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| Tuna
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"Heat"
Heat (1972) is an Andy Warhol production written and directed by Paul Morrissey. In typical Warhol fashion, it is a stream of consciousness film with a barely discernable plot. A young man and former child star (Joe Dallesandro) has returned from the Army, and is living in a cheap Hollywood Hotel while he tries to break into the music business. He seduces his fat landlady for a discount on rent, and then discovers that one of the other tenants is the daughter of an almost star (Sylvia Miles) he was in a TV series with. She is now a lesbian, rather unbalanced, and living with her equally unbalanced girlfriend, and her baby, fathered by someone that is never explained.
Dallesandro hustles Miles, exchanging sex for living in her luxurious home. The daughter, of course, is not happy. Miles promises Dallesandro help with his career, but finds she does not have nearly enough clout to help him. The entire cast has a thick New York accent, with made it very hard for me to believe that this was a Hollywood story, and most of the dialogue reminded me of a Woody Allen rant. Miles shows her generous breasts in three scenes. You might remember Miles as the paying customer in Midnight Cowboy. She has also appeared in One Life to Live, and All My Children.
IMDB readers have this at 5.9 of 10. Some critics seem to have found something to like. I didn't see it. This slice of life film did not ring true for me, I disliked all of the characters, and the plot went nowhere. The transfer was a weak 4/3, with lots of dust and scratches. The audio was occasionally mushy as well. I am not a huge fan of Warhol films, but I actively disliked this one. D.
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Sylvia Miles
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| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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I'm on limited action this week. Catch ya soon.
OTHER CRAP:
Other crap
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
PIRATE COUNTDOWN:
days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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| Graphic Response
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- Judith Godrèche, the French actress goes topless in scenes from the movie "Entropy" (1999).
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
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| C2000
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'Caps by C2K from the Brian De Palma thriller, "Femme Fatale" (2002). Not a great movie, but it's beautifully filmed and Romijn-Stamos is a godess. If nothing else, the sexy strip tease and hot lesbian make-out scenes make it worth the rental.
- Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, doing her sexy black undie strip tease, and full frontal underwater.
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- Rie Rasmussen, topless while making out with Romijn-Stamos.
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| Helvete
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Caroline Dhavernas
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The French Canadian actress topless and baring her bum in scenes from "A Wilderness Station" aka "Edge of Madness" (2002).
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Janet Kidder
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Lisa Bronwyn Moore
Pascale Bussières
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All 3 ladies are topless in separate scenes from the Canadian movie "X Change" (2000).
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| Variety
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| Leelee Sobieski |
Leelee showing a whole bunch of cleavage in scenes from the new French mini-series version of "Les Liaisons dangereuses".
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| Michelle Burke |
Topless in scenes from "The Last Word" (1995), starring Timothy Hutton, Joey Pants, Chazz Palminteri, Richard Dreyfuss and Cybill Shepherd. Despite the cast, I have never seen it on cable or even available for rent (But you can buy it at Amazon). By the way, Burke is probably best known as Connie Conehead from the 1993 movie version of the SNL skit, "Coneheads".
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Marianne Morris
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Señor Skin 'caps of the the UK actress topless and briefly baring her bum in scenes from the 1974 Lesbian Vampire movie, "Vampyres"...aka "Blood Hunger", "Daughters of Dracula", "Satan's Daughters", "Vampyres, Daughters of Dracula" and "Vampyres: Daughters of Darkness".
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| Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR'S RACE: CLINT AND PORN STAR WEIGH IN
It's A Dirty, Hairy Situation - Clint Eastwood, who served as mayor of
Carmel, California, warned fellow Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger to "be
careful what you wish for." Eastwood said, "When all the excitement dies
down, he may decide this is a horrible time to be governor of California -
huge deficits, the Senate and Assembly dominated by Democrats..."
And there's only one man who can clean it up: Clint Eastwood!
He should know: when he took over Carmel, it was a WAR ZONE!
Nice to see The-Man-With-No-Name helping out the
Man-With-The-Impossible-To-Spell Name.
Spanking The Deficit - Buxom porn star Mary Carey says that if she's
elected governor of California, she has a plan to solve the state's
financial woes. She wants to install a webcam in the governor's mansion
and charge $20 a month to watch her. She figures her Japanese fans alone
would balance the state budget in two months.
Or they could install a webcam with Gray Davis in the mansion, and
charge people $20 a month NOT to have to watch it.
Better yet, let all the candidates move into a mansion full of cameras
together, and people could vote them off one at a time until the last one
left wins the governorship!
Cash And Carey - Carey obviously knows how to raise money: she's already
gone out on dates with seven donors at $5,000 a pop. She said there are a
lot of rich old guys with nothing else to do with their money, and $5,000
to have dinner with a pretty blonde is nothing to them. She said it costs
$200 a plate to have dinner with President Bush, "and I think I'm a little
more exciting than he is. I have bigger boobs."
And we always do seem to elect the biggest boobs.
Yes, but unfortunately, she doesn't have bigger boobs than Arnold
Schwarzenegger.
Maybe Anna Nicole Smith isn't a golddigger; maybe she's just preparing
for a career in politics.
BARBRA GETS A NIP
Right, Her Jaw Was The Problem - The National Enquirer claims that Barbra
Streisand, who has always proclaimed her refusal to have plastic surgery,
has had plastic surgery. They snapped a photo of her leaving a Beverly
Hills clinic with a black scarf over her face. The tabloid claims she had
put out the story that she was going to a spa for a few weeks, so that
people would think her rejuvenated looks were due to rest and natural
means. They claim she actually got her jaw line surgically tightened.
On the bright side, maybe now she won't be able to open her mouth.
That's all? That's like planting a few petunias in front of the
Chernobyl reactor...Or rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.
It was a mix-up: some woman who came in for a necklift ended up with a
major nose job.
This is asking too much of a plastic surgeon...She should just keep
wearing the black scarf over her face.
O.J. ADMITS SLICK LAWYERS SAVED HIM
Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind - In a Playboy interview, O.J. Simpson
admitted that if he hadn't been rich enough to hire a "dream team" of
lawyers, he would not have been acquitted of murder. But he added, "I feel
in my heart that I got off because I was innocent. But I don't know if I
could have proven my innocence if I didn't have the money."
Even O.J. didn't have enough money to do THAT.
You have to be rich to be acquitted, but you sure don't have to be
innocent.
NEWS NOTES!
Howard Dean has raised $10.3 million in three months, a Democratic
near-record, by soliciting money on the Internet... His slogan
was "Make me president, and I'll add three inches to your penis!"...That
was the original reason Al Gore invented the Internet.
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