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Tuna
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"Expecting Mercy"
Expecting Mercy (2000) is a straight to video billed as a thriller. As a thriller, it completely fails. And while sex is a big part of the plot, there is precious little of it shown. We do have one long scene where Heather Prete shows her breasts. Prete and her boyfriend have car trouble in a small Wisconsin town, and check into a bed and breakfast. The couple who runs it don't get along, especially because he got a vasectomy without telling her knowing she wanted kids and she is now withholding sex, saying that there is no point to it.
He also runs a mail order business for arms and related training tapes, and tapes their guests with hidden cameras. Prete and her husband are on the run, and have money. Also, Prete clearly enjoys an energetic screw, and the husband wants some of that. This sets up the conflict. The reason the film has little or no suspense is that we know immediately what the evil husband is up to, and he is found out and stopped at about the midpoint of the film. The story is really more about a friendship between Prete and the landlady.
IMDb has barely heard of it, and the only review listed blames too much character development for its failure as a thriller. I agree that pace would have helped, but the basic thriller story simply wasn't there in the script. What was there was an ok character driven drama/buddy picture. This is a C-. Most of the characters are likeable, and I loved the ending.
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Carrie Hitchcock
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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OTHER CRAP:
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The Man Show's ad for "Manpons"
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The White House is angry at Stone and Parker over their new movie.
I imagine that Stone and Parker are in hog heaven.
Getting people mad at them is their prime directive. If you are a
satirist and both the White House and Barbra Streisand hate you -
"by, God, you are doing your job, sir!" - as Mr. Lebowski might
have said.
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A domestic centerpiece of the Bush/GOP agenda for a second Bush
term is getting rid of the Internal Revenue Service, the DRUDGE
REPORT has learned. If they throw in the FCC, they'd be
cookin' with gas.
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Bana, Eric Bana. The Aussie actor says nobody ever even approached
him about the Bond role. Oops.
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Big Brother girl changes her mind about being topless on page
three. The Sun pays no attention.
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Holy Hannah! Give me back that tinfoil hat. The New Republic was
right! The news of Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani's capyure
came just hours before US presidential candidate John Kerry
delivered his acceptance speech at the Democratic National
Convention in Boston. They had captured him four days earlier. The
timing of the disclosure has rekindled controversy surrounding an
earlier New Republic article specifically alleging US pressure on
Pakistan to produce a "high value target" in July during the
convention. One source in that article said that a White House
aide suggested to Pakistan’s intelligence chief that the first
three days of the Democratic convention would be the "best"
timing. Both US and Pakistani officials have denied the story -
and continue to do so!
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Dave Barry's Blog - Anybody Know Anything About Athens?
Funny thread.
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Ed Harris and William Hurt are in talks to join New Line's A
History of Violence. Viggo Mortensen will star in the
film to be directed by David Cronenberg."
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Bogus Clinton Book on Sale in China. China's copyright
thieves have struck again, concocting their own versions of
Clinton's life. In one version, he took a vow of celibacy and also
became a eunuch. Y'know, considering Hillary and all of Clinton's
scandals, he might have been better off that way.
- URL says it all:
AdamWest.com. (Kinda cool, but also kinda sad!)
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To gray or not to gray. That is the celebrity question.
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Christopher Buckley's witty overview of the convention.
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FilmJerk.com's Early Report for August 1, 2004
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Elayne Boosler thinks retro TV with 'Balderdash' game show.
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Couple kicked off Miami-New York flight because of obscene
T-shirt. Actually, despite some whining from the ACLU,
the airline has the same right as any other business to require
proper attire from its clientele. (No shirt, no shoes, no
service.). They were completely reasonable, and willing to let the
guy fly if he changed his shirt or even if he simply turned it
inside out. (The guy claimed his "right to free speech". He had
none in this case. Congress has passed no law against t-shirts,
and the First Amendment does not prohibit private individuals,
groups and businesses from requiring proper speech and behavior on
their premises. You will not be allowed to stay, for example, if
you go into St. Patrick's Cathedral shouting "Fuck Jesus" or
wearing a t-shirt with a fornicating couple on it.)
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Manager arrested for peeping in dressing rooms: "The
manager of a store in a local mall has been arrested after he
allegedly spied on a woman undressing. Eugene police said they
believe 28-year-old Jesus Manuel Trinidad spied on the customer as
she was disrobing by climbing a ladder in the back room and
peering through a crack he created in a drop ceiling above the
dressing room at Wilson's Leather." The bad news: he's been
arrested. The good news: he has sold his story as next year's big
summer comedy.
