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NEXT POLL: Suggested by Snowblind...Nominations needed for "Best insult in a movie." Here's and example..."If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it." Betty White - Lake Placid.
Please include performer and film when sending in noms. Send your comments or suggestions to lawdogusc@hotmail.com

Also needed...suggestions for future polls. Nothing is off limits!

My two films tonight, Mask, and Killing Zoe have a connection. How many can guess?

Killing Zoe (1994) in some ways is an exploitation film. Let me explain. While working on another project, producer Lawrence Bender found a vacant bank in LA that he could film in for nothing. It occurred to him that he could make a film very cheaply if it took place mostly in a bank. He put out the word that he was looking for scripts that took place primarily in a bank, and had sex, nudity, and lots of gunplay. Writer/director Roger Avary told him he had just such a script, then went home and wrote one. Julie Delpy was in LA on another project, and, fortunately for us and for Avery, she wanted to launch a US career and agreed to do the film. Although this meets most of the criteria for exploitation -- low budget, sex, nudity and violence -- it is a well-made film by professionals. Other than two days of street shots in Paris, the film was made entirely in the bank in LA.

The film is about an American who returns to Paris to help a friend rob a bank. He has nearly nothing in common with the other gang members. They speak French, do a lot of drugs, and are very violent. HE is a safe cracker, doesn't do drugs, and is a rather peaceful person. The cab driver who takes him to the hotel from the airport provides him with a "wife" for the night (Julie Delpy). Coincidentally, Delpy also works at the bank. As the robbery begins to go wrong, The gang leader becomes more and more psychotic. The sex scene early in the film gives great views of Delpy's breasts.

Obviously, my priority is to address our existing content, so I'm not capping anything of significance, and Tomcat has sent me tons of his stuff that I haven't gotten to.

I feel that I can provide better value by using my available time to get the encyclopedia back on line, then the back issues. The Encyclopedia is coming along well, but I haven't looked at the issues yet, and I don't know the size and scope of the challenge.

Anyway, here's the sexy Amanda Peet in "The Whole Nine Yards". Tuna and I have both discussed this in the past. Good enough comedy with a solid cast and some imagination. Tuna gave it a solid thumbs-up, as I recalled, and I gave it a less enthusiastic but still positive overview.

Strange performance against type by Rosanna Arquette as the wife from hell - she performs the role with an (attempted) Quebecois accent. I don't know the rhythms of that accent well enough to know if she did well, but it sounded reasonably authentic. After all, how good does it need to be? This ain't "Sophie's Choice", but a pure entertainment flick. In fact, its very lack of pretentions is quite engaging. They just earnestly wanted to entertain you, and they pulled it off. Chandler the Friend plays the part of Chandler the Dentist, but he's good at what he does, and so are the other leads, so I think you'll like the movie as well as Ms Peet.

Peet appears to be wearing some kind of bottom or crotch patch in her "nude" frame. Most of her crotch is hidden by the banister, but the visible part doesn't look like the right stuff.

Here are some of the recent hot stories from The Sun
Kylie's too sexy for TV!
Apparently her latest video has been deemed too sexy for the telly! In the video, Kylie can be seen climbing out of a swimming pool in wet clothes with erect nipples, getting pleasure from stroking her own thighs and stripping off in front of her husband.

Looking forward to seeing the captures from that!

No-flesh Lopez
"Nudity is not for me"....the sultry superstar Jennifer Lopez vowed : "I will NEVER bare all on film."

The 29-year-old, whose film The Cell is No 1 in America, said: "You can do love scenes that show skin, legs, whatever. But nudity is not for me." Singer-actress Jennifer was voted the world's sexiest woman in a poll for men's mag FHM in May.

Ummm...excuse me Jen, but I seem to recall a little movie called "U-Turn". Just in case...do either of these ring a bell for you? (1, 2)

Kate Moss caught topless on the beach!

IT'S BRITNEY SHEARS
POP stunner Britney Spears unveils a sexy new hairstyle - and she shorn looks good. The star, 18, has had 6 inches lopped off her trademark blonde locks to create a racy rock chick look. And she has completed the transformation by ditching her usual hundred-watt smile for a sullen scowl.

The singer - normally tucked up in bed before midnight - was snapped leaving an LA night club at 2.15am. Wearing shades, black trousers and a tight red top, she looked almost unrecognizable as the star renowned for her squeaky-clean lifestyle.

One fan who saw her said: "It looked like she'd had enough of her clean-living reputation."

The sultry new look could be a big boost for Britney's bid to win the affections of Prince William. Last month the millionairess - recently No 1 with "Oops! I Did It Again" - told The Sun she would like to wed the "cute" 18-year-old Prince. She has already sent snaps of herself to Wills - who is an avid fan. A royal aide wrote back on his behalf thanking her.

Famke Janssen

Sarah Ann Morris

Troy Titus Adams

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank -proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slide up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his Mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Next stop Pun City
1) Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

2) A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

3) A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

4) A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

5) Back in the 1800s the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products and, since they already made the cases for pocket watches, decided to market compasses for the pioneers traveling west. It turned out that although their watches were of finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!"

6) A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."

7) An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk hide and gave it to the chief, instructing him to bite off, chew and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

8) A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

9) There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant and the first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys This goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

10) By the way, I know the guy who wrote these 9 puns. He entered them and one other in a contest. He figured with 10 entries he couldn't lose. As they were reading the list of winners he was really hoping one of his puns would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.