Thursday

 

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Tigress

(1992)

Valentina Vargas film clips (samples below)

Scoop's notes:

This is a low-budget effort with a meandering story which takes place during the Germany of the Weimar Republic. A woman (Tigress) leaves Berlin because of her dangerous mobster boyfriend. She teams up with an American grifter, and when they reach Karlsbad, the two concoct a scheme to fleece a Texas oil millionaire, played by Hannibal from the A-Team. Meanwhile, the mobster boyfriend picks up her trail.

The acting is sometimes "expressionistic," to be charitable. The mobster boyfriend is straight out of a Jean Rollin movie. Imagine that you got a bunch of sixth graders together and told them to act like an evil mobster - well, the guy who played this role wouldn't be one of the most subtle in the class. In fact he'd probably be the least subtle unless he went to school with F. Murray Abraham.

Before the ending it's just another uninspired B film, and at least it has a compass bearing on reality. But get this ...

(spoilers, of course)

Tigress and the American have gone their separate ways. The American skips out on his hotel bill, so he is now fleeing from both the police and the mobster - on foot - and finally escapes by grabbing a freight train in the train yard. Well, he gets into a little contretemps on the train with some hobos who want to steal his clothing, so he has to jump from the speeding train to avoid being overpowered. He doesn't know where he is, but it's a desolate area somewhere halfway between Marienbad and Prague. Weary and battered, he pulls himself out of the trackside ditch and stumbles to the nearby road.

Well, guess who is parked there in the new Bugatti she fleeced from the oil millionaire?

And guess who doesn't seem surprised to see her?

Oh, by the way, she didn't know he was on that train, and he had no idea what had happened to her. They just happened to run into one another randomly, and were not surprised to do so.

Because , hey, Europe is a small continent.

(end spoilers)

There is quite a bit of nudity, including the full frontal variety, from earthy Valentina Vargas, who is probably best known as The Girl in The Name of the Rose. The only other strength of the movie is a genuine sense of visual style, and an appreciation for the styles and fashions of the 20's.

 

 

Road Train

(2010)

Johnny's comments:

"Quickie today from a low budget Australian horror film.

Road Train, aka Road Kill (which is also the name given to that truck-stalking film with Leelee Sobieski and Paul Walker), is about 2 guys and 2 girls going cross-country who are rammed by a road train and then forced off the road. One man has a broken arm the rest have just scratches, but they are stuck in the desert except the road train has stopped a short distance up the road, abandoned. So they take it, but the truck seems to take control over them or some nonsense. Oh and the truck is fuelled by blood, everyone turns on each other and the road train continues being a killing machine.

Oh, it's such nonsense, but not unwatchable and I can watch Sophie Lowe all day, whatever...

Oh, and it's always great when an Australian film is released overseas before it gets released here... Both in the US and UK over the next month.."

Here is the Sophie Lowe film footage

Collages below

 

Scoop's note: THIS explains the term "road train."

 

 

 

Pics

More versions of Paris Hilton on that yacht

A nipple from runway model Marcelle Bettar

 

Clips

Diane Kruger full frontal nudity in Inhale (720p; sample below)

Amy Beth Hayes in Misfits (samples below)

 

Eline Kuppens in Left Bank (sample below)

Sima Fisher and Dawne Furey in Death Warrior (samples below)

Tanya Clarke in Death Warrior (samples below)

Karina Testa in Ze Film (720p; samples below)

Catalina Denis in Le Mac

Meg Ryan in The Presidio - Euro cut

Kate Winslet in Holy Smoke

Asia Argento and Vera Gemma in Scarlet Diva

Sonja Richter in The Woman That Dreamed About A Man