Sexual Intentions

(2000)

Matt is a successful real estate broker, but his work obsession has driven away his wife and taken a toll on him. His brother is a good sculptor with no self-promotion skills and a gambling problem. The story is about how Matt gets laid and finds true love again, and his brother gets his life together.

That's about it.

You may have guessed from the sparse plot and the self-explanatory title that Sexual Intentions (2000) is an example of "couples erotica." What it lacks in plot, it makes up with ample explicit nudity and simulated sex, summarized as follows:

• Catalina Larranaga: Breasts, buns and bush in a girl/guy
• Elizabeth Loredo: Full Frontal and rear masturbating
• Leighann Steele: Full Frontal and Rear in a girl/girl and girl/guy
• Adriana Steele: Full Frontal and Rear in a girl/girl and girl/guy
• Devinn Lane: Full Frontal and Rear in a girl/guy
• Tracy Ryan: Full Frontal and Rear in a girl/girl/guy and a girl/guy
• Toni Taylor: Breasts, buns and bush in a girl/girl/guy

The film's strongest attraction, Tracy Ryan, looks great and can actually act.

This is only available from RLDVDs.com on a dual region (1 and 4) English DVD with optional Spanish subtitles.

Again, we stress that we have not seen the final version of this film, so the following may not represent precisely what you will see in the theaters.

• Danielle Harris
• Kristina Klebe
• Hanna Hall
• Sherri Moon Zombie

The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

Leona Helmsley's Maltese dog Trouble just inherited $12 million, and already it's the subject of vicious gossip in the tabloid press. Longtime housekeeper Zamfira Sfara told the New York Daily News that Helmsley lavished love on the dog instead of her family, and would sleep with it and kiss it "mouth to mouth," adding, "It was unnatural." The hotel chef would be called away from work to make the dog gourmet meals on porcelain dishes served on a silver platter, and Sfara had to feed it by hand while on her knees.  It bit everyone, including Sfara countless times causing permanent nerve damage in her hand.  She said once when Trouble bit her, Leona said, "Good for you, Trouble; she deserved it." 

*  And then, Leona bit her, too.




The University of Texas School of Public Health found that women are cautious about their safety when meeting a man on a first date,
but they're much less careful if they met him on the Internet.  In a 2004 ABC News poll, only 17 percent of women admitted to having sex on a first date, but in the new survey, a third of the women slept with men they'd met on the Internet on the first date, and three-quarters of those didn't even use condoms.  The researchers chalk it up to "virtual intimacy": the women feel they've already developed a relationship with the man online, so they don't think of it as a one-night stand, even though it might turn out to be.

*  Come on, how could a guy with a name like HornyDude443 not be trustworthy? 

*  It doesn't even last one night: the guys have to hurry back to their parents' basements before Conan comes on.

*  The guy assured them that he's disease-free and has had a vasectomy...Also that he's rich, a ballroom dancing champion, and the former ambassador to France.
 

 

Kyle Garcher, a senior at Hillard Davidson High School in Columbus, Ohio, said he spent 20 hours over three days planning a prank on rival school Darby High at last week's football game.  He handed out
colored paper to the visiting team's fans, telling them to hold the sheets over their heads at the start of the third quarter, and it would spell out a giant, "Go Darby."  Instead, it spelled, "We Suck," which he taped and posted on YouTube.  Other students thought it was funny and ingenious, but Principal John Bandow suspended Garcher and two kids who helped him for three days and banned them from all extracurricular activities for a month for showing poor sportsmanship.
 

*  I would've credited him with three semester hours worth of Junior Achievement.