Another of the 161 Jess Franco films, Tender Flesh stars Monique Parent, Amber Newman, Analia Ivars, and his wife, Lina Romay who is a very good looking 43 in this film. The plot, such as it is, is about a stripper (Amber) who is hired by a wealthy countess/madam (Romay) and is taken to her private island for a weekend of fun and games paid for by Ivars. The fun and games include B&D, S&M, lesbianism, and much more. There is also a very bizarre ending.

Franco, in addition to well lit full nudity and beautiful scenery, included some camera effects in some of the nude scenes, and some unusual lighting. This film is clearly soft-core porn, but it not like its US equivalent. The content is far stranger, the sets more interesting, and the nudity more sensuous. Franco fans say this might be his best film. IF you are looking for great bodies doing lots of things to each other, and a well-photographed film, this might be for you. If you are in the mood for a story, look elsewhere.

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Amber Newman (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18) Analia Ivars (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) Lina Romay (1, 2, 3) Monique Parent (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

"Knightriders" (1981)

Scoop wrote an excellent review of Knightriders (see July 23, 2000 in the back issues). As a matter of fact, that is why I bought the DVD. I find that I agree with nearly everything he said. While it is a little too long, it is a VERY good film. My one area of disagreement with Scoopy is his statement that he could have done without the exposure by Maureen Sadusk. While she is many years (and at least as many pounds) past her prime, she brought enthusiasm and a strong sense of erotic, hedonistic abandon to the small role that I found very enjoyable.

A few facts not mentioned by Scoopy -- Stephen King and his wife appeared as Hogie Man and Hogie Man's Wife in a crowd scene. It was his first and her only film appearance. The parallels between this film and the Arthurian legends extended even as far as having a Lancelot-like character who has a thing for the queen. The film was released the same year as Excalibur, and Time called Knightriders a better film. The DVD is side-boxed (black space left and right) to preserve the original aspect ration, and is a good transfer with good color saturation. For an indie, it has amazing costumes, stunts and score. The DVD contains a feature length commentary with many of the cast and crew. As Scoop said, "It's a unique and worthwhile picture that is must viewing for serious film buffs." Unlike some films where you know you are seeing something important but can't really relax and enjoy it, this one is fun to watch.

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Amanda Davies Amy Ingersoll (1, 2) Patricia Tallman (1, 2, 3, 4) Maureen Sadusk

Now here is a cinema classic, also known as the Diary of Forbidden Dreams!!! It was a disaster for Roman Polanski, as well as some respected performers. It was supposed to be a ribald comedy, but was so far off into the surreal that most people found it to be incomprehensible gibberish, and suggested that someone spiked Roman's kielbasa with LSD. Here is TomCat's description:

Sydne travels as a hitch-hiker. The last driver tries to rape her, so she runs (without luggage) to the first house she sees. It is a private boarding house. The owner is an older man (Marcello Mastroianni in lots of make-up) with a past as a mafia pimp. The chamber maid gives her a room. Someone spies on her at night, and her blouse is stolen. The next day this room is allocated to other people so she sleeps on an Italian beach on a cold night. When she wakes up this time, her bottom clothes have been stolen.

The she has some strange naked and semi-naked adventures. In the end a dog tears off her pajamas, getting a little coppertone thing going, so she is once again naked. She finally runs away from the house, still completely naked, and jumps into a truck full of pigs. The end.

We had to give it four stars, however, because Sydne had a great body and was stark naked in almost every scene!

Sydne Rome (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) A naked woman who is not Sydne Rome, probably not even named after one major world city, let alone two (1, 2)

Bonus Pics
From News Of The World:
Elke, a former page 3 girl, with her partner. (1, 2, 3)

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

Catherine Zeta-Jones (1, 2, 3, 4)

Article from the Sun about Posh Spice, Victoria Adams....
Playboy offers Posh 'n' Becks £200k to pose in the nude

POSH and Becks are considering stripping off to appear in Playboy. Ibiza is buzzing with the news that the couple have been offered £200,000 by the top men's mag to pose stark naked.
David and Victoria - who will perform her new single Out Of Your Mind in the island's Eden club tonight - met Playboy executives in Los Angeles to discuss the proposal.
Posh and Becks have been promised a say in who takes the pictures and how much flesh they show. The pair would be the second couple to strip off for the mag. Hollywood stars Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson posed together ten years ago.
A pal said: "Victoria and David are taking the offer very seriously and are really flattered. "But it's important to Victoria that she has full control. Playboy said they could cover their bits however they liked."
Victoria has also revealed how she stays so skinny - she gets plenty of sex! Posh says it's Becks' fault because she can't stop making love to him. Her confession came after she was boldly asked: "Are you so thin because you shag all day." Posh replied: "Yes, actually. And I bet you would too if you were married to David Beckham."

