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Tuna
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"Zombie"
Zombie (1979) is a film that I covered several years ago. My review at the time is worth repeating.
"Zombie (1979) is Lucio Fulci's attempt to push the envelope as far as he could from the standpoint of gore, and features many hideous Zombies, which love eating live human flesh. There is also a scene where a large splinter is run into a woman's eye. I learned several things from this film:
"Zombies are dead, which means they move slowly. Slow motion evil guys are not very frightening.
"When you are skin-diving topless and encounter a Zombie and a shark, the Zombie is the lesser of the two evils.
"Underwater Zombies don't like being kicked in the nuts.
"The only way to hurt a Zombie is a head shot. Blows, bullets, etc to the body are ignored (except underwater testicles).
"Olga Karlatos has nice breasts, buns and bush.
"Auretta Gay has nice breasts and buns, and swims in a g-string.
"IMDB readers have this at 5.7 of 10. Critics were unimpressed as well. The DVD transfer is wretched. It is dark, and full of color noise. I did my best to clean it up. D+."
Several things have changed with a new 25th anniversary edition. The transfer is nearly perfect, and the edition includes a second DVD full of interviews of cast and crew from the film. Frankly, I liked the interviews better than the zombie film, as I just don't find slow motion monsters frightening. This was made as a response to the big box office garnered by George Romero in Night of the Living Dead. Lucio Fulci took the gore and special effects way beyond anything Romero tried, and the film was structured pretty much as an adventure story. Fulci was not a fan of horror before making this film, and was really more interested in music and comedy, but had directed primarily Giallos. His previous two films bombed badly, and he was going through a painful and expensive divorce, and was willing to work cheap. This was an ultra low budget effort ($750K) but looks like a much more expensive film. The opening scene is shot in New York, as was the ending. The entire cast and crew came in under tourist visas, and they shot with no permits, including a classic scene of zombies walking across the Brooklyn bridge.
Aretta Gay has a lengthy scene wearing only a g-string ad scuba gear, half of it under water. Problem was, she didn't know how to swim. She got lessons from a crew member who wasn't that good himself, and practiced in the hotel swimming pool. When the day came to shoot the scene, she was afraid to jump in the ocean, so she was thrown in. She panicked, and the crew member who had been teaching her jumped in to save her, but was not a strong enough swimmer, and both were in danger of drowning. Someone else jumped in, and was promptly hit in the head with a life ring someone tossed out. A fourth person dove in and cracked is head open on her scuba tank, requiring many stitches.
At one point Fulci got frustrated that the person driving their boat couldn't get it in gear. He grabbed the controls, managed to get it in reverse, and ran the boat into the dock, poking a huge hole in the side. All of the effects were done live, and as many as possible on the actors rather than dummies. The cast and crew talk about 18 hour days, but remember the filming fondly, and every one praises Fulci.
The film was named Zombi 2, but the title screen of this version calls it just Zombie. Night of the Living Dead, evidently, was considered Zombi in Italy, and was distributed by Dario Argento. This film was ground breaking for its time, and launched a long and successful horror career for Fulci. It was enormously popular when released, and very profitable. Any true genre fan will want to own this new edition, both for its historical value, and because of the priceless insights offered in the special features. The proper score is C+. If you are a Zombie sort of person, this is a four star effort.
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Audretta Gay
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Olga Karlatos
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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OTHER NAKED CRAP:
**** DO NOT MISS THIS ****.
OK, there's no actual nudity, but it's raunchy and funny. What
could be better than that?
The trailer for Dirty Country: the Larry Pierce Story.
Larry's big song is the immortal "I Like To Fuck". I've decided
that he is definitely my favorite singer since Kinky Friedman
retired.
OTHER OTHER CRAP:
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Judge rules police had "probable cause" against Jacko.
