Wednesday

Dorm Daze 2 (2006):

I hope the creators of this film are clearing out some space on the mantle for those Oscars! I just fast-forwarded through it. I'm pretty sure Tuna said all there was to be said, and I'm sure as hell glad he did the IDs so I didn't have to actually watch the freakin' thing. To corroborate Tuna's point that the film was made for a very young audience, let me point out that the DVD begins with a promo for "Ultimate Avengers: The Movie," which is basically Saturday morning cartoon fare for the 11-13 set.

If the makers of Dorm Daze 2 were aiming for the junior high audience, you have to admire their sheer chutzpah for including so much nudity in the film. I wish films like this had been around and accessible when I was 11.

Here are the film clips:

  • Lola Davidson, Suzy McCoppin and Heather Storm. One zipped .wmv with two scenes on it. In the first, they do their post-modern play, which is basically all tits all the time. In the second they just kinda hang out topless.
  • Julia Beatty, in the challenging role of "Pole dancer / Mexican village call girl." Also two scenes in this zipped .wmv. In the first (first in the movie, that is, but second in the clip) she pole dances. In the second she showers in a very long scene with a bunch of extras.
  • As Tuna pointed out, Jasmin St. Claire is a former porn actress who specialized in gangbangs, playing a former porn actress who specialized in gangbangs. This zipped .wmv also includes two scenes, one in bed, one in a corridor.

See the stills in Tuna's column, yesterday's page.

 

 

GHOST SON (2006):

Italian schlockmeister Lamberto Bava hasn't created a theatrical film since 1991, so it's quite a surprise that he chose to return with such a tame one as Ghost Son, which is basically an updated take on The Omen or Rosemary's Baby. It contains no more gore or sensationalism than either of those two films, which is sure to disappoint you if you're looking for Bava levels of splatter. This is like a horror movie as produced by the Oxygen Network.

The DVD I watched was Russian, with "echo" dubbing - you hear the English, then you hear the Russian spoken a second behind it, which is always annoying, and which is sometimes comical, as when the translator simply repeats an English name with a Russian accent!

Dialogue: "Stacy?"

Dub: "Stac-yeh?

You'll hear some of that in the film clip. Anyway, the film represents the first nudity Laura Harring has done since Mulholland Drive, so it's got that goin' for it. Here's the zipped .wmv. The collages follow. I'm guessing that the butt is a body double, but the rest is obviously Laura.

Laura Harring

 

VIDEOS:

 

OTHER CRAP:

 In honor of the release of Hollywoodland ... The Straight Dope Mailbag: Was "Superman" star George Reeves a suicide--or murder victim?


Submitter's comments:

My own take for what it's worth is this. The evidence is consistent with accidental suicide. I have seen this before. He was screwing around with the most dangerous kind of firearm in the world, an " unloaded" gun. As to the evidence (or lack of evidence) against suicide:
  • "No fingerprints were found on the gun." (*Depends on how the grip is held, mine wouldn't show prints either.*)
  • "There were no powder burns on the head wound, which would imply the gun was held several inches from the head at the time it was fired, pretty unusual for a suicide." (*Much has been made of the lack of powder burns and the odd angle of the shot, i.e. upward towards the ceiling. These are both inconsistent with intentional suicide, but totally consistent with accidental death by stupidly screwing around. People who aren't suicidal don't like the feel of a muzzle against their head. So they hold it away from their heads. If you are using your index finger on the trigger, you would have to hold it at an upward angle.*)
  • "The spent shell was found under his body and the gun was found between his feet." (*Normally when a person is shot, they drop like a puppet whose strings have been cut. However at .27 blood alcohol (fatal dosage is usually pegged at .35 by the way) on top of pain killers, systemic shock would not have set in immediately. He might have been able to stay on his feet for a full second.*)

The Truth about Penis Enlargement Surgery
  • The most fascinating thing about this documentary is the fact that men who submit to penis enlargement surgery are the same pre-op size as those who do not.

Popemobile Sold To Glasgow Ice Cream Vendor, where it will be outfitted with a melodic chime.

Aronofsky's new film is booed at the Venice film festival.

More of Rupert Everett's recollections of his life as confidante to the divas
  • It's a good read. He refers to Sharon Stone as "utterly unhinged."



Rupert Everett's recollections of Madonna - before she became the Material Girl

"A Japanese man was arrested after trying to steal a mannequin from a display window, claiming it was love at first sight"

KYRA PHILLIPS TO BROADCAST EXCLUSIVELY FROM CNN RESTROOM
  • CNN has decided to relocate anchor Kyra Phillips from the news desk to the ladies restroom for her newscasts. "We got a lot of attention with Kyra in the restroom last week," said CNN spokesperson Michael Jarvis. "That's why her newscast has been renamed 'Toilet Talk with Kyra Phillips.'"

