Saturday

Assorted Video Clips:

Here's the rest of Emily Mortimer in Young Adam. (Movie House Review - It's an arthouse movie. I was impressed by it, but didn't find it pleasant to watch.  Tuna didn't like it at all, but conceded that it was made with style. In other words, we just had different degrees of the same opinion, except I thought the positives outweighed the negatives. ) This may be the craziest sex scene ever performed by mainstream stars. Obi-Wan canes the living daylights out of Mortimer, then covers her with condiments, then takes her from behind. (Leaving her panties on - that part I don't get.) More from this film tomorrow. (4 .avis zipped together)

 

 

 

OTHER CRAP:

"Letters of complaint about crude, off-color New York State (license) tags"

New secure browser Browzar is fake and full of adware

Here's the tralier for Fur, the "imaginary portrait" of the offbeat photographer Diana Arbus, starring Kidman and Downey. Jr.

The HD trailer for Let's Go To Prison, a comedy from the Mr Show dudes

Applebee's Bartender Gets $10,000 Tip on $26 Tab

Oregon Man Faces 11 Years for Panty Thefts

"Top Ten Kyra Phillips Excuses Presented by CNN Anchor Kyra Phillips"

John Mark Karr Confesses to Invasion, Occupation of Iraq

Panasonic said on Thursday it would start selling the world's largest television set, featuring a 103-inch screen, for $80,000.

Federal Bureau of Investigation - Freedom of Information Act Material Online

The Off-Road Commode

Sony Pictures Classics: the official trailer for Curse of the Golden Flower

Italy announces all-you-can-eat Calamari special

Brooke Burke Engaged, Expecting
  • David Charvet also used to ... um ... date Pamela Anderson some 10-15 years ago, back before she had to be sanded down before use.

"This could be the year the NFC rises again." Or not.

Headline of the day: "China bans strippers at funerals"
  • Further proof that Communism just doesn't work.
  • I mean how the hell can a guy bury his wife without a lap dance. How are we guys supposed to deal with our grief?

The Superheroes have the same problems as the employees in Office Space. (Green Lantern is a great Lumbergh.)

Evidence ruled sufficient in penis pump case
  • "That kind of thing is not my bag, baby."
  • Welcome to Embarrassment City. Population: you.

Farmers believe cows 'moo' with an accent

Ten great wines under $10

Madden '07 scores $100 million hit in its first week!
  • This is doubly impressive because many buyers are holding off buying the game until the PS3 and Nintendo Wii are released later this year.

The 10 Most Feared NFL Players

2006 COLLEGE FOOTBALL PREVIEW - Sixth Annual Herbie Awards

Some Interesting and Funny quotes from the world of Rasslin'

This week's movies (2500 theaters): Crank - 100% positive reviews for this ludicrous, past-paced Besson-style actioner. This movie didn't get a massive amount of advance publicity, but all indications are that it may just be a word-of-mouth hit. It's 1994's "Speed" crossed with 1996's "Rage." A hit man (Jason Statham) learns that a poison injected into his body will kill him if his heart rate drops below a certain point. He sets out to get the baddies while keeping his heart pounding rapidly. (Five words: public sex with Amy Smart)
  • "Mindless fun"
  • "Mindless entertainment"
  • "Edgy and outrageous"
  • "Engaging and thoroughly over-the-top"
  • "Zealously absurd"
  • "It won’t be to everybody’s taste, but with a deliciously sick sense of humor and a refreshingly mean streak, Crank at least has the courage to carry its convictions through to the bloody end."

This week's movies (2800 theaters): The Wicker Man - 20% positive reviews (and those were not very positive)
  • "When he was reading the script, and saw the part of the movie where he is supposed to run through the forest in a bear suit, I hope Cage asked for a huge pay raise."
  • "This is the kind of film for which Golden Raspberries were invented."

This week's movies (1000 theaters): Crossover - 0% positive ratings.
  • "Not just awful, but gloriously, stupendously, magnificently awful."

The trailer from Romanzo Criminale, an epic Italian crime drama

British TV film depicts the assassination of President Bush

Xena Planet: Lynne Cheney's Remarks Welcoming Xena: Celestial Princess to America's Solar System (Whitehouse.org)

"When a wooden politician delivers the best line of the MTV Music Video Awards, you know the thrill is gone."
  • My favorite line: "Even Lil' Kim, who once appeared at the VMAs wearing a pasty on one breast, failed to get the party started. Recently released from prison after serving time for perjury, she stripped off an orange jail suit to reveal ... something that resembled a funky business suit. Hillary Clinton has worn more revealing outfits."
  • One thing that did surprise me. I never realized that James Blunt and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) are the same guy! (See picture accompanying story)

"Science Projects that Scare the #%@! Out of Us"

Lockheed Wins Job of Building Next Spaceship

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle (1994)

Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle is being released again in a new widescreen transfer, and this time it includes special features: a full-length commentary and a special retrospective of Dorothy Parker's life. Honestly, the special features were more interesting than the movie itself. Scoopy discussed the problems with this film in a review of the first release with I completely agree with. I started the film with a great curiosity about Dorothy Parker, one of the most humorous and intelligent women ever to become a public figure. She is best known, of course, as a pivotal member of the Algonquin Round Table, and everyone in my generation knows some of her quips and short poems.

