Tuesday

Film clips:

If you are a fan of Dana Delany, you'll enjoy her full-frontal nudity in Light Sleeper, a good (four stars from Ebert) but obscure (gross: one million dollars) Paul Shrader film. (Zipped .avi) (Movie House Comments)

 (Shrader wrote the screenplays for three of Scorsese's classic films.)

  1. (8.50) - Taxi Driver (1976)
  2. (8.40) - Raging Bull (1980)
  3. (7.40) - The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)

 

 

OTHER CRAP:

Rare Photo of Florence Nightingale

More Than Ever, Hollywood Studios Are Relying on the Foreign Box Office
  • “The Da Vinci Code” ... Domestic box office so far: $217 million ... Foreign box office so far: $528 million

I am not Canadian (Parody of the Molson's commercials)



(For reference,
here is the Molson's commercial they are spoofing.)

The trailer for Infamous
  • They didn't wait very long to remake Capote - maybe a week or so. Infamous is this week's version.

The Last King of Scotland
  • "In an incredible twist of fate, a Scottish doctor (James McAvoy) on a Ugandan medical mission becomes irreversibly entangled with one of the world's most barbaric figures: Idi Amin (Forest Whitaker). Impressed by Dr. Garrigan's brazen attitude in a moment of crisis, the newly self-appointed Ugandan President Amin hand picks him as his personal physician and closest confidante. Though Garrigan is at first flattered and fascinated by his new position, he soon awakens to Amin's savagery - and his own complicity in it. Horror and betrayal ensue as Garrigan tries to right his wrongs and escape Uganda alive."

The trailer for Catch a Fire
  • "Shot on location in Johannesburg, Cape Town, and Mozambique, this political thriller is based on the real-life story of Patrick Chamusso. The film takes place in South Africa, spanning from the country's turbulent and divided years in the 1980s to the present day. Patrick (played by Derek Luke) is an oil refinery employee and soccer player who is apolitical - until he and his wife are brutalized by government-sanctioned terror squads. Shocked into action, Patrick reorients his sense of self and purpose. Even as policeman Nic Vos (Academy Award winner Tim Robbins) further insinuates himself into the lives of Patrick and his family, Patrick becomes a rebel fighter and political operative, staging daring solo attacks against the brutal apartheid regime. Change must and will come, not only for South Africa but also for Patrick, Nic, and those closest to them."

Is it true U.S. postage rates are among the lowest in the developed world?
  • We Americans have to be the biggest complainers in the world. By the standards of the industrialized world, we have cheap mail, efficient mail, and fast service in the post offices. (If you've never lived elsewhere, you have no idea how lucky we are.) Yet we complain about these things all the time. Of course, we also have low taxes and incredibly low gas prices - half the level of the other industrialized countries - but we whine about how high those are as well.

Family Guy - the best of Hitler

Jack Kerouac reads from On the Road and talks to Steve Allen and others.

"Study says teens who listen to raunchy songs have sex earlier"
  • I haven't read the study, but it's important to avoid the fallacy of "post hoc, ergo propter hoc" - assuming that one circumstance caused another because it happened earlier. You just know that the religious right will use this to suggest that suggestive lyrics caused or contributed to the sexual behavior. My own guess is that the two had a common root cause - early curiosity about sex. It seems pretty obvious that the kids who were interested in having sex soon were most likely to (a) have sex soon (b) be interested sooner in music about having sex. The music came earlier (because it's easier to do, of course), but did not necessarily cause or contribute to the other.

MEL'S MOVIES TOP DVD SALES CHART IN IRAN
  • “We’re only now discovering what a truly gifted actor Mel Gibson is,” said Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. “’What Women Want’ is my favorite.
  • Azar Zareen has invited Gibson to be a guest on his talk show. Zareen is said to be the James Lipton (”Inside the Actors Studio”) of Iran. “I would like to ask Mel Gibson about his incredible performances,” said Zareen. “At the end of the interview, I ask my famous list of questions. For instance, ‘Who is your least favorite Jew?’ and ‘What sound or noise do you hate that’s made by a Jew?’ I know Mr. Gibson will have a great answer to that one.”

