Actually not all of season 1. There are six discs in the Season 1 set, but Blockbuster didn't have #4 in stock, and #3 was damaged. So this is the nudity from episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 11, and 12, but not the episodes in between. I'll review them ASAP.

This is really a marvelous series. It holds one's attention with interesting characters, great casting, and some storylines that develop along with the growth of the town in the 1870's. It does not strive for absolute historical accuracy in every detais, but it does try to show modern audiences what it would have been like to live out there. It delivers the flavor of the experience, albeit sometimes reinvented in ways we can readily grasp.  In fact, this show is too good. It stole away too much of my day. I was planning to scan the episodes in fast forward for the nudity, and I got completely hooked on the ongoing developments in the plot.

COHABITATION RISING
Shack Attack - Rutgers University found that divorce is on the decline in America, but the annual marriage rate is declining, too.  Since 1970, there's been a 50 percent drop in marriages, from 76.5 per 1,000 unmarried women to 39.9.  The reason is that more couples than ever are just shacking up.  The report's co-author says it's not good news for children or family stability, but our society is shifting from marriage to cohabitation.

*  Ironically, the only people who still want to get married and form stable families: Gays.
*  You know what they say: "Why would a man buy milk when he can live with the cow for free?"
*  On the bright side, this might make divorce lawyers suicidal.
 

PAM AND TOMMY LEE TO REMARRY AGAIN
No, Those Are Gray Tattoos - The New York Post's Page Six claims that Tommy Lee popped the question again to Pamela Anderson last Friday in Las Vegas, and she agreed to marry him for the third time.  He reportedly gave her a black diamond ring with two gray diamonds on the side.

*  And she got "Tommy" tattooed on her butt again, only this time, it's a temporary tattoo.
*  Thank God, we have Pam and Tommy to help raise the declining marriage rate!
*  It's not love: they just really need the money from a new honeymoon video.
*  The Motley Crue reunion convinced Tommy that he can stand behind around anybody if he's getting enough sex out of the deal.
 

PEOPLE DON'T WORRY ABOUT LEAVING INHERITANCES
I'll Leave Them My Visa Bill - According to a study by researchers at England's Bath and Bristol Universities, two out of three adults don't worry about leaving an inheritance to their kids when they die.  Instead, they plan to use their money to enjoy life.  This isn't just a baby boomer trend: a majority of current retirees also rejected the notion that they should be careful with their money so they could leave something behind.

*  So baby boomers aren't leaving anything because they're not GETTING anything.
*  They spent all their money on bumper stickers that read, "I'm spending my children's inheritance."
*  Hell, I don't even plan to leave the little monsters a habitable planet!
*  This is bad news both for their kids and for Anna Nicole Smith.
*  The good news for kids: you no longer have to visit grandpa in the nursing home.



MAN AVOIDS JAIL BY BECOMING A WOMAN
Only Works Once - Sretko Ickov of Dragor, Bulgaria, found an unusual way to escape a three-year jail sentence for theft.  His case took over a year to
come to trial, and during that time, he got a sex-change operation.  Under Bulgarian law, this makes him a different person than the one charged with the crime, so he could no longer be prosecuted.  He/she told the court she'd always been unhappy as a man anyway, and plans to start a new, crime-free life.  She's even fallen in love and plans to be married.

*  As soon as the guy gets out on parole.
*  She blames her life of crime on too much testosterone.
*  Frankly, I think I'd rather lose three years.
*  Can't they at least charge her as an accomplice?...Or an accessorizer after the fact?
*  It was risky: if this hadn't worked, she would've gone to an all-male prison.


PORN WATCHERS FORCED TO DO SIT-UPS
Ow! My Eye! - The Hindustan Times reports that police in Balasore, India, couldn't drive out the porn theaters, so they decided to crack down on the
audience instead.  They stopped a showing of a porn movie and forced about 200 all-male viewers, some as young as 17, to vow never to watch porn
again.  Then, to make it more embarrassing, they called the teenagers' parents, who joined a crowd of onlookers as the cops made the porn fans do 10 sit-ups each in a town square as part of a public shaming.

*  Exactly what part of them was sitting up?
*  To shame them even more, they had to strip naked to do the sit-ups...A gay porn producer filmed the whole thing.
*  The cops tried making them do squat-thrusts, but they liked that.
*  Maybe we should try publicly shaming the people who MAKE Hollywood movies.



