Thursday

Tuna
"The Prime Gig"

The Prime Gig (2001) is a film that both Scoop and I covered when it was released. I agreed that it was a near miss, but for a different reason. Scoop found the ending very weak, spoiling the film for him. I had no trouble with the hero walking into the sunset, knowing he had been royally screwed, both literally and figuratively, and trying to sort out whether to give up, or to stay in the game, this time a little wiser. Three things bothered me a lot.

First, they had a great comedy cast lead by George Wendt, and they dropped them from the story after the first ten minutes.

Second, they spent entirely too much time on a romantic relationship with Julia Ormond, and not enough on the telemarketing scams.

Third, they introduced a relationship for no reason that I could figure out between Vince Vaughn and a crippled friend.

Ormond's breast exposure was brief, and in very poor light. The good news is that some of the photography was absolutely outstanding. It is sitting at 6.4 of 10 at IMDb. I will give this a C at best. High pressure sales is interesting, the idea of the scammer getting scammed is an ok twist, the film had an amazing cast, mostly wasted, and many plot elements (such as the crippled friend) and props (Vince Vaughn had three guitars out on stands in his apartment, but not a word was ever spoken about them) led me to believe that this film was the victim of a lot of rewrites.

  • Thumbnails

  • Julia Ormond (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The Name of the Rose (1986)

    It's about damned time this film, which is right on the borderline of the IMDB Top 250, made it to Region 1 DVD. The Name of the Rose was not very popular in the USA when it was released, and the contemporary reviews were tepid (Maltin and Ebert gave it two stars and two and a half stars), but it has developed a strong following in the ensuing years. It was always popular in Europe, grossing $70 million there in its 1986 release, compared to $7 million in the USA.

    I count myself among its admirers, as does Tuna, but we had some strong and cogent dissent from one of our readers, all of which led to a comprehensive review page, maybe the best discussion of this film available on the web. You will find our spirited discussion here.

    Additional notes:

    • I was pleased with the DVD. The print is very well illuminated, even in the darkest and most macabre scenes. As you can see from the captures, even the details of the dark sex scene are quite clear. In addition to the good transfer, there are some worthwhile features. The director does a full-length commentary. (He is a gossipy and generous guy, and he's always interesting, if not very focused.) There are also two featurettes. One is a "making of" from back in 1986, and the other is a new interview with director Annaud.
    • In a spirited and realistic sex scene, Valentina Vargas (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) provides one of the more explicit gyno/procto shots ever committed to mainstream celluloid. Jean-Jacques Annaud points out in a DVD featurette that he never told Christian Slater what was coming in this scene. Slater knew that there was a love scene in the script, of course, but did not know that the director told Valentina Vargas to surprise Slater by making the scene as real as possible, and to be as aggressive as she could. Slater's natural reaction was captured on camera, and was perfect for the character, who was a naive and virginal novice monk being overpowered by a lusty peasant girl. I don't know if she actually packed it in at any time, but if not, she came damned close. You will notice that Slater's penis also makes a few appearances on camera - you'll see it featured prominently in collage #7. (At that point at least, it doesn't seem ready for action.)
    • The denizens of the Cheers bar once debated "the sweatiest movie". In that spirit, we might discuss "the movie with the ugliest cast". Three nominees come immediately to my mind. This one, Tod Browning's Freaks, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

     

     

    OTHER CRAP:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Shiloh

    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

     

    Stella Stevens

    Although The Ballad of Cable Hogue is one of the best films from famed director Sam Peckinpah, and featured a very sexy performance from Stella Stevens - almost outrageous by 1970 standards, it has never made it to DVD.

     

    I love this scene

    • Sexy Corinne Bohrer goes to a motel ice machine stark naked in Dead Solid Perfect, which was based on a Dan Jenkins novel. This film, too, has never made it to DVD. (.avi - zip) (.wmv - zip) 

     

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Graphic Response
    Two more collages from the "Classic moments in nude cinema history" collection...."Showgirls", 'nuff said.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    The Ghost's Summer O' Skinemax continues with more vids of one of his late night favorites, Ashlie Rhey. Today it's mostly breast views (with the occasional bum partial bum view) as she gets it on in a couple of slow moving love scenes from "Prelude to Love" (1995).

