Monday

Film clips:

You all know what The L-Word is. It's time to enjoy some of season three in high definition:

Episode 1) ... Katherine Moenning gets her top off in a kissing scene. (Zipped .avi)

Episode 2) ... Lauren Lee Smith shows a breast in a bathing scene.  (Zipped .avi)

I have no idea what Lulu is, other than that it seems to be something from German TV that lasted three and a half hours, but I know that it featured clear and well-lighted full-frontal nudity from Susanne Lothar of the hill people, and that it appears to be some crazy-ass shit. Or maybe that's just because this (zipped) .avi was mastered strangely. Oh well, who cares? As the hill people like to say, "Fire - bad. Lothar naked - good."

Kirsten Dunst manages to get through an incredibly lengthy bath scene in Marie Antoinette without showing one bit of fun stuff. (Zipped .avi) Silly girl ... but cute as a button.

Chloe Sevigny makes up for Kirsten by showing pretty much everything every chance she gets, this time in 3 Needles. (Zipped .avi) If only more female celebrities would use Chloe as their role model.

 

OTHER CRAP:

A tip o' the cap to Big Papi ... It's the first time since Mantle/Maris in 1961 that an American League player has reached 40 home runs and 100 RBI within his team's first 110 games of the season.

Reutergate: Reuters gets caught falsifying a news photograph with Photoshop

The conservative HUMAN EVENTS ONLINE picks the Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries
  • The "honorable mention" list includes two books by Charles Darwin!

What privacy? AOL Just Did the Unthinkable

Will Mr. and Mrs. Rock have some pebbles?

Hilary Clinton Hoping Her Penis Will Not be a Campaign Issue

Marvin Gaye sings America's National Anthem



Pinball Hall of Fame & Pinball Museum

"_______ ON A ______" Filmmaking Challenge
  • Bear on a Motorboat, Panda on a Scooter ... they are all here. Not just the names, but the actual films!

Bush Urges Bin Laden to Take August Off ... Warns Terror Leader of Burnout

Texas School District Bans Cleavage

Weekend Box Office Results for August 4-6, 2006
  • The new releases did quite well, especially the two wide releases. Talladega Nights did substantially better than its estimate, and Barnyard was a very pleasant surprise for its studio, doubling the Box Office Mojo prediction.
  • Overall, the box office was 18% above last year, with just about all of that $18 million accounted for by the unexpectedly strong performance of the new releases (An extra ten million from Talladega, and six million from Barnyard.)

Saudi Kingdom's Leading Executioner Says: "I Lead a Normal Life"
  • Saudi Arabia’s leading executioner Muhammad Saad Al-Beshi will behead up to seven people in a day. “It doesn’t matter to me: Two, four, 10 — As long as I’m doing God’s will, it doesn’t matter how many people I execute.”
  • An executioner’s life, of course, is not all killing. Sometimes it can be amputation of hands and legs. “I use a special sharp knife, not a sword,” he explains. “When I cut off a hand I cut it from the joint. If it is a leg the authorities specify where it is to be taken off, so I follow that.”

Christmas shopping early this year? Got $25,000 to spare? Own an exact clone of the ROBOT from "Lost in Space"

Colbert analyzes the "Coalition of the Willing" - today Palau ... Part 2

"A state Highway Patrol officer who crashed while trying to catch up to a speeding motorist got some aid from an unlikely source - the man he was chasing."

How popular is your surname in America?
  • It surprised me to find out that I made the top 7,000. (They have 50,000 in the database.)

CNN summarizes the Mel Gibson mockery

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

The Comeback (2005) - day two.

A reader requested the sexy non-nude images of Lisa Kudrow, and we aim to please, especially since I was a Kudrow fan before I watched this, and still am. In fact, my appreciation for her acting ability has probably grown, even though I didn't much like the material.

Kudrow's character in this film is married to an obviously wealthy Beverly Hills businessman. She is not working because she needs money. The whole comeback is a journey of the ego. In her heyday, she experienced fame and everything that goes with it, but that was many years before. She intends to recapture that fame. She is in for many rude shocks in the course of the series, but is constantly trying to put a spin on everything. She not only deals with hostile writers, network whims, and an in-your-face crew filming the reality show, but also faces plumbing problems at home, adopting a puppy, and a stepdaughter who is the poster child for spoiled.

