The Wild Wild World of Jayne Mansfield (1968) is sort of a Mondo film, which follows Jayne through Rome and Paris, then back to LA, where we see her topless scenes from Promises, Promises. Along the way, she sees the normal tourist sights, and assorted sex and nudity in parks, night clubs, and even on a nudist island. She returns to LA to find that the whole city seems to be topless.

Then, the true exercise in poor taste, and the real reason for releasing this travelogue. They break in to announce her fatal car crash, then show sons of her widower and two kids at their mansion. The narration, supposedly by Jayne herself, is well before feminism came to the fore, and the emphasis on political correctness. She advises women to use all of their assets, including large breasts, bashes gays, etc. All in all, about the only reason to see this is as a piece of history. C-.

Do or Die is a typical Andy Sidaris "bullets and babes" movie which makes essentially no sense at all. Tuna just did this a couple of days ago (see the July 22nd edition or the Tuna archive for his complete coverage), so I did something different this time. I only snapped off a few caps, and included both nude and non-nude pictures in my Movie House page, along with a lengthy write-up. I think you will find it all fairly amusing. Or not.

OTHER CRAP:

• The best quotes from new Hall of Famer Bob Uecker
• Taco Bell comes up with worst promotional idea ever - "eat here, get gas - instantly"
• Goldberg To Play Major Role in Dragonball Z Movie
• "The Man Show" juggy auditions
• Jenny from the beach.
• MPs brawled in the Japanese parliament yesterday as the ruling coalition pushed through a new law allowing Japanese troops to join peacekeeping forces in Iraq. With pictures.
• Naked Women's Basketball
• 101 Most Shocking Moments in Entertainment
• Street Terms: Drugs and the Drug Trade. The US Government has convenienty assembled a complete list of drug terms. Did you know that a marijuana brownie is known as an Alice B Toklas?
• Niagara Falls: Slowly I Turn Where the hell did that start? I suspect this is not the definitive answer.
• Straight Dope Staff Report: What's the Animals' "House of the Rising Sun" all about?: "the melody of 'The House of the Rising Run' is a traditional English ballad and the lyrics were written by Georgia Turner and Bert Martin (both from Kentucky). The song was first recorded in the 1920s by black bluesman Texas Alexander ". Was there a real "house"? There are conflicting theories, but probably not.
• Harper Lee Biography. Harper Lee is the Brady Anderson of novelists. Her enigmatic success is one of the greatest of literary mysteries. She wrote what is arguably the most beloved book of the 20th century, and has published nothing else except four mundane magazine articles. (Nobody really seems to know if she has written other unpublished works.) Some argue that her friend Truman Capote actually ghostwrote To Kill a Mockingbird, while others scoff at the suggestion. I wonder if we will ever know how her only significant published writing turned out to be a literary masterpiece. I'm guessing that the answer will remain as elusive as the secret to Brady's 50 home run season.
• The A List, noted snide celebrity gossip site, has been updated. Check out the entry for Mariah Carey.
• whatever happened to ... Roscoe P Coltrane.
• SesameSeventies.com. This site is dedicated to the Sesame Street disco albums, which were never issued on CD or cassette.
• Before He was Boo-Buried. Boo Berry is a ghost. The ghost of whom?
• Our humble Austin lad, Lance Armstrong, cruises into Paris. Lance is now 31, and only won by a minute this time. He has always won by six or seven in the past.
• Nixon OK'd Watergate break-in personally: "John . . . we need to get the information on Larry O'Brien, and the only way we can do that is through Liddy's plan. And you need to do that". Also, Nixon's dog King Timahoe peed on the rug in the Democratic Headquarters, and that rug really brought the room together.

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

PIRATE COUNTDOWN:

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

comments by Copperhead

The Affair (1996):

Hey Scoop, Raelyn Saalman was mentioned in the Funhouse recently.  Here is a review for The Affair, where she was the star.