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Forbes.com: The Best-Paid Athletes
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Awesome Starbucks ad
- According to our favorite newspaper, WWN,
NASA BUILDS WORLD'S BIGGEST PAPER AIRPLANE
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Beautiful NASA photograph of a lighting storm. Would
make a good desktop if you're looking for one.
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"Freddy vs Jason vs Ash will be one of the greatest horror movies
of all time because the script shows that it understands the
characters, the history of each backstory, the cliches and most of
all, the genre."
-
Ain't It Cool News takes a first look at the John Sayles script
for Jurassic Park IV (bottom half of article)
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Here's the first trailer for the Jude Law remake of Alfie
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HOW TO HUNT WISCONSIN WHITETAIL DEER WITH A 12 POUND MOUNTAIN
HOWITZER CANNON.
- Useful knowledge department.
Wales bans stripteasing in limousines. Now I want to go
to Wales right away, just to see a limo before they have to remove
the pole.
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Sex is for sale at lap dancing clubs, a report by a London
academic has found. OK, I admit the article sucks, but
I want to know what courses I have to take to become that kind of
academic. I want to change my major.
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Fearing defeat, President Bush begins job training.
(Great picture)
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The Comic Book Periodic Table of the Elements
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Paul Murray's top 10 gothic novels
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Four new clips from Hero, a martial arts romance, ala Crouching
Tiger.
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An exclusive trailer for Cellular Kim Basinger is being
held hostage by a ruthless killer who's threatening to kill her
family. Her only hope is Chris Evans, who happens to pick up her
call on his cell phone.
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A trailer from Wes Anderson's new comedy, The Life Aquatic with
Steve Zissou "Eccentric oceanographer Steve Zissou
(Bill Murray) and his motley crew - Team Zissou - find themselves
in troubled waters when they attempt to track down the mysterious
"jaguar shark" that ate his partner while filming a documentary of
their latest adventure. Zissou must also contend with a beautiful
journalist (Cate Blanchett) assigned to write a profile, and a new
member of the team who might possibly be his long-lost son (Owen
Wilson)."
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Putting the ball in play - how much harder is is to hit .400, now
that players strike out so much more?
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The History of Plumbing from 2500 B.C, to the present.
Interestingly enough, the plumbing in Egypt hasn't been upgraded
during that period.
- I have very bad news to report.The
popular twice-a-year Woodland Park Zoo's Fall Fecal Fest, where
the public can buy zoo animal shit, has been canceled this year
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Seven new clips from "Suspect Zero", a psychological
crime thriller starring Aaron Eckhart, Carrie-Anne Moss, and
Gandhi.
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A behind-the-scenes featurette about Sky Captain and the World of
Tomorrow
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The trailer for Remember Me, My Love , an Italian film
"Remember Me, My Love," Muccino's bittersweet drama delves into
the lives and loves of a modern Italian family whose individual
aspirations pull at the seams of their increasingly fragile unit.
As their children come of age and begin to follow their own
dreams, Carlo (Fabrizio Bentivoglio) finds himself torn between a
passionate affair with Alessia (Monica Bellucci) and his wife
Guilia (Laura Morante), while Guilia must face her own buried
desires.
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The trailers for Stage Beauty. Actor Edward "Ned"
Kynaston (Billy Crudup) may well be the most desired man in all of
London. The Restoration is in full swing, and enthusiastic
audiences of aristocrats and commoners pack the theatres that were
shuttered during the Puritans' joyless rule. With only men
permitted to tread the boards, the greatest ardor is reserved for
the actor who is the complete "female stage beauty" - and
indisputably, Ned Kynaston is that actor. Lusted after by women
and men alike, Ned commands all the perks of a star; at the same
time, he is a dedicated actor who runs lines with his stage
dresser Maria (Claire Danes), who quietly adores him. Every night,
Ned's death scene as Desdemona in "Othello" stops the show. But
the winds of change are blowing - and they sound like the rustling
of women's skirts. Ironically, it is Maria who ushers in a new era
with her pseudonymous portrayal of Desdemona in an after-hours pub
production of "Othello." After years of men-as-women, Maria is a
sensation, a novelty whose time has come. King Charles II (Rupert
Everett), prodded by his saucy, stage-struck mistress Nell Gwynn (Zoe
Tapper), not only overturns the ban on actresses but also
prohibits men from playing female roles. Overnight, Ned's career
is ruined as a host of fledgling actresses take on the parts that
he once owned body and soul. Ned is headed for a has-been's
twilight in tawdry attractions - that is, until Maria takes it
upon herself to make an actor of him again. Finally, the masks
fall away to reveal Ned and Maria's true feelings, but not before
Ned undergoes a profound inner journey to discover his complete
identity.
