Kalifornia (1993) is a crime/drama/thriller about a psych major (David Duchovny) who is mainly interested in serial killers. His wife (Michelle Forbes), is a wannabe photographer, and is after him to move to California. He decides to write a book on his favorite subject, and take a tour of famous murder sites to add atmosphere to his work, using her photos, then end up in California. Being starving students, they advertise for a couple to share the ride and expenses. They only get one response, and accept them sight unseen. They are a little put out that the couple are the epitome of trailer trash, but have no idea that Early Grayce, played brilliantly by Bradd Pitt is actually a serial killer. His girlfriend (Juliette Lewis) has the maturity of a about 10-year-old, but is at least washed most of the time.

Although the story is a little weak, the acting is great all around, making it worth seeing. Lewis shows a breast to say goodbye to Pitt. Forbes is seen often in a bra and panties. IMDb readers have it at 6.5 of 10. The experts disagree. Ebert awards four stars, while Berardinelli says 2 1/2. I agree more with Ebert on this one. Pitt gives a truly chilling performance as the remorseless serial killer, making the movie very effective. If the genre is serial killer movies, this is one of the better ones. C+.

• 60 great reasons to love the summer! Actually, there are 60 pictures, so more like 120 reasons.
• The esteemed My Sammy Sosa is now #8 on the all-time home run leaders. He needs only nine more to tie Killebrew for 7th, but Sammy has only 25 this year, and is hitting only .238 since he came off the DL, so 2004 will not turn out to be one of his great seasons.
• John Kerry's daughters fight over John Cusack. Hey, just make it a three-way, Cusack, and get plenty of pictures!
• George Romero's fourth and final zombie flick, now called Land of the Dead, is going to start shooting in October, probably in Pittsburgh
• `So cool' pipe break lets college kids kayak through downtown Eugene
• Urban Legends Reference Pages. Claim: The Alicia Keys song 'Diary' has prompted a deluge of calls to her old phone number. Status: True.
• Kobe Bryant Sued in Civil Court By Rape Accuser : "The Colorado woman who has accused Kobe Bryant of rape today sued the NBA star in federal court, claiming that she has suffered 'stress, mental pain and suffering' as a result of the attack last June at a Vail-area resort."
• An in-depth look at the new "Superman" project.
• Celluloid Skyline- New York and the Movies, 1930-1975
• Kingsley to play Vampire Kagan in the movie version of the 'BloodRayne' videogame
• Poker: Understanding the Power - Part 3
• The artist formerly known as Madonna (she's now Esther) needs a soundproof room for all her concert appearances. Come to think of it, that's not so weird. I also need a soundproof room when near a Madonna concert.
• Russian Chess grandmistress Maria Manakova has a unique way of popularizing the brainy side of the black and white game: by posing nude for magazines.
• 'Wack The Iraq' Game Causing Controversy. The game is located at the end of Morey's Pier in Wildwood, New Jersey. Players shoot paint balls at live human targets dressed as Iraqis.
• "Bill Clinton has two important goals these days -- promoting his new best-selling book -- and dating the Olsen twins" The article states that Clinton has kept an Olsen twins scrapbook for years, has every TV show and movie they've done on video, and even has a secret shrine to them in his Harlem office.
• Saddam has a sex change - and your tax dollars are paying for it. (Weekly World News)
• Muslim scientists are developing a bomb that turns any Christian within a 30-mile radius of its blast into a homosexual. (Guess which newspaper this comes from!)
• Conservative commentators have been lining up to denounce 'Team America: World Police' (without knowing anythign about it!). These IQ-impaired lads don't seem to realize that Matt and Trey are (1) comedians, whose job it is to make fun of people - and they do it better than anyone, and (2) middle-of-the-road Middle America conservatives who will save their harshest barbs for America's enemies and the liberal elite (Michael Moore, Streisand, the Baldwins, and Affleck)! Example: "Among the film's chief villains is Kim Jong Il, who throws UN weapons inspector Hans Blix into a huge aquarium, where he is promptly ripped to pieces by a shark."
• 6'6" female twins set record heights
• Romanian police to ban ladies over 60 years old from topless sunbathing. Dude, why not go all the way? Get rid of the naked guys and children, and the ugly chicks - legal toplessness for hot chicks only. And while you're at it, make it mandatory.
• South Africa terrorized by a gang of fat women. Didn't I see this on Monty Python? The funniest thing is that the Durban police inspector says this is not his first encounter with plus-sized gangs.
