Uncle Scoopy's Fun House

yes, I'm back, so the verbosity and obnoxiousness levels will return to normal. Thanks to The Realist (and the contributors, of course) for keeping this puppy alive in my absence. Realist even managed to publish the issue one day when he flew to Boston for an interview with a major university, whose highly recognizable name we'll omit because Realist does not wish them to associate him with this slimy-ass site. (In real life, he's Dr Realist, an instructor looking for a professorship and a chance to further develop his Ph. D project into a book). He not only got the edition out that day, but he didn't even tell me he had a conflict, even though he knew I was in town, not busy, and only a phone call away! Hope you get the job, dude. Any employer who hires you will have a real prize. Thanks, and a bravo hard earned, as Mr Peterman might say. I don't think we'll get many more chances at his services - this boy is headed for the big leagues - but it was nice to have him around while it lasted.

From my mailbox, for you detectives at heart: "We have a new "celebrity" that has surfaced. Victoria Zdrok, a playmate from 1994, is now only the third playmate in 50 years to have appeared in hardcore porn. Actually, the first, Susan Kiger from 1982, did her porn stint in 1979 in "Deadly Love", three years before posing for the bunny. The other, of course, is Teri Wiegel who made a slew of films before getting fat and moving on.

Victoria had been in the news before by publicly proclaiming that she had been promised the PMOY, but that Hef's then-wife felt that she was having an affair with Hef, and denied her the privelege. Apparently, she is getting even by appearing in the movie "Dadahouse - The Seven Spiritual Laws of Sex", that just came out last month. Can any of your faithful readers provide us with caps of our newest member in the 15-minutes of fame club?"

Warren Beatty announced that he's disapppointed with the Democratic Party choices, and is thinking of running for president himself, as a third party candidate. Here I thought that Clinton was the Messiah of sexually profligate politicians, and it turns out he was merely Bill the Baptist, clearing a path for the real thing. Beatty should win if he can get all his lovers to vote for him. I like Bening as First Lady.

Hillary has settled on a modest house in Westchester County for $1.75 million, as her home in New York. There are seven bedrooms. One for her, one for Chelsea, and five guest bedrooms for Bill's use.

Ancient Ingmar Bergman claims to be directing a thriller. It is seven hours long and filled with flashbacks of his relationship with the woman he loved, and how he destroyed their love. Doesn't sound that thrilling to you? Ingmar says "well, it's not the kind of thriller with murders, although you could say a soul is murdered". Count Floyd is ecstatic. "Well, wasn't that scary, kids? With all those anguished faces, and pregnant pauses, and ticking clocks and dripping water. Pretty scary stuff here on Monster Chiller Thriller Theater. Arooooooooooooooooo!"

Theater owners are complaining that their cleaning costs have been astronomical in those theaters showing "Blair Witch Project". Apparently, many people vomit from watching the continuous movement of the hand-held camera. That explains the vomiting in that film, but to date, scientists cannot explain the vomiting in Wild, Wild West.

Hollywood money boys are so thrilled with the numbers from Spy Who Shagged Me that they will pay Mike Myers twenty million dollars to do a full-length movie version of Sprockets, an old SNL skit parodying arty European TV shows. This is true. No punch line necessary.

RDO

Some time ago, RDO did some captures from "Looker", a movie which featured nudity from Susan Dey. He recently found a laser disc copy of the movie, and upgraded his images. He mentioned that collectors should discard the old ones and replace them with these. Here her body is scanned.

The kneeling scene.

a close-up of the kneeling scene, and two facial close-ups

the beautiful full rear shot

Emily Watson from the "Hilary and Jackie" segment of PBS's "Naked First Ladies: The Good and the Bad"". Personally, I preferred the "Mamie and Dolly" segment. To be somewhat more accurate, "Hilary and Jackie" is the story of two sisters, one of whom is a musical genius. You think it was tough when your parents compared you to your A-student quarterback brother? Imagine if your brother was Mozart. "What's wrong with you, you're four and you're only composing nursery rhymes? And only in three languages?". Jackie du Pre, a real person, was the gifted cellist who married Daniel Barenboim (musical director of the Chicago Symphony) and died very young (MS). Hilary was her real sister, and the author of the biography upon which the movie is based. Hilary was also a gifted musician, a flautist who came up a hair short of genius, perhaps because of a tyrannical music teacher, or at least that's the way she tells the story. Anyway, it is a painfully truthful and critically acclaimed movie, which produced Oscar nominations for Watson (leading) as Jackie and Rachel Griffiths (supporting) as Hilary.

Tuna

"Blame it on Rio". You know the drill, I presume. Big busted Michelle Johnson seems destined for stardom, but an obscure small-chested minor player actually ends up with the career. The movie is no Citizen Kane (or Citizen Caine), but I found it worth a watch. Two families vacation in Rio together. Good guy Michael Caine is tortured by guilt when he allows his friend's daughter to seduce him, only to find out that the wronged friend (Joe Bologna) has been carrying on with his wife (the once-chubby Rhoda from the MTM show, slimmed down nearly to anorexic levels!). The minor player, Caine's daughter, was Demi Moore, and I think you know who she is, although you may not recognize her chest in these caps. Here's Demi's mini-mams, and the Jumbo Jacks on Michelle Johnson.

"Blame it on Rio". Personally, I blame everything on the Bossa Nova, and it's always worked for me. Even got me out of a couple of traffic tickets. Here's more of Michelle Johnson topless on the beach.

More of Michelle, with Demi obscured by hair.

Michelle in a flimsy t-shirt and bikini bottoms.

Michelle topless collage