Sunday

Tuna
"Implicated"

Implicated (1998) is a thriller about a kidnap. Amy Locane is told she will be babysitting the daughter of her boyfriend's boss, while the boss puts his wife in rehab. Locane welcomes the chance to have a little girl around since her own daughter died. What she doesn't know is that her boyfriend and his boss are kidnapping the girl for ransom. The plot thickens when the boss turns up shot in his yard. The police suspect something is up. Locane's boyfriend ends up being far worse a creep than anyone imagined.

Locane maybe shows a nipple in a very dark, effect laden sex scene. IMDB readers have this at 4.3 of 10. Some reviewers see a faint resemblance to Fargo. For me, the worst part about this film was the dialogue, which was the tritest I have ever heard in a film. This is a D. Weak, predictable plot and awful dialogue.

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  • Amy Locane (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "The Rachel Papers"

    The Rachel Papers (1989) features Dexter Fletcher as a college student about to turn 20, and preparing for his entrance tests for Oxford. He is very bright, and has enjoyed success wit girls in his peer group, partly because of carefully planned seductions, which include keeping a computer database on each girl. Then he sees Ione Skye, and decides he wants more of a relationship with an older, more aloof woman, so sets about catching her. He is rebuffed time after time, until he finally strikes paydirt making a video for her. She elects to break up with James Spader, and move in with Fletcher while her mother is out of town.

    The sex is great, but Fletcher discovers that the reality of living with a woman who uses the bathroom, messes the house, and starts her period in bed is nowhere near as great as the mystery of the unknown before she moved in. This film works primarily because of good pace and excellent production value. The plot itself is not ground-breaking. Fletcher narrates the story, and his character is totally self-absorbed (like the author of the book it was based on), so the character development was lacking in the other characters. From my viewpoint, casting Spader as his nemesis was a great decision. I don't know if it is Spader himself, or the roles he accepts, but I always want to jump up and slap him upside the head to wipe that supercilious "I'm lily white and oh so cool" grin off of his face. The most entertaining character was Fletcher's brother in law, played by Jonathan Pryce. Skye shows her breasts for about 15 minutes straight during the period she is with Fletcher. I agree with Scoopy's C. It is enjoyable enough, an easy watch, but nothing profound or memorable.

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  • Ione Skye (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)

    • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Movie Images:

    Not too much to say today. Two movies here, one I haven't seen for years, and the other I haven't seen at all.  I noticed that Graphic Response had some caps of decent size and quality, (I guess they are from TV broadcasts) so I went for it.

    • Linda Kozlowski in Backstreet Justice. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) Until I saw these caps, I had forgotten that Kozlowski was a real looker. It's not like she has top-of-mind awareness. Except for Crocodile Dundee 3, she hasn't worked in seven years. The quality is OK for non-DVD caps.
    • Lynda Carter in Bobbie Joe and the Outlaw. (1, 2, 3) I have seen this one, but don't remember much except that it starred Marjoe Gortner. I reckon it is the Citizen Kane of Preacher-turned-Actor movies. Unfortunately, the quality is lame, but Wonder Woman's breasts are surely worth another look before the DVD arrives, doncha think? Lynda was known for her healthy bod, and her stunning, light blue, almost-gray eyes. She still acts a bit. She was in Super Troopers, if I remember right. She isn't Emma Thompson in the acting department, but she was gorgeous (Miss USA), could sing pretty well, and was obviously smart enough to hold down a long conversation with lawyer Robert Altman, to whom she has been married for about two decades.

     

    UPDATES:

    • Updated volumes: Kari Wuhrer, Sarah Wynter, Kate Winslet, Robin Wright, Wendy O Williams, Cynda Williams, JoBeth Williams, Kathy Williams, Peta Wilson, Leonor Watling

     

    OTHER CRAP:

    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

     

    PIRATE COUNTDOWN:

    days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Lynda Carter topless! Wonder Woman's one and only nude screen appearance in scenes from "Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw" (1976).

    • Monica Bellucci bares breasts and bun in scenes from the controversial film "Irréversible" (2002)

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    From the DVD entitled, "Barely Burke".

    So when I popped this DVD into the ol' superdrive, my heart sank. There it was, bold as can be, a label telling me this was an E! television release. Crap! Thing's been on basic American cable. Ain't gonna be no T and not much A, dat's fo sure.

    The next set of credits had my little heart a-racing, however, because the director of this thing is Zalman King, of Red Shoe Diaries fame. Now I'm figuring I'm a-gonna see Brooke do some girl-girl action all nekkid and stuff.

    The result is decidedly much closer to my first impression than my second.

    Brooke saunters around in bikinis, sometimes in see-thru stuff and occasionally with her top off, but always with her arms or her hands doing a moderately good job hiding the goodies. I said, moderately. And when the hands or arms slipped a wee bit I was there to grab... the frames, that is. And throughout you get Ms. Burke in a thong or two... or three.

    I put these collages in some sort of order, starting with those that reveal the most and ending with those that give us cleavage or legs only. That being said, Brooke looks at least as hot in the last seven collages as she did in the previous twenty-eight. Now, if only Zalman would get her for an episode of Red Shoe Diaries, or an NC-17 rated version of this same DVD.

    Spaz
    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    Scandale (1982)

    French-Canadian sex comedy based on a true story of Quebec civil servants using government video equipment to make porn films. Lots of explicit hardcore sex by the porn stars and even the lead Sophie Lorain doffs off her clothes.


    Pinball Summer (1981) (aka Pick-up Summer)
    Another sex-comedy from the same director of Scandale.


    "The Outer Limits" season seven (2001-2002)
    More pg-rated nudity from the tail end of season seven.


    Alienated: episode "The Wet Spot"
    This episode starts with the husband leaving a mysterious glowing stain on the bedsheets after a love making session with his wife (Sarah-Jane Redmond). The episode only gets weirder after that.


    "Boulevard" (1994)
    Funhouse favorite starring Kari Wuhrer and Lance Henriksen. Some other exposure by some Canadian supporting actresses.


    Last but not least:

    Variety
    Serena Scott Thomas
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    		The UK actress (and sister of Kristin Scott Thomas) bares breasts bum and bush in scenes from "Harnessing Peacocks" (1992). 'Caps by the Skin-man.