraholics Anonymous"

Open mike catches Bush off-guard in chat with Blair


The Vader Sessions:
"Michael Jackson Must Pay Damages to Gay Porn Director"

Borat goes to a private hunting reserve:

Borat sings "Throw the Jew Down the Well" for an appreciative audience in Arizona:

Borat on Conan:

Yahoo! has a new homepage

Safety tips from Jay and Silent Bob ...

Godstuff - an ancient clip from The Daily Show

Reservoir Ponies:

MTV's "Yo Momma" Jokes That Didn't Make the Cut

From our "Hottest spot south of Havana" department: "the use of loud Barry Manilow music to drive away late-night revelers from a suburban Sydney park is getting on the nerves of nearby residents."

MORGAN FREEMAN IN REHAB; UNABLE TO STOP NARRATING

LITTLE MAN BREAKS BOX OFFICE RECORD FOR BLACK MIDGET MOVIES

ASTRONAUTS SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETE SUDOKU PUZZLES ... Congress Questions Limited Ambition of Discovery's Mission

 

What do you get when you cross a dirt bike, snowmobile and 4-wheeler?

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Sexo Con Amor (2003)

Sexo Con Amor (2003) is the most popular movie ever made in Chile. It is a soap opera comedy exposing the bedroom habits of supposedly good Catholic Chileans. The common thread for the ensemble cast is a grammar school classroom. The primary story concerns the teacher, and her affair with a famous author, the father of one of her students. Although he writes and lectures about love and sex, he can't get along with his own wife. For her part, her artist boyfriend is too immature to suit her. The parents of another boy in the class, a butcher and his wife, are the only basically monogamous members of the cast but their sex life isn't working any better than anyone else's. He doesn't believe in foreplay, and she finds sex too painful with no preparation. Then there is a ladies' man with a very pregnant wife. When the butcher's hot niece arrives from France, all the main characters are in place.

I don't want to give away too much story, but highlights include the butcher doing his 19 year old niece on top of the vibrating washing machine, his wife masturbating with a large zucchini, and Mr. Stud becoming jealous that his pregnant wife went to the movies with an old male college classmate. He is so upset, he can't get it up to screw the new sexpot in his office.

Several comments at IMDb make special note of the fact that this film is very much about and for Chileans, and points out that, even though the country is still fiercely Roman Catholic, they don't let that get in the way once bedroom (or office) doors are closed. I enjoyed it very much as a sex comedy, and found that it covered some rather universal human foibles with wit and charm. The photography is very strong, with a rich color palette. María Izquierdo, as the butcher's wife, is hilarious with wonderful comedic expressions. The subtitles were clearly done by someone who was fluent in Spanish and English, as they didn't just translate words from Spanish to English, but captured the meaning and connotations. The DVD transfer is excellent. This is a high C+ as a foreign language comedy, and gets a very enthusiastic thumbs up from me.

IMDb readers have this at 7.2 and it won a host of awards.

María Izquierdo, as the butcher's wife, shows a breast in a bath tub scene.
Carolina Oliva, as the office sexpot, shows a breast.
Catalina Guerra, as an unstable conquest of the ladies man, shows a breast.
Javiera Díaz de Valdés, as the niece, shows full frontal.
Sigrid Alegría, as the teacher, does full frontal and rear nudity and is completely adorable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Typical B-movie horror flick from 2006 does feature a couple of nice nude scenes by Eva Derrek, but you've probably seen the rest of the film before, in one form or another.

While at summer camp, a group of teens get together in a cemetery for a little partying. The group pulls a prank on one of the guys by having a masked knife-wielding crazy chase him through the cemetery. Unfortunately, he impales himself on a fence, and develops a case of dead. The masked man takes the fall....manslaughter. Off to jail he goes.

Five years later, not-too-bright is paroled, and everyone decides to get together at the camp to talk and put the past behind them. Easy for them to say....they didn't do five years trying not to drop the soap.

Once everyone arrives (and you had to see this coming), a masked killer stalks the camp killing the friends. Perhaps it's prison boy? Perhaps it's someone else? Perhaps you don't care?

Actually, the movie's kind of fun, but you definitely can't take it seriously.

Eva Derrek

 

 

 

 

 

 

Clare Carey in Weeds.
Helena Bonham Carter in a deleted scene from La Maschera
Holly Hunter in surprisingly explicit HDTV caps from The Piano
Salma Hayek, gorgeous as ever, in Ask the Dust.
Chelan Simmons in Final Destination 3
Crystal Lowe in Final Destination 3
Barbara Crampton in From Beyond
Shira Leigh in Lucky Number Slevin
Cynthia Moura in Masters of Horror: Deer Woman
Misty Mundae in Masters of Horror: Sick Girl