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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Personals: College Girl Seeking
(2000)
Juliette (Renee Rea) is working on her doctoral thesis about sex
and relationships, but her paper is lacking something. Not
surprising, as she has little personal experience. She lives with
the owner of a strip club, Tera Patrick, and her boyfriend, who have
an open relationship. They suggest she turn to the personals to gain
experience that will help her with her thesis.
With all that plot nonsense out of the way, they can just show
one sex scene after another, perfectly justified by the premise. The
script eventually manages a sweet conclusion where true love
triumphs.
This is not one of the best softcores. Renee Rea does project a
likable personality on film, but the film has many problems. The
photography is poor, with too many cross fades, too many dark scenes
and too many closeups of body part. On the exposition side of the
ledger, the sound track is annoying, and there is too little story.
This is a D, but could be of interest to fans of one of the
actresses.
We have full frontal and genital closeups from Renee Rea, Tera
Patrick, Mary Shannon, Brandy Davis, Toni Taylor and body parts from
several unknowns, in girl, girl/girl, girl/girl/guy, girl/guy and
orgy variations.
IMDb has this at 4.9 with only 47 votes. It is not surprising
that the voter turnout is low, as it is not available on DVD except
for a dual region (1 and 4) English version from RLDVDs.com. Click
on the image below for info.
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Notes and collages
Gwendoline
Part seven of nine, and the last of Tawny
Tawny Kitaen
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Kill Bobby Z
An incarcerated former Marine, Tim Kearney (Paul Walker), is offered freedom by DEA agent Tad Gruzsa (Laurence Fishburne) in exchange for impersonating recently-late drug lord Bobby Z. Things don't go as planned. Bobby Z is not really dead and Gruzsa is just looking to make it look that way by killing Kearney, who ends up on the run with
the 6-year-old son of the real Bobby Z.
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Items not available on DVD
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Slow Burn
This 2005 crime thriller, sporting a great cast, is full of twists and
turns. Unfortunately, it may be too messy and convoluted for viewers who
don't pay close attention to all the details. The ending almost makes it
worth wading through the messiness, however.
A district attorney has 24 hours to identify a street gang leader who
is on the verge of buying valuable property in the middle of town, through
a shell corporation. The gang guy has been able to elude police for some
time by concealing his identity. Only a few trusted gang members know what
he looks like.
Meantime, an assistant DA who also happens to be the DA's lover has
been involved in a shooting where she claims to have shot the assailant,
an acquaintance, to avoid being raped. Unfortunately for her, others are
coming forward to accuse her not only of murder, but also of complicity
with the gang leader.
The ending is slam-bang, and the cast is top-notch. It's a shame that
they let the first part of the film be so confusing, but it still is worth
watching.
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Jolene Blalock |
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We've seen Madeline Zima. Here are three more videos from Californication
Virginie Ledoyen in
Heroines
And one of Joanna Pacula
in Gorky Park |
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On the public/paparazzi side, we have three of Claire Danes falling our of
her dress. Her breast is completely exposed in the third one. |
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And a great Weeds poster of Mary-Louise Parker and a snake |
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The following very brief film clips are from Defoe. The Depardieu
collages are Charlie's |
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Julie Depardieu in Qui m Aime me Suive |
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Emmanuelle Seigner in La Divine Poursuite |
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The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
An unnamed source close to Lindsay Lohan told The Insider that her arrest is
all a big misunderstanding. The pal said Lohan did fall off the wagon and drink
that night, but she wasn't chasing her assistant's mom; that must've been the
paparazzi. The police unfairly zeroed in on her when they arrived in the
parking lot and forced her to take a breath test. And the cocaine in her pocket
wasn't hers: she was wearing someone else's pants.
* Just her luck: the first time she wears clothes in
public in months, and this happens!
* They belonged to some coke dealer she innocently happened to be hanging out
with.
Legal experts told the A.P. that Lohan likely faces 180 days in jail on the
charges against her. One top Century City attorney said her only hope to cut
that is to "change her alleged friends" who are giving her drugs, get clean and
sober, and get into a real rehab clinic, not a posh resort. He said he'd tell
her to "do a 360-degree turn."
* The California bar exam doesn't have a geometry
section.
Painesville, Ohio, Judge Michael Cicconetti is famous for his creative
sentences involving animals, such as forcing a couple who stole a Baby Jesus
figure to dress as Mary and Joseph and walk a donkey through town. Now, he's
outdone himself with three men who pleaded guilty to soliciting sex. He will
suspend their 30-day sentences if they take turns today standing outside the
courthouse in a bright yellow chicken costume. It's inspired by Nevada's legal
brothel, the Chicken Ranch. The men also have to carry a sign reading, "No
Chicken Ranch in Painesville."
* The judge warned them that if they do this again,
they'll fry!
A survey of Girl Guides, the British equivalent of Girl Scouts, found that
today's girls want merit badges in subjects that are more relevant to the 21st
century than traditional camping and craft skills. They ranked "managing money
and debt" as the most important skill deserving of a merit badge. This was
followed by requests for merit badges in reducing the size of your carbon
footprint; assembling prefab, flat-pack furniture; and safe sex.
* The Girl Guides are like Girl Scouts who've lost their
cookies.
* Any girl who wears a merit badge for safe sex is guaranteed to get a date for
the prom.
According to the 2007 Wasting Time Survey by Salary.com, the average office
worker wasting 1.7 hours of every 8.5-hour work day. The #1 time-waster, cited
by over a third of workers, was surfing the Internet, followed by doing personal
business, making personal phone calls and taking long breaks. When asked why
they waste so much time, the top reply was that they "don't have enough work to
do," followed by "my hours are too long."
* 100 percent of respondents filled out this survey at
work.
HEADLINE OF THE DAY! From The Gainesville, Florida,
Sun: "Keep Windows Closed During a Hurricane"
* This explains why Floridians suffer so much damage
when
there's a hurricane.
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