BROOKE SHIELDS SLIPS TOM CRUISE PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATION

E! TO COUNT DOWN 101 SEXIEST CELEBRITY VAGINAS
  • Amongst the experts E! recruited to judge celebrities’ vaginas were “America’s Next Top Model” stylist Jai Rodriguez, actor Charlie Sheen, and “E! News Daily” host Ryan Seacrest. “Sexual appeal is an important element in judging a vagina, but it’s only one of many important qualities including shape, texture, aroma, and durability,” noted Harbert. “By selecting this diverse group of judges, we made sure that sex wouldn’t become a predominant factor.” Because recent photos of the vagina of only one star on the list, Pamela Anderson, were available, judges relied primarily on reputation, secondary sources, and in the case of Sheen, personal experience.
  • "Sources at E! confirmed that other celebrity vaginas ranked in the top 20 include Anderson, Angelina Jolie, Anne Heche, Venus and Serena Williams, and, in a surprise selection, director Penny Marshall.

CELEBRITIES SWEPT UP IN PHOTOSHOP DIET CRAZE
  • “I tried Atkins, I tried the South Beach diet, but none of those made me look as great as the Photoshop Diet,” said Couric.

The Weekend Warrior's box office predictions for the upcoming weekend
  • He's basically calling it a disaster, with $64 million for the top twelve, compared to $73 million last year. (Last year featured a break-out performance from The Exorcism of Emily Rose. This year, the sum of the top THREE films is not expected to match Emily Rose's total.)
  • None of the new films will force the government to print any additional money. The only full release is The Covenant, which is expected to finish first, but with a tepid $15 million performance, as compared to Emily Rose's $30 million this time last year. The other two newcomers are in fewer than 1600 theaters. (Although the Superman Suicide movie has some good reviews, and may surprise.)
  • The Illusionist is expected to move up once again, this time to #3. I confessed mixed feelings in my review of The Illusionist. On the one hand, I was really disappointed that the auteur took one of the greatest short stories ever written and converted it to a conventional Hollywood thriller in period garb. On the other hand, I really liked the damned thing. It may follow a standard genre formula, but it just does everything so well! In the end, I have to concede that the film I wanted would have been an Oscar nominee and a box office disaster. The film he made is still a very good movie and has solid mass audience appeal, as it is now demonstrating. NOTE: my review does not reveal the surprise ending, but you may fairly infer it from other comments, and therefore you need the SPOILER ALERT. Instead of reading the damned review, go see the movie, which is one of the few worth seeing this year.

This week's new releases:
  • Hollywoodland - about 1400 theaters - 71% positive reviews. The noir about the death of TV's Superman
  • The Covenant ... teenage warlocks - no advance reviews - about 2600 theaters
  • The Protector - Thai Martial Arts - no advance reviews - about 1500 theaters

True or false? "Dan Brown claims heretic originally meant 'choice' but was given its present meaning by the Roman emperor Constantine."

The trailer for Nina's Heavenly Delights
  • "Nina Shah is a feisty young woman who left home under a cloud after a row with her father. After his sudden death, Nina returns to the family owned Indian restaurant. Her return brings her face to face with many surprises - her father's gambling debts, potent friendships from her childhood, Bollywood spectacle all blended with romance and laughter. With courage and enormous vitality Nina battles to win back the family business, win the Best of the West curry competition... and finds the divine taste of love in this spicy, mouth-watering, feel-good comedy."

The trailer for Everything's Gone Green
  • "'Everything's Gone Green' is about when you get older and you feel certain doors closing very quickly on you. It deals with that feeling of now or never," says Douglas Coupland. In what is a sly comment on the times since his first publication of "Generation X" over a decade ago, "Everything's Gone Green" is the first story from popular writer Douglas Coupland written specifically for the screen.
    Ryan, late-twenties and not getting any younger, is tempted into a money-laundering scheme but struggles with his ill-gotten gains while trying to find happiness. In this comedy, Ryan tries hard not to try hard but is surrounded by over-achievers. His hippie friend has gone capitalistic in a not-so-legal way. His older brother has always been capitalistic in a legal if not-so-ethical way. His father, after losing his job and his faith in the system, has found profitable promise outside of the establishment. Even the woman he desires is comfortable to be cared for by a big-time car thief. As Douglas Coupland has done in the past, new questions are raised about the period we live in. Is it possible to just drift into the new century? Are the middle-class facing extinction? When is "enough" enough? And is there any hope that not everyone wants to be a millionaire.

"German spies hid secret messages in drawings of models wearing the latest fashions"
  • Ah, der Fuehrer, there was a dress designer! He could create an entire evening ensemble in one afternoon. Two coats! Not to mention two pairs of pants.

