Sunday

Film clips:

Stacey Dash, who recently posed naked for Playboy at age 40, did some pretty good nudity in a couple of movies made more than a decade ago. Black Water (aka Tennessee Nights) - made almost two decades ago -  is just about impossible to find anywhere. 1995's Illegal in Blue has been available on video tape in both R-rated (87 min) and unrated (94 min) versions, but has never come to Region 1 or 2 DVD. The 94 minute version is playing on some Showtime and TMC channels this month.

Here is a good quality clip (zipped .avi) of her long sex scene in Illegal in Blue, as well as some representative caps from both films.

 

Stacey Dash in Illegal in Blue

Stacey Dash in Black Water

 

Julia Louis-Dreyfus went through some serious career doldrums in between SNL and Seinfeld. The nadir of her career had to be 1986, which featured both Soul Man and Troll. As Jerry might say, "What is the deal with your butt in Troll?" (Zipped .wmv)

 

Here's Lindsay Lohan romping around in a bikini, and even practicing her boxing, as captured (I presume) by amateur video footage. (Zipped .wmv)

 

I have no freakin' idea what Syngenor is (IMDb commenter says "Hilariously bad"), but a one-timer named Julie Kris donates her breasts to the merriment. Joe Bob Briggs reviewed the film as follows: "A goofball maniac chief executive, who gives himself neck injections with a weird green fluid, murders his senior staff after dressing them up in lingerie, and wears bunny-rabbit ears while wasting people with a super-laser death-ray machine gun."

Needless to say, I ordered a copy.

While we wait for that to arrive, here's a zipped .avi.

 

 

OTHER CRAP:

Amazon.com has 452 product reviews for a plain gallon of milk!

Latino Review has an exclusive script review of The Wolf Man!, which will star Benicio del Toro. He won't need a lot of make-up, will he?

Paris Hilton is now officially celibate

  • Wow! Maybe it does make some sense to have her play Mother Teresa.
  • She also said she's only had sex with two men in her entire lifetime.
  • (I presume she's not denying having sex with Rick Solomon.)

Landis back-up tests confirm apparent doping results.

  • It is presumed that he will be stripped of the title, which will make second-place finisher Oscar Pereiro of Spain the winner.

Ya gotta love the Kappa Alpha Theta sorority house at Vanderbilt

Daily Box Office for Friday, August 4, 2006

  • Talladega Nights opened well above estimates, with an $18 million Friday. Analysts had it pegged in the high thirties for the weekend, but it should actually hit fifty.
  • Barnyard also performed better than expected, with a $5.5m Friday. If you click on "the forecast" at the same web site linked here, you'll see that the same site pegged it at only $7.5 million for the entire weekend!
  • The other two new releases performed as expected. Buoyed by impressive reviews, The Descent managed to finish a solid third, despite being limited to 2000 theaters. It snuck in there ahead of the big holdovers, Pirates and Miami Vice, each of which is in 3000 theaters or more.
  • Miami Vice lost an alarming 2/3 of its audience from last Friday, dropping from $9 million to $3.1.

Hundreds expected to come to Masturbate-a-thon

  • Hey, Jerry Lewis has has his telethon glory days, now it's Bill Maher's turn

Lindsay Lohan Unloads in a Letter

The trailer for Mutual Appreciation

  • "Alan (Justin Rice), a musician whose band has just broken up, shows up in New York to pursue his burgeoning rock and roll career. He starts by searching for a drummer for a show he's already lined up, and otherwise goes about the mechanics of self-promotion. He finds a champion in Sara (Seung-Min Lee), a radio DJ who sets her sights on a submissive but uninterested Alan-and finds him a drummer. In his down time, Alan drinks and strategizes with his old friend Lawrence (Bujalski), a grad student, and Lawrence's girlfriend Ellie (Rachel Clift), a journalist. Alan endeavors to keep his shoulder to the wheel, while Ellie finds herself compelled by him. The attraction is mutual, but both parties are reluctant to take a next step."

The trailer for The Amateurs

  • "Six friends get everyone in their small town involved in their scheme to make a feature-length adult film in this comedy starring Jeff Bridges and Ted Danson."

The teaser for Smokin' Aces, a black-hearted action comedy.

The trailer for Borat, Sacha Baron Cohen's full-length film based upon his Kazakh journalist character.

 

 

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

The Comeback (2005)

The Comeback (2005) is an HBO offering that provides the definitive answer to the question, "What could possibly be more boring and pointless than a reality TV show?" The answer is "a show about the making of a reality show." Lisa Kudrow plays Valerie Cherish, former star of a sitcom, who is again hungry for fame, and so makes a deal to star in a new sitcom and simultaneously to make a reality TV show about her comeback. So this has an "entertainment looks at entertainment looking at entertainment" theme. Right off the bat, this is usually not a good idea. Films about show business are typically masturbatory in nature, and are full of content that might be hilarious to insiders, but are lost on us mere mortals. When will they learn that masturbation is a solo activity, and not generally a good spectator sport? I admit that the series was never meant to be watched in one long day, but I think I would have been bored to distraction 13 times had I watched it in 13 episodes.