    Vejiita
    Lara Flynn Boyle
    (1, 2)

    		The ultra-thin star of the recently cancelled ABC series, "The Practice" getting groped in #1 and showing off her very pink nipples in #2. Scenes from the 1997 Nick Nolte movie "Afterglow".

    Tiffany Shepis
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    		The Troma regular showing off breasts and bum views in a couple of very well lit scenes from "The Deviants".

    Variety
    Gianna Rains
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    		aka Gianna Ranaudo. Here she is topless in the shower, getting out of the shower and in some love scenes from the the 1987 movie "Firehouse". This movie is a little hard to come by, but film trivia fans may find it's worth the effort to hunt it down in order to see Julia Roberts in her first movie. 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Mail Bag
    Subject: The Amazing Race

    Greetings Uncles Scoopy,

    Long time viewer of the site and just wanted to say thanks. Checking the site is part of my daily morning ritual, even before checking out the regular news sites : ) Some how seeing naked babes helps make the more traditional news easier to take.

    Anyway, I was wondering if you and the gang are watching the CBS series "The Amazing Race". There is a team made up of twins (Kami & Karli) -and they have a proclivity for sports tops and pokies. On Tuesday night's episode...to get to the final stop for that leg of the race, they swam an ice cold Andiean (sp?) lake in their sports bras - panties for one, pants for the other. Just wondering if anyone may have 'capped this.

    -CWS

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    MICHAEL DENIES "JACKSON FOUR" RUMOR
    From "Barney" Creepy To "Frankenstein" Creepy - It's rumored that Michael Jackson is about to become the father of quadruplets born to a surrogate mother. According to the National Enquirer, an unknown actress wrote him a letter of support, he asked her to have a baby for him, and she agreed. Five embryos were implanted in her womb, and four "took." Jackson's spokesman flatly denied the claim, saying, "We do not respond to these kinds of stories."

  • By "we," he meant himself and his three identical brothers.
  • Michael needs quadruplets, in case some of them get dropped off a balcony.
  • At least he's not having himself cloned, because then the kids wouldn't look a thing like him.
  • He named his last surrogate baby "Blanket," and all four of these will have the same name: "Smorgasbord."


    NEW YOUTH FAD: HANGING ON HOOKS
    A Woman Called Horse - The Coast Guard discovered a weird new fad on a sandbar in Islamorada in the Florida Keys. They found five young people who had built a bamboo tripod with meat hooks on it, and one girl was dangling with hooks embedded in her shoulders. A Guard spokeswoman said it appeared to be a daily routine: they were into tattoos and piercings, and they were just "enjoying the afternoon" and breaking no laws. She said "the hooks had been inserted in the skin in a professional manner and had drawn very little blood."

  • She had no many other piercings, she HAD no blood left.
  • In fact, they wished there'd been more blood, because they were very thirsty.
  • Breaking no laws?! Aren't there laws against hooking?
  • Just out of curiosity, what kind of professional would you call to have meat hooks embedded in your shoulders?
  • They all hooked up at one of those meat market bars.


    INMATES BREAK OUT FOR BEER, RETURN TO JAIL
    They "Headed For The Mountains" - Four inmates in the Hawkins County, Tennessee, jail whose cell doors were accidentally left unlocked escaped. But they only went as far as a nearby convenience store, bought four cases of beer, then returned to jail with it. The sheriff said he guesses he thought if they came back, they wouldn't be charged with escape, "but they were wrong." He added, "At least they came back."

  • And at least they brought enough beer for everyone.
  • That was a direct quote from Sheriff Andy Taylor.
  • They were fined four cases of beer.
  • They thought if they bought beer, a lot of women in bikinis would show up.


    SUMMER CONCERTS DYING
    They All Blame Bush - The summer concert business is dead this year, with a number of major acts, such as the Lollapalooza festival, canceling. Some make health excuses, like Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera, while Marc Anthony claimed he canceled his tour to work on an album; but Pollstar reports that people just aren't buying tickets. The major culprit is high prices. One booker said when his kids are excited about a show, then hear tickets are $300, "they get very unexcited."

  • Especially when for $15, they can buy the same CD the artist will lip-synch to.
  • If only they could download tickets for free!
  • Why pay $300 to see Britney Spears when five years from now, she'll be working in a strip club with a $10 cover?
  • If you want to see an excited crowd, try a Linda Ronstadt concert.