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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Sexual Surrender
(2003)
Sexual Surrender (2003) is best described as a softcore romantic
comedy, heavy on the comedy, although you could also make a case for
it being a sexy satire of corporate dirty dealings. Our hero is
living with the oversexed daughter of his boss. He has been summoned
to a board meeting for the first time, where he finds that he is
being given the rare honor of providing illegal assistance in the
company's hostile takeover of a lingerie business. He also suddenly
gets more ass than a crosstown bus, and his past catches up with him
with hilarious results.
The film had some budget-related liabilities. Jacques Freydont,
as the ruthless corporate head, flubbed several lines. Evidently
there was no budget for second takes, or possibly he was not capable
of line delivery. Fortunately, he is the antagonist, and we are
supposed to dislike him anyway. His incompetence is offset by
winning performances from Angela Davies and Ann Marie. Either
actress is good enough for mainstream B movies, and maybe even more.
I especially enjoyed the humor in the subplot involving Angela
Davies.
The film also features an amazing amount of nudity, some of it in
creative positions and/or locations, so the sex scenes hold
interest. This film has 3 pairs of enormous breasts, one shaved
pussy, a lesbian scene, and fetish attire. Ann Marie, Simone and T.J.
Hart show breasts. Mandy Fisher and Angela Davies do full frontal
and rear nudity. Brooke Hunter does shaved full frontal and rear
nudity.
Take away the plot and the humor, and the sex and nudity alone
make it watchable. Take away the bulk of the nudity, and the script
would remain entertaining. You can't ask much more from a
couples softcore film, so this is a C+ on our scale. Top o' the line
for a genre film.
IMDb does not list it.
This is only available from RLDVDs.com on a dual region (1 and 4)
English language DVD with Spanish subtitles.
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Camp Blood : The Musical
Fun independent horror movie. It follows your typical Horror plotline, where a
group of teenagers go to a Camp and a masked man starts killing them one by one,
but with songs. For being a movie done with little money is not bad at all, wish
they make a movie like this one with more money.
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Exterminating Angels
Director Jean-Claude Brisseau says this 2006 French fantasy/drama is
not porn, but rather a thoughtful erotic drama that examines attitudes
towards sexuality. I don't disagree, but a lot of folks will feel that
explicit scenes of actresses masturbating themselves and one another make
it porn. Whatever you think, you'll undoubtedly agree that this is a
totally weird movie, and very, very hot.
A forty-something film director is shooting an erotic scene where a
young actress must masturbate, but when he holds a screen test, he
discovers that the actress seems to enjoy breaking the taboo of
masturbating in front of a camera, so he decides to do a film examining
breaking taboos and human sexuality, and holds a series of screen tests.
The director and actresses are spurred on by invisible Exterminating
Angels, and I confess I have absolutely no idea where they came from or
exactly what they are, let alone why they are there. The film never
explains them, except to make obvious that their intent is to cause the
director to self-destruct.
As the tests progress, he has no problem finding young women to
perform, but with the unforeseen consequence that the women all fall in
love with him, even though he never touches them. This then leads to the
inevitable bad behavior by the women that such a situation can cause. And
of course, all this is being orchestrated by the invisible angels.
OK, so none of this makes a great deal of sense, but the film is
crafted in a very precise and non-sleazy manner even with the explicit
scenes, so it's a far cut above the typical B-movie soft-porn that we are
used to. Maybe too far above to make much sense, but at the end of the
day, it's hot as hell.
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The Comedy Wire
Comments in yellow...
A woman in Laohekou, China, was at the bank when her dog pooped on the floor, so
she picked it up in a newspaper and carried it outside. Before she could get to
the trash can, a motorcycle roared past her, a man on the back grabbed the
bundle from her hands, and the thieves sped off with a stolen package of dog poo.
* When they saw what it was, they just put it into some
food to export to America.
Closer magazine claims that Madonna startled fellow passengers on a recent
flight from New York to London by taking out a syringe and injecting B-vitamins
into her arm. Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are also reported to be injecting
vitamins. A British nutrition expert called it a dangerous and extreme fad that
can lead to vitamin overdoses and potentially lethal health problems, including
liver damage, blurred vision, nausea, weight loss and irritability.
* Lindsay Lohan has all those symptoms, but I don't think
it's caused by shooting up vitamins.
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