Most of Kudrow's costume choices in this series called attention to her breasts. She wore a lot of tight sweaters, showed cleavage in many of them, and had serious pokies in one outfit. She showed a great deal of cleavage in one episode more or less dedicated to showing cleavage. The premise was that her fictional sitcom had been nominated for a Peoples Choice award, and she had to find a designer dress to wear to the ceremony. Her new publicity agent landed a radical new designer, who shipped the dress to her. When she put it on, the neckline plunged to her navel. Everyone convinced her that it looked amazingly hot, and since she was trying to compete with Malin Akerman for publicity, hot is exactly what she was looking for.

The punch line is that the designer shows up at the event, and informs her that she is wearing the dress backwards!

Lisa Kudrow

 

Scoop's note: most people probably feel that Kudrow is like a member of the family after having had her in their living room for ten years on Friends, but almost nobody realizes what a spectacular figure she has, because her Friends character was a hippie who was into the whole muu-muu look. To see her body displayed in clothed but spectacular fashion, check out Lucky Numbers, the "comedy" she made with Travolta and Tim Roth. (Sorry, although Lisa looks impressive, and the cast sounds OK in theory, the movie is not so good - 21% at Rotten Tomatoes.)

 

 

Angel Guts: Red Vertigo (1988)

Faced with increasing competition from television, Japanese film theaters eventually faced the same sorts of attendance problems that American theaters had faced in the period 1946-64. The Japanese studios elected to respond by showing people some things they could not see on TV: sex and violence. The so-called "pink films," softcore porn efforts with violent themes, began in 1961. Nikkatsu Studios produced action films throughout the 60s, but when they say how profitable pink films had become, they created their own line,  the "Roman Porno" (Romantic Pornography) sub-genre in 1971.  The idea behind the Roman Porno erotic product line was to package the pinku within a more commercially accessible format. Their concept worked so well that Nikkatsu ceased all other production and made nothing but Roman Porno films for 18 years, enough of them to keep each of their theaters showing a fresh triple bill every week.

Unlike the competing "Pinky Violence" films from rival Toei Studios, some of the Nikkatsu directors included genitals in the scenes as they were filmed, but always blurred the genitalia in the distributed versions in order to placate the Japanese censors.  The censor's pixelation of pubic hair is very annoying to foreigners, but that is simply a given in Japanese cinema. In fact, some of Japan's stricter moral guardians felt that even when the view was pixelated, it was arousing to think of what was behind the blur!

1988's Angel Guts: Red Vertigo is one of the last of the Roman Porno films made by the Nikkatsu Corporation. It is one of a series of Angel Guts films based on a popular Manga series. This one, like all of the Angel Guts stories, featured an abused woman named Nami Tsuchiya, and an oppressive male character named Tetsuro Muraki. The first four Angel Guts films were made by top Nikkatsu directors, and the competent execution combined with the popularity of the graphic novels made it one of their most successful series. For this fifth one, the studio actually hired Takashi Ishii, the original creator of the Manga efforts and a wannabe director, to direct his own story ...

... which goes like this:

Muraki is having a rather hard day. He's a stockbroker who has embezzled a great deal of money from investors and lost it all. His clients are ready to lynch him, and the police are looking for him. You think that's a bad day? Poor Nami works as a nurse, and is assaulted by two patients at work who want to rape her. Running home early for comfort, she finds her photographer boyfriend screwing his current model. (Saeko Kizuki). Too much tribulation for one day, you think? Unfortunately for her, her troubles are only beginning. She rushes out of her house, and is promptly hit by a passing vehicle driven by Muraki-san, who assumes she is dead and throws her into his car. When he sees her move, nothing will satisfy him except raping her, but he can't get it up. Nami finally gets angry, but gets over it in time to have several hot sex scenes with Muraki.

Some critics have trouble believing that Nami would eventually become intimate with her kidnapper, especially after a rape attempt and the other abuse she had suffered that day. Others chalk it up to Stockholm Syndrome. I save myself a lot of worry by not expecting porn to have credible motivations.

Comments indicate that some find this the best of the series, others find it the worst. I have ordered the rest of the series, so I will be able to decide for myself.  At any rate, this is a solid contribution to the genre of Roman Porno, making it a C on our scale. It will certainly not be for everyone, or for very many people at all, given the multiple rapes.

