Wednesday

 

 

 

 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Vampyros Lesbos

(1971)

 

As the film opens, Ewa Stromberg and her boyfriend are watching a club performance by Soledad Miranda, who is undressing and transferring her clothes to a naked woman acting like a mannequin. Ewa is spellbound, and has lurid dreams about the woman, who is calling her psychically. Ewa, who works for a legal firm in Istanbul, travels to an island to help with an estate problem, and falls under Soledad's spell. As you may have guessed from the title, Soledad is a lesbian vampire, the sole heir of Count Dracula. For some unexplained reason, she has chosen Ewa as her successor.

This Jess Franco classic has been alternately called The Heiress of Dracula, The Heritage of Dracula, Im Zeichen der Vampire, Lesbian Vampires, Lesbian Vampires: The Heiress of Dracula, Mal des Vampirs, Das, Schlechte Zeiten für, The Sign of the Vampire, Signo del vampiro, El, The Strange Adventure of Jonathan Harker, Vampiras, Las, The Vampire Women and Vampyros Lesbos: Die Erbin des Dracula. It is one of a trilogy from Franco staring Soledad Miranda and Ewa Stromberg. Shortly after finishing the third one, Miranda died tragically in an auto accident on the way to sign a major contract that would likely have earned her stardom.

If you are a Franco film, you know this one already. The film has a huge cult following, as indicated by more than a thousand votes at IMDb, and deservedly so. The film is a treat for the eyes. Franco is at his best here, using a largely red and black palette, sparse but effective set decoration, and effective symbols (scorpions, moths, etc.) to represent the major characters.

Vampyros Lesbos has appeared here before. I covered it once very early in my capturing career. My images needed an upgrade anyway, and RLDVDs.com provided an Australian Region 4 copy that is a beautiful widescreen transfer. The film was originally a joint Spanish/German co-production, so the dialogue is in German. The downside of this version is that the subtitles have been burned in, but this is not a major problem because this film is all about imagery rather than dialogue, of which there is little.

It is a C+ as 1970s-era Euro Horrotica. If you have been thinking of seeing your first Franco film, this is a good choice.

Vampyros Lesbos

The simulated sex is very light, but the nudity is clear and plentiful. Soledad Miranda, Ewa Stromberg and an unknown all show everything. Heidrun Kussin shows breasts.

 

 

Ewa Stromberg

 

 

Soledad Miranda

 

 

Heidrun Kussin

 

 

Unknown

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

Two Moon Junction

I love this movie, not because it's a great one, but for what I think is definite "Hall of Fame" nudity from Sherilyn Fenn.

 

We let Kristy McNichol and her tiny "Tater Tots" kick it off.

 

Then Kristy is joined by Sherilyn as they exchange tops.

 

The main course is Sherilyn Fenn in all her glory, with some of the nicest nudity ever to hit the screen. The full frontal scene is one that you never forget.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Married to the Mob

A beautiful face, a nice figure. I first saw Nancy Travis at the end of "Three Men and a Baby." I wish she had done more films, yet it was nice when she joined the cast of the TV show "Becker" some years ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Claim

Ellen Brachman (Louise Lombard), a clever and ambitious claims assessor for the Rotterdam marine-insurance company European Hayward, suspects a 'sinker'. In an attempt to prove the 58 million dollar claim on the ship is false, she flies to Argentina and becomes embroiled in a dangerous web of deceit, lies, murder and lost love.

Billy Zane plays the love interest and he doesn't have much time on screen.

That can tell you how good the movie is.

And there's almost no nudity!

 

Louise Lombard

 

Sasha Woman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Español

¿Quién puede juzgar a 10 chicas, casi adolescentes, del Este de Europa que quieren buscar un futuro mejor en Bélgica? Nadie, incluso aunque sea aceptando un contrato muy sospechoso de unos hombres que les ofrecen una vida de glamour como bailarinas de una compañía, incluso aunque les adviertan de que esos hombres lo que pretenden en realidad es prostituirlas. Sólo quieren una vida mejor, aunque puede que el viaje que inician vaya directo a un infierno del que no podrán escapar.

Esto es Matrioshki, la cruda, terrible, pero realista historia de un puñado de chicas arrancadas de sus hogares con mentiras y condenadas a ser esclavas sexuales por una despiadada banda de delincuentes que no tienen el menor problema por traficar con mujeres, obligarlas a prostituirse e, incluso, matarlas. A lo largo de los 10 episodios de Matrioshki, acompañaremos a estas jóvenes en su viaje hacia el infierno.

English

Ten Eastern European girls, barely past adolescence, take a chance on a better future in Belgium, even though it involves being bound by a very suspicious contract to men who offer a glamorous life as dancers, but intend to force them into prostitution.

This is Matrioshki, the crude and horrifying but realistic history of a handful of girls uprooted from their homes with lies and turned into sex slaves by ruthless criminals who would not hesitate to kill them. Throughout the 10 episodes of Matrioshki, we will accompany these young people on their trip towards a hell from which they may not be able to escape.

 

 

Capítulo 8 / Chapter 8


 

unknown

 
Eugenia Hirivskaya

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Angie Everhart in The Stray. Meh! Angie is a looker, but this scene is for the birds.
Sheryl Crow out and about in a black t-shirt, no bra. You just know that's paparazzi time. Love those bright lights!
Joely Richardson, Maxim UK.
Keira Knightley in Atonement.

 

 

 

 

 

The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...


A survey by the Sleep Council found that many American teenagers are exhausted from getting only four hours of sleep a night or just short bursts of "junk sleep" because they secretly stay up all night watching TV or playing video games.  The Council warned that parents are being too lenient about "lights out" compared to earlier generations.  To be fair, some of the teenagers say they also lie awake worrying about relationships or how well they'll do on exams.

*  If you believe your kid is up all night worrying about his grades, you're the one dreaming.  

*  Earlier generations didn't have to force kids to go to bed. There were no video games and the only thing on TV past midnight was a test pattern.



The world's only penis museum opened in 1974 in Husavik, Iceland, and now displays 195 penises from various animals, ranging from hamsters to whales.  But there's still one hole in the collection: curator Sigurdur Hiartarson is appealing to the public for someone to donate a human penis. Hiartarson said that in the past, he'd received offers of donations from the US, UK and Germany, but in every case, the offers turned out not to be serious. 

*  Well, they were just angry wives, but they WERE serious. 

*  If Hillary becomes president, she'll send them Bill's as foreign aid. 



Tuesday in Greenburgh, New York, James Mitchell, 48, was charged
with being unclear on the concept of robbery.  Police say he approached a teenager who had just bought an artificial rose and said, "Give me the rose."  The teen told him to buy his own.  Mitchell took out a knife and demanded the rose and the kid's money.  The teen had a $10 bill, but Mitchell said, "I only want $4."  He ordered the teenager to go into a pizza parlor, change the $10 bill, and bring him out $4. After he fled, the victim called police and led them to Mitchell.  A spokesman said they had no idea why Mitchell wanted only $4.

*  He'd valet-parked his getaway car.