IMDb page

DISTRIBUTOR INFO/ACTRESSES:

This movie is available new, possibly on DVD. It is part of the Eros Collection, which I think is from Playboy. The version reviewed is unrated, "Suggested for Mature Audiences due to sexual content, violence and language".  Stars Kim Blair, Jenna Bodnar,  Nancy B. Goode, Kim Lombardi,  Raelyn Saalman,  Kathleen Scott

Scoop's note: I couldn't find it on DVD. There are some pretty good Scanman non-DVD caps in the Encyclopedia, which he made from European TV. If you know where to get it on DVD, let me or Tuna know about it.

PLOT DETAILS: 

A young woman named Jennifer is propositioned by an older woman to have sex with her husband for money. Jennifer has trouble with this
decision as it is morally wrong to her but she really needs the money to help her fiancee out of debt so they can get married. There may be more to the situation than meets the eye.

Jennifer (the impossibly cute Raelyn Saalman) and her husband are in financial difficulties.  She is tempted by a woman who will pay her a large sum of money, to have an affair with the woman's husband, while she watches.  Jenna Bodnar as the woman shows everything changing after Jennifer arrives. Kathleen Scott is her very attractive blonde friend, who also shows everything in good light.  There are curves ahead in the plot department, as ulterior motives lurk behind everything. Not a great story but at least it has one. 

NUDITY: 

Not sure who all the actresses are. There was topless nudity from one as she exposed her breasts along with a new tattoo.  There were breasts and maybe buns from a partygoer having sex in a bathroom.  Nice well-lit Full-frontal exposure from Jenna Bodnar, Raelyn Saalman and Kathleen Scott.  The Saalman scenes are excellent.  Once scene has her standing still while being undressed by the husband, as the wife watches, until she is totally nude in front of the couple.  Nice natural body, very cute face.  Worth the price of admission alone.

FINAL COMMENTS: 

I bought this movie when I saw it was Unrated and had Raelyn, who I had seen in other movies, which were either not Unrated versions, or her exposure was otherwise limited.   Raelyn usually plays a sister or brother's girlfriend (Friend of the Family) or the wife of a cheating husband  (Animal Instincts/Animal Attraction????) - supporting roles only.  I wanted to see her as the star, with more exposure.  Some of these Eros titles, especially the R-Rated versions, are so tame it's not funny, but that's not the case here. This movie delivered on all counts.

More Canadian movies....

"Skullduggery" (1982) aka "Warlock" aka "Blood Puzzle"
Exceptionally bad horror and a bust in the nudity department despite a promising female cast. Even the underwear shots suck.

• Claudia Udy: sexy.
• Sharolyn Sparrow: underwear.
• Wendy Crewson: underwear.
• Amanda Hancox: underwear after making love.
• Tamar Holland: very big busted. Looks like porn-star Annie Sprinkle.
• Kate Lynch: bareback 1920s style dress.
• Heather Smith: bra-less pokies in t-shirt.

"Killer Party" (1986)
Grace-B horror by Canadian schlockmeister William Fruet.

• Joanna Johnson: soap star in very thin negligee taking off panties.
• Hot tub girls: one-timers Celine Grimmer and Sherry Cook show boobs and butt.

"Spasms" (1983)
Another horror by William Fruet.

• Kerrie Keane: bra-less.
• Sandra Awalt: one-timer nude in obligatory shower scene.
• Moira Shone: hefmag model's bikini seems painted on.

"Flying" (1986) aka "Dream to Believe" aka "Teenage Dream"
From the director Paul Lynch of Bullies who featured Olivia D'Abo in a wet t-shirt.

• Olivia d'Abo: just cleavage this time.

"Humongous" (1982)
Another horror by Paul Lynch. Is as unappetizing as its name.

• Shay Garner: no nudity.
• Body dub: full frontal for Shay Garner's rape scene.
• Joy Boushel: topless.
• Janet Julian: pokies and butt (possible stunt butt).

"Act of War" (1998)
Dreadful Simandl movie re-released on DVD still with no nudity. The question is why this and not another czechploitation classic such as Chained Heat II. You can tell Chris Hyde didn't write it because there are no lesbian threesome scenes.

• Ingrid Torrance: brassiere only.