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Weekend Box Office: Slow Weekend. The Village does $50m, close to
forecasts, but other new films disappoint.
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Box Office Mojo - Biggest Second Weekend Drops.
Catwoman sneaks into the top 100 by dropping from sixteen million
to six.
- GALLUP:
Presidential Race Remains Close; No Convention Bounce
- Weekly World News trumpets:
"COUNTRY MUSIC LOWERS YOUR KID'S IQ!
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Village Idiot - The case against M. Night Shyamalan.
- URL says it all:
Doom3.com
- You think your town has Mean Streets?
A white Bengal tiger took a little stroll through the strrets of
New York yesterday.
- Oh, sure the Camp David Accords were important meetings, but
pale in significance when compared to the
'Dukes of Hazzard' Cast Members Reunion
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Historians attack Hollywood "distortions" of history.
- URL says it all:
YouHaveBadTasteInMusic.com.
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Four clips from - Open Water
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The trailer for INTERN ACADEMY - A medical comedy Written and
Directed by Dave Thomas
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The trailer for The Magic Roundabout: "Based on the
U.K. children's series, the animated film features a group of
friends who embark on a dangerous journey in an effort to imprison
their oppressor -- the evil wizard ZeeBadee."
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The trailers for Hero - Jet Li's new movie
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More amazing stuff from people with nothing better to do than
LEGOS
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Couple now up to 4,020 flip-flops for Iraqi situation, pulling
them within 30 of John Kerry's record.
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New Zealand issues a Fucking Report: Since last year's
prostitution reform legislation, the New Zealand government has
issued occupational safety guidelines for hookers and has also
issued a 'how to' guide for anyone wishing to set up a brothel.
Your Kiwi tax dollars at work. One of the best Fucking Reports
available anywhere.
- Hey, New Zealand, I got your fucking report right here. (Grabs
crotch)
A Guide to Occupational Health and Safety in the New Zealand Sex
Industry.
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Germans demand that Poland reimburse them for losses incurred in
WW2 era. Poles say: "sure, we got your compensation
right here, right near your fucking report" (grab crotches)
Other Crap archives . May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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Shiloh
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Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
picture. When
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
altogether.
Variety
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Linda Fiorentino in "The
Moderns", a flawed but sometimes interesting movie. ( .avi- zip)
(.wmv - zip)
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Olivia Williams in "The
Heart of Me", a classy but boring weep-fest made for a female
audience. ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip)
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Liz Taylor was born a
few years too early to do any significant screen nudity. By the time
the Hays Code had been replaced with the MPAA rating system, Taylor
had lost her girlish figure. She did manage to sneak in a quick
partial butt shot in the infamous epic, "Cleopatra".
(.avi- zip) (.wmv - zip)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
Shiloh says:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
Scoop says:
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
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Brainscan
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'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Scoops,
Today we have a few assorted video clips (divx avis -zipped)....
First up, former Heffmate Cynthia Myers (December '68) in "Molly and Lawless John" (1972). Such a lovely woman, such a
spectacular body, such a short career.
Next up, Cerina Vincent and two other naked babes from "Not Another Teen Movie".
- Cerina Vincent as 'Areola', the naked foreign exchange student.
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- Jennifer Leone, who is also known as Jesse Capelli, a frequently very
nekkid model and recent Penthouse Pet. Here she is wearing the same outfit as Areola at the big party.
- Jessica Asher, the 'Naked Girl in Locker Room'.
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Vejiita
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Vejiita 'caps from the 1992 Hong Kong softcore flick "Sex and Zen".
- Amy Yip, one of the most famous actresses of the Hong Kong softcore genre. Here she shows rear nudity and most of her large breasts. Throughout her career she went to great lengths to keep her goodies just out of full view....so the nipples you see are most likely a body double.
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- Isabella Chow, topless and showing rear nudity.
- Reina Murakami...all 3 B's in a lesbian scene with Isabella Chow that involves "fun with a flute".
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- Unknowns showing full frontal and full dorsal nudity.
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Variety
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Christina Ricci
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A fuller-figured Ricci showing off a truck load of cleavage in scenes from "Buffalo '66" (1998), the indie film written by, directed by and starring Vincent Gallo.
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Drew Barrymore
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Mr. Nude Celeb 'caps of Drew topless in scenes from the 1993 direct-to-vid movie, "Doppelganger".
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Melissa Pursley
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Topless in several scenes from the Citizen Kane of blood-thirsty-bondage-loving-gnome movies, "Blood Gnome" (2002). 'Caps by the Skin-man.
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