Countryman (1982) is a Jamaican film featuring a Bob Marley sound track, which encompasses a pretty good action film, a look at the rasta culture, and more than a little about Jamaican black magic. A young couple in a light plane, presumably smuggling pot, crashes into a swamp. They are rescued by a fisherman, Countryman, who lives off the land, moments before the police close in with helicopters. A ranking officer decides to plant evidence of gun running and a CIA plot to win points for the ruling party in the next election. The only problem is that he doesn't have the suspect. The airplane passengers, Kristina St. Claire and her boyfriend, rough it with Countryman as the boyfriend's broken leg heals. Meanwhile, the entire military is looking for them. Countryman is equal to the task.

Countryman is played by the real Countryman, who actually is a fisherman living on the beach, and posses a wonderful mixture of humor and wisdom, and a great Rasta man dialogue. The Language can be tough to understand, but there are subtitles when you get lost with the slang. St. Claire shows breasts shortly after being rescued.

IMDB readers have this at 5.5 of 10. Those who commented see it as a cult classic, and praise the non-stop Bob Marley soundtrack. I enjoyed this peak at the Rastafari culture, and found it a pretty good yarn. The transfer, unfortunately, is a rather weak 4/3. C-.

UPDATES:

Updated volumes: Maria Conchita Alonso, Sheryl Lee, Keira Knightley, Lena Olin, Juliette Binoche.

OTHER CRAP:

• Letterman's Top Ten Perks of Being a Member of the National Baseball Hall of Fame . (These were actually written by Hall of Famers)
• Americans are too stupid to understand the comedy genius of Mr Bean, or as he is now known in England, Lord Bean. He has been formally granted "Lord" status by the queen, along with fellow comic geniuses, Lord Gallagher and the late Lord Shemp. Carrot Top will not be Lord Top, but a more modest Sir Top, 13th Earl of Barneyfife-upon-Thames.
• The Internet has now surpassed television as the most consumed media of choice for teen-agers and adults up to age 34.
• "The French are not all lazy, cheating, garlic-smelling cowards with a hearty appetite for sex and little for hygiene". Why does that have quotes around it? It's from a US government manual! The little book was supplied to our troops in 1945.
• It doesn't seem possible, but Bob Dylan's new movie is even more pretentious and incomprehensible than his previous ones.
• Speaking of bad movies, one reviewer described the new j-Lo/Affleck movie as 'the worst film ever'. Apparently he hasn't seen any of Affleck's other movies.
• The Sun brings you some of the saucy pictures that have come back to haunt some established stars. It includes a picture/story about Witherspoon, so she can now complain about her Reese's Pieces appearing in The Sun
• One-third of Germans under age 30 believe the U.S. government may have sponsored the September 11, 2001, attacks on New York and Washington. And we think OUR school system can't produce people capable of thought.
• Jason Rivera interviews former recreational individual, Victoria Zdrock. (w/ naughty pictures).
• Florida to Restore Felons' Voting Rights. The Sunshine State agreed to restore voting rights to ex-cons who can show they are responsible enough to vote Republican.
• U.S. releases photos of Hussein's dead sons
• "Appearing on the Al-Jazeera network last night, former Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein interrupted a chilling message to the Iraqi people to offer a glowing assessment of the new Universal Pictures release Seabiscuit"
• The ever-sensitive Rush Limbaugh makes fun of Dan Rather's crying over a John Denver song. The audio includes the actual Rather telecast but, mercifully, no actual John Denver singing. Everybody join me now "Rocky Mountain High ... Colorado." Hey, you, in Alabama, Yes, you. I didn't hear you singin' along.
• Bryant accuser was hospitalized as a "danger to herself" four months before the alleged sexual assault.

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

PIRATE COUNTDOWN:

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

"The Fifth Element" is one of my all time favorite movies and it's been on cable about 1 billion times in the past month. So naturally, here's my tribute to Milla. These 'caps are quickies from her close up nude scenes. There are also two scenes where she gets dressed/undressed in the background, but she's a little blurry so I didn't bother with those today.

• Milla Jovovich (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

JAMES BROWN ANNOUNCES DIVORCE WITH GOOFY'S HELP
I Feel Good! - James Brown picked a novel way to announce that he and his third wife, Tomi Rea, are divorcing. He ran full-page ads in showbiz trade papers with a photo of the couple, their two-year-old son and Goofy at Walt Disney World. It includes a statement that they are separating due to their "heavy, demanding tour schedule" and "there are no hard feelings, just a mutual show business decision made by both parties."