Thursday

Factory Girl

Already reviewed this one at length. These DVD caps are sorta kinda better than the previous ones I did, but not by that much. The basic difference between the R-rated version and the unrated DVD was in some additional nudity from some of the minor characters. I think the Sienna Miller material was identical.

The rumor was that Sienna and Darth Vader were really getting it on in this film, If you look at collage #6 (numbered 106 in my file names), you will see his dick, but it's not inside Sienna, and it doesn't appear to be erect. They appear to be having unprotected non-sex.

 

 

The Hills Have Eyes 2

I didn't watch it. I fast-forwarded through for nudity. There is some in the opening credits, then that's it! The woman's name is Cecile Breccia

 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Klimt

(2006)

This film is purportedly a biopic of noted Art Nouveau Austrian artist Gustav Klimt, who is painted as a atheistic womanizer with several illegitimate children and an obsession with Jewesses. He is disdainful of officials and critics, and claims not to care what people think about him, but really wants his art to be accepted.

As the film opens, Klimt is delirious, dying of advanced syphilis. (Note that the real Klimt died of a stroke.) An old friend visits, and we see highlights from Klimt's life in flashback, usually through mirrors and reflections. If there is a central conflict, it is Klimt's obsession with a woman, but it is never clear which of two women. He is in Paris, receiving a gold medal for his work, and a short film is presented depicting him and a woman. He falls instantly in love with either the actress that played the woman (Georgia Reeve) or the real woman, Lea de Castro (Saffron Burrows).

He is later summoned to an apartment, where Reeve, again pretending to be Burrows, seduces him naked, while Burrows and her benefactor watch through a two way mirror. Then Burrows switches with her, and shows her buns. Note that this is the only exposure from Burrows in the film. Burrows commissions him to make two portraits, which he never finishes. Another major character is a public official, who is actually Klimt's imagination and alter ego, not to mention at least one and possibly more Klimt doubles.

Director Raoul Ruiz says that he chose to show the artist as a "phantasmagoria" and was attempting to do with film what Klimt did with canvas. You have to give the director points for imaginative experimenting but, unfortunately, that essentially means this biopic bears little resemblance to the real Klimt, and the problem is made all the greater by a studio-ordered cut from 127 minutes to 97 minutes, stranding some scenes without the necessary explanatory material that was cut. The film, at least as presently cut, just doesn't work, and I wonder if the longer director's cut would be more accessible.

The film is not without plusses. First, John Malkovich plays the title role. Second, the set decoration is wonderful, as is the cinematography. Finally, there are lots of naked and attractive women. This film will be of interest to the art film crowd and nudity buffs, and hence does have a small audience. It is a C-.

IMDb readers say 5.3. Comments and reviews are universally negative, whether reviewing the shorter producer's version, which is on the DVD, or the longer director's cut, which was seen and reviewed at some film festivals. The longer version is not available on home media. Information about the shorter version can be obtained by clicking on the image below.

Klimt (2006)

Saffron Burrows shows buns. Verena Mundhenke, Ariella Hirshfield, and Georgia Reeve show everything, as do several unknowns. Even though Georgia Reeve is credited as "Double Lea de Castro," she is not a "body double," but a separate character.

 

 

Saffron Burrows

 

Verena Mundhenke

 

 

Ariella Hirshfield

 

Georgia Reeve

 

unknowns

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Dracula, the Dirty Old Man

Today the Time Machine goes back, back, back to 1969 for a "Hankster's Babes in Bondage Classic."

 

We have Libby Caculus topless and tied up as Dracula has a little lunch.

Then an also topless Sue Allen gets the same treatment as Dracula has her for dessert.

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Fingers

(Tanya Roberts was 22!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shadow of Fear

On a rainy night, after being disappointed he blew a big deal for his firm, and being stuck in a financial mess, a drunk Harrison French (Matt Davis) accidently runs down a man and in a panic buries him by the side of the road in a shallow grave.

Harrison's father-in-law, Congressman Doug Henderson (Pete Coyote), thinks of him as a handsome loser his daughter Wynn (Robin Tunney) somehow still loves, but he's tired of bailing him out. The next morning Harrison learns through the news that the man he hit was possibly one of the two robbers at the local bank. In a panic he confesses everything to a lawyer, Ashbury (James Spader), making the serious mistake of getting a lawyer before he needs a lawyer and then telling him his darkest secret. Ashbury impressed the not too bright Harrison because he presides every Tuesday night over a meeting held in secret that is attended by Congressman Henderson and several other respectable town leaders.

Thinking everything is fine after leaving his lawyer's house he soon learns the person he killed was Chris, the junkie son of the Congressman. His mangled body was identified by an ankle tattoo by Wynn and later confirmed by DNA. Later Wynn discovers the muddy clothes her husband was wearing the night of the accident and, fearful that Harrison killed her brother, she throws them in the river.

A Detective Scofield (Aidan Quinn) is assigned the case and after being given an anonymous tip, which came from the lawyer, he brings Harrison in for questioning.

Ashbury, with the help of other members from the secret meeting, cooks up a scheme to get Harrison set free by sending the chief of police video proof that someone else not Harrison took the $200,000. Harrison soon learns that everyone in the secret society has committed a crime and now they must work for power-hungry psychopath Ashbury or else face jail time and the ruination of their respectable lives.

