Friday

 

 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Personals: College Girl Seeking

(2000)

Juliette (Renee Rea) is working on her doctoral thesis about sex and relationships, but her paper is lacking something. Not surprising, as she has little personal experience. She lives with the owner of a strip club, Tera Patrick, and her boyfriend, who have an open relationship. They suggest she turn to the personals to gain experience that will help her with her thesis.

With all that plot nonsense out of the way, they can just show one sex scene after another, perfectly justified by the premise. The script eventually manages a sweet conclusion where true love triumphs.

This is not one of the best softcores. Renee Rea does project a likable personality on film, but the film has many problems. The photography is poor, with too many cross fades, too many dark scenes and too many closeups of body part. On the exposition side of the ledger, the sound track is annoying, and there is too little story.

This is a D, but could be of interest to fans of one of the actresses.

We have full frontal and genital closeups from Renee Rea, Tera Patrick, Mary Shannon, Brandy Davis, Toni Taylor and body parts from several unknowns, in girl, girl/girl, girl/girl/guy, girl/guy and orgy variations.

IMDb has this at 4.9 with only 47 votes. It is not surprising that the voter turnout is low, as it is not available on DVD except for a dual region (1 and 4) English version from RLDVDs.com. Click on the image below for info.

Personals: College Girls Seeking DVD Tera Patrick (2001)

 

Renee Rea

 

Tera Patrick

 

Mary Shannon

 

Brandy Davis

 

Tony Taylor

 

unknowns

 

 

 

 

 

 


Zeta One

Today the Time Machine takes a long journey back to 1969 for a quirky flick.

Yutte Stensgaard plays strip poker, we get to see breasts and in the very last cap a quick flash of bush.

 

Carol Hawkins is a topless "Babe in Bondage", who manages to escape - only to fall off a roof to her death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Gwendoline

Part seven of nine, and the last of Tawny

Tawny Kitaen

 

 

 

 

 

Kill Bobby Z

 

An incarcerated former Marine, Tim Kearney (Paul Walker), is offered freedom by DEA agent Tad Gruzsa (Laurence Fishburne) in exchange for impersonating recently-late drug lord Bobby Z. Things don't go as planned. Bobby Z is not really dead and Gruzsa is just looking to make it look that way by killing Kearney, who ends up on the run with the 6-year-old son of the real Bobby Z.
 

 

Olivia Wilde

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Items not available on DVD

Brigitte Nielsen showed off a robo-hooter and her tush in Domino.
Carol Wayne in 1984's The Heartbreakers. I assume this was Carol's only screen nudity after more than a decade of television performances. She drowned a year later, though by the look of her I cannot figure out how.
Daphne Cheung ...

 

... and Donna Spangler in Roots of Evil.
 

Clip only for Teri Copley's body double in Down the Drain. Gal had a nice caboose, whoever she was.

 

Last up is a stripping clip of Delia Sheppard in Roots of Evil. Dark roots, I hear....in need of a touch-up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Slow Burn

This 2005 crime thriller, sporting a great cast, is full of twists and turns. Unfortunately, it may be too messy and convoluted for viewers who don't pay close attention to all the details. The ending almost makes it worth wading through the messiness, however.

A district attorney has 24 hours to identify a street gang leader who is on the verge of buying valuable property in the middle of town, through a shell corporation. The gang guy has been able to elude police for some time by concealing his identity. Only a few trusted gang members know what he looks like.

Meantime, an assistant DA who also happens to be the DA's lover has been involved in a shooting where she claims to have shot the assailant, an acquaintance, to avoid being raped. Unfortunately for her, others are coming forward to accuse her not only of murder, but also of complicity with the gang leader.

The ending is slam-bang, and the cast is top-notch. It's a shame that they let the first part of the film be so confusing, but it still is worth watching.

Jolene Blalock

 

 

 

 

 

We've seen Madeline Zima. Here are three more videos from Californication

Virginie Ledoyen in Heroines

And one of Joanna Pacula in Gorky Park

On the public/paparazzi side, we have three of Claire Danes falling our of her dress. Her breast is completely exposed in the third one.
And a great Weeds poster of Mary-Louise Parker and a snake

 

The following very brief film clips are from Defoe. The Depardieu collages are Charlie's

Julie Depardieu in Qui m Aime me Suive
Emmanuelle Seigner in La Divine Poursuite
 
 

The following Aussie film clip are is from Johnny Moronic, the Thunda from Down Unda. (Mr. Moronic's collages as well.)

Erike Heynatz in Voodoo Lagoon
Natalie Blair in Voodoo Lagoon

 

 

 

 

 


The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

An unnamed source close to Lindsay Lohan told The Insider that her arrest is all a big misunderstanding.  The pal said Lohan did fall off the wagon and drink that night, but she wasn't chasing her assistant's mom; that must've been the paparazzi.  The police unfairly zeroed in on her when they arrived in the parking lot and forced her to take a breath test.  And the cocaine in her pocket wasn't hers: she was wearing someone else's pants.   

*  Just her luck: the first time she wears clothes in public in months, and this happens! 

*  They belonged to some coke dealer she innocently happened to be hanging out with.


 

Legal experts told the A.P. that Lohan likely faces 180 days in jail on the charges against her.  One top Century City attorney said her only hope to cut that is to "change her alleged friends" who are giving her drugs, get clean and sober, and get into a real rehab clinic, not a posh resort.  He said he'd tell her to "do a 360-degree turn."

*  The California bar exam doesn't have a geometry section. 



 

Painesville, Ohio, Judge Michael Cicconetti is famous for his creative
sentences involving animals, such as forcing a couple who stole a Baby Jesus figure to dress as Mary and Joseph and walk a donkey through town.  Now, he's outdone himself with three men who pleaded guilty to soliciting sex.  He will suspend their 30-day sentences if they take turns today standing outside the courthouse in a bright yellow chicken costume. It's inspired by Nevada's legal brothel, the Chicken Ranch.  The men also have to carry a sign reading, "No Chicken Ranch in Painesville." 

*  The judge warned them that if they do this again, they'll fry! 



 

A survey of Girl Guides, the British equivalent of Girl Scouts, found that today's girls want merit badges in subjects that are more relevant to the 21st century than traditional camping and craft skills.  They ranked "managing money and debt" as the most important skill deserving of a merit badge.  This was followed by requests for merit badges in reducing the size of your carbon footprint; assembling prefab, flat-pack furniture; and safe sex. 

*  The Girl Guides are like Girl Scouts who've lost their cookies. 

*  Any girl who wears a merit badge for safe sex is guaranteed to get a date for the prom.





According to the 2007 Wasting Time Survey by Salary.com, the average office worker wasting 1.7 hours of every 8.5-hour work day.  The #1 time-waster, cited by over a third of workers, was surfing the Internet, followed by doing personal business, making personal phone calls and taking long breaks.  When asked why they waste so much time, the top reply was that they "don't have enough work to do," followed by "my hours are too long." 


*  100 percent of respondents filled out this survey at work.   



HEADLINE OF THE DAY!  From The Gainesville, Florida,
Sun: "Keep Windows Closed During a Hurricane"

* This explains why Floridians suffer so much damage when
there's a hurricane.