• McGruff, step aside - "kids will be introduced to a Homeland Security mascot in the form of a dog, an American shepherd." Thank God it's not a German or Belgian Shepherd, but a shepherd from the good ol' US of A. Can a dog cry "wolf", or is that post-ironic? I can't wait to hear the comments from Triumph, the insult comic dog.
• Sidd Finch may not be real, but Jennie Finch is - and she's just as good a pitcher.
• Walesa says Americans are making fun of Poles. I can't see how he could think such a thing. He must really have his bowling shirt buttoned too tight. (Seriously, Walesa has a point. America requires Poles to get a visa to visit the USA, but not Frenchmen, despite the fact that Poland is probably America's #1 ally on the continent of Europe)
• President Bush criticizes John Kerry for doing the worst, stupidest thing conceivable - agreeing with him!
• The Earth is gradually vanishing from the view of any aliens that might be looking for us, because we are using fewer technologies that leak radio waves into space. According to New Scientist our transition from radio transmissions to cable could mean that our window of detectability is no more than 100 years. (This also explains, or partially explains, why our own searches through the galaxy have revealed dead silence. "Assuming any hypothetical Aliens have developed at a similar pace to ours, and accounting for the fact that we're looking for a needle in a haystack in the first place, we shouldn't be too disheartened that we've not found anyone out there.") 
• Harry Shearer, who voices Mr. Burns, said this week that he believes The Simpsons has run its course and that he'd 'rather not be there now. 'It makes me sad,' Shearer told the Irish Examiner.
• Kerry Unveils One-Point Plan For Better America
• URL says it all: ICanStillTellYourWifeBill.com
• "Houston, we have a problem". Impressive video made by a F/X company headquartered in Capetown.
• U.S. Department of Faith Proposal to Amend United States Constitution to Conform to Biblical Principles Regarding Marriage
• Overheard eavesdropping in Hollywood. "If I saw me, I would turn the other way." - Ben Affleck.
• Straight Dope Staff Report: In Ricky Nelson's "Garden Party," who is Mr. Hughes? Short answer: Beatle George Harrison.
• 'American Pie 4' is on the fast track to production. It doesn't have a lot to do with the previous three. This time it will feature a new generation - Matt Stifler, the Stifmeister's little brother. It appears that a new actor will play that part. No news on whether any of the famous characters will appear. The director will be Steve Rash, the director of Under the Rainbow and Can't Buy Me Love. (And, yes, those were a long time ago.)
• URL says it all: FakeCrap.com
• The Museum of Modern Art: Tall Buildings
• Last week, basketball and budding acting star Rick Fox got traded. This week, he put wife Vanessa Williams on waivers.
• Feeling VERY sick? Free Next Day Casket Delivery - We Guarantee it!. Ya gotta check out the Military and Theme caskets. My favorite was Monet's Water Lilies under "master artist", or maybe the University of Arkansas casket under "collegiate" ... "This Art CasketŪ captures the tradition of the Razorback fan!". Sis boom bah for the ol' Razorback death tradition - Go Death Hogs! Browse around a bit. This "theme" stuff is awesome!
• A Romanian man says he will sell his penis. Romania is the anti-Norway. There is ALWAYS something crazy going on.
• From the "I didn't make this up" department: "Bush also said high taxes on the rich are a failed strategy because 'the really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway.' "
• Here's the trailer for Nicotina. Greed transforms into twisted desperation when a simple exchange goes awry, and the lives of amateur thieves, an obsessed hacker and ordinary people explode in a tumultuous night over a fortune in diamonds. When the haze finally clears, computers have been hacked, people have been whacked and lives have gone up in a cloud of smoke. (This offbeat Mexican dark comedy/crime drama looks like it might have some merit. Looks like a Guy Richie movie with a touch of salsa. It was nominated for 12 Ariels, winning 6.)
• The Daily Show's Lewis Black looks at "meaningless stunts"
• DVDs change the shape of entertainment
• Unsolicited toe-licking would be banned in the Netherlands under a law sought by the Dutch Labor party. The poor Dutch. What good is smoking all that reefer if you can't suck some toe afterwards?
• Author Contemplating Lawsuit Over 'The Village': "Its plot and surprise ending allegedly parallel Margaret Peterson Haddix's first book 'Running Out of Time,' published in 1995. "
• What's new on DVD in the upcoming weeks?
• Most moons have no haze layer at all - why does Titan have two? Images from the Cassini spacecraft that slipped into orbit around Saturn last month confirm that Titan, the Solar System's most mysterious moon is surrounded not only by a thick atmosphere but also by two distinct spheres of haze.
• Paris Hilton falls out of her top
• Nude olympians
• Matt Damon says: "I want to do a character-driven porn movie" The Porn Identity?
• POKER: Understanding the Power
   