"The Top of His Head" (1989)
Arthouse film were the director/writer also tacked his name on the cinematographer and editor credits. Most movies only have one of each.

• Christie MacFadyen: partial breast.

"The Outer Limits" season seven (2001-2002)
More PG-rated nudity from the syndicated series.

• Linnea Sharples: nude in "Think Like a Dinosaur".
• Irene Bedard: underwear love scene in "In the Blood".

"Alienated" premiere season (2003-?)
More PG-rated nudity from the new tv series. Last week in episode "Something has to be Something" the husband sets up videocams in every bedroom of the house only to catch himself making whoopie to the wife.

• Sarah-Jane Redmond: nude making love.
• Iris Graham: Mercedes de la Zerda sticks her hand down the back of Iris' pants.

Last but not least:

• Gina Wilkinson: showing large hooters and flashing some fur in an episode of "Bliss". This episode also marked the English debut of Quebec singer Mitsou who showed absolutely nothing.

A few odds n' ends today....

First up, Nina Axelrod plays the sweet young thing who lost her memory after old Western star Rory Calhoun (in perhaps his most memorable role as Farmer Vincent, in 1980's MOTEL HELL) set a trap for her and her companion, catching human vittles to enhance his meat products. While her acting chops probably did not significantly enhance this campy black comedy/horror flick, the actress did go on to appear in several other movies... but lately has concentrated on work behind the scenes, as a casting director.

• Nina Axelrod

Next up, Jenny McShane barely plays a scientist in SHARK ATTACK 3: MEGALODON, the film where a prehistoric shark threatens "Mexicans" from what appears to be the one-time land of the Yugo, and her character no less fishily falls for one of the cinema's greatest romantic lines. The actress lets the goodies show for brief moments. She also appeared in the one that started it all, SHARK ATTACK... in a less-than-leading-lady role.

Rosi Chernogorova co-stars in Megalodon as Sherry, the latest conquest of the resident beach stud. They frolic in the water until frightened off by a present-day cousin of the Megalodon. While the Slavic sensation's continued success with the Silver Screen in upcoming years may be doubtful, Rosi came across as pretty sexy in what may turn out to be her sole sprockety appearance.

• Jenny McShane
• Rosi Chernogorova

Moving on to the legendary, ultra-busty Uschi Digard who displays her magnificent mammaries (and maximus gluteus) as a Nazi military secretary in THE CUT-THROATS (1969). The general urges her to get it on with a soldier once declaration of the war's end comes in. The buxom beauty, uncredited in the film, performs a sexy strip tease, before directing the soldier to man-handle her... perhaps turned on by the soldier's unusually long hair, a style well before its time in 1945. This poor man's version of THE DIRTY DOZEN was directed by John Hayes, known for sexploitationers like FANDANGO.

• Uschi Digard

And finally today....Cindy Wilks is Candy, an unfortunate prostitute coerced into a sex act by her cruel pimp (Tony DiBenedetto) in THE EXTERMINATOR (1980); the john heats things up for her in a sizzlingly mean way. Our hero is a Vietnam vet who does a turn as TAXI DRIVER's Travis Bickle, attempting to save the lady from her wayward lifestyle. Coincidentally, both the john and the pimp could be found together at a later date, to receive their comeuppance. The film marks Cindy's only stab at celluloid, save for a possible other role as a church-goer some twenty years later. (Hallelujah, and amen! She finally found salvation.)

• Cindy Wilks

As always, Mister Grundy invites you to visit his Yahoo forum, Sick Sexy Sinema Shots.

"Final Destination 2"
At last, a sequel that is as good or better that the original...Final Destination 2 is a good horror/thriller on it's own merits.

This time a premonition allows a young woman to save people from a terrible traffic accident, but like the original plot, the survivors all start dying. It's a fight to outsmart death, and is pretty enjoyable watching, if you don't mind bloody.

Ali Larter reprises her role from the first movie, but all the other characters are new. The three wreck scenes have outstanding action photography, and are very exciting to watch.

• AJ Cook, tight shirts and stripped down to her bra.
• Odessa Munroe, showing off her robo-hooters.