 

Robin Tunney

 

Lacey Chabert

 

Sarah Ann Schultz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is this stack of direct-to-video erotic thrillers that came out in the 90's. Lots of skin, some major babes...seen 'em on videotape. Own one or two. But they haven't yet made it to DVD, at least not region 1 DVD, and so here I sit wanting to cap them, wishing I could but not gonna do it from videotape. Fine. Then a while back someone posts to usenet some clips from one I was aching to see. Called Roots of Evil. Stars Brinke Stevens in a very brief, very tepid girl loving girl scene. And it stars Delia Sheppard, former Penthouse Pet who did not join the quartet of Pets who peopled every darn erotic thriller every made (that would be Julie Strain, Monique Gabrielle, Michelle Bauer and Shauna O'Brien). But she did make a bunch of movies in which she got nekkid. This one for example. Plays a stripper. Takes off her clothes. A lot.

 

And then there is Deanna Lund, which is why I thought I would really love this movie. You see Deanna was an object d' lust of mine back when I was a teenager.  Re-runs of this god-awful TV show called Land of the Giants played just about every night. This was one stinker of a show but Deanna was in it for the three years it ran ('68-'70) and she looked marvelous.  Edible. I caught every episode. Thirteen years later she doffs her top for Roots of Evil and sorta kinda kanoodles with Brinke. She was plainly uncomfortable with the idea of even kissing another woman and in the 13 years that passed between her starring role on TV and this supporting role on videotape, she did not exactly improve in the looks departments. But she is topless and still pretty enough to turn heads.

So let me repeat, the clips are not mine and I haven't a clue where they came from but they are top notch and the collages turned okay, I guess. Long story, I know. But it's a slow day.

Brinke Stevens (film clip with Deana Lund)

Deana Lund

Delia Sheppard (film clip)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Last Run

This 2004 comedy/drama is not the usual comedy/drama, because it's almost like two separate movies. The first half is a fairly dim-witted comedy about a guy who discovers his beautiful girlfriend is cheating on him, and after dumping her, is so heartsick he tries unsuccessfully to win her back. The second half is a basically mean-spirited drama about a guy who, after a failed relationship, proceeds to bed every woman he can, with total disregard for the women, and not caring who he hurts in the process. What ties all this together is that it's the same guy, in the same movie.

Steven (Fred Savage of The Wonder Years), an accountant, is devastated when he discovers that beautiful model Chloe is cheating on him. After dumping her, he realizes he is obsessed with her, and tries to re-unite, to no avail. Best-friend Jack, who is preparing to marry a girl because of her family's wealth, even though he can't stand her, councils Steven to go on a "run" and screw everything in site.

When nothing else takes Steven's mind off Chloe, he decides to follow Jack's advice, but it turns into a new obsession, and Steven finds himself spending thousands on prostitutes, and any other women who will bed him. He's having sex with five or six women a week, but is never satisfied. It causes him to lose his accounting job, and become a landscaper, just to make enough money to feed his "habit". In the middle of all this, Steven happens to run into Amelia, a high-school friend who he had a crush on. As they strike up a friendship anew, things become even more complicated.

The first half, the comedy part, drags, but as things become serious, this turns into a decent enough drama with some interesting twists. Not great, but not bad either.

Deborah Dutch Amanda Swisten Lisa Arturo Natasha Budhi Shiela Levell

 

 

 

 

 

The Virgin Bride

70's nudie classic with Edwige Fenech

The film clips include Edwige Fenech and Carroll Baker (!! Brief look at one nipple.) There is a great deal of nudity from Fenech, as illustrated in the sample snaps below. Beware: the Fenech file is a jumbo download (97 meg).

Mr Brooks

This is the film where almost everyone is Kevin Costner. I don't think Megan Brown is Coster, unless he's one helluva good actor with a tremendous make-up man. The film clip is dubbed in Russian and is violent, but the exposure is sexy, the quality is not bad at all, and it's a brand new movie which just left the theaters! Sample captures below.

Gesine_Cukrowski_in Annas Alptraum kurz nach 6. (Brand new film). Film clip here. Sample to the right
Jo Guest presumably went to Jamaica to make the appropriately titled Jo Guest in Jamaica. Film clip here. Sample to the right,
A short but sweet slo-mo clip of Kelly Brook in Three, made even sweeter by the fact that it was taken from HDTV! Film clip here. Sample to the right in actual size.
The massive ass of Kim Kardashian
A tiny, low quality little clip of Peta Wilson in The Sadness of Sex. Yes, I know it sucks, but as far as I know there is no higher quality available. It was a webcast of some kind.

 

The Comedy Wire

US troops arrested a senior member of al-Qaeda in Iraq, and he claimed that the group's supposed kingpin, Omar al-Baghdadi, doesn't really exist.  He said it's a fictional character invented by the real al-Qaeda leader from Egypt, who publicly swore allegiance to al-Baghdadi just to make it appear that he was real.  Actually, when al-Baghdadi's voice is heard on tapes threatening the West, it's an actor. 

*  Damn!  That Gilbert Gottfried is getting all the voice work! 

 



Tuesday in Congress, Arizona Rep. Jeff Flake, a fiscal watchdog, questioned an earmark of $1 million in tax money for the "Center for Instrumented Critical Infrastructure."  There was no purpose listed for the money, and Flake asked if the Center even exists.  Democratic Rep. Peter Visclosky, who chairs the subcommittee that approved the spending, admitted, "At this time, I do not know," adding, "But if it does not exist, the monies could not go to it."  That was good enough for the House, which overwhelmingly voted down Flake's proposal to strike it.  A reporter found that the $1 million is actually going to a tech consulting firm that gave $7,000 to Rep. John Murtha's campaign, but we still don't know what the $1 million is for. 


*  It will go to fund a study of why America has such a big budget deficit.


 


Despite her controversial exit from "The View," Rosie O'Donnell has no shortage of offers.  The producers of NBC's "Friday Night Lights" hope to boost its low ratings by getting Rosie to play a girls' soccer coach who's angry that most of the money in the small Texas school's budget goes to football. 

*  The producers know that if there's one thing fans of small town Texas football love, it's Rosie O'Donnell.