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

Nielsen-Mania

• I really like The Devil's Advocate, a sleazy movie about the Devil which is great fun to watch. It has an interesting plot, an over-the-top operatic characterization from Al Pacino, and lots of entertainment value. Ranked high among the entertaining features is this great full-frontal and rear nude scene of lanky, sexy Connie Nielsen ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) .

• Both Nielsen and Charlize Theron are topless in this one as Keanu Reeves makes love to one and imagines the other. ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) 

Holly Hannah! Isn't that innocent Amelie?

• The incredibly cute Audrey Tautou, the young, French version of Audrey Hepburn, in Le Libertin. And a naked friend as well. And even screen legend Fanny Ardant hanging around fully dressed.( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) 

Two more .wmv conversions from Scoop

• Holly Hunter in Thirteen. With the slim, firm body of a teenager 40-something Holly Hunter shows her breasts, and even flashes some pubes in the last few seconds. (.wmv - zip) .

• This is kind of the grandmother of internet sex tape scandals, from back in the mid 90's or so. Mimi Macpherson, Elle's sister, tickling the taco. (.wmv - zip) .

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Junior year. Seminars in Fiction. The Anti-Utopian novel. What did I learn? Not a hint of subtlety in the whole genre. Thought police, delta semi-morons bred solely for menial labor, handsome idiots nominally in charge while pure evil pulls the strings in the background. Things that could never happen in a decent society.

Senior year. The Modern Film. Post-Apocalyptic Visions. Same ol'same ol'. Subtely comes in the form of enraged Aussie cops running over radiation-sickened evildoers in hockey masks.

So, boys and girls, let's put the two together. A Post-Apocalyptic Anti-Utopian movie is what we're talking about. And if we do the math... zero subtlety times zero subtlety... what is there to expect but zero subtlety.

Yet even in that context, the dreadfulness of Roller Blade (1985) is unexpected. One can imagine that with a defter hand the story of a religious order of women dedicated to justice in a fascist state years after the apocalypse might be entertaining stuff. Even if if were played as farce... truly the last refuge of the talentless film maker...you could see possibilities. What you don't expect is Donald G. Jackson, writer, director, producer, cinematographer, special effects technician and all-around anti-Midas of this film. He touched it and it turned to lead.

The awfulness that is Roller Blade can be illustrated with the help of a few visual aids. Said aids have nekkid gals in them, and those are the only saving graces in all the film.

Suzanne Solari plays the main good-gal, Sister Sharon Cross. Gets something real bad spilled on her skimpy outfit toward the end of the movie and takes it off as quick as can be, while making sure she gives up few goodies. She looks great in a really silly scene.

