Monday

I was out of town yesterday and didn't catch the Sunday cable shows yet. I'm back at my desk and will review them today, but my guess is there's nothing worth seeing because none of the usual clip artists like Deep at Sea posted any clips from these shows.

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prozac Nation

(2001, 2003, 2005)

Christina Ricci film clips

Christina is the headliner in the nudity news lately because of her performance in After Life. Prozac Nation is the film that kicked off Christina Ricci's nude career, and won her the "best nude scene of the year" in 2003, the first of two times she has won.

Caps below:

 

 

Scoop's notes:

Why the multiple dates? The saga behind the release of this film is probably more interesting than the film itself.

Although that would not be difficult to achieve.

The history of yoghurt would probably be more interesting than this film. Listening to old people discuss their lumbago would probably be more interesting than this film, particularly if, unlike me, you know what the hell lumbago is.  By the way, St. Lawrence is the patron saint of lumbago, and a damned fine Seaway to boot. See, you old people, I was listening!

Ah, yes, enough of the more interesting matters. Let's return to Prozac Nation. It is the film version of Elizabeth Wurtzel's self-portrait which focuses on the battles she fought with depression in her school years. The film zeroes in on her years at Harvard as a scholarship student, during which she apparently managed to alienate everyone she came in contact with, including her family, her suitors, her roommate, and even her shrink. The film was lensed in 2000, and had various release dates come and go, having been postponed about once or twice a year until the film finally by-passed North American theaters altogether and went to cable and DVD in 2005. One of the few people who got to see it was Elizabeth Wurzel, which is fitting since it is supposed to be her autobiography. She pronounced it "horrible." On the other hand, that may not be meaningful, because if she is like the character who represents her, she gets really depressed and pronounces everything "horrible." In fact some industry insiders said that one of Wurtzel's public outbursts managed to abort the 2001 release single-handedly. The film was shown at the Toronto Film Festival on September 8, 2001. Three days later, al-Qaeda hijacked the airliners and Wurtzel promptly made some offensive public comments. Let's just say that the promotional plan for the film probably never included any Tonight Show appearances for Ms. Wurtzel.

Is the film truly "horrible"? Nah. The problem with this film is not really its quality. It was directed by an excellent helmsman, the Norwegian Erik Skjoldbjærg, who took this on as his next project after his highly acclaimed Insomnia. It features a competent central performance from Christina Ricci and a solid support cast: Jason Biggs, Anne Heche, Michelle Williams, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, and Jessica Lange. That's a lot of talent. So if quality isn't the problem, what is? Well, to be blunt, it is a boring story about a totally unlikable person, and thus fails miserably to clear the Gene Siskel Hurdle. If you aren't familiar with that term, Siskel would often get right to the point in his reviews and ask himself if he would like to have dinner with the film's characters as they discussed their interests. If the answer was "no", then why, he wondered, should he spend the same two hours with them in the theater. The central character in Prozac Nation is egotistical, condescending, whiny, antagonistic, unreliable, depressing, and depressed. Moreover, she lacks a sense of humor. Is that the kind of person you would like to have dinner with? Of course not. She would be a conversation-deadening force even if she had something interesting to say, but here she does not.

Let's face it, we can tolerate "boring" and "annoying" separately in small doses. Ben Stein? Boring as hell, but not annoying, so potentially droll and entertaining in small doses. Dick Vitale? Annoying as can be, but not boring, so able to hold our attention in bursts. But if you place boring and annoying together, they form a lethal combination. For example, how long can you listen to Bob Novak? Well, this movie is like two hours of Bob Novak.

Although if Novak looked like Christina Ricci and did his shows naked, I could tolerate him a little longer.

A little.

Not only would the Ricci character make a poor choice as a dinner partner, but she is not even the kind of person who really moves you to care about her fate at all. Even if she faced a life-threatening situation in the film, which she does in the form of suicide, the outcome wouldn't draw in your involvement because you wouldn't really care whether she lived or died.

So why release such a film?