The trailer for School for Scoundrels
  • "In 'School for Scoundrels,' Jon Heder plays Roger, a beleaguered New York City meter maid who is plagued by anxiety and low self-esteem. In order to overcome his feelings of inadequacy, Roger enrolls in a top-secret confidence-building class taught by the suavely underhanded Dr. P (Billy Bob Thornton). Aided by his assistant, Lesher (Michael Clarke Duncan), Dr. P uses unorthodox, often dangerous methods, but he guarantees results: Employ his techniques and you will unleash your inner lion.

    Surrounded by a band of misfit classmates, Roger's confidence grows and he makes his way to the head of the class, even finding the courage to ask out his longtime crush, Amanda (Jacinda Barrett). But Roger quickly discovers that star students have a way of catapulting Dr. P's competitive side into high gear. Soon enough, the teacher sets out to infiltrate and destroy Roger's personal and professional life. Nothing is off limits for Dr. P, not even the object of Roger's affection. In order to show Amanda Dr. P's true colors, Roger must rally his new friends and find a way to beat the master at his own game."

Pants-Off Dance-Off ... "Nude dance show is what market will ... er ... bare"

MovieJuice! looks at The Descent

Twenty years later, USFL still brings fond memories

"8 important lessons I learned from cartoons in the '80s"

Starry Night made out of LEGOs

Appalachian State: Hot, Hot, Hot! "video was created as a kind of joke, to be shared with alumni and friends of the university." Yeah, a lot like Gigli.

Manatee cruises the Hudson River

Marvel Studios Upcoming Slate ... Note that Ghost Rider will not be released in 2006.

Director Jon Turteltaub talks about the upcoming film NATIONAL TREASURE 2

The best of Ari Gold

The perfume that smells of cheese ... The guy who sat in front of me in eighth grade was a pioneer in this scent.

Janet Jackson is lookin' good again, and showing some of the goods

Headline of the day: "Tri-Cities police quickly find stolen doughnut truck"

Kevin Smith promises to reveal his next project if a member of an August 5 audience can defeat him in rock, paper, scissors.


FilmJerk.com's Early Report for August 7

LINES ALREADY FORMING FOR COMIC-CON 2007

AL GORE ACCUSED OF MANIPULATING WEATHER TO PROMOTE DOCUMENTARY

SUGAR-TITTED ACTRESSES CONDEMN GIBSON

Three clips from Waltzing Anna
  • "Waltzing Anna, the story of an unscrupulous doctor's change of heart, is set to be released in select cities nationwide on August 11th, 2006. The film stars Robert Capelli Jr. (Mail Order Bride) as Dr. Charlie Keegan, a partner in a New York City medical practice that thrives on the bureaucracy of the insurance system and naiveté of its elderly patients. Charlie's lawyer, played by Artie Lange ("Howard Stern," "Mad TV"), is unable to prevent the medical board from reprimanding him. For six months, he is forced to work in an upstate nursing home- Shady Pines. Charlie wanted to do his time and get out. Instead, his new patients and an unexpected romance with the compassionate nurse Jill, played by Emmanuelle Chriqui (In the Mix), transform him into a sympathetic man who fights for the care and protection of the people he once neglected. With memorable performances by Pat Hingle and Betsy Palmer."

Recent Heat Wave Turned Al Gore Into Real Pain in the Ass, Friends Say ... Former Veep Became Insufferable 'I-Told-You-So'
  • "The way he was acting during the heat wave, you'd think he was Nostra-fucking-damus."

Salvador Dali - Genius - Google Video

Mel Gibson Admits Jews Didn't Cause 1879 Anglo-Zulu War

You may have missed Lollapalooza 06, but many acts are already online.

The Artwork of MC Escher

The Photography of Jaisen Crockett

Coming Soon has eight clips, two featurettes, and the trailer for Oliver Stone's World Trade Center

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Heavenly Hooters (1997)

Heavenly Hooters (1997) is one of those videos where busty naked women wiggle to bad music. This time, it is 20 of them, and the vast majority give three B performances.