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Man Wearing Tutu and Clown Shoes Dives In Pool At Olympics.
Most impressively, he finished fourth in the freestyle. Those
clown shoes have some serious kicking power.
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The War of the Worlds, the classic H.G. Wells science fiction
novel, will be updated by director Steven Spielberg, and will star
Tom Cruise. Shooting will begin in November.
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Hell House spoof will be staged in L.A., with Bill
Maher as Satan and Andy Richtewr as Jesus.
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.MP3 Bloggers ask for a divorce from Warner. It seems
that the studio did the same kind of tricky stuff that marketers
do at IMDb and Amazon.com, flooding the comments sections with
"quote whore" stuff - effusive and obviously (to everyone but
them) obsequious comments.
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Diane Lane becomes Streisand's step-daughter-in-law (Or
something. They are now married to a father and son.)
- "I think we are going to piss off everybody", says Trey
Parker.
World Police definitely sounds like my kind of movie.
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John Kerry Has a Beer With GQ, Reveals His Admiration for Charlize
Theron, a Reveals Why His Years As a Bachelor Were Not So Great
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First Lady Laura Bush's Guide to Understanding So-Called Stem Cell
Research and Other Kinds of Pseudoscientific Flapdoodle
Other Crap archives . May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Click
here
to submit a URL for Other Crap
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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Shiloh
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Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
picture. When
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
altogether.
Mia
Mia Farrow was actually
an important showbiz figure back in the day. Polanski films, Altman
films. The waif was actually married to Sinatra at one time. What
was that all about?
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Mia Farrow in A
Wedding. Although this is an Altman film (a very bad one), it has
never been released on DVD. ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip).
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Mia Farrow in
Rosemary's Baby. This one did make it to DVD, and you can see the
caps in Tuna's section. ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip).
Bonus
Two .wmv
conversions from Scoop
If you're into small
chests, today is your day. First Farrow, and now Joanna Going. I
don't know
what there is about her, and I can't
really explain her appeal, but I find Joanna really sexy.
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Joanna Going in
Keys to Tulsa, a
grade-B noir, but one with some nice nudity. I said, "Barely
watchable, but kind of fascinatingly over-the-top.", and neither of
us could figure out what the fuck was going on, ala The Big Sleep.
It's like watching a Foghorn Leghorn impersonating contest.
(.wmv - zip).
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More of Joanna Going in
Keys to Tulsa (.wmv - zip).
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
Shiloh says:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
Scoop says:
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
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Crimson Ghost
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NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
First up from the Ghost...
Yesterday we had a request for 'caps of Paige Moss in the made for Showtime movie "The Ranch". Well how about a video of her topless and gettin' it from behind instead!
Here is a bonus video clip of Paige Moss in stripped down to a bra and showing a bit of cleavage from an episode of "Buffy".
Next up...the Ghost takes a look at another late 80's low-budget favorite, "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama" (1988).
- Brinke Stevens bares all 3 B's as she showers up.
(1,
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- Brinke Stevens zipped .wmvs
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2)
- Michelle Bauer baring her big'uns in links 1-11, pubes in #12, then being shy in #13.