It is a professionally crafted and performed movie, but the real problem with it, as was obviously noted by the studio execs who kept postponing its release, is that one cannot imagine why anyone else would want to watch it. One might argue that it has some artistic or educational merit, but it is completely non-commercial. I don't know if the book Prozac Nation could have been made into a watchable movie, but this review of the book gives a clue:

"By turns emotionally powerful and tiresomely solipsistic, her book straddles the line between an absorbing self-portrait and a coy bid for public attention."

A film, of course, must reduce a complex book to a two hour condensation. Perhaps the film could have worked if it had pared down the running time by discarding the "tiresomely solipsistic" parts and featuring the "emotionally powerful." Unfortunately, it took the opposite tack.

 

 

Hawke

(2010; Aussie TV)

Asher Keddie film clip. Collage below.

 

 

France comes to a halt right about this time every year, so Defoe has only one clip this week, a short one of the screen nudity legend Emmanuelle Beart, in L'Amour Interdit, way back at the start of her adult acting career. She was 20 when she made L'Amour Interdit in 1984, two years before she achieved international fame for Manon of the Spring.

(She had previously played some children's roles in the 70s).

 

 

Hard Ride to Hell

(2010)

Recent DVD release about devil-worshiping bikers looking for a wench to impregnate.

Katharine Isabelle: buns in jockey shorts, braless in tank top showing a bit of side boob.

Laura Mennell: getting ravaged and impregnated with demon seed.

various uncredited topless sacrifices.

Carrie Anne Fleming (in the last frame) managed to keep her robe on.


Pros & Cons

(2009)

Low budget indie.

Eleonora Barna: nude sex scene.


Frankenpimp

(2009)

Zero budget indie with the running time so long that it's on two DVD disks meaning that it could have used some serious editing. And there is a sequel in the works.

Vivita: rock hard pokies.

Alyssa Nicole Pallett: underwear by porn star from American Pie's Naked Mile.

Michelle Newland: sexy as nurse.

various: topless, lesbian scene.


Hot Tub Time Machine

(2010)

These shots only last a single frame.

various: hottub girls Amy Esterle (blonde) and Dawn Natalia (brunette) in bikinis in the first frame.


Wide Awake

(2007; TV)

Television movie recently released to DVD.

Missy Peregrym: cleavage.

Geri Hall: downblouse and leg.

Jane Sowerby: sexy.


Borderline Normal

(2000)

This has never been released to DVD although there are some good recordings.

Caterina Scorsone: rock hard pokies and bare buns.

Stephanie Zimbalist: having orgasm on exercise treadmill.

Lisa Pollock: underwear.

Jennifer Zurowski: tight sweater.

Lindi Lee: sexy as waitress.


Meredith Rose

Meredith Rose in "Silk 'n Blood," webisode: "The Million Dollar Shower." Full frontal but with the genitalia of a Barbie Doll (tm) and more bullet holes in her body than the late Dennis Hopper's inflatable sex doll.

Meredith as an Ed the Sock dancer.

Meredith full frontal in nude modeling shots.

 

 

 

Pics

Marie Bonnevie in Oyenstikker

 

Paris Hilton on a yacht off the coast of Sardinia this weekend

Kim Kardashian at Carmelo Anthony's wedding, July 10th (no nudity)

Kristin Lehman in Dog Park

Marlee Matlin in In Her Defense

 

Katy Perry during the filming of a recent video

 

More of Christina Ricci in After Life

Victoria Bidewell in Good Luck Chuck

Adriana Lima

Cindy Crawford

Sophia Loren

 

Clips

Leila Tong in A Very Short Life (sample below)

Lisa Martinek in Eine folgenschwere Affaere (sample below)

Lisa Martinek in Mein Weg zu dir heisst Liebe (sample below)

Rosalie Thomas in Beste Zeit (sample below)

Ali Larter in Crazy, this time in 720p

Ava Gaudet in Evil Angel

Coralie Rose, Emily Clarke, and Nicola Paige in Rise of the Footsoldier

 

 

Elsa Pataky film festival:

Clara (2002; TV)

Atraco a las tres y media (2003)

Beyond Re-Animator (2003)

Romasanta (2004)

Ninette (2005)

Manual de Amore 2 (2007)

Mancora (2008)

Santos (2008)

Give 'em Hell, Malone (2009)