• Suzanne Solari

Stupider stuff happens early on as Michelle Bauer is roughed up by a bunch of guys and made to wrestle another woman, played by a gal named Lisa Marie, but who is really Lisa Stagno; who if you recall from the last damn movie I capped, is pornstar Crystal Breeze. This is scene right out of TBS, this guys making hot chicks wrestle thing. Michelle gives up boobs and bum. Later, she and Crystal and a second pornstar, Barbara Peckinpaugh, enter the cleansing waters maintained by the religious order, who call themselves the Bod Sisters, and are healed of all wounds. All three gals are fully frontally clean.

• Michelle Bauer (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Crystal Breeze (1, 2)

But the real chuckles come when you focus on Crystal's character. She is so earnestly in prayer in her first collage, so thoroughly cleansed in the second, all by the power of a being who we like to call The American Idol. You gotta see it to believe it, what it is these women worship. And again, in the hands of someone who knew what he was doing, the use of a banal modern symbol as a religious icon coulda been amusing. But when you are hammered over the head with it and when the whole cleansing ritual is made to work... wounds are healed, bodies made whole and beautiful again... you just gotta shake your head and mutter to yourself that this guy...Donald G. Jackson... must have been ridden out of Hollywood on a rail after Roller Blade came out.

Nope. IMDb lists terrible movie after terrible movie in which he played a fundamental part. It's then I realized. Most of the really horrible movies are made by a handful of people. We're not talking the former cast members of SNL, either; cuz for every Corky Romano or Coneheads there is an Old School or a Ghostbusters. We're talking guys who never ever made a movie that anyone would graciously call halfway decent. Bombs, stinkeroos, disasters of the first order. One after another. What I can't figure out is how that is possible. Who is making money off these things? That's what I wanna know. Only reason I watch em is to grab a few frames of Michelle Bauer, nekkid again, but that's not everyone's motive, no matter how pure it might be.

Okay, enough of that. Last thing is a collage I found hidden in the wrong file. Its a topless gal from Hot Club California; I sent in collages of other gals from this movie many moons ago. This one is Angela Olivan in her only credit on IMDb. Terrible shame.

• Angela Olivan

Today from the Ghost...a grab bag of assorted .wmvs

• Chase Masterson (zipped .wmv)...The "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" co-star goes topless and shows very brief glimpses of the other two B's as she gets it on with Don Swayze (Patrick's younger brother) in a scene from "Digital Man" (1995).

• Rachel Ticotin (zipped .wmv). Here is the "Total Recall" (1990) star topless in the tub in a scene from the 1981 Paul Newman movie "Fort Apache the Bronx".

• Rosario Dawson (zipped .wmv). The busty actress doing a topless scene in the 1998 Spike Lee movie "He Got Game" (1998). On the downside, her goodies are obscured by backlighting, shadows and/or hands.

• Jacqueline Lovell aka Sara St. James (zipped .wmv)....One of the better soft-core actress of the mid-late 90's. Here she is full frontal and being loved on by another topless woman in a scene from the Zalman King movie "Women of the Night" (2000).

"Cheerleader Camp"
Puffy 80's hairdoos and some really nice boobs may be a reason to watch this 1987 horror flick. It may be the ONLY reason.

Well, there is a plot too, of course. At a summer camp for cheerleaders, one of the cheerleaders is having nightmares as her boyfriend is having wet dreams over the other girls at the camp. When the girls start to be killed off, does she have a split personality that is killing them?

The movie is billed as a comedy/horror/thriller. By about half way through this thing, you may find yourself rooting for the killer. Nice scenery, though, and as a comedy, it's not bad. As a horror movie or a thriller, it's pretty dismal.

This movie was released in the UK with the title "Bloody Pom Poms". Huh, and I thought the British were more subtle, but the highlight of the movie was actually the "dueling boobs" scene at the beach between Teri Weigel and Krista Pflanzer......no blood, just boobs.

• Teri Weigel
• Krista Pflanzer
• Vickie Benson

NON-SPONSOR FOOD BANNED FROM OLYMPICS
My Big, Fat Greek - Organizers of the Athens Olympics announced that visitors will be barred from events if they are carrying food or drinks from anyone other than the sponsors, Coke and McDonald's. For instance, if you're eating a Burger King Whopper or drinking a Pepsi, you won't be allowed in.