If anyone could have pulled this off, it is Lisa Kudrow, who is both hilarious and a tremendous serious actress. She hit all the right notes in every episode, and was nominated for an Emmy. The back-up cast was not the problem either. Malin Akerman, as the up-and-coming sexpot in the sitcom was a perfect choice. And Lance Barber as the acerbic writer, Paulie G, was wonderful. The material was simply not interesting enough to carry a series.

Variety put it very well, "At its best, 'The Comeback' provides insight into a world in which turning 40 means being cast aside in the brutal quest for the next hot thing. At its worst, it's one more self-referential ode to a self-obsessed town on a channel that has overly indulged that impulse."

This is a D+. Fans of Kudrow might want to rent it, but I wager even they won't watch the entire thing.

IMDb readers say 6.7.

 

Malin Akerman had serious pokies in most of the episodes, and bared her breasts in two of them.

An unknown shows breasts tanning by a pool in Palm Springs ...
... as does DeeDee Rescher in the same scene.

Scoop's note: I haven't forgotten about my promise to seek out the Lisa Kudrow images from this series. Tuna promised us a second go-round of images.

 		 

 

 

 

 

 
Scarface (1983)

"Say hello to my little freng." Scarface is probably best known for the number of times the 'F' word is used (218 times, more than once a minute). The nudity is limited and is mainly by Dawnell Bowers aka Sue Bowser (zipped .avi - divx)

There is a brief nipple flash by Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (zipped .avi)

and lots of cleavage and leg by Michelle Pfeiffer.

 

 

Lost in Space (1998)

No nudity in Lost in Space,  just some very nice caps. Any movie with Mimi Rogers

and Heather Graham

in it has something going for it.

 

 

Hope Floats (1998)

There's no nudity in Hope Floats either, but I like Sandra Bullock

and Rosanna Arquette.

 

 

Columbo, "Exercise in Fatality," (1973)

We see Gretchen Corbett fill out a bikini very nicely in this episode of Columbo

 

 

Andromeda Strain (1971)

A brief view of a topless woman, a victim of (you guessed it  ...) the Andromeda Strain.

 

 

Being Julia (2004)

The nudity by Lucy Punch

and Annette Bening

is unfortunately hidden.

 

 

The Entity (1983)

There's nudity aplenty in The Entity from Barbara Hershey. Unfortunately, it is probably all done by a body double or by a prosthetic. (Zipped .avi)

 

 

Garden State (2004)

No nudity in Garden State, just cleavage by Natalie Portman

and Amy Ferguson.

 

 

Everything You Wanted Always Wanted to Know About Sex  (1972).

Lynn Redgrave is down to her chastity belt in the Woody Allen comedy

 

 

Better Luck Tomorrow (2003)

Ariadne Shaffer plays a prostitute and is completely naked in Better Luck Tomorrow.

 

 

Flirting with Disaster (1996)

There's no visible nudity in Flirting with Disaster, although Patricia Arquette comes close.

Mary Tyler Moore is down to her underwear,  which is a bit of a shock to the system,

as is Téa Leoni.

Cynthia Lamontagne and Beth Ortrosky provide some eye candy.

 

 

Miami Vice, "Definitely Miami," (1986)

Anybody who has seen The Boss's Wife will remember the beautiful French actress Arielle Dombasle (there's a movie for you Tuna!). In this episode of Miami Vice, Arielle keeps her bikini on but still looks stunning.

 

 

Hotel (2001)

Hotel is one of those arty-farty movies with a bit of nudity. Couldn't work out who many of the actresses were as names weren't often used and the IMDB wasn't much help.

Stefania Rocca shoves her tits into champagne glasses of milk (zipped .avi) - I'm sure it is supposed to represent something.

Two unidentified women have a bit of a lesbian scene (zipped .avi)  (you have to look closely in the split screen caps) and another woman shoves her tit into the face of a comatose man.

 

Nice eye candy by Laura Morante,

Chiara Mastroianni,

and Salma Hayek.

 

 

 

 

 
From the mailbox:

"I know some people like obscure stuff, so these are probably the most obscure I've ever seen.  The first group comes from a Turkish movie from 1973 called 3 Dev Adam (which means Three Mighty Men, or thereabouts)." 

... continued

... continued

"The others are from another Turkish movie called Thirst for Love, Sex and Murder (don't know the year
for this one).  Actually, the ones from Thirst for... are taken from a trailer on the 3 Dev Adam DVD.  I couldn't tell you who any of these women are.  The quality is also kind of crappy, but that's because the DVD producers decided to shove over 2 1/2 hours of video on a single-layered DVD.  Plus all the videos came from VHS masters to begin with.