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- Michelle Bauer zipped .wmvs. Topless in all, plus far off frontal views in #4. (personally, I like #1 the best)
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- Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer in the same scene. Stevens is still showering while Bauer is topless, but not joining her.
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- Stevens and Bauer zipped .wmv
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Dann
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'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Dorm Daze"
This 2003 entry in the National Lampoon comedy series is not the best of the bunch, but make no mistake, it's hilarious, silly, sometimes neurotic, and basically a lot of fun.
Set in a co-ed dorm just before Christmas, a student hires a prostitute (that he's never seen) named Dominique for his virgin brother, also a student at the school. Meantime, another student awaits the arrival of a French foreign exchange student (who he's never seen), and she's also named....ready, class?.....Dominique.
The craziness that ensues when they are mistaken for one another continues to escalate throughout the movie. Then throw in another case of mistaken identity as another female student is mistaken for a hitman and sent $30,000 in a purse, which, guess what....looks just like the purse belonging to still another student. Now, in the middle of the Dominique confusion, we have people running around crazily trying to find the right purse.
You get the idea. It's absolutely nuts, and many of the scenes will have you rolling on the floor with laughter.
In case you're wondering why the Lohmann collage is so weirdly colored, her whole part was a dream sequence, filmed through a ton of filters to make it hazy, very yellowish/orange, and barely visible. In fact, I didn't really know what she was doing until I started working with the caps. The collage sucks, but compared to the original footage, it ain't bad.
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Dragonscan
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Agathe de La Fontaine
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Lovely toplessness in scenes from the French movie "Train de vie" aka "Train of Life" (1998).
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Sylvia Kristel |
The original "Emmanuelle" baring her beautiful breasts in scenes from the 1977 French movie "Alice ou la dernière fugue" aka "Alice" aka "Alice or the Last Escapade".
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Vanessa Paradis |
The French singer/actress (and mother of Johnny Depp's kids) showing a bit o' breast in a scene from the French movie "Élisa" (1995).
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Variety
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Jodie Foster
and
Natasha Richardson
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Excellent collages by DAI featuring scenes from the 1994 movie "Nell". Richardson showed some pokies, and Foster showed everything (and earned an Academy Award nomination).
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Odessa Munroe |
Showing off her robo-hooters in her completely gratuitous topless scene from "Final Destination 2" (2003).
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Ellina McCormick
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Señor Skin 'caps of the French-Canadian actress showing us some up close and personal breast and pube views. Scenes from the direct-to-video movie "Frozen in Fear" aka "The Flying Dutchman" (2001), starring Eric Roberts (one of his 11 film credits for that year).
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Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
OPRAH GETS JURY DUTY
The Trials Of Being Oprah - Monday in Chicago, Oprah Winfrey was picked to
serve on the jury of a murder trial. She told reporters she didn't think
they'd take her because she's too opinionated, but they did. She said she
hopes the trial doesn't take longer than a week because she's got shows to
shoot. The judge allowed her no celebrity treatment other than using a
special entrance to avoid crowds.
The rooftop helicopter pad.
Oprah plans to convict the guy fast, but offer him a really sympathetic
Death Row interview.
If this guy's found guilty, then he must be really bad: he couldn't get
sympathy from OPRAH!
CHRISTINA REMOVES HER PIERCINGS
No More Body Armor - British Vogue reports that Christina Aguilera has
removed 11 of her 12 body piercings, and will no longer sport hardware in
her ears, navel, eyebrow, lip and tongue. She said they're all gone but
the "one in my right nipple. That's for me." A friend said Christina is
"well past the piercing thing" and at least now, airport metal detectors
won't go crazy over her.
She only kept the nipple ring because she enjoys the strip searches and
body cavity probes.
She needs to keep the nipple ring for modesty, in case she ever has a
wardrobe malfunction.
She feels 20 pounds lighter...because she IS 20 pounds lighter.
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