Lynn Swan
(1, 2)

Rip Torn plays a psychiatrist who sets up a hidden camera and creates a video diary of his own mental breakdown... as well as his fooling around with many of his patients. This one offered some unique collaging opportunities since it was virtually all filmed from a single camera angle and the wall facing the camera is a big mirror so you get a view of everything that's going on even if the characters are technically "off-camera" during a scene. In my personal favorite scene, Sally & Rip are getting ready to do the big nasty but Sally does something to piss Rip off and he loses interest. Sally's still ready to go so she just grabs one of Rip's legs which she straddles and starts humping it like a pit bull on a viagra overdose! Rip Torn gives one of the greatest acting performances in history IMHO because as she's doing this, he seems to remain completely bored with what's happening and finally burns her ass with a cigarette he's smoking to get her to leave him alone!

The pics of Lynn Swan are a bonus. She's basically a "one-time-wonder" actress but she was so cute I couldn't resist doing a few caps of here too... especially since she showed us her goodies in the film. :)

Amanda Robbins
(1, 2, 3)

Jodie and Amanda

This British documentary follows two wannabe models at, thinking that it leads to better things the Swindon modeling agency. Both girls wanted to be Page 3 girls. The agency was trying to find the next 'Melinda Messenger'.

At 17, Jodie Oram was the youngest. Having been told she needs bigger breasts, Jodie has augmentation surgery. We see the bandages coming off in the first collage. The other model is Amanda Robbins, a few years older at 21.

We see them at their first joint shoot where, unfortunately, it rains. This means that they have to go to a studio in London. This shoot, along with all the preparations, appears in most of the collages. As you'll see, some blokes have a dream job! Both girls appeared in the Daily Star with Jodie's bare butt making the front page.

Does anybody know what has happened to the girls in the three years since the show was made?

The Highlander
One misty Scottish morning a man was driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a huge red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is about six foot three and like a walking wardrobe. He has a huge red beard and despite the wind, mist and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his kilt and a tweed shirt.
At the roadside there also stands a young women. She is absolutely beautiful - slim, shapely, fair complexion....... heart stopping. The car driver's attention is dragged from the girl when the highlander opens his car door and drags him from the seat onto the road.
"Right, you," he shouts, "I want you to masturbate!"
"But......" stammers the driver,
"Now...or I'll bloody kill you!"
So the driver turns his back on the girl, drops his trousers and starts to masturbate. Thinking of the girl on the roadside this only takes a few seconds.
"Right" says the highlander "Do it again!"
"But....." says the driver.
"Now...!"
So the driver does it again.
"Right, do it again!" demands the highlander.
This goes on for nearly two hours. The driver has cramps in both arms, he has rubbed himself raw, and despite the mist and wind, has collapsed in a sweating jibbering heap on the ground, unable to walk.
"Do it again!" says the highlander.
"I just can't anymore - you'll just have to kill me", whimpers the man.
The highlander looks down at the pathetic heap slumped on the roadside. "All right" he says, "NOW you can give my daughter a lift to Inverness".

"CAT PHYSICS"
Any of you remember studying the different "laws" in Physics class? These laws are much more interesting and relevant to my daily life with cats, plus you don't have to memorize them, you live and experience them everyday. See if you agree.

--Law of Inertia:
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of a cat food can.

--Law of Thermodynamics:
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which all heat flows to the cat.

--Law of Dinner Table Attendance:
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

--Law of Cat Magnetism:
All black sweaters and blue blazers attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

--Law of Rug Configuration:
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

--First Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats know that energy is neither created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little of it as possible.

--Second Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

--Law of Random Comfort Seeking:
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

--Law of Bag and Box Occupancy:
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

--The Law of Furniture Replacement:
A cat's desire to scratch the furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

--Law of Cat Elongation:
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop that has anything remotely interesting on it.