IMDb readers have this at 6.9, but based on very few votes.

Saeko Kizuki, as the model, shows breasts.

Mayako Katsuragi, as Nami, shows breasts and buns in several scenes..

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

Dann reports on Under Lock and Key:

This 1995 version of "women in prison" sexploitation flicks actually does have a plot other than just women in prison. It's weak, but hey, they tried.

An FBI agent goes undercover to make friends with a young woman who is the ex-girlfriend of a drug dealer. The girl had hidden evidence against the guy, and he wants it back. The FBI wants it too.

Things appear to be working as the agent gains the girl's confidence, but when the two women are being transferred, the dealer’s thugs hit the transfer van in a daring escape attempt, attempting to free the girl and return her to the dealer. Well ya know, no one every accused druggie thugs of being too bright, so during the fight to free the girl, they wind up killing her. Even worse, they assume that the agent was a close friend of the girl, and decide she must know where the evidence is hidden.

Things get even worse for the agent when the drug lord finds out she is an FBI agent. He has her daughter kidnapped. Now it's really war, as the agent enlists the help of a prison guard to battle the drug mob.

They get A for effort, but at the end of the day, what we are left with is still a B-movie sexploitation flick. And there's plenty of nudity so that ain't necessarily bad.

Wendi Westbrook Stephanie Ann Smith Sai Tyler Trisha Berdot others

 

 

 

 

 

The Teacher (1974) takes Angel Tompkins, an actress with a long list of TV credits and a certain cult following, and throws her into a septic tank. Watching this movie reminds me of the Randy Quaid line from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation...."Shitter's full!!!". Indeed it is. Angel plays the title character and Jay North, who had been TV's Dennis the Menace in his youth, plays the student-object of her affection. Damn, even if one considers the very different sensibilities of the 70's and today, that is one tawdry combination. The Caren Kaye movie, My Tutor, does a much better job, with far less discomfort, in portraying a May-March love affair. Both movies even have long scenes of voyeurism but in My Tutor it comes off nicely, whereas in The Teacher it is just plain icky. That someone dies as a result of peeping in The Teacher certainly adds to the ickiness. A reviewer wrote of the movie, '10', that all the ugly slapstick components warranted a slap across the wrist for everyone involved. For The Teacher a swift kick in the balls would be a more appropriate form of punishment.

Anyway, Angel gets topless for about four minutes, across several scenes, packed into five clips. (Zipped together into one file.) The first two are separate peeping events, as Angel doffs her top on her boat. Damn good binoculars the guys are looking through...they permit one to zoom right in on the goodies. Then there is a strip-to-shower scene, and two romps in the hay with Dennis the erstwhile Menace. The actress and actor involved in the hooking up have all the heat and chemistry of a reaction between dry ice and liquid nitrogen. To paraphrase the greatest living Western philosopher, this movie does the physically impossible by sucking and blowing at the same time.

 

And the first clips from Psycho Cop 2 (1993), a fine, fine feature film available only on videotape. It's truly a fine film. Fine. Really. Okay, to those who have kidnapped my wife, can I have her back now? Good.  It's an RPOS movie, by which I mean a Real Piece of Shit. Only redeeming features are the nekkid babes, who play outcall strippers.

  • The exuberantly put-together Melanie Good is the first of these. (Zipped. avi)
  • Priscilla Huckleberry's only filmed performance of any kind was in this wonderful, spectacular, delightful movie. One would think....one certainly hoped....that built as she was, there would be a place for her in all sorts of movies that required clothing removal. But no. This makes me sad. (Four .avi files zipped together.)

 

And one of Suzee Pai, former Penthouse Pet in January of 1981, in her only on-screen nekkidness in 1988's Jakarta. Not much goodie giving up by a gal who once spread herself all across the pages of a magazine. (Zipped. avi)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tara Reid has really been hitting that gym. You know, the one owned by Dusty Rhodes. The one that has alcoholic ice cream drinks and its own Krispy Kreme franchise.

Classic Flashes, part one. Joyce Hyser in One of the Guys

Classic Flashes, part two. Sissy Spacek in Welcome to L.A.

Classic Flashes, part three. A young Virginia Madsen in Class.

A young Claudia Ohana in 1982's Menino do Rio