The Sentinel (1977) is a supernatural horror film with some big names in the cast, including Beverly D'Angelo, Robert Carradine, Chris Sarandon, José Ferrer, Ava Gardner, Burgess Meredith, Eli Wallach, Tom Berringer and Jeff Goldblum. Cristina Raines is a fashion model, currently living with lawyer Chris Sarrandon, with a history of suicide. She wants to get her own apartment for a while, before she marries him. She moves into a place in Brooklyn Heights, and is bothered by an old priest who spends all of his time staring out of an upstairs window, even though he is blind.

She meets the other tenants, including the lesbian couple Beverly D'Angelo and Sylvia Miles and several others. The D'Angelo meeting stands out in my mind, as Beverly masturbates to orgasm through red tights directly across from Raines. She begins having nightmares about the other residents, and her dead father and the two women she caught him having an affair with. Her boyfriend becomes worried when she starts having fainting spells, and seems depressed and suicidal. I can't say much more without writing a spoiler.

Raines is seen in a transparent bra, and then later exposes one breast very briefly. D'Angelo shows breasts, as does Miles. Four unknowns also show breasts. Most of the nudity is during dream sequences, which are monochrome. IMDb readers have this at 5.5 of 10. Reviewers were not kind. I found it rather disjointed, and the buildup to what could have been a very suspenseful ending didn't hook me at all. The film looks fine, and some of the lesser characters were rather well played. It is almost worht renting it just to watch D'Angelo getting off, and Raines' discomfort. This is a low C-.

There is bad news and good news about the film Second Time Lucky.

The good news is that it is a fairly entertaining twenty minute movie. The story centers around  a bet between God and Satan about whether mankind would fall from grace again if given a second chance at Eden. The first fifteen minutes, therefore (more precisely, about minutes 5-20) consist of two attractive people running around stark naked in some attractive areas of New Zealand.

The woman is Diane Franklin, famed proto-babe from the 1980s. If you were born in the 1965-75 period, you probably had a crush on her at one time or another. She was the cute French exchange student who bonded with John Cusack in Better off Dead.  She was one of the princesses who were rescued from the Royal Ugly Dudes by Bill and Ted. She was the love/lust object who broke our hero's heart in The Last American Virgin. She was the cute, round little teen who faced the haunted house in Amityville II.

Then the 80s were over, and she was gone. She got married, had kids, raised them, and didn't resurface in public for a decade. She became a classic suburban mom, doing volunteer work and probably driving a Volvo station wagon. When she did return to acting, it was only with bit parts here and there. (According to IMDb, she sang the National Anthem at Dodger Stadium on June 1, 2004.)

The bad news is that it is not a twenty minute movie. Once Adam and Even get evicted from Paradise, there are two very good reasons why you should not watch any more:

1) It really doesn't make any sense for the movie to continue. God and Satan make the bet. Satan wins ... why is the movie still running?? I never did make any sense of why Adam and Even kept reappearing in the Roman Empire, WW1, and the Flapper Era. Apparently it never dawned on the writer that Diane Franklin could not have been reincarnated from the dark haired French nurse in 1917 to the blond American floozy in the 1920s, since the French girl had not died yet! But I might be taking this material a bit too seriously. Just a bit.

2) Far more important than that lame reason is the fact that Diane Franklin kept her clothes on for the rest of the film except for a very brief flash when she took of her shirt so a WW1 firing squad would have a target. Or maybe two targets.

So if you watch this film, or buy it (for $9.99 or less on a poorly-mastered DVD that appears to be a transferred VHS print), you have two choices:

Choice A - watch an unfunny twenty minute comedy in which Diane Franklin is naked throughout.

Choice B - watch an unfunny ninety minute comedy in which the last seventy minutes have no value either to the film's premise or to the history of screen nudity.

Choice A is not such a bad deal, but don't even think about continuing to watch after steppin' out of Eden. (Hey, brother.) The film's only memorable feature, other than Diane Franklin's soft curves, is a trio of very hammy performances from the three guys who play God, Satan, and the angel Gabriel as three heavenly drag queens. And while that is memorable, it is not a pleasant memory.

• Diane Franklin. I think this was the last time she aired out the goodies publicly. It's now right at the 20th anniversary of their last sighting. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)

Other Crap:

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Today the Ghost has 'caps and vids of "Top Gun" babe Kelly McGillis topless in scenes from a movie no body has every heard of called "Painted Angels" aka "The Wicked, Wicked West" (1998).

• Kelly McGillis (1, 2, 3)
• Kelly McGillis (zipped .wmv)

"Meatballs" (1979)
A few more actresses identified.

• Kate Lynch: niple pokies, dark skinnidipping scene.
• Margot Pinvidic: nipple pokies.
• Norma Dell'Agnese: upskirt, bathing suit.

"The Paperboy" (1994)
Thriller about paperboy from hell.

• Karyn Dwyer: topless as very naughty babysitter.

"Control" (1987) aka "Il Giorno prima"
Dated canadian-euro production about a nuclear bomb shelter experiment. Like a study group would consist of a half naked supermodel and a lecherous eurotrash photographer.

• Kate Nelligan: tight t-shirt.
• Lavinia Segurini: tight t-shirt as
• Zeudi Araya: half naked as supermodel.

"Middle Age Crazy" (1980) Comedy where Bruce Dern goes through a midlife crises despite being married to Ann-Margret.

• Ann-Margret: meage cleavage doing stripper dance.
• Deborah Wakeham: bra-less in tshirt, partial breast.
• Anni Lantuch: almost falling out of her nightgown.
• Michele Chiponski: obligatory topless stripper, possible see-thru panties.

"Waxwork II: Lost in Time" (1992)
No nudity despite plenty of B-movie starlets. Only good scene is when Canadian supermodel Monika Schnarre is bra-less in a slip.

• Monika Schnarre: nipple pokies.

"Dangerous Indiscretion" (1994)
Another erotic thriller.

• Joan Severance: boobs and buns gettin' it on with C. Thomas Howell.

• Maria Conchita Alonso bares breasts and bum. (1, 2)

• Sarita Choudhury (best known from "Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love") also has a topless scene.

• Winona Ryder of course shows nothing really...just an up-skirt view in #2 and a partial rear/side breast view in #3. (1, 2, 3)

Lauren Reina
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

We see a lesser Baldwin and Angie Everhart gettin' it on. Lauren Reina also gets some lovin', and in my opinion was very sexy in this movie (she kinda reminds me of Lexa Doig). Of interest here is that some of these 'caps are from a Euro-version and feature a little extra skin (links 7-15 for both)

The Scoopy.com review features comments by Scoop, Tuna and C2000. If you need more images of these two, or want to see the other ladies of this flick, you can find a truck load of 'caps in the archives.

Scoops,
Thanks for all the great videos recently in the Fun House. I have a request: how about the Sigourney Weaver barely clothed scene from Alien? It's one of my personal favorites and I bet many Fun House readers would like to see a high quality video of this classic scene!

Thanks,
-G

Shiloh? Brainscan? Ghost?...Anyone up for the challenge?

BEER HONORS MADONNA
Fruitier Than Her Dancers - A Manchester, England, brewery has created a beer in honor of Madonna's Reinvention tour coming to the city. It's called Material Girl Ale, and is a fruity ale with a 7.5 percent alcohol content. They sent a crate backstage to her, but they don't know if she drank it.