"Child, 11, Left Behind" ... Sign That President's 'No Child Left Behind' Law May Not Be Working, Critics Say

Little Miss Sunshine, as seen through the eyes of The Filthy Critic
  • "I saw Little Miss Sunshine. Far as I can tell, it's a remake of National Lampoon's Vacation designed for the the annoying NPR fucks who listen to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! and laugh at the non-Lake Wobegon parts of Prairie Home Companion.

New Eva Mendes Flaunt Magazine Pictures

The Straight Dope: Is it possible to be allergic to sex?
  • And I thought I had it hard being allergic to tone poems!

Kyra Phillips - Top Ten Excuses - video from the Letterman show

Bill Maher, impressed by Spike Lee's work, has created his own Katrina documentary 'How The Rich Got Soaked'

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Dorm Daze 2 (2006)

Amarcord (1973), or "I Remember" is widely considered one of Fellini's best films. It is essentially a love poem to Rimini, the small town where he grew up in the 30s. In fact, the title is in the Rimini dialect rather than proper Italian. He paints a detailed portrait of the town, the influences of Fascism, and many of the town's people. This is a character piece rather than a plot-driven story, but the character is the town of Rimini. In my extensive experience traveling, I have found that people all over the world are more alike than different, which helps explain why there is a great deal that is universal in the portrait of this Italian town.

As usual, Fellini's visuals are amazing. The best known in this film is of a peacock spreading its wings in a snowstorm. The film opens with puffballs from dandelions blowing into town announcing spring, and covers a full year. We, along with the young men of the town, follow the pendulous motion of "Si Vous Plait's" posterior. We feel the seasons, live through the frustrations of adolescence, and watch as most of the adult population accepts Fascism.

The Fellini experts, who seem to have built entire careers just finding the symbolism in the master's work, found plenty here. They obsessed on something about the role of women in the spread of Fascism, using the status of women as allegory, or something equally academic. Roger Ebert, on the other had, saw the film the way I did, as a loving remembrance of the town where Fellini was raised, and the simple yet wonderful people who inhabited it. There is some justification for Ebert's position, as many involved in the production, when questioned in the special features, including Fellini himself, agreed with Ebert's view of the film. Of course, I learned from a High School English teacher that just because an author claims they put no symbolism into a work, it doesn't mean the symbolism isn't there.

Criterion released this film as their fourth DVD, but technology has advanced to the point that they were able to create a far superior version, and added a disk of special features, as well as a commentary by two Fellini experts. This is one of the better Criterion releases to date. There are three soundtracks, Italian, an excellent English dub, and the commentary. Subtitles are also available. Included in the special features is a before-and-after comparison of the earlier release and this one. Other features include a companion book with essays about Fellini and one written by Fellini himself about his home town. On-disk features include a new 45 minute documentary about Fellini's relationship to the town of Rimini, an interview with female lead Magali Noel, Fellini's drawings of characters in the film, and much more.

IMDb readers say 7.8. It won the Best Foreign Language Oscar, and was nominated for Best Director and Best Writing.

This is a B-. Even if you usually don't like character pieces or work by arthouse directors, you may well enjoy this one. It is probably Fellini's most personal and accessible film.

Maria Antonietta Beluzzi, as the ample town tobacconist, shows her enormous breasts trying to get one of the young men to suck them, and nearly suffocating him in the process.
 		  

 

 

 

 

 
Dann reports on Cemetery Gates:

When you think of a Tasmanian Devil, do you think of Taz, Looney Tunes' Tasmanian Devil character? Well, there really is such an animal as a Tasmanian Devil, 25 pounds of nasty fangs and claws. They'll attack other animals (although not panthers and tigers as some people have claimed), but they're mainly scavengers that will eat dead animals just like vultures, and like vultures, their immune systems keep them from getting sick eating the rotting meat. This 2006 horror flick tells the story of Precious, a 7-foot genetically altered mutated Tasmanian Devil that gets loose from the scientists that have been experimenting on her.

A group of college students are in a cemetery filming a horror film for their film class. They get far more than they bargained for when they are attacked by Precious, who is in a permanent bad mood.

An interesting horror flick, with kind of an 80's horror film feel, and some decent enough special effects. The director's idea was to have "quality kills," and most horror fans will probably feel he succeeded. A fun flick.

interest for you.

Kristin Novak

 

 

 

 

Alexis Dziena's full frontal and rear nudity in Broken Flowers, as captured in full High Definition. Awesome!

A reader messed around with Rebecca Gayheart's nude scene in the pilot episode of Vanished. Frankly, the editor did much too good a job at hiding the good stuff.