This zipped .avi is
a massive download at 64meg, but is well worth it if Star 80 is
not already in your collection. Ten DVD-quality film clips of
Mariel Hemingway showing off her then-new store-bought
hooters as doomed Playmate Dorothy Stratten. (Movie
House Review)
This zipped .avi is
a small one, but it represents one of the greatest celebrity
nudity finds of the DVD era. As far as I know, before people
started to assemble the DVD of Baba Yaga, nobody was really aware
that some discarded footage included a full-frontal scene
performed by Carroll Baker. The film
itself is a bizarre cult item based on underground comix. It has
some unintentional laugh-out-loud moments, but also some
incredibly colorful period-based ideas about set and costume
design. In terms of 1970s nostalgia, it documents not only the way
we were, but the way we barely had enough sense to avoid. (Unless
of course we happened to be Italian.) The
Movie House Review is more about Carroll Baker than the movie,
which is mostly a curiosity.
Did you know that the two movies above, although from different
countries in different eras, have something major in common? Both
feature former sexpot Carroll Baker. Baba Yaga was made in 1973 at
the end of her sexy woman roles when she was 40ish (and still
looked darned good). Star 80 was made ten years later when Baker
had ended her Eurocrap exile (1966-1979). By that time she had
aged enough to play the sexy woman's mom!
Just for you movie geeks, here are some facial shots of Carroll
Baker from the DVD version of Baby Doll (1,
2), the controversial
film that made her a star. Scripted by Tennessee Williams, the
film was condemned by the Catholic Legion of Decency.
Here is Ms Baker as she
looks today, from the Baby Doll DVD special features.
This is a clip (zipped
.wmv) I found among the extra features on the Tanya's Island
DVD. It's the trailer for a comedy/erotic/cannibal film called
Cannibal Taboo. It stars Ashlie Rhey, who frequently appears on
this page in the caps of Crimson Ghost, Hankster and others. This
film is rather obscure. There are no caps from it in our
Encyclopedia, and I couldn't even find an entry for it at IMDb.
Here's the listing from
the Encyclopedia of Cannibal Movies. This is not for everyone,
but is a clip for you if you are into some seriously fucked-up,
brain damaged shit. Which is a strong likelihood if you're reading
my comments.
Tanya's Island (1980):
Speaking of brain damage, it's time to discuss the Canadian
masterpiece Tanya's Island, which can best be described as the
film in which Vanity gets naked constantly, starting in the opening credits,
and eventually gets sodomized by a guy in a gorilla suit.
Vanity plays an aspiring actress who seems to be involved in an
unfulfilling relationship with a sensitive artist. One night she
hears some heavy breathing upstairs in their apartment. There is a
glowing light behind the bathroom door, and when she opens
the door she is transported to a tropical island where she and her
artist are running around in flimsy clothing or no clothing at
all. Their life on the island seems to be getting along better
than their life back in Canada, except that she is in the process
of forming a relationship with a guy in a cheesy 1930s-style
gorilla suit. Given the pretentious, yet incompetent nature of
this film, and the fact that the entire island adventure is
obviously a dream, this could mean one of three things:
1. She longs for a man with a more bestial nature than her
sensitive artist.
2. She longs to have a relationship with a gorilla
3. She longs to have a relationship with a guy in a gorilla suit.
Because sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
They are the only three living beings on the island. The artist is
jealous of her relationship with the gorilla, so he traps the
gorilla and cages him. Vanity is outraged by this, so she frees
the creature, whereupon the gorilla traps Vanity and cages her.
Vanity tries to escape, whereupon the gorilla catches her, mounts
her from behind, and ....
She wakes up, and it was all a dream.
I didn't make that up. In fact I didn't make up any of the above.
That's really what the film is about.
I reckon that 1980 was an especially poor year for Canadian films,
because this ridiculous no-budget leftover from the 1970s
zeitgeist was actually nominated for a Genie, the Hoser Oscar. To
place it all in context, Meatballs was nominated for many, many
Genies that year, including Best Picture, Best Original
Screenplay, and FOUR (that's not a misprint) acting awards.
Meatballs won the Genie for Best Original Screenplay and its
female star, Kate Lynch, was honored as the Best Actress. Tanya's
Island received a Genie nomination for the best costume design.