Perhaps the most telling fact about this brilliant and talented woman was that, when she died of a heart attack in her 70s, most people who read her obituary were surprised that she had still been alive. In the 20s, she was the toast of the New York intelligentsia. She then became a successful but dissatisfied Hollywood writer. Later, she came under attack by Joe McCarthy, and took part in the Spanish revolution.

Jennifer Jason Leigh was brilliant in her portrayal in what Rudolph claims is a very accurate telling of Parker's story. The supporting cast was equally good. My biggest problem with watching this film is the same as my objections to drugs suck films. It is two hours of watching a brilliant and talented woman in torment.  Director Alan Rudolph chose to focus on the negative part of her life, and the lives of those around her. I feel he left plenty of room for another Dorothy Parker biopic. He also borrowed a technique from mentor and producer Robert Altman, and used overlapping dialogue, much the same as what you would encounter at a loud party or a huge dinner. Unfortunately, just as at a party or large dinner, it is difficult to follow what is being said. It was made even more difficult by the accent and diction used by Jennifer Jason Leigh in her Parker impersonation.  Unfortunately, although the earlier release had English subtitles for the hearing-impaired, the re-issue does not, and that feature would have been very helpful.

This is a C. It is a very good film, but not one with an substantial audience, except maybe women over 45, who rate it 7.1 at IMDb!

 

Scoop's note: the image quality is much better on this DVD, and the disc has some nice features, but the old DVD had the English sub-titles for the hard of hearing, and that was a great feature for this particular movie.

 

Jennifer Jason Leigh
Gwyneth Paltrow
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

Dann reports on Do You Like Hitchcock?

Written and directed by Dario Argento, this 2005 thriller is a treat for Argento fans and Hitchcock fans alike.

Film student Julio, who has been studying films by Alfred Hitchcock for his thesis, is practicing his hobby of peeping into people's windows when he sees a fight between a young woman and her mother. Days later, Mommy is killed by an intruder in her apartment, and Julio suspects foul play. Julio's girlfriend suspects he's peered into one too many windows, and suggests he get psychiatric help.

Continuing to poke around, Julio discovers from a friend who runs the local video store that both Sasha, the dead woman's daughter, and Federica, a woman from the neighborhood who befriends Sasha during a visit to the store, have rented Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train. He decides that Sasha and Federica are trading murders just like the characters in Strangers, which means Sasha must now kill someone to repay Federica for killing her mother.

As things progress, the pace of the movie gets frantic, including a really cool chase in the pouring rain between a man and a motor scooter. As you can guess, things do not turn out as expected, making this a first-rate effort worthy of either great director.

Elisabetta Rochetti Cristina Brondo Chiara Conti unknown

 

 

 

 


 

Something different this time: Porn star Gabriella Bond

 

 

 

 

 

 

A.J. Khan in Shock-O-Rama

Julian Wells in Shock-O-Rama

Carla Romanelli in Steppenwolf

Dominique Sanda in Steppenwolf

Asia Argento. I can't think of any woman who more obviously belongs in a magazine called Bizarre. She is  sexy, though, in a creepy sort of way.

 

 


Pat's comments in yellow...

28-year veteran art teacher Sydney McGee of Frisco, Texas, took her fifth-grade class on a field trip to the Dallas Museum of Art, and afterward, one parent complained about her child seeing nude art.  McGee claims the principal reprimanded her and gave her a bad performance review.  Fearing she'd be fired, she hired a lawyer and requested a transfer to a less hostile school, but the school board rejected the request.  The board said she won't be fired, but the principal has the right to tell her what is in the best interest of her students.

*  And it's in the best interests of art students that they think
Michelangelo's David wore Dockers.

*  For instance, she can say with authority that the Sistine Chapel ceiling
is PURE PORN!

*  For the good of the children, we must make sure they never set foot in a
museum again.


Pepsi paid to make thousands of T-shirts for the University of Florida class of 2006, and only then noticed the Roman numerals on them didn't mean "2006," they meant "26."  Pepsi said they'll pay for replacements, but they don't know what they'll do with the returns.

*  Off-hand, I'm thinking "University of Alabama..."