I don't understand the appeal of this genre at all, but I suppose I will begrudgingly award a C since this effort probably meets or exceeds genre requirements. There are problems, however. The quality leaves much to be desired; many of the scenes are grainy and washed out; and if you look carefully at Julia Parton's last image, you will see the photographer clearly reflected in the left shower door.  Nonetheless, by offering twenty semi-famous women stark naked in good light, the product seems to offer what its target customers would be seeking, and does so without cheating. Additionally, it has three levels of a "real or fake?" boob game that is harder than I would have thought.

 

Julie Strain is an exception to the 3-B rule, showing only breasts. 

Theresa Langely

Heather Kennedy

Heidi Lynn Staley

Jay Ballard

Julia Parton

Kelly Lynn Cook

Kristen Kelly

Laura Lasher

Laura Thorson

Laurie Joe Hendrix

Melinda Armstrong

Michelle Roberts

Unknown 1

Unknown 2

Unknown 3

Unknown 4

Unknown 5

Unknown 6

Unknown 7

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Such an odd collection of things to send you. First up: paparazzi thingies. I trust all will recognize Eva and Kaley and Mischa (who gets accidentally nekkid almost as frequently as Bai Ling). Amy Nuttal, Kirsty Gallacher, Natasha Hamilton and Sarah Dunn are all English birds. The last three and Rachel Hunter were captured by tabloid paparazzi...which means some very inelegant presentation and lots of stupid headlines.  Beggars cannot be choosers and when it comes to nekkid babes, we are all beggars.

Amy Nuttall Eva Longoria Kaley Couco Kirsty Gallacher
Mischa Barton Natasha Hamilton Rachel Hunter Sarah Dunn

Some collaborative work with The Big Fish. Highlights here are Helen Shaver in The Believers, Hilary Shapiro in Private Resort and Lorri Bagley in Trick.

Lorri Bagley

Trick

Lorri Bagley

Trick

Lorri Bagley

Trick

Lorri Bagley

Trick

Hilary Shapiro

Private Resort

Hilary Shapiro

Private Resort

Helen Shaver

Believers

Yumi Hirano

My Sexy Girl

Patrice Roemer

Revenge

Bessie Chan

Erotic Agent

Pat Barrington

Agony

Pat Barrington

Hungry Eyes

 

And something of my own, namely Megan Lee Etheridge in a clip (zipped .avi here) from the trailer to Alien Abduction. She gives up two of three B's and, as Meat Loaf observed, two out of three ain't bad. If the clip is meant to show the best the movie has to offer I think I am gonna give it a wide berth. Sample collage below.

Megan Lee Etheridge

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mailbox:

"Hi Uncle Scoopy! I wonder if you can find the topless foto of the Swedish biathlete Magdalena Forsberg."

Scoop's reply: "I'm not sure if is what you were asking for, and this is certainly not my area of expertise, but it seems to fit the bill."

Today's theme: Laure Marsac in non-vampire movies. L'Homme voilé

Laure Marsac: Un si bel orage

Laure Marsac: My Ward, My Keeper

 

 


Pat's comments in yellow...


Bild newspaper reports that a scientist at the Max-Planck Institute in Berlin is experimenting with an "anti-stupidity" pill that stops hyperactivity and boosts memory and attentiveness.  He said it's already shown encouraging results in mice and fruit flies.

*  They're developing fruit flies that know how to avoid bug spray...It's all VERY encouraging.



Saturday in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, Japan's world eating champ, Takeru Kobayashi, shattered the record for eating bratwursts (34-1/2) by downing 58 of them in 10 minutes.  That was 16,820 calories, 1450 grams of fat, and 19 times the daily recommended intake of sodium.  Kobayashi, who weighs just 160 pounds, said of the brats, "They're good, I want to take some home."  American Joey Chestnut finished a distant second with 45 brats, saying he had no time to prepare and "I know I could have done better; that's what hurts the ... er ... wurst."


*  The old record for swallowing bratwursts was held by Madonna.