Tanya's Island seems to think it has something to say about the
psychology of love or dreams or something, but I'm not really sure
what that might be. I know it's a very difficult film to watch. It
has almost no dialogue, the presentation is smugly arty, the
acting is sub-par, and the director is far too impressed with his
own symbolic cinematography. At one point I was exhausted and
hoping the film was near the end when I checked my DVD player and
was disheartened to discover it had only been on for 28 minutes.
To make matters worse, the DVD seems to have been created by
simply converting a VHS tape.
"Children of Men envisages a world one generation from now that has fallen into anarchy on the heels of an infertility defect in the population. The world's youngest citizen has just died at 18, and humankind is facing the likelihood of its own extinction."
Directed and co-written by acclaimed filmmaker Alfonso Cuaron
"TMNT", the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie will be the first all CG animated movie in the history of the franchise. The PG-rated movie will derive its tone from the original comic-book series and will be grittier than the previous live action pictures.
At a press briefing at the White House, the president said that if Hezbollah continued their rocket attacks on Israel, he would see those attacks as 'an assault on my vacation itself.'
"While prostitution is legal in New Zealand and police are allowed to take approved second jobs, a top officer said sex work and police work don't mix."
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Carnivale Season 2 (2005) - Part 3
There is no nudity in the final episodes of Carnivale. Tuna's summary will
appear tomorrow.
Aberdeen (2000)
Aberdeen (2000) is a joint Norwegian English production, and is a road
movie. Lena Headey plays a corporate attorney who uses too much coke and
spends her evenings having unsatisfying sex with strangers. Her mother calls,
and asks her to collect her alcoholic father from Norway and deliver him to
Aberdeen for a rehab clinic. When she finds the father, the real story
emerges. Mum is dying, and has asked daddy to finally marry her. Headley was
raised by daddy, who spent half his time working on oil platforms and the
other trying to crawl into a bottle. Daddy proves to be something of a
challenge to transport, especially since he doesn't want to go in the first
place. Along the way, Headey picks up a truck driver, Ian Hart, who actually
reaches her in bed, and helps get them all to Aberdeen. Mom, of course, wanted
to bring the two together all along.
Most, if not all, of the problems they encounter are standard set pieces,
such as a gang of street toughs, a snippy airline counter clerk who won't let
them on the plane because dad is drunk, a flat tire and more. On the other
hand, the film is character-driven and I liked the characters and cared what
happened to them. It didn't hurt that Headey, Skarsgård and Charlotte Rampling
(as the dying mother) gave excellent performances, and I also liked the Ian
Hart character, who was simply a good guy. Your enjoyment of this film will
depend 100% on your reaction to the characters played by Headey and Stellan
Skarsgård (as her father). Both gave award-winning performances, but are not
portraying the most congenial of characters.
This is a C+.
IMDb readers have this at a very respectable 7.3, with only the under 18
crowd not liking it.
Metacritic shows an average review score of 78 out of 100 and their readers
award 8.8 out of 10.
Lena Headey shows her
breasts in two scenes..
Salma Hayek in Ask the Dust
Lea Thompson in All the Right Moves
Pat's comments in yellow...
In an attempt to find every penny of revenue, US Airways plans to sell ads
on air sickness bags. The airline said they're on the back of every seat anyway
so why not make them multipurpose? And one industry consultant said, "Barf bags
have a lot of shelf life - people aren't barfing as much in planes as they used
to." As to who would want to advertise on a barf bag, he said selling an ad to
Dramamine would be "brilliant."
* Or they could advertise Shyamalan's new movie.
* Or Kevin Federline's rap CD!
Scotland's Daily Record reports that an anonymous man in Merseyside called BBC
Radio host Roger Phillips with an unusual health complaint. He said he suffered
impotence and had gotten an electronic penile implant operation in
Turkey. Unfortunately, the Turkish electronics operated on a different
frequency to British implants, and every time his neighbor used his garage door
opener, the man got an erection. He said it wasn't funny because he couldn't
leave the house like that.
* If he has an erection that won't go down, why would he
WANT to leave the house?
Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, who plays bass in his own rock band, asked the
state parole board to expunge Keith Richards' $162.50 fine for reckless driving
in 1975 from his record, so it won't mar his memories of Arkansas
* Keith has no memories of Arkansas. In fact, he has
no memories of 1975.
A study of bacterial pollution found that up to 1.5 million people are being
made sick on Southern California beaches every year
* And those are just the ones who saw Britney Spears in
a bikini.