MAN INVENTS SUPER-FAST BEER TAP
He Has A Good Head - The Wall Street Journal reports that as a college senior, Matthew Younkle dreamed of inventing a faster-flowing beer tap.  A
decade later, his invention, the Turbo Tap, is in about a thousand bars, restaurants and ballparks.  It reduces foaming so beer can flow into the glass twice as fast.  Younkle said creating it required lots of R&D, or "research and drinking."

*  But now that he can pour beer twice as fast, R&D stands for "ralphing and dozing."
*  Oprah was right: the secret to getting rich is to do something you love.
*  Of course, science will never be able to develop a tap that pours beer as fast as a college senior can drink it.


COURT ORDERS BOY TO BE A JUVENILE DELINQUENT
HA-Ha! - A 15-year-old boy in Northumberland, England, was the subject of repeated complaints to the police until he was finally hit with a court
order.  But due to a typo, the word "without" was used in place of "with," so the order says he'll be breaking the law if he goes out in public without any alcohol on him or without using threatening behavior likely to harass, alarm or distress the public.  A frustrated police spokesman said it took a long time to get this kid into court, only to have them order him to misbehave.

*  Damn liberal judges!
*  On the bright side, it's the first court order he's ever complied with.
*  So now, he's free to terrorize the town, and the paralegal is in jail.



WOMAN GETS NAKED IN COURT
Does She Do Bondage? - Nicole Babb was in a Miami-Dade County, Florida, bond hearing Friday, when she suddenly stripped naked, raised her hands in the air, then got down on all fours.  The bailiffs eventually covered her and took her away.  The judge set her bail at $5,000 on a charge of identity theft.

*  She stole the identity of Madonna, circa 1986.
*  But with all the money the spectators threw, she was able to make bail.
*  After this, it'll be really hard for her to pose as "Mike Smith."





READING MAXIM MAGAZINE VIOLATES PAROLE
Miami Vice - In the latest crackdown on sex offenders in Florida, a parolee in Miami was jailed for six days and may return to prison after police searched his home and found a sexy calendar, a racy poster and some copies of Maxim magazine.  His lawyer is arguing that Maxim is "far from obscene," but officials say this violated his ban on possessing "sexually stimulating" material.

*  So they sent him to a jail cell, where there were Penthouse posters on the walls.
*  The lawyer tried to argue that Maxim is "mentally stimulating," but he couldn't keep a straight face.
*  That's what we need to do with sex offenders: leave them no harmless sexual outlets!
*   Good thing the Clinton years are over: he couldn't even buy a newspaper.



TRABANT FUMES IN A CAN
Old Car Smell - Good news for East Germans who miss Trabants, the tiny, smoky, clanking cars that Communists used to wait years to obtain.  Thorsten Jahn of Berlin is cashing in on Soviet-era nostalgia by selling "Trabi," the canned smell of noxious Trabant fumes.  He creates it by putting cotton balls in his Trabant exhaust pipe then canning the balls. It's selling well at $4.80 (US) a can.  Jahn said he wanted to preserve the past, and Trabant smell "is something very special and scarce nowadays."

*  Unless you live next door to a garbage incinerator.
*  Wouldn't it be easier just to sell bottles of Cher's perfume?  Same fragrance.
*  Some people really miss that warm, drowsy feeling of slow carbon monoxide poisoning.
*  He's made almost enough money to buy a new BMW.






SPIELBERG PLANNING "E.T." SEQUEL
"ET 2, Brute?" - Drew Barrymore says that Steven Spielberg thinks the world needs a "feel good" movie now, so he talked to her about starring in an
"E.T." sequel.  In it, the alien returns to ask a grown-up Gertie for help in saving his family from extinction.

*  And when she can't help, the aliens destroy the Earth.
*  How could this be a feel-good movie if I've already got a bad feeling about it?
*  If you want a feel-good movie about a cute, waddling little creature struggling to survive, see that penguin movie.



ROYAL PRINCESS MADONNA
She's Now Grace Kelly - In the new Vogue, Madonna poses for elegant photos with her family, feeding the chickens at her English estate, and says she's
no longer the person she was.  She said it's hard to watch "Truth or Dare" because "I was a very selfish person.  You go through periods of your life where the world does revolve around you, but you can't live your whole life that way.  On the other hand, I kind of admire my spunk and directness."

*  And her husband still admires her bottle-swallowing technique.
*  Thank goodness, at her English estate with its staff of 40, life doesn't revolve around her.
*  She's right: the person she used to be had a forehead that moved.

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

 

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